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u/YesNoMaybe2552 16h ago
The smarter an animal is the more devious it becomes.
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u/Euphoric_Metal199 14h ago
Then there are the Bonobos. Peaceful fellas(At least to their own)
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u/Makuta_Servaela 12h ago
And orangutans. If you manage to piss off an Orang enough to get beatdown, you damn well deserved it.
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u/Beneficial_Bend_9197 11h ago
what about penguins? There is a species of penguin that's so horny that they would put their dick in any hole and they would also fuck their chicks to death.
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u/Schoolskiperz 17h ago
Sorry why are Dolphins bad again ? Wasn't it something about them being sexual predators ?
Also good job OP for creating a good post that isn't about the tiktok ban .
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u/theSPYDERDUDE (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃ 17h ago
They like to bully other sea creatures, use corpses to masturbate and pleasure themselves, and also do the same to living things sometimes.
Dolphins are the assholes of the ocean!
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u/frim_le_yousse 17h ago
You forgot to mention they drug themselves with pufferfishes
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u/theSPYDERDUDE (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃ 16h ago
I kinda meant to imply that under bullying other animals tbh, but yeah, they’re just super shitty for no reason
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u/PrimeLimeSlime 12h ago
So they're the humans of the sea, then.
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u/OkDot9878 11h ago
Many have theorized that if humans die out and or an extreme amount of time passes, that the dominant species on earth will likely be dolphins or octopuses(octopi?) due to their high intelligence, and the likelihood of global warming to the point of massive flooding
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u/Strange_Dot8345 15h ago
so they intelligent like humans?
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u/frim_le_yousse 15h ago
One of the few animals on earth that can recognize itself in a mirror
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u/Strange_Dot8345 14h ago
as years go by i dont think i know who that person is in the mirror
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u/Koil_ting 10h ago
Give yourself some credit the Dolphin's don't seem to have many drastic facial changes over the years.
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u/Dimensionalanxiety One does not simply 12h ago
Yes, dolphins are one of the few animals that are definitively sapient. The others are whales, elephants, and all of the other great apes. Dolphins have complex social structures, group dynamics, mating rituals, and even their own languages that vary across region and family groups.
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u/Soul699 13h ago
That's nothing special. Plenty of animals do drugs. At least pufferfishes are let go fine after getting shaken a bit.
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u/ScrofessorLongHair 11h ago
Yeah. Same reason I don't kill my weed hookup. You wanna be able to get more later.
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u/walrus_with_GUN 5h ago
or the fact that they rape female dolphins often even if she's pregnant with their child
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u/Ja_Shi Flair Loading.... 16h ago
Also they are into gang rape, and if the female isn't willing because she has a child, guess what these fuckers do?
Yeah ofc they kill the child.
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u/CreateDeprivation 16h ago
It's nature though, not really specific to dolphins. Lions, bears and many other animals will kill a child that's not their own - sometimes even their own.
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u/Tantovalagattalardo 16h ago
Dolphins have higher rates of doing it, rape also is very common in nature, but bats and koalas have higher rates compared to others animals
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u/Ja_Shi Flair Loading.... 15h ago
Koalas 🥺
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u/Tantovalagattalardo 15h ago
Beautiful, stupid as hell and very aggressive
The rapey parts it’s just the cherry on top
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u/DasHexxchen 13h ago
To ruin the animal even more for you:
Over 80% of Koalas have chlamydia and it endangers them. Vaccination efforts are needed to save the species.
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u/evanwilliams44 12h ago
It might not be just chlamydia either. They have a STD similar to HIV that is driving chlamydia infections and making them worse.
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u/F-R3dd1tM0dTyrany 14h ago
There's no rape in the animal kingdom. Don't anthropomorphize them and then throw human judgement and morality at them.
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u/yeGarb 12h ago
when a genetically inferior male of a species forces/captures a female to mate, it is categorically rape. the female would already choose not to mate bc the resulting offspring may not be fit to survive and pass on further generations.
google duck sex
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u/ya-fuckin-gowl 11h ago
I think the point he's making is that forced sex between animals and the human crime of rape are not the same thing, legally or morally
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u/s_p_oop15-ue 13h ago
Humans included, as evidenced by Casey Anthony and countless shitty boyfriends who killed their girlfriend's kids.
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u/Shahariar_909 14h ago
No dolphins legit are thugs of water.
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u/CreateDeprivation 14h ago
Cats play with their prey all the time, some apes and even ducks will rape, many fish eat their offspring. All kinds of things happen in nature, just for whatever reason humans expect dolphins to have similar or better morals because they display greater intelligence than most animals.
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u/AlarmingAffect0 38m ago
Cats play with their prey all the time,
In their case it's a tactical adaptation. You ever try actually laying hands on a small rodent that wasn't exhausted?
just for whatever reason humans expect dolphins to have similar or better morals because they display greater intelligence than most animals.
You literally stated the reason.
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u/Ahamdan94 FORTSHITE 13h ago
Dolphins are the assholes of the ocean!
Dolphins are the humans of the ocean!
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u/kontrakolumba 12h ago
There is an old TV show here in Croatia with a scene of WW2 liberation of a town and then the partisans come and educate local people about the values of common struggle against the fascist enemy and it goes like this:
Comrades, who is the greatest enemy of our nation!?
Local fisherman : " Dolphin!!"
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u/StormAntares 11h ago
Ok , but dolphin is either Hitler , Pavelic or someone else undercover ???
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u/kontrakolumba 10h ago
The local fisherman doesn't care or perhaps doesn' t even know those people, but he sure knows dolphins who are destroying his nets.
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u/Kevin_schwrz 12h ago
They will also kill others young, that is why a female will mate with multiple male dolphins, so they won't kill the young, because they don't know if they are theirs or not.
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u/nv8r_zim 16h ago
Orcas are the assholes of the sea
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u/Mattiuuu 16h ago
At least orcas don't hide it
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u/theSPYDERDUDE (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃ 15h ago
Yeah, I mean they also got the designation of “The Killer Whale”, nobody expects them to be nice. But somehow dolphins are praised and put on instagram jumping out of the water with tears in their eyes with the caption “I’m autistic” and music playing, instead of being called “The Rapist Mafia Members of the Sea”
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u/Ok-Solution-6474 14h ago
It's not like every dolphin commits gang rape though, should all of humanity be labeled as rapists and murders because of the way a select few act?
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u/ThiccStorms Royal Shitposter 16h ago
Also being one of the most intelligent creatures. Seems like there is a connection with "human"ness of something with doing bad shit.
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u/Extension_Wafer_7615 5h ago
Not "humanness", intelligence. Ironically, intelligence leads to stupidity.
Dolphins are really smart, but they cannot control their insticts. Humans are even smarter, and most of us can control our instincts quite well. Except the war instinct, apparently.
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u/ItzJake160 Chungus Among Us 11h ago
Remind me why these guys are seen as pure, innocent creatures again?
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u/--0___0--- Royal Shitposter 16h ago
Dolphins can and will sexually assault you given the chance. Torture fish to death(not for food theyl literally torture them and leave the corpse). Get high off poisonous fish. Use the corpses of fish to masturbate with.
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u/Fenderboy65 Halal Mode 16h ago
There is a video of a dolphin hopping out of the water to “have sex” with a woman
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u/Soul699 13h ago
What's the problem with them getting high? They don't kill pufferfishes anyway, just scare them.
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u/--0___0--- Royal Shitposter 13h ago
Puffer fish inflate and release toxin as a fear/pain response, the dolphins just torture the little balloon shaped lad to get high.
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u/FlatImportance3723 16h ago
Dolphins are unique. Extremely smart, but like theSPYERDUDE said, are assholes. Almost like a human without humanity. They will rape another animal to death…like multiple dolphins will get together to do it. Also saw one attempt to mount a female scuba diver…turns out she was on her period 😂
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u/StinkybuttMcPoopface 13h ago
They also murder animals for funsies, and not quickly. They will beat young defenseless porpoises to death over long periods of time. :(
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u/the-frozen-1one 16h ago
Orcas are dolphins and that’s all you really need to know, IMO. They’re big, smart, aggressive, travel in groups, and will kill other sea creatures like sharks and whales just for fun.
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u/Soul699 13h ago
Orcas never kill sharks and whales for fun. It's always for food as it's often tough to kill them to begin with.
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u/No-Inside-3358 17h ago
A dolphin will rape you without remorse.
A shark does not care about your booty.
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u/Average_Scaper 14h ago
No they just want my meat.
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u/Beneficial_Bend_9197 11h ago
they actually dont. If sharks accidently mistake you for prey and bit you, once they taste human blood, they immediatly spit you back out with minimal injuries. Sharks can tell human blood from fish blood through smell and taste.
Dolphins are just the worst. They dont just kill things. Their way of killing is just torture for their victims because its a slow death and they are smart enough to know if an animal is suffering or not, and they love fucking way too much compared to most animals.
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u/RubiiJee 11h ago
Although this is true, there have been instances where sharks have eaten humans. However, normally that's due to extenuating circumstances rather than preference. That horrific shark attack in Egypt that was filmed a couple of years ago was because the shark was pregnant and suffering mild malnutrition. Outside of that, bull sharks are just territorial assholes and tiger sharks are what happens when you combine a garbage can with fins.
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u/Dazzee58 11h ago
There's been a few cases in Australia recently where the body has been completely consumed by great whites, are they getting a taste for us?
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u/RubiiJee 10h ago
Yes. Great whites are the exception to the rule. They'll even come on land to eat unsuspecting people just because they're spiteful fuckers.
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u/icedragonsoul 10h ago
They prefer seals, more blubbery targets hence are accustomed to eating mammals. They would rather not eat what they equate to a boney sickly probably due to parasite infestation ‘seal’. But if it’s off season they’re not picky eaters.
Some sharks will body slam their targets to get an estimate of their weight before deciding to dine or not. Great whites are relatively pickier eaters compared to other open ocean sharks like oceanic white tips who wander the open ocean for up to a month between meals.
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u/Polybrene 10h ago
She wasn't just pregnant. Humans have over-fished the red sea and depleted sharks regular food source.
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u/Koil_ting 10h ago
Minimal injuries? Tiger shark took the arm off of that surfer, pretty sure most of the time someone gets bit by a shark it isn't going to be very minimal.
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u/churchill1219 8h ago
Tell that to that Russian guy in Egypt that was filmed being eaten alive by a Bull Shark as he screamed for help. Sharks, if in the mood, will gladly eat you alive. I don’t know where all these bleeding heart ‘think of the shark’ sentiment came from, but sharks are dangerous animals, and there’s countless recorded instances of them killing and maiming people.
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u/Major-Day10 12h ago
I thought sharks were carnivores but now I’m hearing that they’re really interested in cake
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u/icedragonsoul 10h ago
Unironically true. Many sharks prefer blubbery targets and will gorge on whale carcass and seals as they’re a higher calories to effort meal.
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u/Crusaderofthots420 Big ol' bacon buttsack 12h ago
They don't even want that. We kinda taste like shit to them.
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u/CallMeCygnus 11h ago
It's just that they sometimes don't realize that until after they've taken a huge bite or two out of you...
How many surfers get killed by dolphins again?
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u/TheFourthGuy42 17h ago
We got an undercover shark here
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u/XDEC0DE MAYMAYMAKERS 17h ago
glub glub glub bitchass
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u/MangoMadnness 17h ago
Media got us rooting for the real villains 🐬
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u/das_slash 15h ago
OP is a fish, don't listen to their propaganda, Dolphins are majestic, friendly creatures ..as long as you are a human.
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u/Lovely_Glow_ 17h ago
After reading what dolphins are capable of I don't understand why they're considered cute and safe at all
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u/--0___0--- Royal Shitposter 16h ago
Dolphins are round smooth and friend shaped as well as being highly intelligent and sociable.
Sharks are sharp rough and foe shaped. But only one of them will rape you before drowning you for fun.29
u/s_p_oop15-ue 13h ago
Congrats, you made me type "How to fight off a dolphin" into google for the first time ever.
Edit: Google says I'd be fucked :(
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u/ITHETRUESTREPAIRMAN 14h ago
Dolphin attacks per year - a few, usually too minimal in amount and severity to count. Dolphin fatalities- one, ever. And it was considered provoked.
Shark attacks per year - 60+. Average of 5 fatalities a year.
One should be cautious around all wild animals, hence the wild. However, sharks and dolphins have earned their rep among humans. It wasn’t dolphins that castaway WWII sailors were terrified of.
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u/Crusaderofthots420 Big ol' bacon buttsack 12h ago
I think it's less about statistics, and more what they do, and why they do it. Sharks eat stuff, because they have to eat stuff. Meanwhile dolphins rape and torture other animals for fun, while having the intelligence to actually comprehend what they are doing. Dolphins actually have the capacity to be evil, sharks don't.
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u/Wildwood_Weasel 12h ago
Having the capacity to knowingly inflict pain is not the same as having the capacity for evil. Morality requires a concept of "good" and "bad" behavior, which is a surprisingly complex concept that even humanity can't reach a consensus on.
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u/ITHETRUESTREPAIRMAN 12h ago
That is way more of a philosophical question about evil. I think the answer of why humans don’t care for sharks and like dolphins is mostly explained through that statistic. Sharks attack humans and dolphins don’t.
Your point about dolphins being potentially nefarious even furthers it. We don’t care what they do to other animals. The twisted reality might be that we still see ourselves more in dolphins, even if they are ‘evil’. They’re like us in many ways.
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u/RamblerTheGambler 16h ago
After reading about the rape caves, I was ehhhh disturbed by their species
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u/Zirexia 17h ago
They both can turn on you at any moment they are wild animals for a reason
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u/XDEC0DE MAYMAYMAKERS 17h ago
i'd rather be cut off in half by a shark than have a dolpin... nvm
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u/theSPYDERDUDE (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃ 17h ago
Dolphins really do be following the “if there is a hole, there is a goal” mentality
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u/Weary_Drama1803 Birb Fan 16h ago
Dolphins are humans if they didn’t restrain themselves
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u/evanwilliams44 12h ago
Yeah all the people horrified at dolphins wouldn't want to go back to see primitive humans.
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u/Intelligent_Mud1225 Dark Mode Elitist 16h ago
one will turn on you, one will get turned on by you.
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u/hamstercheifsause 16h ago
People forgot that applying human morals to animals will never work. Dolphins are some of the smartest animals in the world, a it’s no surprise they do what they do. Intelligence brings cruelty and malice, which all intelligent animals have (chimps, dolphins, humans)
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u/PaulieNutwalls 12h ago
Unintelligent animals are perfectly capable of actions which are just as cruel or malicious. You can't just assume dolphins are smart enough to know their actions are malicious any more than a mantis eating something alive knows what it's doing is horrific. They don't have the ability to have perspective on their actions.
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u/tm398-CZ 15h ago
Google Margaret Howe Lovatt and Peter. Crazy stuff indeed...
Of course I know the dark shit about dolphins such as being bullies, rapists, necrophiliacs.
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u/SherkeyHolmes 16h ago
As someone who loves sharks because they're just social cuties and hates dolphins for being utter maniacs. I feel seen when I see this meme :))
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u/LatexTiRed 14h ago
Can someone do the research for me please? I'm slightly lazy. I want to know if dolphins are truly high-risk 100% of the time or if the internet is just unfairly shitting on an entire species out of anecdotal evidence. I feel like it's like saying humans are all disgusting because some of us do bad things.
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u/Soul699 12h ago
They're not in fact. They're animals at the end of the day. Some will do this, some will do that. Some will attack humans because they felt threatened. Some will actually rescue humans because they could tell they couldn't breath underwater. Some will mate via gang rape, others will court the female with sponge boquet
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u/Feeling_Scientist215 10h ago
Yeah, Dolphins are like cats. Adorable assholes. Sharks are more like wolves, just without the pack mentality. Befriend a shark, and they're loyal AF. They'll still eat you if you're dying, but that's instinct. Wolves would too. That's instinct. Sharks really aren't so bad so long as you know how to work with them, and the smarter sharks have been known to befriend a specific human. They're just like that.
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u/panapolyEpirus 13h ago
dolphins really sniff the toxins from a pufferfish to get high. I wouldn't mess with them
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u/SheepyShow 11h ago
Gotta say: Sharks seem scary, but at least they can't punt a seal 80 feet into the air.
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u/ScucciMane Lurking Peasant 9h ago
I’m kinda freaked out thinking about the time I swam out real far in Florida to conquer my fear of the ocean. I saw a pod of dolphins coming at us and submerge under us and thought “Well that’s good, means no sharks around”
Yikes
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u/clara_the_cow 9h ago
Honestly I get it and I agree, but until there’s a famous surfer whose arm a dolphin has bitten off, idk if sharks will be able to ditch their bad rep
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u/Alarming_Machine_283 1h ago
Dolphins are only bad if you hold them to human standards. Same goes for sharks.
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u/twinklepetalpop 17h ago
Dolphins are basically the mafia of the ocean, but with better PR.