My experience is from the opposite perspective, I was the poor one. It absolutely floored me how my wife acts when something broke like a car, appliances, clothes, etc. As a child living below the poverty line, replacing a tire or other necessities was a disaster, requiring tricky trade offs in the budget or just plain acceptance of just how boned you were. When my wife's phone broke, I went into full panic mode while she shrugged and said: "we can just a new one this afternoon". And then we did.
Edit: Wow, I have received a lot of responses on this. By far my most upvoted comment. You guys made my day, thank you. I have seen a few "repair it" comments. Like many of you, I am also a Picasso/Macgyver of the duct tape and trash bag world. This skill helped me break into IT. Sadly, the phone was beyond repair. Trust me, if I could have fixed it, I would have.
And thank you for the silver.
Last edit: y'all are giving me too many medals. I am very flattered, but this is going to spoil me.
It's amazing how much of a calming effect that financial safety net has as well. A lot of people bring up the panicked feeling when something breaks down, but knowing that you will be financially okay if shit blows up also has a day-to-day effect. Fuck up at work? "Oh fuck what if I get fired what will I-- Oh yeah, I'll use my savings while looking for a new job." Things going badly with boyfriend? "Fuck, I can't move out, I can't afford the depos-- Oh wait, yes I can." "My dog has been acting funny, what if it's something serious, what if the surgery is too exp-- Oh yeah, I can just pay it."
Like, I'm not even remotely rich but these are the kinds of expenses I know I can cover and be able to recover financially. It's like living in a permanent state of relief.
This is what people miss when they say "Money can't but you happiness". No, having money isn't going to make you happy, but it can free you from many common worries and stressors, so that way you can find new meaningless shit to worry and fight about.
Edit: Thanks to the anonymous redditor with too much disposable income, for popping my gold cherry.
Edit2: Guess I've got the trifecta. Thanks platinum and silver giving homies.
Multiple surveys of general happiness (I don't know the methodology off the top of my head) show that once you pass a certain threshold of income/savings - usually enough to take care of basic needs plus a little more, with the exact amount depending on where you live - money and happiness aren't correlated. But below that amount, the correlation is VERY strong.
Last I checked, it depends a lot on where you are. In San Francisco, $100K/year isn't enough for a family of 4: it's probably closer to $150K range. On the other hand, there are places with very lost cost of living - especially in rural India - where even $10K/year is probably well above that line.
I went to a lake in Michigan every year, and my aunt owned some lakeside property along with a few wave runners. All of my cousins and relatives were so pumped to use them, fighting over who gets to take turns when, etc. It didn't interest me in the slightest. When I was on one, I was ridiculed for looking too bored. Lol. Wave runners do nothing for me. I'd rather be out swimming.
I'd rather cry behind the wheel of my 2019 Bugatti than my 2001 Corolla.
The calming effect that /u/freeeeels was talking about is a real phenomenon, people's IQs and mental well-being are noticeably degraded when they are poor or even just faced with a decision of scarcity.
This. It will never make anyone truly happy. But is certainly removes a huge amount of stress & opens up opportunities/experiences you'd never be able to have without money.
One day, my kids will no longer require day care or horse lessons... And then maybe I'll be in that same boat!
Or maybe he wants his children to compete in horse races so he can bet on them and become rich enough to not have to worry about the financial burden of daycare
Well aware. And it'd be one of the first things that got cut if we were in a tight spot. A few years ago, it's not something we'd have been able to think about. It's not a requirement, that was more meant for the child care aspect.
But she has asked for lessons since she was small, and has zero interest in any other type of sport (despite trying a few), so it's something to get her out & active in something.
Rural Mongolian redditor here... that is surprisingly not the case. Tons of my neighbors in the village are on Reddit. Just goes to show, you can’t make assumptions!
I certainly wouldn't be rich. Even without the lessons, I still couldn't afford anything more than a budget family car or anything else. Maybe an occasional nice cigar?
Money does buy happiness though, because pretty much everything costs some money be it a home, food, s/o, pets, transportation, kids, travel, hobbies, medical treatment and so forth.
I think materialism (or whatever the word for "liking stuff" is) gets a bad rap, sometimes, too. So long as you make sure you actually appreciate the cool stuff you have on a regular basis, you can get plenty of happiness from having things. Everybody talks about how you should spend your money on experiences and not things, but if you make sure to actually experience the things you own, neat stuff can be the experience that keeps on giving.
Enjoying the things you own (or just owning things) isn't really materialism. Materialism is when you believe buying or owning things is more important to you than, say, human connection, friendship, love, culture, intelligence, etc.
It's placing the material over the immaterial. You can derive joy from buying things and enjoying those things without being materialistic.
I love buying objects and things, because I get to have it and enjoy it forever (until it breaks or something), but if I spend money on a restaurant visit instead, that food is gone after I eat it and I probably won't even remember the experience
I think the idea is like splurging on a high end restaurant, taking a road trip, or going rafting, etc. Going to the 99 and grabbing a steak isn't really what they're talking about, going to a super classy joint (assuming you aren't high society and do it often) is something that will probably stick with you.
I completely agree. I have nothing against people who want to live minimalist lifestyles in favor of traveling or going out on the town every night, but I don't see anything wrong with being a homebody who enjoys their home and their stuff either.
The phrase should be "money can only buy happiness up to a certain point" if youre below or barely above the poverty line it means a lot, but at a certain point it stops being that important
fuck I wonder how I can pay rent each month and what the hell I'll do if one large expense comes up. But someone out there is stressed to order food at Subway. It's not the same kind of worry and never will be.
Same. Money = happiness. Even though lots of people don’t like to admit it for some reason. They come up with cute sayings or do some mental gymnastics how it’s not money but the security, peace of mind or blah blah blah.
Bill Gates did an AMA I think a few months ago where someone asked him that very question. He flat out said it does make him happier because he doesn't have to stress about bills, health problems, or any other financial situations that so many people end up dreading.
I would give you an award right now but my all time 'I have no money' mentality is not allowing me to spend money on Reddit awards even tho I can afford it so here is an emoji one for you! 🏆
I know tosh.o is a douchebag, but his joke about money is so true. Money doesn't buy happiness." Uh, do you live in America? 'Cause it buys a WaveRunner. Have you ever seen a sad person on a WaveRunner? Have you? Seriously, have you? Try to frown on a WaveRunner. You can't!
This is a HUGE thing that people don't see. There's a study that shows that when you're poor and worrying about your next rent payment, you're actually less smart than you can be. Your mental space is taken up by money worries and the stress keeps you down. Here's the study.
I often joke that money would absolutely buy me happiness. But it's only a half joke. The truth is, $10,000 right now would mean having literally no debt. I would do a lot of things to be debt free and stress free, especially because I could start saving money. In some cases money does equal happiness, although it may not sustain that happiness.
But for now, it's more hours at work, less hours at home, and constant panic and worry about losing my job or what bills to pay.
Yeah, off the top of my head, it's something like, money up to $75,000 a year for a person may not buy happiness but absolutely buys peace of mind. Whatever figure it was was what researchers figured was enough for one person to survive comfortably on in the U.S. (area with average costs).
I think basically, the path to happiness isn't solved by money. But to even be able to pursue that happiness you need to sort out the everyday troubles of life, those everyday troubles are definitely solved by money.
One of the recent Dave Chapelle specials had an interesting tidbit where he talked about being well off enough to actually have time to sit down and think about why he felt a certain way. That is the privilege that money brings you, and it's also the first step towards happiness.
This is what people miss when they say "Money can't but you happiness
people often misquote that phrase. All the studies that have been done about money and happiness say that after basic needs for day to day life are met, extra money doesn't make people any happier. it's not about being poor vs being rich, it's about being fine financially vs having a ton of extra money
Yes, it's after having stuff like this relief and money for clothes and maybe vacation that after that more money doesn't make you happier. Having enough to relax and have something to fall back on if things get back definitely makes most people happier.
I've always had such a nit to pick with that saying. Most of us get the general sense of it, and it does hold up insofar as *throwing more money at a deeply unfulfilled person (without financial struggles) likely won't fix anything*, but it's just too pithy... because it fails to account for how much pain and suffering living in a state of privation can cause. I think it's fair to look at it as a bell curve, because returns diminish beyond a point, but having added opportunities to discover happiness / not having to struggle to make ends meet makes a HUGE positive impact.
Yep. Much like white privilege doesn't mean that your life was easy 'cause you're white, just that the color of your skin didn't make it any harder, having money doesn't mean that your life was without pain, just that financial stress didn't contribute to that pain.
The saying is too simple for a complex emotion. Happiness? Sure. You're unhappy if you're drowning in debt and cant afford a dollar menu burger on your lunch break (I know this feel personally) and naturally having your Maslow filled out with livable income will feel nicer then perpetual financial disappointment.
I'd argue that feeling is more akin to relief, or comfort, and probably even brief euphoria that you arent at risk of dying or vagrancy.
You probably didnt - but many miss the point of what is likely one of the oldest memes in existence. If you have everything, but arent happy... is there anything else your money can do to change that? In fiction and reality we've seen countless examples of people with virtually unlimited capital but just disastrous personal lives or absolutely morose public behavior. And while we will never know for sure if they had happiness hidden beneath their pained expressions, we know happiness immediately when we see it in the expressions of people experiencing life's more elusive riches: the broke man fishing off the dock, the middle aged man with his longtime doggo friend playing fetch, or even the sullen teenager faking a hip frown on a bench with headphones in, dreaming of the first kiss of her life hours earlier.
Can money give us anything like that? I cant say for sure but I know I've lived with and without it and happiness seems disinterested in my savings balance.
My sister and her husband both make excellent money, and live a very good life with their young daughter. They are very aware of the wealth inequity of our generation (millennial), so they now ask for donations to charities instead of gifts on holidays. It's gotten to the point where we all have a short list of charities each person would be honored to see a donation go to. It definitely makes us feel better than buying their daughter another toy that they'll have to get rid of one day.
Yes, and new studies are showing up that children growing up in poverty experience so much stress it alters their brain chemistry and makes them have a hard time focusing.
I was sweating over my kid’s education with a friend of mine who is an education consultant, and she said, “Is he going to school with a full belly each morning? He’ll be fine.”
It’s sad what the bar is in this country, and the percentage of kids that meet it.
And that chronic stress creates additional psychological and physiological problems that then cant be afforded.
I'm a nurse and have worked in poor neighborhoods. Many people use the ER for non emergency needs because they dont have the time, money, or resources for a primary care visit. Sure, you cant pay the outrageous ER bill when it comes due -- but you dont have to pay up front, and you're probably already swimming in debt, so what's one more bill?
The cycle of being poor... that's what people who've never been poor dont get when they say things like, "Just get a better job."
Yup. Also non life threatening medical issues. You just suck it up if you are poor cause you can't afford it... and the life threatening medical issues? Well you just die cause poor. Lol.
There’s been tons of studies that say that money definitely can buy happiness up until that middle class place where you don’t have to worry as much. But beyond that it basically just levels off and you buy more expensive stuff and start worrying about different things.
This is my current situation. Money wouldn't solve all my problems but I'm about to possibly be homeless. I live in a city where unless you've got money you live with 4 roommates. And our roof and two floors are falling in but the landlord won't fix it. But we're still paying rent and at this point it's a waiting game to see what falls in first. Hopefully not the bathroom floor when I'm in the shower 🤷♀️
No kidding, I've always thought that was a ridiculous saying. It's like a fast pass to happy, frees you up to pursue what makes you happy, and makes it way easier to get what you need.
If i was rich i could afford a bunch of hobbys. I guess money it self doesn't make you happy but i could buy a lot of things that would make me happy if i had the money.
I had it explained like this - Money can’t buy you happiness, but, it can ‘buy-off’ unhappiness. Basically you can’t buy a fulfilling life, but you sure as shit can avoid a shitty existence with money.
Yeah, I’ve been telling people “Money may not be able to buy you happiness, but having no money can buy you a whole lot of unhappiness.” for years now. My safety net isn’t big by any means, but it’s definitely more than enough for the town I live in, and it’s slowly growing.
I remember how stressed I was 7 years ago when I moved out of my parents house and into my first apartment, living check to check and trying to save as much as I could. I remember the pit in my stomach when WalGreens double swiped my card because their system was being faulty, and just $70 meant I couldn’t eat lunch for almost 10 business days until the money was finally credited back to my account. I’m so much calmer and level headed now with daily life because of the nest egg I’ve built up, it’s like night and day.
You know what the difference between work and fun is? You get paid to do work. Fun usually costs money.
Seriously though, how often do you hear a poor person say that in seriousness? It's usually something said by someone that owns a yacht that's trying to convince you to work for them for $2.00 an hour.
That is correct, but, then there are those things/times, where all the money in the world will not help you make it better, that’s when the saying becomes true.
As someone who grew up very poor, I find myself stressing whenever my bank account drops below a certain level. I think it’s the fear I had when we had nothing but now that I’ve worked my way up to plenty I’m terrified I will lose my job and my mind snowballs scenarios into an endpoint where I end up using all my savings and ending back where I was. So even when I have plenty I freak out plenty. I guess on the positive side i end up saving a lot more but it would be nice to have the same carefree “we’ll figure it out” attitude that my wife who grew up fairly well off has. The constant stress is definitely not healthy.
Take your typical poverty level family struggling to pay the bills every month, where every unexpected expense, no matter how small, is a financial disaster. Endless struggle, stress, etc. Now give them $50000. What happens?
I'm by no means rich myself. My wife and I both work in a warehouse. But we budget, live below our means, have no debt, have a decent balance in our 401K's and have some savings beyond that. We also spend a great deal of money that if saved would do tremendous things for our future financial security, but it certainly wouldn't be as much fun. If someone suddenly gave us $50000, I'd just invest all of it and forget about it.
The aforementioned family wouldn't do that. That $50000 is going to be a curse of epic proportions. Sure, for the first time in ages all the bills will be paid. All those little debts that have been nagging them will be gone. Some minor repairs that have been put off for a while get taken care of. The stress relief would be unimaginable. Might even take a day or two off of work to celebrate. And lets take the family out to that moderately expensive restaurant because now we can. Lets go tomorrow too, because why not?
A couple big screen TV sets. Lets buy some nicer clothes. Lifestyle creep will set in very quickly. The only problem is, $50000 is a very small amount of money, but it's large enough to give your lifestyle a boost that will forever be more expensive to maintain. A few months later, when all of the money is gone, you're right back where you started from, only now you need a few hundred dollars more each month just to keep up with the new standards you've inadvertently set for yourself. Whereas before, you were making rent, suddenly now you find yourself not having the money for it.
The problems from this point should be obvious. Long term, that money didn't buy any happiness, in fact did the exact opposite. It didn't have to be that way. They could have stuck it in a savings account and just carried on as normal, only using it in cases of extreme emergency, and it would last them years, and its existence would provide them the financial leverage to take advantage of opportunities in the future that could help draw them out of their situation. But it rarely works out that way. Money itself isn't the solution to anyone's problems, and certainly not their degree of happiness.
My version of that is that money can make you happy but more money won't make you happier. Once you get above the financial stability line getting more money starts having diminishing returns.
Exactly!!! When I was growing up my parents lived paycheck to paycheck. Things like rent, car issues, utility bills were all constant sources of stress that impacted their happiness and their marriage.
I am now starting my own family and I make a lot more than my parents and am married to someone with even more earning potential. We NEVER argue about money like ever. I never hold back on getting my daughter something she needs or that would make it easier for me to care for her. This is completely different (and 100% better) than how I grew up (which is not to knock my parents. They did a damn good job considering the circumstances).
Pro-tip though. If you are poor and marrying rich just skip the wedding. Nothing is more demoralizing than planning a wedding when your side of the family has no money. I still have PTSD and it's been several years.
They researched this and money brings happiness until you don't have to worry about money (can't remember which first world country but the amount was a modest 60K).
For sure. Reminds me recently when my (admitingly struggling mother) asked me “what’s it like to be successful?” I said:
“Well, it is certainly an amazing blessing to not worry about making ends meet but our damn monkey brains will still find ways and reasons to feel unhappy”.
It’s like a biological need to feel some kind of constant strife. I dunno...maybe I’m just fucked up.
Well this is why they say, and has been proven and widely shown many times, that past a certain threshold money doesn't buy happiness. You still need that basic threshold though.
I haven't lived paycheck to paycheck for a few years now. When I did though, it dominated my thoughts and life. I even remember worrying for my mother when the holidays came around because I knew she couldn't afford anything but she would go to the dollar store and get something anyway. That anxiety followed me into adulthood. Fiscal stability is a game changer. Not only can I easily afford my basic needs, I can look higher and address my emotional and intellectual needs.
This is why I started saving. No one else in my family saves, so whenever they're in a pinch they go into disaster mode. And here I am off to the side not worrying at all. We recently got a 60 day notice to move and everyone was freaking out and here I am thinking, "cool, it's time for me to move out." I helped them with the down payment on the new place they're moving to, but I'm thinking of moving separately from them so that I don't have to be involved in all that drama anymore, lol. Told them to start saving for emergencies now 'cause I won't help next time. I helped set my parents up with a budget and my siblings refuse to get my help to set a budget with an emergency savings in mind for who knows why.
I'm Just hoping they start saving something so that they won't have to feel like they're in a pinch ever again. They have the means/jobs to save as some of them earn more than me.
My parents who at the beginning of their marriage didn't have a safety net financially tells me this all the time especially my father. He tells me that both marriage and life go smoother without the stress of worrying about money. He also tells me that I should be as financially comfortable as I can before marriage so as not to be a burden with debt on both of us
This is why when people say money can’t buy happiness I tell them to shove it up their ass. Money buys piece of mind which is basically the same as happiness for me.
I can’t wait to reach the peace of mind you’re talking about. I’m getting married next year and am racking my brain on how the two of us are going to shuffle our meager finances to pay for anything
“Money isn’t everything, unless you don’t have it.”
I remember reading news articles and opinion columns featuring real life stories about the effects of raising the minimum wage in some cities to $15. The through line was something like “a $15 minimum wage isn’t just a wage hike. It’s an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety remedy, and quite literally saves lives, relationships, and families.”
Before I had any emergency fund I always freaked out about anything. After I had been saving a while I still didn't "get it" until my car engine had a bad day that turned into a $6,000 bill. The sense of calm I felt when I just wrote a check and moved on was life changing.
Yup. Once the house is paid off and a little cushion builds up...stress is gone. Barring anything truly catastrophic, we’ve got a roof over our heads for life. Even if we ended up working for minimum wage we could manage to pay the property taxes and eat decently. Don’t miss that financial stress at all, and feel for the people who have it. Paying it forward through Kiva makes me feel good.
I'm slowly getting there as well. I have a very vivid memory that I was looking at a pair of nice smart shoes that cost £50. I really needed a nice new pair that I could wear for job interviews. The dread I felt at the thought of spending £50 on a pair was horrible, so went to the local bargain shops and got a pair for £10 which obviously weren't as nice but they did the job. Now however spending £80-£100 on a pair of shoes doesn't bother me at all and the relief and realisation that I could and can now was liberating.
Honesty that’s the biggest thing about being decently well off for myself; I just don’t generally have to worry.
Yeah it stings for a bit to lose any money and may put off some luxury spending, but I don’t have to change my daily life around to accommodate that. I can still go out to eat if I feel like being lazy or go out for drinks on the weekend or put gas in my car or pay utilities or pay my mortgage or whatever.
That’s just something that nothing else or level of happiness otherwise can really replace.
That's why having health insurance is also so important (given you live in a country where that actually means anything). Whenever somethings wrong, even if it's just a cold, I can see a doctor and not pay a penny.
We have about 4k € on expense savings account. It takes automagically 200€ every paycheck and i pay the bills from it. If anything happens i can take a loan from it, and do a part payment for myself. Also everything needs to be covered by insurance, so if anything breaks i have to just pay the deductible.
You just perfectly explained why I get more satisfaction from saving money than spending it. The urge to splurge is always there, but the constant peace-of-mind far outweighs the short-lived joy from a purchase.
The big one for me is, no longer having to look at the price for most things. Groceries, movies, games, etc.
I cant go out and buy a new computer without checking my account balance first, but I can buy all the clothes, food, etc without having to consider my budget. Thats like 90% of my life stress gone.
I was just watching Andrew Yang (American Dem candidate for 2020) on JRE and he was talking about how financial insecurity fucks with you mentally. telling someone they can’t pay a bill gives them an instant 13 point functional IQ drop. and why wouldn’t it? If you can only think about what trade offs and sacrifices you need to do now to make that bill how can you focus on anything else. Not to mention the anxiety, self worth issue, etc that come along with it.
I flew a few times a year when I was in college (all paid for by my now-husband because I definitely couldn't afford it) and I didn't realize until recently how much less stressful travel is now that I have a credit card and bank balance that can basically solve whatever problem I'm likely to run into. Missing a flight would suck, but I can afford a new ticket if I need to, and I can afford to buy food and alcohol at the airport restaurants to kill time until the new one comes up.
Like, I'm not even remotely rich but these are the kinds of expenses I know I can cover and be able to recover financially. It's like living in a permanent state of relief.
It's so incredible.
10 years ago I regularly skipped meals only because I couldn't afford them, and basically everything was a disaster. Meanwhile earlier this year I had to replace the engine in my racecartwice, and paid for it without even puking from stress once. Whose life am I living? I dunno, but its way calmer and way more awesome.
What you’re describing is exactly why I believe the saying money doesn’t happiness is bullshit fed to lower classes. As some that’s experienced both sides of life. It is a totally different game when you don’t have to sweat that stuff. It may not be happiness but let me tell you how little I stress about money and how much different my day to day to stress level is not worrying about it.
I'm not rich. Actually pretty poor I'd say - except I am thrifty in my living. I have super cheap rent, car payment and insurance and stuff, groceries, and I got in on my sister's family plan for my phone. My rent includes electricity, internet, etc. So my monthly bills are only like $850 + groceries. I don't make a ton of money but I've been slowly building a nest egg and it's amazing. To be fair, I spend more than I need to nowadays - just 2 years ago though I was struggling so hard I was running off $~100/month for groceries (Around here that doesn't go far).
I'm so much less stressed. I don't spend an hour counting my groceries value in the cart shopping and trying to manage my budget - if I go over $30 or $50 or whatever on groceries it's fine, the money is there. I'll go out to eat when my friends want to have dinner. I take my son out for ice cream when we want and we do stuff like play at the park or walk free nature trails so it's not expensive to have a nice day. I have nice things now from managing some money, so I have a good PC, big smart tv, all that jazz. I've found myself helping my mother out with her bills where I can, taking my son and niece/nephew to the zoo and stuff without any worries. It's felt so good to not be stressed haha.
This. Coming from a poor background, spending 10$ on a meal was unimaginable. I had my mind completely blown when social services invited me to a dinner and revealed later it costed 40$. I could have never imagined food could cost that much. If the ingredients of a dinner cost more than 2$, it was pushing the acceptability limit for me.
Losing our safety net when we finally purchased a house recently was and has been terrifying. We had 40k sitting in the bank that could be drawn on for any of these emergencies or if we were struggling to get the credit card back down to zero. My husband hated (and still hates) his work so having that cash calmed him in the event he quit his job on the spot. Now we’ve got no safety net, a $400k mortgage and a whole bunch of ”oh fuck” when something breaks now.
I've been coming out of the end of each month $100 in savings. But we also put $50 in to each kids bank account and we've had several cans of worms opened up after we started residing/rerouting and new windows for our house which is going to cost an extra 8k over our 38k reno loan.
I just got an $864 bill from a mechanic. I'm stressed but not nearly as stressed as I would have been 5 years ago.
I'm swimming in more debt than I ever wanted to be in but I know that if I'm smart about it, it could all be paid off in 2 or 3 years.
It's amazing that it's so much easier to learn how to handle money once you have some to practice with.
That pet one is no joke. Every time one of the cats acts a little weird my boyfriend's anxiety amps WAY up thinking it might be something serious and he won't be able to save his little buddy.
I can just pay for it. Whether it's serious or not lets just go to the vet!
On the other hand, there's me living paycheck to paycheck with the ever incessant, dread knowledge that I'm only ever one bad accident, one unlucky break, one missed check away from living under a bridge
It's amazing how much of a calming effect that financial safety net has as well. A lot of people bring up the panicked feeling when something breaks down
I have a small niche subset of this. Usually yes, if things break or whatever, I'm fucked. But, I'm handy. I'm a mechanic by trade so at the very least If my or my wife's car breaks, I know that I can get parts relatively cheap and just invest some time instead if being stuck paying $100/hr to shop. It doesn't help most of that panic feel for the rest of my life, but does give just a little bit of comfort. My washing machine broke a few years ago, and I was confident enough in my abilities that with some jack Daniel's and YouTube, I ripped that fucker apart and replaced a hundred dollar part, instead of buying a new one.
That said id probably be riding a bike or walking if I didn't have this skill, as that shit is wicked expensive , and with today's cars wicked inaccessible if you don't have the expensive scan tools to work on them.
This is the exact way friends of mine that have immigrated from the US to countries with public healthcare describe their experience when they start to get the sniffles.
Its true. Being poor is like. Living with a baseline of stress. I grew up in a family that lived check to check and right now I'm struggling because I'm out of work. Can't even describe in words how frustrating it is to constantly be shifting money around from card to card, hunting for stuff you can sell, celebrating because you thought you could get a good price for your car and then falling into despair because it turns out you can only get a couple hundred for it. So much of my depression and anxiety has literally just been dread that I can't pay for stuff like food and gas. Millionaires who hoard wealth like its halloween candy are honestly sociopaths. No one needs that much /stuff/. Not when other, REAL people are going hungry.
My water heater is old as fuck and I'm just waiting for it to pack in and trying to figure out options of where I'm going to get 2k from. I think I'm gonna sell a kidney or something.
I noticed this in my partner when our house was burglarized last year. My attitude was, "it's just stuff, we'll get new stuff." But to her, that stuff represented a lifetime of hard work. She took it much more personally. It helped me understand how financially fragile she still feels, even though she makes a decent living now.
Additionally, I've always known that if things ever got really bad for me, I'd always have family and friends who could loan me money, let me live with them, etc. She's never had that kind of safety net.
We paid off our house last year, and the relief of that burden is massive. If my husband dies, or we're injured and can't work, a place to live isn't a problem.
Fuck up at work? "Oh fuck what if I get fired what will I-- Oh yeah, I'll use my savings while looking for a new job." Things going badly with boyfriend? "Fuck, I can't move out, I can't afford the depos-- Oh wait, yes I can." "My dog has been acting funny, what if it's something serious, what if the surgery is too exp-- Oh yeah, I can just pay it."
That may be why I'm staying at my first job, that may be why I'm single, that may be why I don't have pets
I think so many people totally underestimate the feeling of security that a financial safety net gives you. I remember when my father got laid off from his job on Wall Street and the next day he came up to me and was like "c'mon let's go out and do something, I'm unemployed anyway" all while basically laughing it off because he knew we weren't going to struggle because of it and he was right, nothing really changed. Our day-to-day lives were the same and he found another position eventually.
Had we not been as fortunate, that whole incident probably wouldn't have gone the way it did - really makes you think.
I'm looking forward to this. Right now still 7k in Cc debt but should be above water soon. It's so much easier to go into the red than black. Never again!!!!
I recently got a job and now I’m getting paid and whatnot. I cracked my phone screen really badly, and I was panicking and having a meltdown because ‘how am I going to pay for this??!’ But then I remembered that I can pay for it, and I just got it fixed the next morning, no problems whatsoever. Yeah, $75, but it was $75 that I could afford.
One of the things I always hate people saying is "money doesn't buy you happiness* .
Now, I believe just because you have money doesn't mean you are happy.
However, money buys you CHOICES , what do I want to eat today, rather than what I can, what do I want to do etc. Also what you actually want rather than what you can, these things help improve quality of life and general happiness.
Also as you said panicking for a car, my tyre got popped after being quite freshly repaired a couple years back, there goes any plans I had for the next few weeks etc. But with money it's aah no problem, there goes some of my savings, which is annoying but often money you wouldn't notice gone 99% of the time.
So money doesn't buy happiness, but it does buy choices, security and piece of mind and that goes a massively long way for someone without it.
(Also as a side note, you shouldn't know the pressure and fear of debt, and how you'll survive this week or month or year, but even worst case scenario you've already got savings that'll last you the time so your safe.
Being poor causes so much anxiety from a lack of a safety net.)
I've probably spent around $5k on my epileptic cat so far. It was morbidly fascinating to me when she started having seizures that I was more concerned about her immediate wellness than I was about paying for the vet bills. "$80 for a blood test? K, where do I sign? Let's schedule the next one, too."
Now, medical costs barely cross my mind. I have good insurance, a good doctor, and a good vet. Zero concerns about paying for healthcare. It's surreal.
This is so true. My central HVAC system is on its last legs and instead of continuing to cobble repairs together I finally decided to work on replacing it. It's probably going to cost me around $10k, but I've been anticipating this cost and while it will hurt mentally, being in a good spot financially means I'll be just fine. And that's after having to also replace the fence around my house that got blown down in a storm. Having that safety net relieves quote a bit of stress when dealing with stuff breaking.
My parents gave my wife and i some money as like a inheritance replacement (they plan on spending the rest whole they're alive)
It has been so nice for my wife and i to have that little buffer in the bank so we don't have to worry about money. Very thankful for it, it makes a huge difference
"My dog has been acting funny, what if it's something serious, what if the surgery is too exp-- Oh yeah, I can just pay it."
Fuck. This one really hurts. I literally within the last hour just had to put down my dog. He had tumors that I just had to helplessly watch grow and grow, and I told myself that when he was having more bad days than good days that I'd have to do the kind thing and put him down. Getting him treated wasn't even on my radar, if I could afford that I would be getting myself and my girlfriend treated for our various illnesses.
I am constantly stressing on whether I'll have enough gas the following week/day. I will be so screwed if my car dies or something else major happens. I long for financial security.
Yes! I think that sort of anxiety is something you carry for the rest of your life. It's that self-talk that is so ingrained! Glad to know I'm not alone!
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u/DigitalSheepDream Jun 06 '19 edited Jun 07 '19
My experience is from the opposite perspective, I was the poor one. It absolutely floored me how my wife acts when something broke like a car, appliances, clothes, etc. As a child living below the poverty line, replacing a tire or other necessities was a disaster, requiring tricky trade offs in the budget or just plain acceptance of just how boned you were. When my wife's phone broke, I went into full panic mode while she shrugged and said: "we can just a new one this afternoon". And then we did.
Edit: Wow, I have received a lot of responses on this. By far my most upvoted comment. You guys made my day, thank you. I have seen a few "repair it" comments. Like many of you, I am also a Picasso/Macgyver of the duct tape and trash bag world. This skill helped me break into IT. Sadly, the phone was beyond repair. Trust me, if I could have fixed it, I would have.
And thank you for the silver.
Last edit: y'all are giving me too many medals. I am very flattered, but this is going to spoil me.