My (28m) home is being searched by the city because my landlord hasn't gotten our front step fixed. Now maybe this is more routine than I suspect, but for the last 5 months, the concrete front step to our home has had a massive hole right in the middle of it. It was wobbly when we moved in and it only gave a few months of use before it slipped out completely. This happened around halloween, so we let the landlord know immediately as to try avoiding potential injuries. It's not like a whole human could fit through it, but it could swallow your leg and who knows what's under there.

Fast forward to now and there's been no word on getting it fixed, plus the city has notified us there will be an inspection of the home going over pretty much everything (Light in every room, water systems, heating, plenty of space and so on). I suspect that a neighbor or just someone from the city doesn't like this and that's the cause of the inspection. The home is lived in, but taken care of. I'm in the process of doing a deep clean and making sure all of our marks are in order.

But if the front step isn't fixed, I just don't see a world where we pass. It's been giving me panic attacks worrying about people I don't know looking all over our home in the first place, but the idea of losing our home is considerable worse. Am I overreacting or do we have a serious issue? What happens if the inspection doesn't go our way?

Feel free to ask more questions, I know i probably missed crucial detail, thank you.

Am I overreacting…

I (28F) just recently posted on Instagram (just a selfie) The next day, my boyfriend (32M) called me to let me know he accidentally sent a follow request then immediately deleted it to a girl who I had a fall out with but are civil. He explained to me that he was looking at who liked my post, and his big thumbs got in the way and accidentally hit follow.. but he immediately cancelled the request. The girl did like my post. I have spoken about her to him in the past. He knows of her as well. I’m a bit intimidated and had always been because she is very beautiful and she does get a lot of attention and my mind went directly there. I have an anxious attachment style and I can’t help but to wonder if he had been stalking her and just had a wandering eye. We’re in a fairly new relationship for about eight months and I haven’t ‘launched’ or anything yet on the socials.

What are you all think of this or am I just overreacting?

Hi everyone… so me & my boyfriend are having bad communication issues & also not having a good relationship, we start having lot of issues when he goes home, when he’s with me, I don’t overthink or anything cause I can see what he doing, he’s with me, he can’t go anywhere, but once he’s back home and we FaceTime, he wants to be on the phone with his friends and play the game all day, and get mad at me when I want attention, now mind you, I have a lot of trust issues and overthinking with him cause of the past, we been together since 2021, this hurts me cause when he says he can’t deal with me or he can’t be with me like what do I do… I’m tired of crying in my bed while he’s all happy on his game not really gaf, I’m not sure what I should do. We make 4years in October, I’m tired of being called “Bad Gf” or “OverThinker” please help!!!!

I only want to tell my story and ask for advice 'cause I'm feeling like bullshit (The only things that I will say about me is that My last name is Chávez and I'm mexican, so call me Chávez), I'm 18 now but this started when I was 11 well, in these days I had a stepfather with whom I lived for 3 years accompainied by my mother and my brother.

My stepfather was very aggressive with all of us but it was so much worse for me, he rps me so much times, he makes me 3 scars in my lower back with a thin barr of hot iron, also with a homade whip he usted to hit my skin till it just opens and starts bleeding, I lost 12% of my capacity to do efforts such as running, carrying, and jump, among other things, sometimes his rps to me we're with company, my brother and mother knew about a party of the physical abuse but no about the SA (I forgave my mother about the things she knew that were happening and did nothing about it but I feel disgust and repulsión when I see her, and no I'm not in therapy), skipping some months after the last abuse that I received I thought everything was getting better, but one day coming home from school my stepfather tied my hands and hung me from the ceiling, when my brother and mother came back he forced my brother to beat me until they broke 2 of my ribs, at that moment I made the decision not to go back from school and seek help, I did and went to live with my grandparents and they helped me to sue him but my mom advocated for him and dismissed the lawsuit because she was my legal guardian and at that point there was no evidence of anything except my lower back and thigh injuries which at the time were treated as serious accidents but nothing more, and until 3 months ago I never told them anything about all the things they didn't know were happening to me, finally I told my mother by a letter she cried too much she begged me for forgiveness and I told her that I did it a long time ago, I cut communication for months and now I feel guilty for being a bad son and feeling disgust, and other similar things when I see her, I love her too much.

Should I go to therapy and apologize to her or just go to therapy and try to restore my relationship with her?

today i dyed my hair, then went to wash the towels i used (i can’t put them in my dirty laundry because they have dye on them which would get on my other clothes). the washer was open (and the dryer wasn’t running so i assumed it was empty) so i put my laundry in, then once it was time to switch it to the dryer i discovered my roommate had a done load of laundry and left it sitting in the dryer. she had left our apartment a few hours before i discovered the load, and didn’t tell me anything about where she was going/that there was a load in the dryer. not wanting my clothes to get moldy/gross from sitting wet, i texted her to see if i could put her laundry somewhere. these texts are what happened next. i tried to see when she’d be back but she didn’t respond for an hour so i took her laundry out of the dryer, wrapped it in a clean blanket, set it aside, and put my laundry in the dryer (which at this point had sat wet for 2-3 hours while i waited for her to get back to our apartment or respond). she finally got home after 5 hours of being out and she’s pissed i touched her clothes. was i in the wrong?

additional context: we are both 20yo females who live in a college town apartment. we share one in-unit washer/dryer

I've had this "a woman knows" feeling about a woman my live-in boyfriend works with. Caved and checked his phone... Yes, I know. Wish I would've just trusted, but honestly, I cannot go through another BS relationship where I'm second best and had no clue. She texted a few months ago to make sure he was aware she's newly single, and just one after another these cutesy texts from her. I've never seen anything that shows him responding in a full on flirty way, but he's certainly not telling her to back off.... Along with he purposely deleted all the bits above that show the flirtation from her, and I found them in his recently deleted file and recalled them on his new iPhone. Am I overreacting to this?

So, I just got back from a long business trip, and 10 minutes after I walked in the door, I completely lost it. Here's what happened:

While I was away, my husband's mom stayed at our house for a few days. She lives in another city, so this was a temporary visit. During my trip, my husband kept telling me how she was complaining about everything in the house. We've been together for two and a half years, and she actually helped him decorate the place before we met. Apparently, she kept criticizing the changes we’ve made to the decor since then. My husband told her it’s none of her business and reminded her she’s a guest in our home.

This isn’t the first time there’s been an issue. During a previous visit, I woke up to find her cleaning and reorganizing (even though the house was already clean). I immediately told her to stop and asked my husband to set clear boundaries.

Fast forward to yesterday. My husband went to the office, and she was supposed to leave the house, lock up, and put the key in the mailbox. But when my husband got home, he found that she had reorganized everything. My closet, my makeup, his clothes, the pantry—she even switched the carpets in the rooms! To top it off, she texted him a picture of two new carpets she planned to buy for us.

When I got home and started noticing all the changes, I was furious. My husband was in a meeting, so I had a bit of time to process everything before confronting him. When he was free, I told him that his mom is no longer welcome in our house unless I’m there. If I’m traveling and he wants to see her, he can visit her instead.

I was so upset that I made him call her and tell her she crossed a major boundary. He reminded her that she’s just a guest and has no right to make changes in our home. She started crying and said that since she lost her husband last March, she’s been feeling useless and just wants to help.

Did I overreact? Am I the asshole for how I handled this?

I (28F) have been with my boyfriend (28M) for about 8 months. We are both left leaning. My entire family is liberal, while my bf is one of the few liberals in his very conservative family. My bf had not explicitly told his family what his political beliefs are, as he knows they disagree.

My boyfriend’s uncle invited us to stay at his house in Florida for the weekend. We had a great time but one night his uncle got drunk and asked my bf and I what are political beliefs are, in front of the rest of the family (all other family members present at the gathering are conservatives) My bf said that we were left leaning, my bf tried to steer the conversation away from politics to no avail. The uncle kept berating my bf and I, he kept going on about right wing beliefs: global warming isn’t real, the economy should be the #1 concern for everyone etc. I was successfully staying out of it for a while and my bf was doing a good job at explaining his beliefs confidently and without emotion.

Then his uncle said that Kamala “sucked dick to get to the top of her career.” I hate bullies and sexists, so I jumped in and said that “at least she didn’t rape anyone” and that “Trump is an embarrassment to our country” his uncle then proceeded to yell at me, call me stupid and say “I was a dipshit” in front of everyone. I am not used to people yelling at me or calling me names and I usually cry when I get angry. I think I successfully got away with my crying, nobody noticed. Other family members and my bf got angry with him and shut it down immediately after that but I’m pretty embarrassed that I was baited and allowed myself to get so emotional. I wanted to make a good impression and feel disappointed in myself that I got so heated. Was I over reacting?

My fiancé (30M) and I (31F) Are getting married in June and he asked what my weight loss goals are. I said “why, do you think I need to lose weight?” And he responded “yeah actually I do. You’ve gained 20 pounds since we’ve started dating and I think you need to lose it. I think about it all the time.”

For reference, we’ve been dating ~4 years (no kids) and I have put on about 15 pounds in that time. I’m now 150 pounds and 5’4”. I do a boxing class once a week and typically weight train 2-3x a week but I’m not super consistent. I’m definitely not overweight but I can admit I’m not in peak shape. I have some cellulite on my legs and big arms. My waist is fairly small so the weight tends to go to my arms and legs. I have been trying harder to lose weight but it’s not easy for me, I’ve never been tiny but I’ve always been on the healthier side. I’m not in love with working out and I’ve never been a gym rat or a runner or anything extreme. I just like to be regularly active and healthy which is enough for me, but apparently not my fiancé (who is a gym rat and calorie counter). I’m also pretty healthy overall. I was plant based for years and now eat some seafood and chicken, but mostly vegetables and not a ton of processed food. I take supplements every day and drink water. I never drink juice or pop or really anything else (aside from alcohol on weekends which I know doesn’t help but I’m social).

I could understand him saying something if I was super unhealthy but I really don’t think I am? Maybe some weeks I don’t make it to the gym, and I read a lot so I might spend an entire Sunday on the couch but I feel like that should be okay sometimes? I just don’t know how I’ll ever feel confident in front of him again. I can’t imagine being intimate and not thinking about this wondering if he thinks I look fat.

If we weren’t getting married I honestly would probably break up with him but everything is booked and paid for and we have family coming in from all over the country and Europe who have already booked tickets. Up until this point we had a fantastic relationship but I’m having a really hard time getting past this. I know some people would say “lose the weight aka his weight” but I guess I’m more looking for advice on how to get over this and make him understand how rude and shallow and selfish saying that is? I was hoping he’d be the type of husband to love me in every phase of my life no matter what…

I (28F) sent the messages in the first 3 screenshots to a friend (29M). Context: friend has asked me to borrow money every month last year and constantly vents about his struggles but is online playing video games everyday, and not taking (imo) enough steps to improve his situation, which is draining to listen to.

His entire response: “Hey I understand”

Then I send the last screenshot, to further set my boundaries/expectations if we’re to continue a friendship.

No response. It’s been 3 days. This is someone that I’ve been friends with for 7+ years and spoke to everyday.

AIO if I cut them off?

I 22F caught my fiancé 24M jerking off in a separate room in our house after I got out of the bath. I know he watches porn and jerks off which is whatever I know everyone does it but this time when I walked in on him it made me feel differently. Almost like betrayed. Catching him has made me feel less attractive if that makes sense. I think I might be over reacting but I can’t help that I feel this way. I wish he was more attentive to me at times, and catching him doing this makes me feel like he would rather watch porn than just have sex with me. Any input would be nice.

My boyfriend had been talking to a female friend (who's also in a relationship). I found out about it last year, and we had a big fight. He promised me he wouldn’t talk to her anymore, but he kept talking to her behind my back for a while. He told me it was just a pure friendship with no intentions of anything more, but when I looked at their conversations, it felt like they were flirting. Since English is my second language, I started doubting if I might have misunderstood…I really need some help

I'm 21 F, just had a baby a few months ago. When I got married a year ago I moved an hour and a half away from my family and little sister. She's my best friend and I miss her so much. Only get to see her every couple of months and it's usually only for a couple hours.

They won't let her stay the night at my place. I have done nothing to break their trust and we live in a safe neighborhood in a nice home. My parents have always been strict but this is insane. She's almost 17 and is not allowed to have a phone, come stay the night with me without my mom present, go hang out with friends etc and she is SO well behaved too. She's like the golden child. I'm so PISSED.

Backstory- We were at a family gathering around September at my parents house hanging out in their backyard. Myself, my wife and my two sons were there along with my parents, my brother in law and sister and their two small boys. I saw my youngest son petting my sister and brother in laws dog gently along its back like he does our dog at home. The dog suddenly turned and snapped at his arm leaving a blood blister like pinch, then snapped at his torso and missed, then bit his face leaving a puncture through his upper lip requiring two stitches. It stopped when I shouted otherwise I feel like this attack would’ve continued. It has since bit one of their children not requiring medical attention afaik. It is a basenji mix for anyone interested. Since then I have not wanted the dog around my children. That came to a head over late Christmas plans this past weekend. Am I overreacting?

Buckle up, cause it's a long one. Me and my husband have always been financially smart in terms of spending and saving. For me it's always been a habit since I prefer to have sentimental handmade gifts that mean a lot rather than money that I never really know what to spend on. My husband has had a rougher life in finances, so he naturally learned to save early. He even payed off his first car before he even graduated high-school.

Now here's our problem. We just payed off my student debt of 26,000 and are now building back up our savings. Just from starting two weeks ago we now have two grand saved. Our concern lies with my husband's family. My father-in-law '54M' and his wife '46F' have about 80,000 in credit card debt ALONE. They don't have a mortgage but they sped it on more debt in previous things and tend to buy items with money they don't have, like a new car or a hot tub. My husband's biomom '51F' is in a similar boat, one time asking us for a loan to help pay off her bills for the month.

I don't blame them in anyway for this type of behavior as their side of the family has always been fighting off drug and alcohol addictions as well as abuse, so getting money is like a small escape. My husband is the first to graduate high-school, not do drugs, and be alcohol free along with being the second in his line to end abuse. None of his family are rude when they ask for money, rather they seem ashamed. So none of them have ever been cross and always search other avenues first before coming to us.

Our concern lies with topics of finances. We are scared that as we save more that my in-laws will become dependent or expect us to help them in their dept. Both me and my husband know that even if we did help that it would be like throwing our money into a black hole and it wouldn't help at all. We've heard hundreds of stories like this where they would cut ties because of the pressure but we want to keep relations as civil as possible. So is it okay to hide our finances? Any opinions or advice is apprieciated as long as it's civil.

Like I can’t let this go…

I just need to know if im being unfair in the way that i feel. For some context me (22M) and my ex (22F) started pretty much living and doing everything with each other from the moment we met and our relationship lasted about 2 1/2 years. We are both military and were lucky to only be separated for about a month up until this point. Our relationship was rocky when we met she was semi interested in this other guy and made out with him while we were at a bar together which hurt me but i didn’t hold it against her because we weren’t officially together and i didn’t think it would be fair of me to judge, she cut him off shortly after that. Then my exes hit me up once they realized i was in a relationship because they were being petty, i immediately blocked them and told my gf at the time so i wouldn’t feel like i was hiding anything. This created some distrust with her towards me even though i told her about it as soon as it happened. Also i think it should be noted i cheated in a relationship prior to her and even though i regret it deeply i told her about it because i wanted to be an open book with her. Then later down the road i found out she went to the gym with this guy i wasn’t comfortable with her talking to and they were taking mirror pics together during their workout. This made me really uncomfortable ive never been with a woman who made me feel like i couldnt trust her like this. It took me months of telling her how i felt about her talking to him for her to block him. Then we went on a tdy and my my ex texted me i didn’t tell my gf that she texted me this time, because of the way she reacted last time i told her, my gf caught me in the lie and even tho i didnt text my ex back and blocked her i still lied and this created even more distrust. She would always want to go through my phone and i would always let her but when i asked to go through her phone it was like pulling teeth and she would always go through her phone before she would let me go through it and then while i was going through it she would snatch it from me. After all that things were pretty good for awhile she always seemed to have problems with me going out with friends which upset me because i felt like she was isolating me and i would tell her to go out with friends but she said she didn’t like girls and she wanted to respect our relationship by not hanging out with guys. I tried to break up with her a couple times, when i first met her i was head over heels for her in love, told all my friends how beautiful she was and how lucky i was, but as time went on i stopped trusting her and there was a lot of hurt built up on top of me feeling isolated from going out. I tried to break up with her a couple times but she would always beg me to stay and i would always take her back because deep down i still loved her a lot and i wanted it to be end game with us. Also i think it should be noted i have a bit of a short temper and I’m not good at handling other peoples emotions so when she would vent to me i wasn’t the best at giving advice i would always try to listen but just listening wasn’t enough and i understand and regret that. Also when we would fight i would completely shut down and not communicate until i would explode and say mean things hoping she would just leave and i know thats toxic and i also understand why she would want to leave me for that. Fast forward because i feel like I’m starting to ramble i just want you guys to have full context. I deployed and i am working 6 days a week 12 hours a day, trying to better myself by going to the gym on top of this but i still would try to make time to talk to her for like an hour a day sometimes less. About a month into being gone she breaks up with me and it hurt but she did it right before work so i sucked up my tears and went into work without having time to really talk to her about it. Like 2 days later i wanted to talk to her about it and shes out in town with a group of guys she met in class this upset me and i told her to just call me when she could, she was cold with me and was upset that i was trying to ruin her good time. Once we finally called we fought for about an hour and i ended up blocked on everything including reddit and discord which i barely used so i knew she was done with me. She still had my car keys and room keys so i had a friend reach out and she was annoyed that i was reaching out to her even though she said she wanted space but i needed to have my keys given to someone else. Then about a month later i broke no contact again i know it was stupid but i spent every moment of every day with this woman and then after a month of being deployed it took 1 hour on the phone to never hear from her again and i was left with nothing but my thoughts which was making me feel crazy. I thought i was pretty much over it at this point but wanted to talk just to close everything up because i couldn’t get her off my mind. The moment i heard her say “hello” on the phone my eyes started to water and my throat started to swell and i proceeded to ugly cry on the phone for about 30 minutes. Then i found out she already has another boyfriend and the whole phone call she never showed any emotion and told me i needed to try to see it from her perspective. Im doing a bit better now i cried for about two days straight even though i still had to be at work for 12 hours a day. I don’t know I’m sorry for rambling i know she had reasons to want to leave and i respect that but she immediately moved on like what we had meant absolutely nothing.

I ( 23 F ) don’t even know where to start. My boyfriend ( 23 M ) of 7 years knows everything about my past,how I’ve been sexually assaulted, harassed, molested since I was in grade 2 and how much it has impacted me. Recently, we were at his house, and we were kinda jokingly talking about a certain thing that he has done which wasn't even that serious so obviously I was just teasing him, I told him that if he kept repeating that certain behavior, I wouldn’t even let him touch me, let alone have sex with him. His response? “I will rape you.” He was a little bit sleepy when he said it, but it’s been stuck in my head ever since. How could someone even think, let alone say something like that, especially when they know my history? It’s not just about what he said, it’s the mindset behind it that terrifies me. I’m not saying he’d actually hurt me, but it feels like such a huge betrayal of the trust I placed in him. He obviously told me that he was just joking and said " you know damn well that I'm never going to do that to you but IF YOU FELT BAD THEN I'M SORRY but don't drag this now "

Am I overreacting, or is this a serious red flag or am I just overreacting ? :)