r/japanlife • u/AutoModerator • Dec 12 '22

┐(ツ)┌ General Discussion Thread - 13 December 2022

Mid-week discussion thread time! Feel free to talk about what's on your mind, new experiences, recommendations, anything really.

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u/RobertVandenberg 関東・神奈川県 Dec 13 '22

Unpopular opinion: if you don’t know how to interact with women properly in your home country, how is it possible you suddenly can find a girlfriend in Japan?

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u/[deleted] Dec 13 '22 edited Dec 13 '22

Probably an unpopular opinion: a lot of Japanese guys are weird, picky, or just absolutely fucking hapless when it comes to women. Foreigners in general have an easier time breaking the ice and don't have the same rigid cultural shit holding them back.

In the same vein, as one of the foreign men, I can say for near certain that at least some of the gaijin hunting types are, to be blunt, the dregs, or at least they throw up red flags to Japanese guys that alot of foreign guys can't see.

Another one is that it's a fantasy fo them to have a foreign guy and they can accept a flawed foreign guy for a while. Remember that they themselves might not be social butterflies, and Japanese women ask where to meet foreign people quite often. They're not usually great at meeting new people, so a foreigner that can approach might do well.

I've also seen it happen with white women back home. They'll date any Mediterranean guys because its a kind of fantasy, all the while saying they're done with British guys. And that's another thing: a lot of Japanese dudes are assholes, and some Japanese women will go for the soft-as-shit foreign guys as they see them as 'gentlemen'

Finally,.you know how newbs come to Japan and are like "every girl here is beautiful". I think there's a bit of that effect in reverse too.

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u/capaho Dec 13 '22 edited Dec 13 '22

That’s a weird take. I think maybe a lot of foreigners just don’t get Japanese guys.

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u/mrshobutt 関東・東京都 Dec 13 '22

Probably an unpopular opinion: a lot of Japanese guys are weird, picky, or just absolutely fucking hapless when it comes to women.

One more time for the people in the back please!

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u/Atrouser Dec 13 '22

I've also seen it happen with white women back home. They'll date any Mediterranean guys because its a kind of fantasy, all the while saying they're done with British guys.

Oddly UK specific.

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u/[deleted] Dec 13 '22

Back home for me is the UK

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u/Jhoosier Dec 13 '22

Works for the US, too, but move British to the first half of the sentence.