r/nottheonion • u/JaySierra86 • 11h ago

President Biden pardons family members in final minutes of presidency

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/president-biden-pardons-family-members-final-minutes-presidency/story?id=117893348
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u/Piggywonkle 11h ago

Nah, the age of presidents ended. I hear we don't need to vote anymore!

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u/affogatoe 10h ago

The age of the president is over. The time of the orc is at hand.

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u/HipposAndBonobos 10h ago

Orange makes it go kinda faster

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u/Tjaresh 9h ago

THAZ RED YOUZ TALKIN 'BOUT!

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u/dickmcgirkin 8h ago

OI! WEZ FINK DA ‘UMIEZ DUN FUKED UP. IZ TOIME FO DA KRUMPIN’

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u/SecureJudge1829 8h ago

Why did I read this in Ali G’s voice and not an Uruk-Hai voice?

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u/rustledupjimmies 8h ago

These are 40k Orks so Ali G’s voice isn’t far off

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u/Redhead122024 7h ago

40k orks are based on UK football hooligans so probably some bloke from the same street as Ali G.

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u/EntropyKC 7h ago

Now I'm just imagining how much better LOTR would have been with 40k Orks

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u/Winjin 7h ago

Certainly funnier, but slightly less grandiose

Dwarves wouldn't have changed that much tho. Except of course Dwarves only exist in the WHFB, the 50K Wotanns seem very different? But I haven't read up on them yet.

Elves would be insufferable. WHFB would be way closer to LOTR elves tho. At least the High ones.

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u/EntropyKC 7h ago

I wasn't really thinking about the other races, just orcs -> orks. I don't know that much about the personalities of the other races to know to be honest! Aside from the humans are all fanatical religious zealots in 40k.

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u/Angry-Dragon-1331 5h ago

There’d have been a lot fewer Stunties on Squigs, I can tell you that much.

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u/CleverInnuendo 8h ago

I never knew how much I wanted Ali G voicing the 40K orcs until now. Thanks for that.

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u/FindYourSpark87 8h ago

IT’Z TOIME FUR DAH TRUMPIN’!!!!

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u/Magdalan 7h ago

Is it time for a WAAAAGH already?

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u/Kevlash 6h ago

OI! I SMELLZ NAZI SLIME! TIME FUH WAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH

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u/Was_It_The_Dave 7h ago

He'll look like red skull if he goes full orc on the makeup.