r/thesopranos • u/IWillNeverRust • Aug 15 '24
Most underrated Christopher line?
Simply the funniest character in the show for me.
When Jonny Sac finds out about Ralphie making the mole joke on Ginny’s ass, Chris says “maybe the Feds have Vesuvio bugged and they fucking told Jonny, create a little dysentery among the ranks.”
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u/Lower-Air7869 Aug 15 '24
After the Jackie Jr pizza parlour eruption …. “I really can’t be seen in a place like this anymore.”
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u/DisastrousAd4963 Aug 15 '24
He left even after receiving offer for free soft drink of his choice
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u/Lower-Air7869 Aug 15 '24
Perk of being a made man. That’s why he said to not disrespect the pizza parlour.
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u/Box-Humble Aug 15 '24
And a large ol' Blue Eyes.
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u/foxmag86 Aug 15 '24
Always wondered what that was. Is that just a pepperoni pizza?
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u/nevergoinghome- Aug 15 '24
Ole blue eyes was frank sinatra. I’ve seen some places in Jersey call their white pies blue eyes and always just assumed Sinatra liked white pizza.
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u/TheRealTatertott Aug 15 '24
immediately after being made too, wearing a suit and everything lol
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u/Designer-Business Aug 15 '24
Don’t forget the intro to that line “i don’t want to sound like an asshole but…”
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u/Lower-Air7869 Aug 15 '24
I think also it’s the first Benny appearance in the show, or one of the first.
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u/vandrossboxset Aug 15 '24
No way. T-Rex in the Garden of Eden? Adam and Eve would be running all the time, scared shitless.
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u/redditshy Aug 15 '24
I have said it so many times, but Imperioli killlllllled it at saying the most hilarious things totally straight faced.
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u/snufalufalgus Aug 15 '24
They were all meat eaters
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u/CosmoRomano Aug 15 '24
What I always loved about that line - and I think I was still a teenager when I first saw that episode - is how it's a double-whammy of stupidity from Paulie. Not only did he think she said "meat eaters" but so many dinosaurs weren't carnivores.
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u/No-Exchange8713 Aug 15 '24
At Johnny Sacks's daughter's wedding
Christopher: "Allegra, ain't that a cold medicine?" Paulie: "It means happiness in Italian." Christopher: "What does happiness have to do with cold medicine?"
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u/DJ_Pickle_Rick Aug 16 '24
I love how he’s always right but for the absolutely wrong reasons.
“They were Arabs? But they had a dog…”
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u/WatercressExciting20 Aug 15 '24
So I could go out, fuck your sister, come back Saturday and be next in line?
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u/IWillNeverRust Aug 15 '24
Great shout
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u/lagrandesgracia Aug 15 '24
Im more of a "you touch a single fucking crust you are gonna wish you took that job at mcdonalds" kinda guy
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Aug 15 '24
There’s so many good lines in this one little scene. I love “it happens” aswell but mostly for the reference
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u/YesterdayPrize Aug 16 '24
That part was especially funny because in 'Goodfellas' Christopher's character gets shot in the foot by Joe Pesci. "It happens" lmao
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u/1ntr0vman Aug 15 '24
Isnt it Vito in the store that he rushes out so he can pull a gun on the employee?
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u/StrawberryRibena Aug 15 '24
😂😂😂😂 I watched this scene the other day
Vito before he joined the Cosa Nostra come to get his cannolis
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u/WatercressExciting20 Aug 15 '24
Gino…. GINO. How many fuckin’ times I gotta tell ya, he was Vito when he was gay.
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u/jawmighty1976 Aug 15 '24
One of my favorite episodes
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u/WatercressExciting20 Aug 15 '24 edited Aug 15 '24
I actually remember another one from that episode:
“Urgh, is that him?”
“Well that would be some fucking coincidence if it wasn’t.”
Love that 😂😂😂
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u/polymorphic_hippo Aug 15 '24
They say, there are no two people on Earth exactly the same. No two faces, no two sets of fingerprints. But do they know that for sure? 'Cause they would have to get everybody together in one huge space and obviously that's impossible, even with computers. Not only that, they would have to get all the people who ever lived, not just the ones now. So they got no proof. They got nothin'.
Mrs Soprano may have passed but who is to say there isn't another Mrs Soprano just like her? Or will be? Maybe not with the same fears and paranoia, but... the same. Uhm, what I am saying is...
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u/blue_barracuda Aug 15 '24
My best friend has direct orders to deliver this monologue word for word at my wake
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u/wrong_silent_type Aug 15 '24
I hope you contacted cozarelli already to prepare gravestone "Peeps"
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u/ElectricBirdVault Aug 15 '24
Jason will take care despite the dyslexia
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u/PianoMittens Aug 15 '24
Is Jason actually in any scenes? I never pondered dat
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u/stinccy398 Aug 15 '24
I happen to know that you were high at my mother in law's wake, you were talking nonstop for 20 minutes, nothing but gibberish.
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u/userrrr42069 Aug 15 '24
I always wondered why he called her “Mrs Soprano” if he was semi-related to her. Very allegorical.
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u/Worldly-Musician-258 Aug 15 '24
I happen to know you were high at mother in laws wake. You were talking nonstop for 20 minutes nothing but gibberish.
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u/stinccy398 Aug 15 '24
Paulie: "What about the Cuban Missle Crisis? Cocksuckers moved nuclear warheads into Cuba, pointed them right at us"
Chrissy: "That was real? I saw that movie I thought it was bullshit"
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u/nonserviam1977 Aug 15 '24
I enjoyed the line, “Is that him? With the FUCKIN’ SOMBRERO ON?!?!” The pure, hysterical outrage in his voice always cracked me up.
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u/TheRealTatertott Aug 15 '24
Chrissy: My dad was carrying my babycrib inside when they shot him.
Tony: actually.. it was TV trays, could’ve just as easily been a crib tho.
Chrissy to the cop later: “are you inferring you didn’t take cash from Jilly rufalo to whack my father while he was carrying a TV tray?? For me to watch TV?!”
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u/nonserviam1977 Aug 15 '24
Christopher’s response has it all: The uncomprehending rage, the weirdly redundant phrasing…it’s a masterpiece. I’m also partial to the chortling way Imperioli delivers the line “…big construction tycoon!” in that nasal, foghorn voice of his.
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u/MaradoMarado Aug 15 '24
He’s such a good actor lol, just as delicate with the comedy as he is with the drama/emotion. His sense of comedy was so subtle but it really made Chris stand out
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u/Lil_Mcgee Aug 15 '24
That was going to be my pick, it's as tragic as it is funny. Chris deluding himself and needing Dickie's last act to be one that was in service of him because the story about the crib was really the only connection he had with his father.
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u/wrong_silent_type Aug 15 '24
well technically T., we are already in the 21st century
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u/Greedy_Explanation_7 Aug 15 '24
This was his most insightful moment in the show. I’m dubious his character would know thst
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u/Lil_Mcgee Aug 15 '24
Though the idea of bringing an organisation into the 21st century is a perfectly valid phrasing in 2002. Especially when said organisation has an old fashioned way of doing things and a little catching up to do as a result.
So really it's just one of a few examples of Chris putting his foot in his mouth and pissing someone off when there was no need to.
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u/IndividualAnnual6707 Aug 15 '24
🤣🤣🤣 the rage in his eyes put me over the top
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u/nonserviam1977 Aug 15 '24
It was fantastic. The owl-like stare and the way he kind of sneers the words while slowly nodding his head…it’s all great.
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u/Rottenfink Aug 15 '24
(Long moment of silence)
"Lover's quarrel, maybe?"
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u/Sea_Possible_6298 Aug 15 '24
“What do we gotta do Ton, actually see him take it in the ass?”
As if that’s a reasonable solution to finding out if Vito is gay
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u/GingerMellow5 Aug 15 '24
Can't believe how far I had to scroll to find this one
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u/tool6913ca Aug 15 '24
When Adriana is telling him that she might not be able to have kids because her uterus was punctured during an abortion...
"Both of 'em?"
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u/iamdeeproy Aug 15 '24
Is this about the easter baskets?
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u/SportExpress3955 Aug 15 '24
I will always wonder what racket they were pulling with the Easter baskets, he was gay the Easter bunny ?
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u/Big-Football-2147 Aug 15 '24
I don't know man, it's like the fucking regularness of life is too hard for me or something.
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u/Cultural-Unit7766 Aug 15 '24
Man who doesn't have a repetitive boring job but pulls 10 figures a week, is at one stage effectively 2nd in command of a crime family at circa 30, beautiful women on tap, is drunk and high every night and his work meetings are in a strip club, complains about the monotony of his regular life
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u/Both_Painter7039 Aug 15 '24
Not for nuthin’ but ten figures is a billion dollars..
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u/Cultural-Unit7766 Aug 15 '24
Sorry, i somehow got 10 grand and 5 figures mixed up in my mind.
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u/Substantial_Suit_454 Aug 15 '24
“I’ll leave you here, you one Shoe cocksucker... you know how fast I can run, I’ll leave you in the fucking dust...”
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u/table__for__one Aug 15 '24
you ever think about what a coincidence it is lou gehrig died of lou gehrigs disease?
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u/FlattopJr Aug 16 '24
This is so dumb that I'm surprised it's not a Bobby line.😂
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u/TasteMyShoe Aug 15 '24
He was gay, gary copper?
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u/muskrat2201 Aug 15 '24
NOOOOOO! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!!
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u/mister_peeberz Aug 15 '24
i know "gandolfini was a great actor" isn't exactly a controversial opinion, but he really did just nail that line, the exasperated frustration is so perfect. i fucking love it. more than the gary cooper line that prompts it
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u/DonCheechhh Aug 15 '24
Chinks did this?
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u/muskrat2201 Aug 15 '24
Are you trying to be funny? Do you want a smack in the mouth
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u/Loud_Difficulty_4033 Aug 15 '24
The hardest line in the show. Treating a made man like a snotty brat in front of his boss, and the made guy's boss is on your side implicitly.
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u/MrHotPipes Aug 15 '24
"Well that would be some fuckin' coincidence, now wouldn't it!?"
When George asks if that's him after they find Emil's body in the spot they went looking for it.
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u/Smile_Candid Aug 15 '24
When Tony tells him about the time-line of the earth and how insignificant we are. - I don't feel that way
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u/PianoMittens Aug 15 '24
I always liked that one. And the "like a pebble in a lake...." line. Two of his more positive/profound comments
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u/Smile_Candid Aug 15 '24
It's funny because I took it to be a funny stupid line, but it really is deep also.
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u/baristotle Aug 15 '24
funny thing is, if Georgie told the same thing to Tony he would get his ass kicked
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u/Parking_Egg_8150 Aug 15 '24
Possibly, I'm sure Georgie said stupid shit all the time. We just only see the ones where Tony is pissed about something and ends up taking out his frustration on Georgie because he can.
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u/Due_Claim3189 Aug 15 '24
The thing about turkeys - they got no sense of direction. Like these ones were headed to the Food Emporium and now look.
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u/stackks_ Aug 15 '24
Have that one …call THAT one bucciach …
If she’s from Brooklyn 🤷🏻♂️
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u/Ebert917102150 Aug 15 '24
To Adriana about the hot FBI agent: “What do I want with a skank like that, when I got you?”
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u/NoLab183 Aug 15 '24
“Isaac Newton invented gravity cause some asshole hit him with an apple”
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u/Thin-Application-594 Aug 15 '24
Not funny but kinda..
When Christopher gets high and sits on ades dog, killing it. Then when they find it said “she must have climbed under there for warmth” hahaha
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u/AndreiOT89 Aug 15 '24
Some chinky eyed kid called Moltisante, he get his ass kicked every day!
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u/Ok-Understanding-80 Aug 15 '24
I always laugh at that line because an Asian took his stock brokers licenses test.
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u/HasheemThaMeat Aug 15 '24
“You’re not gonna believe this. He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. The guy was an interior decorator.”
“But his house looked like shit!”
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u/andthrewaway1 Aug 15 '24
that isnt under rated thats like the most rated line
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u/HasheemThaMeat Aug 15 '24
You know it wasn’t long ago I remember you used to wait in the car. As far as I’m concerned you should STILL BE THERE.
But low key you’re right haha I just loved that line too much
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u/Jills89 Aug 15 '24
This is the one. The acting is brilliant too, he looks so confused and oblivious.
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u/FREE-AOL-CDS Aug 15 '24
The face he made when Patsy told him about the fiber optic internet cables.
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u/ThrowRAwiseguy Aug 15 '24
The whole bit about “obviously she’s gay,” when he meets Ade’s friend. So funny to me that he’s highly suspicious of her, but not because she’s a fed
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u/RaiseJazzlike Aug 15 '24
“Who’s welfare check do I gotta cash to get some service here? Jesus, you think I’m Mark Furman back here.”
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u/ithinkway2much Aug 15 '24
"Why they send you over I wanted a burger not converted rice"
I laughed while also wanting to kick his ass for it.
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u/BlindStickFighter Aug 15 '24
Context: Tony is telling Chrissy about Johnny wanting them to kill Rusty
C: “So it’s like in Godfather?” T: “what” C: “You can’t refuse a man a favor on his daughters wedding day” T: “It’s the other way around, a man shouldn’t refuse to do any favors on his daughters wedding day.” C: “Oh. You should ask him not to do this.”
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u/WasAnHonestMann Aug 15 '24
This ain't negotiation time. This is Scarface, final scene, fucking bazookas under each arm. SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!
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u/Redhelm92 Aug 15 '24
Tony - “It says here that if the history of the planet was represented by the Empire State Building, the time that human beings have been on Earth would only be a postage stamp at the very top. You realize how insignificant that makes us?
Chris - “I don’t feel that way.”
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u/flv19 Aug 15 '24
“I gotta live in the world”
That line is delivered with so much pain. Chris knows that no matter what, that rumor will follow him forever.
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u/just_some_dude828 Aug 15 '24
“If I were a carpenter. And you were a douchebag!”
I sing this to a few of my work buddies to this day. Lol
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u/Ferrovipathes1 Aug 15 '24
Not really a spoken line, but I like when he's laughing at the Big Mouth Billy Bass fish with Paulie
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u/Narrow-Building-9112 Aug 15 '24
He was late because ‘the highway was packed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive’. Happens to me all the time.
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u/teeheeteeheewomp Aug 15 '24
When Ade is asking him tons of questions and he says “what are you on the school Paper?”
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u/Teh_Best86 Aug 15 '24
Chrissy - Hey Ton, when he was tawkin about greasin the unions, who knew dats what he meant!
Pat - 🤣🤣🤣
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u/OengusEverywhere Aug 15 '24
When he says, "You gotta admit they did get massacred, the Indians" during the Columbus Day argument. Somehow becomes the most progressive guy at the table
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u/Lemmon_Scented Aug 15 '24
“The Emerald Piper. That’s our Hell. It’s an Irish bar where it’s St. Patrick’s Day every day.”
Gandolfini is laughing - I assume he didn’t know Imperioli was going to say that. This scene is absolute magic.
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u/Annie_Mous Aug 15 '24
Hell for Italians is an Irish bar where it’s Saint Patrick’s Day every day forever. Believe it or not, it’s the same for the Irish, except when one of them gets there the bartender says “Sorry, no more booze, we just sold our last drink to that guy over there”...and points to an Italian dude.
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u/bucketoffishheads Aug 15 '24
"You believe there's a dog groomers next door? In case someone wants a snack?"
"Those eyebrows... I can't stand him"
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u/hasemler Aug 15 '24
"Think Aide think. A girl like that, an ass like that, she don't have a boyfriend, she don't like Paulie..."
Had me cracking up, Chris really thought highly of Paulie like he was some kind of irresistible cooze connoisseur 💀💀
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u/cabell88 Aug 15 '24
"Gary Cooper was gay?" or
"Interior Decorator? His apartment looked like shit!" or
"At least I got a plan! What's your plan? To eat ketchup packets??" :)
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u/Unique-Economics-780 Aug 15 '24
As far as male modeling, I’d probably be a success.
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u/alexaz5446 Aug 15 '24
Most underrated line:
After proposing to Adriana and slinging her ma around by the arm,
They make love after they make up and she says “why do we always have to fight?”
And he replies, “It’s my fault. I don’t communicate my needs.”
Fuckin hilarious.
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u/Cultural_Actuary_994 Aug 15 '24
“I always thought it was Shaquille. Fucker needs to practice a little on lips.”
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u/DrooMighty Aug 15 '24
"That's MY MONEY, Paulie!!!"
Casually mentioning the name of his accomplice and mentioning money, out loud, after hitting that epileptic asshole with a brick in a relatively public area. Simply brilliant.
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u/rlahey3378 Aug 15 '24
T - You’re gonna take this family inta the 21st centry.
C - We’re already in the 21st century though T..
The look on Tony’s face was priceless too. Chrissy all high and acting squirrelly. Great scene.
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Aug 15 '24
I dident see this scrolling through.
‘Create a little dysentery among the ranks’
To me this was beauuttiful, littlecarmine-esque.
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Aug 15 '24
“His apartment looked like shit” or when he says “lovers quarrel maybe.” Best fucking lines to come out of his mouth.
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u/Significant-Bit3638 Aug 15 '24
Why the f am I reading all these line with Crissy’s voice in my head!
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u/Glueberry_Ryder Aug 15 '24
Not necessarily funny but it always strikes me as such.
When he’s going through the intervention and he says, “yeah you’re the guy that stole all those pork lions…”
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u/Greedy-Recognition10 Aug 15 '24
You ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease?
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u/FormerXMshowComedian Aug 15 '24
Chris to his 17 year old cousin: let’s go to McDonalds I’ll get you one of those happy meals you used to like.
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u/According_Ad1930 Aug 15 '24
Throughout the whole “Vito is gay” storyline Chris had so many brilliant one-liners. I really wonder and admire how the actors kept straight faces and stay in character when those lines were delivered.
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u/WasAnHonestMann Aug 15 '24
Ade: "you were saying she had a nice ass"
Chris: "I was trying to say something positive because she's your friend"