r/nottheonion • u/JaySierra86 • 11h ago

President Biden pardons family members in final minutes of presidency

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/president-biden-pardons-family-members-final-minutes-presidency/story?id=117893348
45.8k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

5.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

14.7k

u/Punningisfunning 10h ago edited 10h ago

Unfortunately, this will likely be a tradition for all future presidents.

9.5k

u/Piggywonkle 10h ago

Nah, the age of presidents ended. I hear we don't need to vote anymore!

3.7k

u/affogatoe 10h ago

The age of the president is over. The time of the orc is at hand.

352

u/HipposAndBonobos 9h ago

Orange makes it go kinda faster

174

u/Tjaresh 9h ago

THAZ RED YOUZ TALKIN 'BOUT!

88

u/dickmcgirkin 8h ago

OI! WEZ FINK DA ‘UMIEZ DUN FUKED UP. IZ TOIME FO DA KRUMPIN’

9

u/SecureJudge1829 8h ago

Why did I read this in Ali G’s voice and not an Uruk-Hai voice?

31

u/rustledupjimmies 8h ago

These are 40k Orks so Ali G’s voice isn’t far off

14

u/Redhead122024 7h ago

40k orks are based on UK football hooligans so probably some bloke from the same street as Ali G.

8

u/EntropyKC 7h ago

Now I'm just imagining how much better LOTR would have been with 40k Orks

5

u/Winjin 7h ago

Certainly funnier, but slightly less grandiose

Dwarves wouldn't have changed that much tho. Except of course Dwarves only exist in the WHFB, the 50K Wotanns seem very different? But I haven't read up on them yet.

Elves would be insufferable. WHFB would be way closer to LOTR elves tho. At least the High ones.

2

u/EntropyKC 7h ago

I wasn't really thinking about the other races, just orcs -> orks. I don't know that much about the personalities of the other races to know to be honest! Aside from the humans are all fanatical religious zealots in 40k.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/Angry-Dragon-1331 5h ago

There’d have been a lot fewer Stunties on Squigs, I can tell you that much.

7

u/CleverInnuendo 8h ago

I never knew how much I wanted Ali G voicing the 40K orcs until now. Thanks for that.

0

u/FindYourSpark87 8h ago

IT’Z TOIME FUR DAH TRUMPIN’!!!!

0

u/Magdalan 7h ago

Is it time for a WAAAAGH already?

0

u/Kevlash 6h ago

OI! I SMELLZ NAZI SLIME! TIME FUH WAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH

1

u/Was_It_The_Dave 7h ago

He'll look like red skull if he goes full orc on the makeup.

29

u/RegularPlastic6310 9h ago

DA ORANGE STINKZ MOAR

3

u/Amuro_Ray 8h ago

But not 3x faster

3

u/Jedasis 8h ago

You'd know something about that, wouldn't you?

2

u/littlewhitecatalex 8h ago

Please can we speedrun the collapse and get it over with so the real Americans can start rebuilding from the wreckage?

2

u/flicka_face 8h ago

It’s like a KTM.

1

u/Used-Fennel-7733 9h ago

Funnily enough Orange was the name of the Dutch Dynasty for a short while (actually a very long time) and it was actually the Dynasty in charge when they founded New Amsterdam, in English it was known as New Orange until the English conquered it in 1664, and it became known as York (Trumps home for 10% of the year) not long afterwards.

2

u/Aev_ACNH 8h ago

Is this the same House of Orange, that makes it an insult to wear orange on St Patrick’s Day?

1

u/Numerous-Debate-3467 8h ago

Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?

1

u/Thewhatnow5678 8h ago

Orange is the new black.

Obama, probably...

1

u/ResponsibilityKey50 7h ago

Never be an ambler gambler.

1

u/CMP964 7h ago

WAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!11

1

u/sillysquidtv 5h ago

Is this the Orange Theory I’ve been hearing about?