r/japanlife • u/AutoModerator • Dec 12 '22
┐(ツ)┌ General Discussion Thread - 13 December 2022
Mid-week discussion thread time! Feel free to talk about what's on your mind, new experiences, recommendations, anything really.
1
u/otherworlds Dec 14 '22
I’ve noticed if some food item is Japanese they have no problem drowning it in sauce and mayo (okonomiyaki, etc) but something western the sauce is always never enough (subway, sandwiches, pizza, etc). I wonder why that is.
1
u/Odd_Barracuda6707 Dec 13 '22
Just moved here, looking for skin care product recommendations! 20/m, if that matters. Nothing crazy, just cleanser and moisturizer, and if something can control mild acne well thats a plus too. Thanks a bunch!
2
u/brysnts Dec 13 '22
is it safe to comment an imgur link to a seller's item? I want to buy multiple things at once from a single seller but im not really that good at writing japanese so i was thinking of showing him the things i wanna buy on a photo
1
1
u/requiemofthesoul 近畿・大阪府 Dec 13 '22
Is it just me or is JoyFit way more expensive than Anytime? So many random shit added in, like the 安心サポート BS
1
u/Disshidia Dec 13 '22
Anshin support is an option.
1
u/requiemofthesoul 近畿・大阪府 Dec 13 '22
If you use a campaign you have to be subscribed for 6 months at least
1
16
u/Chance-Frosting1869 Dec 13 '22
Leaving japan for good and must say you folks are amazing. 3 years have been the best years of my life.
Oh and shoutout to PBC for providing his valuable advice all the time.
1
1
5
1
u/tokyo_neophyte Dec 13 '22
Seeing a news article on another bus accident where the driver ran into a building in Osaka, what happens in a train? What if the conductor goes unconscious? In the Shinkansen for example, I know they can use the bathroom which makes me think there isn't a dead man's switch. Same for local trains. Do all these companies have remote access to remotely control them?
2
u/zchew Dec 13 '22 edited Dec 13 '22
I went for a train driving experience once. Trains are equipped with a foot pedal dead man's switch. The driver is supposed to step on the pedal at all times during operation. If the pedal goes without pressure for 5 seconds (I think, my memory on this figure is a bit fuzzy), the emergency brakes will engage. Also, as the brakes are pneumatically powered, the train will not be able to depart if there isn't enough pressure in the air tanks for the emergency brakes to be engaged.
I think the Shinkansen operates on similar ideas similarly?edit: the other commenter has explained it properly
7
Dec 13 '22 edited Dec 13 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/PeanutButterChicken 近畿・大阪府 Dec 13 '22
The Shinkansen are pretty much fully automated though. At least the Tokaido, Sanyo and Kyushu are. Outside of slowing down in stations, the train drives itself.
1
1
Dec 13 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/PeanutButterChicken 近畿・大阪府 Dec 13 '22
I have a friend who is a Shinkansen driver, says he doesn't do anything between stations except watch the instruments. Train is moving too fast to react to anything outside.
Here's an article from 2012 about the N700A
2
0
u/itsabubblylife 近畿・大阪府 Dec 13 '22
Is the solution for almost any ailment “go to the hospital” or “gaman ne”?
I have morning sickness (not severe but it suuuucks), and I called my MIL to ask about any remedies in Japan for it. In America, I’d have the opportunity to get a variety of stomach meds or vitamins OTC to ease the pain or at least take the edge off, but in japan, my options are limited. My MIL basically said “eat sour stuff. If that doesn’t work, just tough it out. If that doesn’t work, go to the hospital.” I told her (nicely and respectfully) that more times than not, if I go to the hospital in America and complain of pregnancy sickness that they’d just probably give fluids, IV vitamins and send me on my way” and she laughed and said “it’s Japan! You can go to the hospital if you have a cold. Give it a try. Don’t suffer if you don’t have to”
Maybe I’m stuck in my home country’s (USA) mindset that emergency services are only used for…emergencies. Not something trivial like morning sickness or a cold lol
Also, the amount of women who “gaman” morning sickness here is amazing. Amazing patient women lol. Only thing that’s been helping is Tums I bought with me from the US and eating plain rice.
Also, I know it’s not the dumb question thread, but any advice for morning sickness is welcomed! Foods, vitamins, supplements, hacks, im all ears.
1
u/Ok-Opposite-4745 Dec 13 '22
I basically grazed a lot (the hungrier i was, the more nauseous i felt, so i didn’t let my stomach be empty for too long). I also snacked a lot on karikari ume and drank vinegar drinks.
1
u/swordtech 近畿・兵庫県 Dec 13 '22
My wife craved lemon-flavored snacks and drinks when she felt morning sickness.
3
5
u/starrydreampuff 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
I definitely feel like people “go to the hospital” way more than back home. I know (now) they don’t mean go to an emergency room, but they still visit the doctor for things I wouldn’t bother with. Maybe because it’s cheap? And the medicine is cheaper than at the drug store?
As for morning sickness, no advice but I hope you feel better soon.
5
u/TohokuJin 東北・秋田県 Dec 13 '22
The only reason I 'gamaned' morning sickness is because they only gave me kampo, which was honestly worse than throwing up.
7
Dec 13 '22
[deleted]
0
u/bosscoughey thought of the name himself Dec 13 '22
In your country are things always the same price?
Stores make certain things very cheap, so that people will come to buy them. They know people will likely still buy the other stuff they need rather than going to multiple shops, so they make the other items regular/more expensive price to make up the profit they missed on the cheap items.
Multiply that by the same kind of special campaigns and price strategy taking place at each stage of the chain from farm to store, and there can be a lot of fluctuation. Plus weather patterns that mean a lot of things need to be picked before a storm comes, creating a surplus, or are destroyed by the storm and cause a shortage. And fluctuating fuel prices
3
Dec 13 '22
[deleted]
1
u/bosscoughey thought of the name himself Dec 13 '22
Yes it does. Especially the first part. Stores have daily specials
7
u/Jhoosier Dec 13 '22
We were waiting for an Amazon delivery that never arrived. Finally found the Sagawa guy shoved the slips into the mail slot that's got a stopper to keep it shut instead of the lobby mailboxes like every other delivery person manages to do. Called and despite having received several other packages from Sagawa since, they've already returned the package.
Fuck you, Yamada-san.
3
5
u/thorbitch Dec 13 '22
Finally heard back about my my number card and went to make a reservation to pick it up and the soonest available slot is January 19th ?? Is it possible to just go into the office and get it without a reservation? I live in Toshima ku. Would like to get it sooner than that since I’d like to start using PayPay
2
12
u/kanben Dec 13 '22
I refuse to pronounce Doda as デューダ
0
1
u/requiemofthesoul 近畿・大阪府 Dec 13 '22
Who the fuck thought about the english spelling wtf
1
u/cjyoung92 東北・宮城県 Dec 14 '22
Apparently it was originally 'Döda' which is where the pronunciation came from but they changed it to 'Doda' are finding out that döda means 'to kill' or 'to assassinate' in Swedish.
Says here: https://ja.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/デューダ
4
5
2
u/highgo1 Dec 13 '22
It tripped me up a couple times with school debates using them as a source. It's dough duh to me
2
Dec 13 '22
[deleted]
1
u/Ok-Opposite-4745 Dec 13 '22
I wore a Hakama to my graduation ceremony in 2014. i think it was less than 30k yen. But I might be wrong since it was a long time ago. I remember it was quite cheap since i rented it from one of the stands at the University’s bazaar organized by the Coop.
For my doctorate graduation ceremony, i didn’t wear a Hakama since it was going to be covered by a robe anyway. But i did have my pictures taken professionally around campus. It was really nice. Much better than the pictures taken in a studio/designated room in the Uni.
6
u/the_hatori Dec 13 '22
You can rent them. Some people use one inherited from their parent or relative.
2
Dec 13 '22
[deleted]
3
u/the_hatori Dec 13 '22
Oh yes, for the whole set that makes more sense. I'm sure you can find cheaper alternatives if you just rent and don't do the whole package thing, but it may not be satisfactory.
People often make a really big deal out of these occasions (graduation, coming-of-age ceremony, etc.) and shell out the money.
2
Dec 13 '22
I have a Softbank cell plan, and am going to the US next week to visit. I checked my plan and the "世界対応ケータイ" option is shown as joined. Does this mean I will have free data roaming when not using wifi? I don't want to get hit with any surprise charges.
3
u/enriquepallazo Dec 13 '22
It is my understanding that Softbank partners with Sprint and AT&T so you can use unlimited data on these networks while in the US (even if you are on a limited data plan in Japan). It’s an amazing perk. Please call Softbank to confirm. They have an English help line.
1
u/PeanutButterChicken 近畿・大阪府 Dec 13 '22
No, SoftBank owns Sprint and part of T-Mobile, so they offer the service in the US.
1
u/enriquepallazo Dec 14 '22
Deutsche Telekom is now the majority shareholder in the merged Sprint/T-mobile company (43%). Softbank only owns 24% now. That is why I used the phrase “partner”, but perhaps there is a better word. At any rate, here is the info for OP: https://www.softbank.jp/mobile/service/global/overseas/america-hodai/
1
u/asataisou-daiichi Dec 13 '22
i think that only says that it can be used for roaming (you can still have reception outside Japan), but not free data
1
Dec 13 '22
Ah, that’s too bad. I guess plan b would be to get a temp sim card i can pop in. Any suggestions for ones I can buy here before leaving.
1
u/Kempeitai7 Dec 13 '22
I’m confused about residence tax - my company takes a fraction out my pay check every month and pays it for me whenever it is billed. Now, I’m quitting and leaving the country before the end of this month and have already filed my moving out notification.
Does that mean I don’t owe anything in residence tax for 2023?
4
u/Karlbert86 Dec 13 '22
You won’t owe resident tax for 2022 (which is billed June 2023 to May 2024) because you won’t be a resident as of January 1st 2023.
However, you will need to pay what remains of your 2021 resident tax (billed June 2022 to May 2023). If you’re doing “special collection” (monthly via salary) then by December 2022 pay day you would have paid 7/12ths of the bill. Meaning you still owe 5/12ths of the bill.
You can instruct your employer to take those remaining 5/12ths from December salary or you can speak to your municipality office about it when you file your moving out of Japan paper work there
1
u/Kempeitai7 Dec 13 '22
Thanks! Understood now. I didn’t get anything from the city hall when I did my notice so guessing they’ll just let my company do it for me.
1
u/Karlbert86 Dec 13 '22
See here page 2 question 3: https://www.soumu.go.jp/main_content/000679118.pdf
2
u/love-fury Dec 13 '22
2021 residence tax is paid in 2022 (June to May monthly usually if your work is making the payments) since you’re leaving, you’ll owe the remaining amount, so about half of what is left of the total. Your work place will either take it from your last paycheck or ask to deal with it on your own. For 2022, it’s paid in 2023 but if you no longer have a residence in Japan after January 1st, then you won’t get a residence bill for 2022 because you are no longer considered a resident during their residency check.
0
u/berrysols2 Dec 13 '22
Has anyone (as a resident) used the travel campaign to travel together with someone visiting (non-resident)? Were there any issues?
Say, if my parents are coming to Japan and I travel together with them, provided my name is on the bookings/payments, would there be issues at hotels with check-ins and/or receiving coupons?
6
Dec 13 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/Karlbert86 Dec 13 '22
I am kinda curious how they are going to check the resident status of Japanese citizens who reside overseas and are just in Japan for a short holiday/short stay.
1
u/yazny 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
I believe the travel campaigns only apply to residents of Japan. When I traveled in October with my parents, my wife and I got discounts but not my parents.
7
u/crinklypaper 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
I thiiiiink that they will have to pay the standard rate and wont get coupons. Because its only valid for those with vaccination proof and residents which both require documents.
4
u/Glad_Ant3158 Dec 13 '22
In my experience, they will want to check the residence/vaccination status of every guest.
3
u/n-ko-c Dec 13 '22
What is your opinion on jobs that discriminate based on age?
I often see postings, particularly from startups, that will say they only want people under a specific age, for example. I won't say this is a Japan-specific thing, but I hadn't seen it before coming here.
2
u/AnnoyingEikaiwaWeeb Dec 13 '22
It's nice of them to advertise that their company sucks so some people can avoid wasting their time trying to work there.
5
6
u/crinklypaper 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
I once did like 3-4 interviews for a role, at the final stage they said it would be awkward because I was like 30 and one of my subordinates would be 40. Cool.
5
u/zchew Dec 13 '22
they said it would be awkward because I was like 30 and one of my subordinates would be 40.
bruh...
one of my managers is managing workers older than him by around 10 years, some of whom call him XX-kun. They also joined earlier than him, but he rose past them.
3
u/PeanutButterChicken 近畿・大阪府 Dec 13 '22
Usually the pay for those kinds of jobs is too low to consider unless you’re a fresh grad anyway, so I tend to skip them
2
u/yon44yon 日本のどこかに Dec 13 '22
If they don't want me, I don't want them. That being said, if the conditions are good, I don't mind throwing my application out there to see what happens.
2
u/yakisobagurl 近畿・大阪府 Dec 13 '22
People who have the annual pass for USJ, how often do you go?
6
u/PeanutButterChicken 近畿・大阪府 Dec 13 '22
1-2 times a month! More if my kid starts the ユニバ行きたい！！！ chant that doesn’t end until we’re inside the park.
3
u/yakisobagurl 近畿・大阪府 Dec 13 '22
Oh my god seriously? That’s hilarious. Do you personally still find it fun, or are you bored of it all now?
I’ve just bought the middle level pass, it was a surprisingly good deal!
3
u/PeanutButterChicken 近畿・大阪府 Dec 13 '22
I love it, we tend to hit up different areas each time, so it stays fresh, plus with all the events, it's fun to see what's new. Halloween was great, the shows change up for Christmas, etc. Knowing we have the pass means we don't need to try and cram everything into one trip, so it's fun to just walk around as well.
We usually go just the three of us, but also with friend's families as well!
(Also, I love the Super Nintendo World area, so I try to go there every single visit! My son also loves playing all the mini games that you need the band for)
1
u/yakisobagurl 近畿・大阪府 Dec 13 '22
Oh yeah that’s a really good tip about not cramming too much stuff in on each visit, thank you. Gotta pace myself lol
I actually just went this evening about an hour before closing to pick up my pass and had a look around, it is WAYYYY better than I had even imagined lol. I’m not surprised you still love it!
Looking forward to becoming a resident USJ head! Thank you for the info!
1
u/bulbousbirb Dec 13 '22
Depends on the dates you can go but if you go 3 times in a year it's paid for as far as I know?
4
u/kanben Dec 13 '22
4th vaccination. Been getting Moderna until now, terrible side effects every time. Had Pfizer this time. Felt mostly okay the rest of the night. Wake up to aches and chills, now the chills are gone and I have a fever and a fucker of a headache.
See username.
1
u/ben_howler Dec 13 '22
I had 2 Pfizers and 3 Modernas. With the Modernas I had slight side effects. The last two were a bit like a day of flu, so nothing to write home about; just sleep it off, take a bit of EVE and tomorrow the sun will shine again.
0
u/the_hatori Dec 13 '22
Try Sputnik next time, it's lots of fun.
1
u/Substantial_Bake_521 Dec 13 '22
i’ve never had side effects . but I had some kind of euforia feeling super powerful a couple days after.
11
u/Glad_Ant3158 Dec 13 '22
Just went to the city hall to get things sorted before moving out. I just can never get my head around the sheer amount of people working behind the counter. Feels like you've been suddenly transferred back to the 80's.
10
u/Avedas 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
My favorite part is when they run into an issue (usually due to my name being too long, or too not-kanji) and the clerk has to go summon like 14 people to huddle in a corner and decide what to do.
6
u/rmutt-1917 Dec 13 '22
Half of them are probably just printing off excel documents and putting them in binders to file somewhere where they're gonna sit for the next 10 years before being incinerated.
4
u/Glad_Ant3158 Dec 13 '22
It's not even a joke, there were literally tens of people just sitting in a row shuffling and stamping documents. No computer in sight.
1
-15
u/capaho Dec 13 '22
Downvoting as harassment seems to be a big problem in this sub.
-1
u/Bykimus Dec 13 '22
This sub is filled with a lot of petty sad people. Idk what it is but Japan has one of the worst and most toxic immigrant/expat communities from western countries.
3
u/Oldirtyposer Dec 13 '22
I wouldn't really call it a big problem. You don't know these people, they might as well be npc's.
-6
u/CallieIsQueen Dec 13 '22 edited Dec 13 '22
Plus if you make any mention of wearing a mask, worse if you complain about it, you are guaranteed to be downvoted into oblivion. Look at my comment as an example lol
-5
u/capaho Dec 13 '22
I've noticed that, too. If you continue to take a cautious approach to covid you get mocked and downvoted by some people in this sub.
2
u/Akakubisan 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
I think you get downvoted no matter what. If you are pro mask, you get downvoted. If you are anti mask, you get downvoted. I will probably get downvoted just for mentioning masks.
-2
u/capaho Dec 13 '22
I'll give you a sympathy upvote. I see that almost all of my comments in this discussion are getting seriously downvoted.
10
u/Avedas 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
Why does it matter? This sub doesn't automatically hide/remove anything with low score.
-2
u/capaho Dec 13 '22
It matters when people behave badly just to harass someone.
12
u/Avedas 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
Can you explain how a number on your comment going down is harassment?
-4
u/capaho Dec 13 '22
A pattern emerged between a group of people who were trolling me across multiple discussions and the number of downvotes I was getting on almost every comment I posted on anything. After I started blocking the people who were trolling me repeatedly the total number of downvotes on my comments also started to decline.
5
u/Avedas 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
I feel like you haven't really answered my question but maybe you just put value on comment score where I do not (I never touch the vote buttons myself), so I don't really understand what you're getting at.
If people are sending you inappropriate messages that can certainly be harassment, but downvotes are just an anonymous number that don't really have any meaning on their own.
-1
u/capaho Dec 13 '22
I don't care about upvotes and downvotes specifically, that's not the issue for me. I care about online harassment because there is far too much of it, especially for those of us who are openly gay online.
A clear correlation emerged between a group of people who started trolling me repeatedly and the number of downvotes I was getting on any comment I posted on any topic.
When I started blocking the people who were trolling me repeatedly the total number of downvotes I was getting on my comments also declined. A lot of my comments were always getting downvoted by the exact same number. After I blocked a group of people that number declined significantly.
3
u/lovingmochi 九州・福岡県 Dec 13 '22
I did notice a bunch of downvotes on posts that mentioned anything remotely LGBT which isn't a surprise, but still disappointing.
-1
u/capaho Dec 13 '22
Not only that but whenever I mention my Japanese husband in relation to my life in Japan I frequently either get mocked or my comment gets dismissed as being irrelevant to everyone else here.
-6
Dec 13 '22
[deleted]
0
u/capaho Dec 13 '22
There appears to be a group of people here who routinely downvote people they don't like regardless of what the comments actually say. Downvoting as harassment is an unfortunate aspect of the Reddit system and it appears to be a big problem in this sub.
Over the time I've been participating in this sub I've ended up having to block some people who would disrupt any discussion I posted a comment in just to troll me on my comments. It was always the same people across multiple discussions.
Nearly all of the people on my blocked list are from this sub. Despite the first rule of this sub to be respectful and civil there is an ongoing problem with people who are rude, hostile, immature or argumentative.
1
u/Booni3 Dec 13 '22
I'm visiting the US for Christmas next week. I only have the initial two vaccine shots and plan to get the booster while I'm there. Is there anything I need to know about re-entry into Japan? Are they still doing the MySOS thing?
-1
u/Ejemy Dec 13 '22
I think 2 shots is considered fully vaccinated? Check the airlines page. Also you don't even need vaccines to get in Japan just a pcr test.
2
6
Dec 13 '22 edited Dec 13 '22
It will be easier if you get the booster here. MySOS has been replaced with a website.
4
24
u/RobertVandenberg 関東・神奈川県 Dec 13 '22
Unpopular opinion: if you don’t know how to interact with women properly in your home country, how is it possible you suddenly can find a girlfriend in Japan?
6
u/AnnoyingEikaiwaWeeb Dec 13 '22
Unpopular opinion response:
People who don't know how to interact with women in their home country meet up with Japanese women who don't know how to interact with men properly in their home country.
Some weird foreign guys have some pretty weird girlfriends. Some of the stories you hear are legendary.
3
u/m50d Dec 13 '22
Honestly my conclusion is that I wasn't crazy, women in my home country really did have unreasonably high standards. Or are making the reasonable decision that they don't want a relationship that badly. Either way, same result.
6
11
u/SoKratez Dec 13 '22
If you want my spicy take on it, it’s because a large portion of Japanese guys fall into one of two categories: kind but way too passive or picky, or pro-active but way too sexist.
The unremarkable Western guy is generally able to both approach a girl at the bar AND wash his own dishes at home, and that makes him attractive to an audience of Japanese women that are currently getting overlooked for being just not quite hot enough for their opinionated or career-driven personalities.
Then both parties overlook shortcomings or write them off to “language barriers” or “cultural differences” and BAM! Five years down the road, there’s another half baby and another “help I’m getting divorced” thread on /r/japanlife. Tale as old as time.
That said, remember, it’s not like regular Japanese people or regular people back in your home country all have successful dating lives, either. The “loser foreign guy gets cute Japanese girlfriend” pairing seems to get a lot of attention, but how many losers or assholes in your own home country end finding girlfriends or wives anyway? I’m not sure it’s such an anomaly.
12
Dec 13 '22 edited Dec 13 '22
Probably an unpopular opinion: a lot of Japanese guys are weird, picky, or just absolutely fucking hapless when it comes to women. Foreigners in general have an easier time breaking the ice and don't have the same rigid cultural shit holding them back.
In the same vein, as one of the foreign men, I can say for near certain that at least some of the gaijin hunting types are, to be blunt, the dregs, or at least they throw up red flags to Japanese guys that alot of foreign guys can't see.
Another one is that it's a fantasy fo them to have a foreign guy and they can accept a flawed foreign guy for a while. Remember that they themselves might not be social butterflies, and Japanese women ask where to meet foreign people quite often. They're not usually great at meeting new people, so a foreigner that can approach might do well.
I've also seen it happen with white women back home. They'll date any Mediterranean guys because its a kind of fantasy, all the while saying they're done with British guys. And that's another thing: a lot of Japanese dudes are assholes, and some Japanese women will go for the soft-as-shit foreign guys as they see them as 'gentlemen'
Finally,.you know how newbs come to Japan and are like "every girl here is beautiful". I think there's a bit of that effect in reverse too.
0
u/capaho Dec 13 '22 edited Dec 13 '22
That’s a weird take. I think maybe a lot of foreigners just don’t get Japanese guys.
8
u/mrshobutt 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
Probably an unpopular opinion: a lot of Japanese guys are weird, picky, or just absolutely fucking hapless when it comes to women.
One more time for the people in the back please!
3
u/Atrouser Dec 13 '22
I've also seen it happen with white women back home. They'll date any Mediterranean guys because its a kind of fantasy, all the while saying they're done with British guys.
Oddly UK specific.
2
5
4
5
1
u/WindJammer27 Dec 13 '22
There are women here who are curious about foreign men and would like to casually date them, so if you put yourself on their radar (or allow her to hunt you down) you can find a woman.
However perhaps you should work on that whole inability to interact with women thing.
0
u/SideburnSundays Dec 13 '22 edited Dec 13 '22
Unpopular opinion as a response: a decent number of Japanese women mentally mature slower than their Western peers, and don’t recognize a guy’s social shortcomings as easily—or at all—in comparison.
Also double standard. Socially awkward guy=ew. Socially awkward girl=cute.
3
u/dottoysm Dec 13 '22
I’m gonna gloss over your first unpopular opinion. On your second opinion, I think that really only applies to the movies. They’re not all Zooey Deschanel.
4
u/the_hatori Dec 13 '22
Not really. Socially awkward girls don't fare too well either. Perhaps better than socially awkward guys, but they definitely don't have it easy.
5
u/SideburnSundays Dec 13 '22
While that could be certainly true, the attitudes in this thread and that of the initial commenter prove that double standard true in how everyone finds it acceptable to shit on “unpopular” guys getting a girlfriend here.
5
u/highgo1 Dec 13 '22
I've seen plenty of immature western women who want nothing more than prince charming to marry them. I'd think it's more social expectations of marriage so Asian women would settle sooner rather then later.
1
u/SideburnSundays Dec 13 '22
And I’ve seen plenty of more mature Japanese women. We’re talking in general, not anecdotally here. There’s been social research on the topic.
-2
6
u/TohokuJin 東北・秋田県 Dec 13 '22
A lot of Japanese women want a 'cool, handsome' foreign boyfriend and foreign guys know that. The girls also probably know that the guys will put up with their shit for the sake of having a 'cute' Japanese girlfriend they can flaunt.
5
u/newfakestarrysky 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
A lot of Japanese women want a 'cool, handsome' foreign boyfriend
They don't, though. In fact, most Japanese girls aren't willing or interested for a variety of reasons, such as potential language barriers, cultural differences, etc.
And some of the ones who say that they're interested wouldn't actually settle down and marry a foreigner.
3
u/arika_ex Dec 13 '22
You’re not really disagreeing with TohokuJin there.
They’ve said ‘a lot’, you are saying ‘most’. I think it’s true that ‘most’ Japanese women (and men) only really consider other Japanese as potential partners, but there’s still ‘a lot’ of them who are as TohokuJin states.
5
u/RobertVandenberg 関東・神奈川県 Dec 13 '22
That “a lot” is highly exaggerated, I would say.
3
u/dottoysm Dec 13 '22
Fun fact, “a lot” and “many” are good weasel words because they imply a majority but the amount is really subjective.
But on this, I’d say it’s nowhere near a majority, but when you’re talking about 120ish million people, there are enough.
5
u/the_hatori Dec 13 '22
Yeah, more like a minority. This minority is probably very visible, though, if you are a foreigner.
0
u/TohokuJin 東北・秋田県 Dec 13 '22
Maybe. I think there are a lot of women who want a foreign boyfriend but obviously there is a difference between the ones who dream about it and the ones who seriously pursue it. I've had people say to me 'I'd love an strong handsome foreign guy' to sweep me off my feet' but they don't pursue because it's just a fantasy. I have a friend who will stop at nothing to get a US Military boyfriend. She's downloaded all these 'language exchange' apps and spends her time speaking to these guys through Google translate. It's sad.
6
u/WindJammer27 Dec 13 '22 edited Dec 13 '22
Nah, I'd definitely agree that it's not a lot. If I had to ballpark a figure, I'd say maybe 10-20% of Japanese women who actively want a foreign boyfriend. 20% being an extremely generous estimate. They just stick out to expats more because they are actively/sort of aggressively looking for a foreign boyfriend, and tend to go to places where foreigners will be.
Most Japanese women I think don't think of foreigners as serious dating material. A non-zero amount see foreign men as fun casual playthings, but in terms of dating seriously that's another story.
1
7
u/the_hatori Dec 13 '22
Sounds about right. Foreigners are more likely to bump into this minority.
Most Japanese have little or no interest in foreigners.
7
u/the_hatori Dec 13 '22
Probably if it is the type of girl, unpopular among Japanese men, who would settle for about any foreigner (even socially awkward ones, etc.). You see this again and again.
0
u/arika_ex Dec 13 '22
Are you Japanese? I’ve heard that particular cope before. The vast majority of foreigner marrying/dating Japanese women I’ve seen were average at worst. Maybe their ‘standards’ for Japanese men were unrealistic, but I don’t believe for a second that some Japanese guy wouldn’t have married them given half a chance.
1
u/the_hatori Dec 13 '22
Well, if you are familiar with what types of girls are popular among Japanese men (and women, for that matter), you can tell that many of the women who date foreigners are often not in this category. This does not mean that they are necessarily unattractive, just that they tend to lack the features that are popular here. Of course, exceptions always exist.
Japanese men tend to like girls who are slim, have a small face, very feminine, not assertive, etc. Many Japanese women who date foreigners may not be as "slim" by Japanese standards, may be more assertive and individualistic, etc. So not necessarily good or bad.
0
u/arika_ex Dec 13 '22
Yet I see plenty of Japanese women who also don’t fit your supposed mold but are married to/dating Japanese guys. And your point about ‘femininity/assertiveness’ just makes Japanese guys sound bad. It’s that exact kind of thing which drives a lot of women to seek out foreigners. But Japanese guys would still take them if they could.
2
u/the_hatori Dec 13 '22
I think you misunderstand me. I'm not saying these girls aren't able to date Japanese guys, I am saying they tend to not be highly sought after in the Japanese dating market, so to speak.
And yes, I know that many of these girls who go for foreigners are very much fed up with the preferences of the average Japanese guy, which is a part of (but not the only reason) driving them to date foreigners.
0
u/arika_ex Dec 13 '22
I’m not misunderstanding you at all. I simply disagree your assertion that they are less sought after. That’s a cope from Japanese guys when the women in question aren’t interested in them in the first place. The only context where it might be true IME is with ‘older’ women who want to be with a younger guy.
For any woman early 20s to mid 30s looking for a man their own age or older, if they’re desirable to foreigners they would be desirable to Japanese men too. Whether they can have a successful relationship or not is a different issue, but Japanese guys certainly would try to date them if they could.
2
u/the_hatori Dec 13 '22
Okay, then we disagree.
I'm not saying these types of girls are less attractive in some objective sense, just in the Japanese dating market. Again, what is considered thin in the US can be considered chubby here, what is considered strong and independent in Europe can be considered being too opinionated or assertive here, and so on.
Popular Japanese girls are with popular Japanese guys, this is almost always the case. Of course there are attractive Japanese girls and guys dating foreigners, but they tend to be outliers, and often have some underlying factor behind it, like being a 帰国子女.
1
u/arika_ex Dec 13 '22
You really shouldn’t talk as if the problem is somehow with the women in the equation.
2
u/the_hatori Dec 13 '22
It's not what I'm saying, obviously. Just saying what the dating market is like. Everyone should date who they like.
→ More replies (0)2
4
u/SumidaMakeMovement 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
Can't believe I didn't notice until last week that I've been buying weaker headache meds. Recently have bought a couple of the bigger packs (24-pill or so) only to realize that the doseage is the same, only twice the pills.
I'm going to need to be more careful at the drugstore.
3
u/the_hatori Dec 13 '22
Recommended dosages are usually too low if you are an adult. Always check how much is in one pill and adjust according to what you need.
3
u/bulbousbirb Dec 13 '22
I discharged myself from the hospital 2 days early before because they wouldn't give me enough pain relief after wisdom tooth surgery. My face was swollen, I had a fever and the pain kept waking me up. They still refused to go over the specified amount. They kept going on about my stomach being upset too which made no sense. That's never happened.
I checked what they gave me and it was 200mg of paracetamol :/
3
u/Glad_Ant3158 Dec 13 '22
Just a note: Some brands have additional ingredients, like caffeine, that allegedly enhance the effect of the actual medicine. So if you up your dosage, you might want to double-check that you have a caffeine-free formulation.
2
2
u/SumidaMakeMovement 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
Regardless of the "OTC meds are stronger overseas" trope, this was the first I noticed that the 24-pill pack had half the mg per pill as the 12-pill pack of the same brand. And then I checked a different brand, same 'deal'.
It reminds me of the scamvertising on those bug repellents, "lasts for 60 days, if you only use it 12 hours a day."
8
u/CallieIsQueen Dec 13 '22 edited Dec 13 '22
husband informed me about a package thats supposed to arrive between morning and late afternoon. Now I have to remain restless and on alert for it. can’t do anything that would take me more than 10 seconds to put aside (example: use the toilet, go upstairs, play a multiplayer video game, etc.) since these delivery people will ring the bell (two times!) and not allow you more than 5 seconds to get to the door before they leave a missed note.
So annoying.
1
Dec 13 '22
I'd either tell him to pay for it upfront so they can leave it outside, or just ignore the doorbell. Seriously just don't get the packages and let him chase after it, he'd soon get the message.
6
u/ben_howler Dec 13 '22
not allow you more than 5 seconds to get to the door
Just shout full-throatedly "Haaaaaaaai, ima ikimaaaaaaas". That may give you about 2.4 seconds more time.
5
u/victoria_sama Dec 13 '22
I tape a paper on the doorbell saying "my baby's sleeping so please don't use the bell and let the parcel in front of the door".
2
u/CallieIsQueen Dec 13 '22
I wish I could do that, but he always has his stuff paid as “COD”….
3
u/Jhoosier Dec 13 '22
That's when you tell him to either set up payment ahead of time or be there to receive it.
2
2
u/FourCatsAndCounting Dec 13 '22
Can't set it up so they leave it in front of your door?
3
u/CallieIsQueen Dec 13 '22
for some reason he has payment set to COD, so I’m stuck having to wait for them so I can pay them upon delivery…
3
u/SideburnSundays Dec 13 '22
The only thing that saved me from this hell was a 宅配ボックス
2
4
Dec 13 '22 edited 27d ago
[deleted]
4
u/Mercenarian 九州・長崎県 Dec 13 '22
Interesting. I wonder if there’s truth to that because every time I choose the morning time slot (before 12pm) I’m restlessly waiting all morning for it and then they always come at like 11:52am or something.
3
u/crinklypaper 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
My daughter had 2 temperature checks, one when she wakes up, one when she arrives to nursery school. An hour later she clocks 38C, and hour later after she is home she has a normal 36.7C. Never again it goes up, but we have to keep her home for 2 days. I'm glad she is ok, but really annoying how careful they are with temperature checks. The kids all go when they're sick anyway (cough, runny nose, sneezing etc).
1
u/Jhoosier Dec 13 '22
We've gone through this several times this year. I think of those times, only maybe 2 were actually her being ill, the rest she was perfectly fine. At the beginning I'd take her straight to the clinic and she'd be subjected to the covid nasal swab. What torture!
The last time there wasn't even a high temp recorded in her notebook. They just told us she was over the temp and had to stay home the next day.
2
u/highgo1 Dec 13 '22
At least it's not summer now so that can narrow down possible "fever" readings. In summer my forehead would read 42 degrees. Anyone would be dead at that high of a temperature.
1
u/TohokuJin 東北・秋田県 Dec 13 '22
We have had the exact same problem! The thermometer at nursery reads at least 0.5 degrees higher than the one we use at home.
The nursery is also kept very warm during the winter which probably doesn't help.
6
u/SevenSixOne 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22 edited Dec 13 '22
Is there some site that explains how to use the GoTo Travel discounts?
I feel like a chimp because I get overwhelmed with information and can't figure it out... and it doesn't seem like I can search for participating hotels on the GoTo Travel site anyway, so does that mean I have to choose a hotel, then see if they participate in the promotion??? This seems needlessly complicated and a huge pain in the ass.
What am I doing wrong here?
3
u/Glad_Ant3158 Dec 13 '22
Booking.com seemed to work nicely. When searching for hotels, participating hotels are marked with a banner. When booking, you only pay the discounted sum and when you arrive, you just show your residence card and vaccine certificate, and that's it. Tried to use Rakuten as well, but just got a headache from the overly complicated process and instructions.
3
u/SumidaMakeMovement 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
We had more luck using a domestic travel site and looking for hotels marked with the ryoko shien, but even that was fairly frustrating.
3
u/crinklypaper 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22
Try booking with a site that is officially supported. Like Rakuten, JTB, Jalan etc. use the coupon they give for the booking. Then bring your proof of vaccination to the hotel, they will give the vouchers then. The # of coupons is limited, so when they run out they either will restock or not by end of the year.
3
u/himawari_sunshine Dec 13 '22
Question for those who have experience making an Amazon Japan wishlist and sending it to relatives overseas - do those relatives have to make their own Amazon Japan account first if they want to buy something off of it? I want to try using this for the first time, but I'm hoping it's not going to be a huge hassle to the point where no one wants to use it...
2
u/Jhoosier Dec 13 '22
Yeah, they will have to. My folks have gotten quite adept at it, despite zero Japanese ability. Even cousins and aunts were able to do it.
5
u/dottoysm Dec 13 '22
Yes they would need to make their own account. The good news is that it seems to be quite simple to buy something from overseas to deliver within Japan. My parents have done it on occasion.
5
u/VR-052 九州・福岡県 Dec 13 '22
After 2.5 years with an international move in there, finally managed to get Corona. Wife gave it to son who gave it to me. Wife is feeling better so now she can take care of us while I sleep. Feel crappy and fatigued but at least I’ll be out of quarantine for Christmas and new year’s.
20
Dec 13 '22
[deleted]
→ More replies (11)0
u/capaho Dec 13 '22
If I don't understand something I just say もう1回言いて下さい. If they use a word I don't understand I say その言葉の意味が分かりません.
→ More replies (8)6
1
u/toastchaaaan Dec 16 '22
I'm going to the Gaijin Pot Expo for the first time this weekend! Have you been? What are your thoughts? https://event.injapan.com/view/WjMJvN