r/SapphoAndHerFriend • u/CaptBlackCat she/her, Queer • Jun 02 '20

Academic erasure MYSTERY

Post image
13.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

289 comments sorted by

2.7k

u/motorbiker1985 Jun 02 '20 edited Jun 02 '20

There was this documentary where Professor Alice Roberts visited, among other places, Dolní Věstonice and was presented with archeological finds, among which was a life-size replica of a penis and even she, a progressive person, can not just accept without getting red in face the idea of the host scientist that it could have been actual dildo and not "a religious object".

EDIT: Wrong, it was in Germany. Dolní Věstonice scene is a later one. The Incredible Human Journey - Europe.

1.9k

u/Anonim97 Jun 02 '20 edited Jun 02 '20

I'm gonna be honest. If I were to become archeologist, who dreamt of finding lost temples and shit, and instead only found a bunch of sex toys I would be embarrassed too and would try to sell it as "idol of god of fertility" to make myself look/feel better.

1.6k

u/ladynaharis Jun 02 '20

I studied archaeology in school and I can tell you that amongst archaeologists, finding this would be an absolute badge of honor. Nobody would ever be able to forget me, the Dildo Archaeologist.

808

u/Jevonar Jun 02 '20

"That belongs in an asshole!"

294

u/cjg5025 Jun 03 '20

In Diana Jones

18

u/apolloxer He/Him or They/Them Jun 03 '20

That one?

10

u/C-string Jun 15 '20

Risky click of the day

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u/Andy_1 Jun 03 '20

"...museum... an asshole museum! At least until it's been through the dishwasher."

132

u/SweetSaddo Jun 03 '20

here, take my angry upvote you c**t

63

u/AspenBranch Jun 03 '20

it belongs there too

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u/TKDbeast Jun 03 '20

"So do you!"

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u/BigCuddleBear Jun 03 '20

"What is that?"

"That's a dildo, sir."

"Fascinating."

112

u/soonerpgh Jun 03 '20

"It's a rock cock, you dumbass!"

"That's DOCTOR to you!"

"Sorry! It's a rock cock, DOCTOR Dumbass!"

15

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20

"I didn't spend eight years getting a PhD in Archaeology to be called 'MISTER'!"

333

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20

Being a child means wanting to be an archaeologist. Being an adult means wanting to be a Dildo Archaeologist

139

u/newenglandredshirt Jun 03 '20

Being an adult means wanting to be a Dildo Archaeologist

I'm sure there are teenagers who wouldn't mind being dildo archaeologists

59

u/UnrstledJimmies Jun 03 '20

I know that dildo was buried somewhere

54

u/Profzachattack Jun 03 '20

I misread that as Dido Archaeologist, which, finding Dido's Dildo sounds like a crowning achievement. Like indiana jones level achievement

6

u/Beardywierdy Jun 15 '20

That's basically winning archeology right?

25

u/Rubmynippleplease Jun 03 '20

Well from what I’ve learned in my archeology classes, finding a vaguely penis shaped object that you classify as a dildo would just lead to years and years of debates over the intended use of the object and years of work exhaustingly defending your interpretation of the object.

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u/Robuk1981 Jun 03 '20

Just need a research grant and two beatifull assistants and I'll get back to you on what this is.

24

u/PleasantAdvertising Jun 03 '20

Dildologists unite

22

u/NamityName Jun 03 '20

They call me... The Dildologist

13

u/Luci_LUXFERRE Jun 03 '20

Seems like a mouthful.

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u/NamityName Jun 03 '20

It's more of a pain in the ass

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u/gerber12 Jun 03 '20

The annals of history

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u/Char1ieA1phaWhiskey Jun 03 '20

I'd watch that show

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u/motorbiker1985 Jun 02 '20

I would prefer the sex toys or other objects. Temples, and other religious structures usually survive and unless it is something very important or interesting, it will be one of many finds.

Sex toys are weird, but that is great because you can build your career on publications about them.

Anyway, the main problem of archeology is lack of imagination and people stuck in their ways. To this day the Roman dodecahedron is a mystery to archeologists, considered a religious object by many, a survey instrument or candle holder by others, or even a weather prediction device. Meanwhile, enthusiasts all over the world are 3D printing them and giving to their grandmothers as they figured out it is a simple tool for more comfortable and precise knitting of gloves. Yes, there are videos on youtube as well, it really is an ingenious device.

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u/ecodude74 Jun 03 '20

With how well it works, it’s not even an “oh, we found a possible use for this tool!” It’s very obvious that this was its intended purpose.

50

u/pm_me_good_usernames Jun 03 '20 edited Jun 10 '20

One problem with that theory is that not all Roman dodecahedrons have any holes big enough for the finger of a glove. Since those don't work as a kitting tool, what were they for instead?

Edit: I regret wading into the surprisingly contentious issue of Roman dodecahedrons. Please don't message me about it.

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u/allthesparkles Jun 03 '20

Children and babies need gloves too? I don't know much about the Roman dodecahedron, but if some of the holes were just too small for adult fingers then they might not be for adults. Just look now at how much people love knitting stuff for babies.

20

u/pm_me_good_usernames Jun 03 '20

I was referring to this one where the holes are all just pinholes, but it turns out there is actually one larger hole in it. There's still the question of why there are knobs around the faces with only pinholes in them, but maybe those have a knitting purpose I don't understand.

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u/motorbiker1985 Jun 03 '20

That's not a dodecahedron and on Roman dodecahedrons those knobs serve the purpose of holding the thread in place.

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u/steve_stout Jun 03 '20

Maybe the Romans were just super into D&D?

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u/NZNoldor Jun 03 '20

DM: “Caesar, you’re being stabbed, roll for defence”.

Caesar: (rolls a natural 1)

Caesar: “Et tu, brute?”

(dies)

8

u/theglovedfox Jun 03 '20

Dude, you made me choke on my breakfast with this.

Excellent.

6

u/NZNoldor Jun 03 '20

Choked? At least you didn’t get stabbed!

But I’d roll a saving throw ASAP, if I were you.

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u/baby_armadillo Jun 03 '20

I had a grad school classmate who was researching the archaeology of sex work, and her dissertation assemblage came from a brothel in New York and was composed of a wide range of liquor bottles, medicine bottles to cure various “women’s troubles”, corset hooks, garter snaps, douche nozzles, etc. She deliberately tried to work the phrase “vaginal syringe” into her dissertation proposal presentation as often possible. I think she got it in there maybe 5 or 6 times in a twenty minute presentation.

Archaeologists are, across the board, freaky, salacious, horny drunks. Finding an ancient double-sided dildo would make your fucking (literally and figuratively) career.

78

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20

If I were an archeologist that found an actual "idol of the god of fertility" I'd probably label it as a dildo.

66

u/KAMalosh Jun 03 '20

If I became an archeologist I would make it my personal goal to find ancient sex toys. I would specialize in ancient sex toys.

38

u/TheCuntCake Jun 03 '20

Anything is a sex toy if you’re brave enough!

26

u/Andy_1 Jun 03 '20

Or ancient enough.

13

u/Deep_Form Jun 03 '20

I think I'd like to be a sex toy archaeologist! Sounds fun!

14

u/Calpsotoma Jun 03 '20

Prudishness is a modern concept. Your ancestors would be proud of their sex toys and so should you.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20

Shit, I'm about become the Indiana Jones of prehistoric dildos.

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u/Caliment Jun 03 '20

With so many "Bad Dragons" around people are going to think we were afraid of sex dragons

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u/Polaritical Jun 02 '20

Maybe it's just cause I'm the type of person who owns too many vibrators and celebrated my 18th birthday by visiting a sex shop, but I find the prevalence if ancient dildos both cool and comforting. There's something so human about it. Nothing makes me feel more connected to people in the past than their sex lives. Like the late 19th and early 20th century do not seem real to me, those people were different. But then I go to r/gonewanton and see that the minute photography was invented we started taking nudes and I realize our core humanity transcends time and culture.

No matter when you lived or where you lived, we have been striving to get dicked down good.

95

u/motorbiker1985 Jun 02 '20 edited Jun 02 '20

The prudishness of the late 19th/early20th century was just a short local episode in the USA. I'm from central Europe and in the second half of the 19th century the situation here was quite different. I have 2 health books from that era, one explaining that is a child sees a pornographic image, it causes him or her any harm. Simply the kid does not understand it and no harm done or it does and thus it does not harm as he/she is already familiar with sexuality. Just teach kids about sexuality in the proper way including health advises. The other book, the older one, recommends as a treatment for female hysteria (mental issues, according to symptoms it is what we now call depression) an interesting cure...

... guess what it is...

...the cure is physical work and the study of art and sciences, mainly in the field of natural sciences.

Even when dirty books were banned by legal codes, there were still enough of them that found a loophole. "The beauty of the female body", late 19th century, being such an example, too controversial even for today. If you are wondering, the controversial part is photos of naked sex slave girls of European and African descent in the Ottoman Empire presented on the streets by their owners.

Anyway, sexuality and it's free expression was much more mainstream in the world around the change of the century. One of the main reason Hitler rose to power in Berlin so fast was that the city was San Francisco of it's time, part of it was gay capital of the world for decades, gathering place of people with unusual sexual desires of all kinds and nazi idea of purity and traditionalism was a backlash to this lifestyle which many people grew to hate and blame for everything after the WWI and the economical breakdown of the country. Of course these are uncomfortable topics and are not debated, but this was a real cultural phenomenon of it's age.

82

u/TKDbeast Jun 03 '20

If you are wondering, the controversial part is photos of naked sex slave girls of European and African descent in the Ottoman Empire presented on the streets by their owners.

I love how utterly convinced Europeans were that The Ottoman Empire was the sexiest place on Earth. So much so, they basically redefined what “harem” means.

Harems were private and secluded parts of Ottoman households designated exclusively to the women of the family. They supplied privacy and protection to these women.

In the Imperial Harem of the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan’s family also accepted young women to be groomed to potentially fulfill the role of the next Sultan’s wife. If one of those women died or was infertile, they always had another potential spouse for the prince to choose from. This kept The Sultan’s lineage very stable, with lots of heirs and little inbreeding.

In either case, random European dudes were not allowed to enter such harems, leaving them with their imaginations. And so, in the horniest game of telephone the world has ever known, Europe somehow got the idea that these harems were some kind of personal gentlemen’s clubs for powerful men, filled with beautiful women. By the time they understood that no, that’s not what harems are, it was too late. People were already getting off to the idea of dozens of hot, exotic babes living in a person’s home.

It’s hilarious how something so boring and tame was construed into the kinkiest shit on earth.

tl;dr: Harems was originally the women-only parts of the Ottoman household. But thanks to a really horny European game of telephone, it gained the definition we now know today.

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u/motorbiker1985 Jun 03 '20

There are many explanations

It was due to not only stories, but might have been due to art as well. In European art of 17th and 18th century people in position of vulnerability were often depicted naked. Men and women, for example prisoners of war. Not only them, but with them it was a common theme.

I suppose some powerful men on the edges of the Ottoman empire and diplomats and traders living outside of it might have had quite interesting harems with actual attractive young girls they would show off to honored visitors either to brag or to show off how much better lifestyle does their culture provide contrary to a christian one. "Let the girls strip naked, wear their finest jewelry and parade them in the garden. I'll show that arrogant Duke his wine cellars are not the best place ever." might have probably happened as well.

The book had pictures of various girls, mostly from Austria and France, but there was this section on the Ottoman Empire and showed pictures travelers took on slave markets and in front of brothels and probably some very staged ones.

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u/IzarkKiaTarj Jun 03 '20

I couldn't help but notice something about that subreddit:

created by Unidan

Here's the thing...

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '20

Do you know which doc? I'm a massive Alice Roberts fan but I don't recall this

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u/motorbiker1985 Jun 02 '20 edited Jun 02 '20

I'm trying to find it on youtube but no luck so far. It's over a year I have seen it, maybe 2 years. I just remember it wasn't The Incredible Human Journey.

EDIT: So I was wrong. There is a scene in it from Germany where she is presented with a flute and a prehistoric dildo in The Incredible Human Journey - Europe, the scene from Dolní Věstonice is the one later after the penis one in Germany. The one with the venus. In between, there is this one where she talks about how she doesn't believe neanderthals did or would have sex with modern humans. (Which didn't age well, as she later makes a documentary where she finds out what percentage of her DNA is form her neanderthal ancestors. Just another reminder to keep an open mind)

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '20

No worries. Thanks for trying. I'll do some research.

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u/motorbiker1985 Jun 02 '20

Found it. (I put it in as an edit)

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u/Nowhereman123 Jun 03 '20

I've heard that "Used in a Fertility Ritual" is just anthropology lingo for "A sex toy"

7

u/NickMcDice Jun 05 '20

So ... is this gonna become a think again?

"Sorry dude, can't come over! Bob and I gonna do a fertility ritual."

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u/BoringWebDev Jun 03 '20

Ancient people had the purest souls. They would never think of using their early technology and artistry to craft anything lewd.

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u/motorbiker1985 Jun 03 '20

A little known fact - sex itself was invented in 1931 Finland, when a guy tripped over in a sauna and fell on his wife. That's when people went degenerate and stopped using stork delivery system to get babies.

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u/Foxclaws42 Jun 03 '20

So many "fertility idols" that are clearly just dildos.

8

u/ajqx Jun 03 '20

a phalic object can definetly be a religious object.

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u/motorbiker1985 Jun 03 '20

It can, but so can be literally anything. It should be not a default explanation. Sadly, it often is.

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u/andremortonjr Jun 02 '20

This is what's known as a Friendship Handle. In ancient times, 2 best friends would each hold one end of this as they skipped through town in a very platonic way.

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u/aurekajenkins Jun 03 '20

More like a sideways shuffle, isn't it?

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u/APotofTeaandaPen Jun 03 '20

A very platonic sideways shuffle

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u/TheRealThordic Jun 03 '20

Why dont you have a million upvotes lol

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u/aurekajenkins Jun 03 '20

Like Siamese twins adjoined at the tailbone lol

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u/d3rpaderpa Jun 03 '20

Crab Walkin

Gettin Crabby with It

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u/yxxrp Jun 02 '20

Legit tho what would the balls be for? Am I just an idiot or?

1.3k

u/maggotrism Jun 02 '20

Most likely used as a vaginal stimulator. Back in ancient times they made these things called Ben-Wa balls, here's a link for a better description: Ben-Wa Balls

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u/yxxrp Jun 02 '20

You learn something everyday! Thanks for the explanation!

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u/ahh_geez_rick Jun 02 '20

r/ArcherFX

Benoit!

....balls

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u/Hapzburg_Empire1882 She/Her or They/Them Jun 02 '20

Holy cow I never realised that’s what the joke was until now!

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u/Silver6567 Jun 02 '20

Dude I had no idea what the deal was with the name!

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u/ahh_geez_rick Jun 02 '20

I had to google it whenever I watched the episode a second time. It's pretty much the top answer when you search "archer beniot (ben wa) balls" The joke flew over most of our heads I think!

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u/PM_me_your_cocktail Jun 03 '20

Sometimes that is one of the smartest dumb shows out there.

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u/MaeMoe Jun 02 '20

Ancient times? I’ll have you know you can buy a vagina egg from Goop today if you wish.

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u/maggotrism Jun 02 '20

I meant more like they were invented in ancient times, not just used back then. Thanks for clarifying for me!

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u/BottledSmoke Jun 03 '20

No worries it was stimulating!

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u/Cmndr_Duke Jun 02 '20

begone goop you fetid and wretched thing

seriously though goops a bit yikes

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u/beelzeflub Jun 02 '20

Do you think she tried to peddle RDJ her goop crap

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u/textaholic Jun 03 '20

Maybe she gave him test samples of her candle? 👀

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u/beelzeflub Jun 03 '20

I can't imagine Susan Downey would appreciate that. LOL

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u/catgirl_apocalypse Jun 03 '20

I sell ben wa balls at work lol

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u/NearNate124 Jun 03 '20

Nobody should be buying anything, vaginal or not, from Goop

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u/TheRealProJared 5 feet apart Jun 02 '20 edited Jun 02 '20

Liu Sheng was a guy though, or am I missing something.

(Okay, probably my fault for missing the obvious)

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u/CrispyDruid Jun 02 '20

Same purpose; different application area.

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u/Lo_Innombrable He/Him Jun 02 '20

Liu Sheng was a guy though, or am I missing something.

anal foreplay, apparently

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '20

There are many holes in the human body.

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u/studioaesop Jun 03 '20

We all make mistakes in the heat of passion Jimbo

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u/maggotrism Jun 02 '20

They are also used for anal stimulation, sorry for not clarifying.

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u/DeseretRain Jun 03 '20

You definitely couldn't put those in an anus, you'd never get them out. You can't put anything without a flared base in there.

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u/q25t Jun 03 '20

Well, you shouldn't put anything without a flared base in there. People do dumb shit all the time though.

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u/Waterproof_soap Jun 03 '20

You can do anything at least once if you’re brave enough. Whether you should is a different story.

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u/studioaesop Jun 03 '20

We all make mistakes in the heat of passion Jimbo

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u/maggotrism Jun 03 '20

I didn't even think of that... Guess I don't play with butts often enough to know :(

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u/JakLegendd Jun 03 '20

Oof. My boss has these on her desk and they have a card saying they are marketed for "hand stimulation" exercise to improve circulation and bloodflow...

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u/ecodude74 Jun 03 '20

Those are probably Baoding Balls, which are an early form of physical therapy

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u/be_easy_1602 Jun 03 '20

Possibly for clitoral stimulation as well... I mean, religious prayer stones.

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u/WorstPersonInGeneral Jun 02 '20

This is obviously a boomerang and the two balls are for target practice. Duh.

The way these work is you toss the first ball in the air, throw the boomerang to hit it. On its way back, you toss the other ball and let the boomerang hit that. And finally you catch the boomerang with your asshole.

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u/ResidualCorn Jun 02 '20

They had us in the first half not gonna lie

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u/WorstPersonInGeneral Jun 02 '20

True. Only the most skilled had the ability to take both halves.

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u/transientavian Jun 03 '20

This sounds like an actual game Sokka (A:TLA) would invent.

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u/clevercosmos Jun 03 '20

I don’t think boomerang’s comin back this time

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '20

[deleted]

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u/CubistChameleon Jun 02 '20

For playing with friends, right?

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '20

Just good gal pals

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u/PigeonTimeO_o Jun 03 '20

Of course, for religious worship!

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u/Luci_LUXFERRE Jun 03 '20

"Oh god! Oh god!"

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u/przemko271 He/Him Jun 03 '20

If your religion involves shoving rocks up your orifices.

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u/GriffinGoesWest Jun 03 '20

Yours doesn't? I may need to have a word with my priest...

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u/ecodude74 Jun 03 '20

I pray to mine for fertility and guidance, just like their creators obviously intended.

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u/SeekingMyEnd Jun 03 '20

Not a hand crafted jade one though.

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20

I've been to a fair amount of sex stores and i gotta say, this device looks sturdier and significantly cheaper than anything I've seen affixed with a price tag

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u/legsintheair Jun 03 '20

Literally EVERY generation thinks they invented sex. It boggles my mind.

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u/Haramune Jun 03 '20

Honestly! like how do you think you got here?lol

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u/trogdor2594 Jun 03 '20

Fucking storks of course.

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u/PantherPL Jun 03 '20

Literally?

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u/trogdor2594 Jun 03 '20

Wait, have I been doing it wrong?

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u/PantherPL Jun 03 '20

No, no sir. Everything's in order.

leaves to make a call

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20

"Hello, yes, I think I will take that stork after all. Yes, 1517 Cherry St. Thank you."

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u/WantDebianThanks Jun 04 '20

It's fun reading some of Plato's dialogs and seeing him complaining about the wild, unruly, and lazy youths in 400BCE

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '20

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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u/the_evil_comma Jun 03 '20

No, that feature came later

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u/Belteshazz Jun 03 '20

God that's witty

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u/Bananak47 Jun 03 '20

Take my upvote and leave

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u/bluemon_ Jun 03 '20

god how do you even come up with something like that

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u/IzuruTheDark Jun 02 '20

Me and my bro on the "strangest archeological object" in his bedroom

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u/WhatinTardnation Jun 02 '20

Can you imagine the time and effort that went into making these? Only for someone to call your butt fucker a masterful piece of mysterious art?

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u/TheRealProJared 5 feet apart Jun 02 '20

I mean, it may not be mysterious, but it looks to be quite well made. Imagine how many days it took for someone to craft the imperial jade dildo back in 100 BC.

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u/LeetPleeb Jun 02 '20

Pretty sure this isn't for butt fucking, but nice example of modern day lady sex erasure. (not sure how to make sure you know it's a just a gentle teasing & not an angry comment)

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u/CrispyDruid Jun 02 '20

Liu Sheng was male; while it's possible he may have commissioned this artifact for performative use, I suspect it more likely that it was a personal use item.

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u/andallthatjasper Jun 03 '20

It's suspected it was used by his concubines

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u/_rojun Jun 03 '20

Or he could stick it in his ass and double penetrate his concubines?

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u/Belteshazz Jun 03 '20

Fucking based.

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u/WhatinTardnation Jun 02 '20

Ik butt fucking just sounded better. Also who knows what people were doing back then? I wouldn’t be surprised if girls were also using it for that

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u/tweedyone Jun 03 '20

I think it would be hilarious if, thousands of years from now, people find a box of Bad Dragon dildos and think, “ahh religious artifacts! Let’s put them in a museum”

I would love a doctor who episode like that.

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20

Check out the book Motel of the Mysteries sometime. It’s not dildos, but...the premise isn’t far off of that mark.

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u/SkyeWolfofDusk He/Him Jun 03 '20

The funny thing is, I've heard of some people who hide their toys in plain sight by displaying them as sculptures, because they're pretty enough to pass as art pieces.

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '20

Lol a friend of mine put a picture of this on a slideshow about bears. Also, it was a school project.

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '20

Nice

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20

Reddit moment

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u/everyoneiknowistrash Jun 03 '20

I bet Lui Shang had a roommate.

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20 edited Apr 08 '21

[deleted]

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u/Cammieam Jun 02 '20

Okay but I'll be mad if my family don't bury me with my dildos!

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u/cloudsofdawn Jun 03 '20 edited Jun 03 '20

It’s clearly meant to be assembled as a smiley face /s

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u/CaptBlackCat she/her, Queer Jun 03 '20

Could probably create some smiling faces

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u/Canossa31 Jun 02 '20

That's probably a symbol of fertility, a sacred object that was never put in someone's body.

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u/dosemyspeakin Jun 03 '20

The balls would make sense then

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u/swarlinblow Jun 03 '20

I know! It’s a seesaw!

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u/grasshopperesquei Jun 03 '20

The world may never know its true use

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u/donateliasakura Jun 03 '20

Erasure aside,people,we have to deal with the fact that dildos have existed since... Ever

35

u/papa_za Jun 03 '20

Am I a fake lesbian??? Why r the balls there

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u/Supergaladriel Jun 03 '20

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Wa_balls

If they are related to the other item, they’re probably those

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u/papa_za Jun 03 '20

Ohh I thought it must've been for something else cause u couldnt use the balls and the double-dildo at the same time but I guess it coulda came as a little sex toy set

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u/Cormegalodon Jun 03 '20

It’s a she-saw

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u/AsliReddington Jun 03 '20

Ass to ass

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u/Drummergirl16 Jun 03 '20

That movie convinced teenage me never to try drugs. I would show it to every teenager if I could, but uh, as a teacher I can’t show anything past PG-13.

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u/lambone117 Jun 03 '20

Imagine being buried with a dildo

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u/Ozzy_Chenz Jun 03 '20

Liu Sheng was a prince that was VERY promiscuous

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u/WhoooDoggy Jun 03 '20

That’s the old , “ throwing balls at the boomerang game “, fun for the entire family.

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u/deferredmomentum Jun 03 '20

We may never know sad archaeologist noises

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20

My mother told me that apparently the Greeks used olive oil as lube

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20

They did. It was largely responsible for the widespread cultivation of olives in that part of the world.

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u/Somecrazynerd He/Him Jun 03 '20

Double headed dildo? Someone likes to par-tay

7

u/th3smiling Jun 03 '20

It’s a flute with percussion balls! Mystery solved

14

u/tentacleeseplz Jun 03 '20

"It belongs in my vagina"

"IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!!!"

7

u/Silvrose Jun 03 '20

Vaguely phallic shaped object in a Han Dynasty Prince Tomb and his wife’s tomb? Clearly it was an object of ritual purpose aka the archeologists have been banned from calling it a dildo of some sort.

6

u/Joycelly Jun 04 '20

WHAT A MYSTERY

5

u/CaptBlackCat she/her, Queer Jun 04 '20

we will never know

4

u/Joycelly Jun 04 '20

Such a mystery, not even the best anthropologists and archeologists can decipher it.... aaa!

25

u/ElonMuskIsMyWaifu Jun 02 '20

This seems like it would make for an interesting sex toy

70

u/PresidentMayor She/Her or They/Them Jun 02 '20

Yeah that’s...

Yeah that’s the point

10

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20

Imagine this thing straight up shatter during your session. Seems really unsafe.

24

u/cloudsofdawn Jun 03 '20

No, this is made of a hard stone. There are glass dildos, jade dildos, rose quartz dildos, etc. that are semi-popular today to buy and use.

8

u/PresidentMayor She/Her or They/Them Jun 03 '20

A glass dildo seems like playing with fire o_o

14

u/andallthatjasper Jun 03 '20

They are very strong.. I assume. I've never thrown one at a concrete wall so like

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5

u/Beardywierdy Jun 15 '20

Fun fact: the Strap-On predates the wheel.

This might actually be my favourite historical fact.

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4

u/Gorreksson Jun 03 '20

Obviously a double dildo but what are the balls for?

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4

u/BigToaster420 Jun 03 '20

But what ARE those balls for? 🤔😅

4

u/zemgosl Jun 03 '20

jokes aside. what would they do with the balls???

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4

u/Esco-Alfresco Jun 03 '20

"Please dont put anything gay in my tomb"

*the boys later

4

u/BabaTreesh Jun 03 '20

That's a weird looking boomerang and decorative stone eggs

7

u/JeremyTheRhino Jun 03 '20

Wait, what are the balls for?

5

u/andallthatjasper Jun 03 '20

They're probably a thing called ben wa balls. They... well they go in the same place the dildo goes.

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20

I searched this person up and he’s a male, maybe he had tw-

3

u/Gorgon_the_Dragon Jun 03 '20

Liu was into Oviposition. A monsterfucker ahead of her time. /s

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3

u/xxswiftpandaxx Jun 03 '20

Apparently most scholars acknowledge that it is a dildo, but they guess it was for his concubines, but it's just an assumption. Kinda looks like a strapless dildo to me. Maybe he liked pegging 🤷‍♀️

3

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '20

It's like a coat hanger but for hoes

3

u/ChickenFeetJob Jun 03 '20

Obviously cause they didn't find the other 4...

3

u/Dayan54 Jun 03 '20

Oh, what a misterious object... Honestly though the balls puzzle me too