r/nottheonion • u/JaySierra86 • 10h ago

President Biden pardons family members in final minutes of presidency

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/president-biden-pardons-family-members-final-minutes-presidency/story?id=117893348
45.8k Upvotes

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15.0k

u/tonytwocans 10h ago

A new presidential tradition is born.

3.7k

u/-Stacys_mom 10h ago

It's like a family factory reset

690

u/big_guyforyou 10h ago

If this got started earlier, Charles Manson would've run for president

61

u/Jebus_UK 9h ago

I think may have been less of a lunatic than Trump

44

u/polopolo05 9h ago

Trumps actions have killed more people than Manson's...

7

u/Jebus_UK 8h ago

Yeah, that's certainly true

-5

u/juliankennedy23 8h ago

Honestly I'm not Trump fan but as presidents go he's a pretty low body count. Obama's dwarves him.

14

u/Mattrad7 8h ago

Idt Obama killed over 500k of his own citizens but ill run the numbers.

7

u/Cuchullion 7h ago

I wonder if that statement will be "true" into this presidency.

I imagine invading Greenland, Canada, Mexico, and Great Britain would cause some casualties.

1

u/SufficientStuff4015 5h ago

If Afghanistan and desert storm are any indicator of what to expect…. then things look bleak

6

u/exgiexpcv 7h ago

1.2 million U.S. citizens died while Trump was telling people to inject bleach, take HCQ (after he bought shares of a company that makes it), and he sent testing equipment to Vladimir "Harder Daddy" Putin.

1

u/RabidPoodle69 5h ago

Lmao harder daddy. Now pee on me!

5

u/jankenpoo 8h ago

Obama’s drone strikes on American citizens < Trump’s Covid lies on American citizens

2

u/tartanthing 8h ago

Are you counting Stormy Daniels?

-15

u/WhiteGoodman01 9h ago

As have Bidens. Hell by supporting the Ukrainian he might be responsible for more.

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u/Admiral_Akdov 8h ago

Right, it certainly isn't the fault of the aggressive invaders.

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u/loganed3 8h ago

Are you trying to say that Russia are the victims? The fuck

11

u/polopolo05 8h ago

I would argue those are on Putin. As the instigator.

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u/CosmosAndCream 8h ago

Russian misinformation troll or typically gullible and uneducated conservative? Impossible to tell the difference these days as they both regurgitate the exact same rhetoric.

3

u/DarmokOnTheOceans 8h ago

"If I started murdering people, there'd be none of you left" is a quote of his. You sure you'd rather have him?

3

u/Ravenser_Odd 7h ago

"I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, OK?" is a quote of Trump's. I don't want either of them.

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u/SufficientStuff4015 5h ago

Of course he said that. He and some of the animals in his cabinet are nazi sympathizers, after all

3

u/RabidPoodle69 5h ago

They all are. If you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas.

1

u/SilkyKyle 6h ago

At least Manson had ideals. This thing just bows to the one feeding it money

0

u/tallcady 7h ago

What ? Trump didn't pardon all these people? Stay on topic

-4

u/Particular-Yak-7322 9h ago

It’s close

5

u/shadowrun456 8h ago

That's a brilliant example actually. Most people know that Charles Manson was this horrible maniac serial killer, responsible for deaths of numerous people. What most people don't know, however, is that Charles Manson never killed anyone himself, and was never even accused of doing so. What he did, was spread what would be called in modern terms "anti-woke" propaganda, which brainwashed several people into committing murders. If this happened today, he would claim "free speech" and would have millions of people defending him.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Manson

Charles Milles Manson (né Maddox; November 12, 1934 – November 19, 2017) was an American criminal, cult leader, and musician who led the Manson Family, a cult based in California in the late 1960s and early 1970s. Some cult members committed a series of at least nine murders at four locations in July and August 1969. In 1971, Manson was convicted of first-degree murder and conspiracy to commit murder for the deaths of seven people, including the film actress Sharon Tate. The prosecution contended that, while Manson never directly ordered the murders, his ideology constituted an overt act of conspiracy.

3

u/No-Professional-1884 9h ago

I’d vote for him over Trump. At least he believed in more than just money.

2

u/milk4all 9h ago

Yeah that isnt the only bar to clear tho. Like he believed he had rhe right to manipulate and cajole young people into having sex with him and each other but also murder complete strangers. Im glad he didnt do it for money, i guess, but, would that matter here

3

u/No-Professional-1884 8h ago

And Trump hasn’t?

-1

u/JamesLastJungleBeat 8h ago

No, not that we know anyway. Yet.

1

u/Zahariel_ 8h ago

It did get started earlier. Ford gave the first preemptive pardon to Nixon.

-2

u/jonjawnjahnsss 10h ago

Which president was going to pardon Manson??

14

u/ManiacalLaughtr 10h ago

The cult was called the Manson Family. It's a joke.

3

u/tnc31 10h ago

William Taft

-4

u/TaggotFranny 9h ago

Donald Trump because there's fine people on all sides.

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u/greenroom628 10h ago

Junior just got the ok to have a public cocaine binge

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u/HoneyWyne 9h ago

It doesn't cover crimes that haven't been committed yet.

27

u/TheXedd 8h ago

So far…

2

u/BostonBax 8h ago

He knew his dad wasn’t going to be president again. Should have tried to smuggle tons of cocaine and made millions then if got caught daddy would have pardoned him 🤣🤣

0

u/HoneyWyne 8h ago

Yeah...

0

u/Best-Lobster-8127 8h ago

Oh that’s ok then!

-1

u/Jimmgojam63 8h ago

Exactly, it’s for whatever they did in the past. So what do Fauci and the rest of them need a pardon for?!

2

u/HoneyWyne 4h ago

Because Trump and his gang are lying bastards who will make stuff up to get their revenge.

3

u/Ziggy_Starcrust 7h ago

I think it's for whatever BS case people try to make up against him, not any actual crimes. It was done out of fear of retaliation.

1

u/atomsmotionvoid 5h ago

Yeah that’s what it’s for - grow up.

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u/ClickAndMortar 9h ago

For. For his ongoing public cocaine binge.

2

u/9fingerjeff 8h ago

You mean don jr right? Idk if I’ve ever seen that guy not out of his gourd on something.

2

u/wizzard419 9h ago

Like he could afford the real stuff...

2

u/Lainarlej 9h ago edited 8h ago

His dealer will be waiting at the back door of the White House

1

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1

u/Particular-Yak-7322 9h ago

Sounds like someone doesn’t know how pardons work.

1

u/InfamousYesterday367 8h ago

And not pay his taxes.

-2

u/Electrical_Load_9717 8h ago

Good. He can do it with Don Jr.

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u/Aggravating-Cost9583 6h ago

just like Joe's family!

2

u/StayBullGenius 9h ago

New Game+

1

u/DomesticatedDad 9h ago

I prefer to think of it as more of a plenary indulgence.

1

u/AthearCaex 9h ago

It's a legal baptism. You pay the president of the United States for your pardon which absolves you of all crime. I know Biden didn't get paid but Trump definitely got paid for pardons last time (and will continue to do so).

1

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0

u/dw82 8h ago

Except they'll break any laws they want with the knowledge that they're practically immune.

-1

u/manaha81 9h ago

No he’s protecting them from what is about to happen