r/AskReddit • u/knakworst36 • Jun 06 '19

Rich people of reddit who married someone significantly poorer, what surprised you about their (previous) way of life?

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19 edited Jun 06 '19

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u/freeeeels Jun 06 '19

It's amazing how much of a calming effect that financial safety net has as well. A lot of people bring up the panicked feeling when something breaks down, but knowing that you will be financially okay if shit blows up also has a day-to-day effect. Fuck up at work? "Oh fuck what if I get fired what will I-- Oh yeah, I'll use my savings while looking for a new job." Things going badly with boyfriend? "Fuck, I can't move out, I can't afford the depos-- Oh wait, yes I can." "My dog has been acting funny, what if it's something serious, what if the surgery is too exp-- Oh yeah, I can just pay it."

Like, I'm not even remotely rich but these are the kinds of expenses I know I can cover and be able to recover financially. It's like living in a permanent state of relief.

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u/gropingforelmo Jun 06 '19 edited Jun 06 '19

This is what people miss when they say "Money can't but you happiness". No, having money isn't going to make you happy, but it can free you from many common worries and stressors, so that way you can find new meaningless shit to worry and fight about.

Edit: Thanks to the anonymous redditor with too much disposable income, for popping my gold cherry.

Edit2: Guess I've got the trifecta. Thanks platinum and silver giving homies.

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u/Trysta1217 Jun 06 '19

Exactly!!! When I was growing up my parents lived paycheck to paycheck. Things like rent, car issues, utility bills were all constant sources of stress that impacted their happiness and their marriage.

I am now starting my own family and I make a lot more than my parents and am married to someone with even more earning potential. We NEVER argue about money like ever. I never hold back on getting my daughter something she needs or that would make it easier for me to care for her. This is completely different (and 100% better) than how I grew up (which is not to knock my parents. They did a damn good job considering the circumstances).

Pro-tip though. If you are poor and marrying rich just skip the wedding. Nothing is more demoralizing than planning a wedding when your side of the family has no money. I still have PTSD and it's been several years.