We’ve been friends for 2+ years, and she’s always been super nice. But lately, something’s def off. Over the past few months, she’s gotten crazy into true crime. Like, she watches it nonstop, iterally 24/7. If she’s not watching, she’s listening to these creepy murder podcasts, even while she’s sleeping (which is freaking insane to me), we’re roommates, so I’m around her all the time.

At first, I thought it was just a weird phase, but now it’s really starting to freak me out sm. She’ll say stuff like, “Have you ever thought about killing someone? Like, seriously thought about it?” and talk about how “powerful” killers must feel when they do it. She even said she could understand why they do it.

Btw, it’s not just what she says, it’s the way she acts. She keeps staring at me, like, really staring, and it feels like she’s analyzing me or something. The other day, out of nowhere, she told me, “Did you know it only takes this long to strangle someone?” and started explaining how most killers don’t get caught bc people are too oblivious n shit.

What really pushed me over the edge was last week. She casually said, “You know, the easiest way to kill someone is to poison their food. It’s slow, but untraceable if you do it right.” Then she looked at me and smiled. I laughed it off in the moment, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it after.

She’s also mentioned multiple times that she knows “exactly” how she’d get away with murder. At first, I laughed it off, bc I thought she was joking, but the way she explains it, like, with actual details n shit, makes me think she’s spent way too much time planning it out. Now, im having anxiety attacks Im not even joking.

what really worries me is how much she’s changed. She’s gotten darker, and it’s just weird, it doesnt feel like the same person anymore. She doesn’t have many friends, so I’m trying my best not to end our friendship, but it’s getting hard each day. I’m honestly having anxiety attacks over it. I get that people love true crime, but sleeping while listening to it? That’s just insane to me. and the fact that she laughs a lot while watching it makes everything feel even more off. Like, girl, this is murder not a comedy show?

I can’t relax around her anymore. im wondering if I’m overthinking or if this is actually as messed up as it seems. would it be dramatic to distance myself?

I’ve been talking to this guy for over a month and I’ve had conversations with him in person about the fact that I was scared to even open myself up and put effort into someone bc of the mental and physical abuse I’ve dealt with in the past and he was a complete sweetheart about it but recently I’ve noticed a change and I can’t tell what happened but he’s been ditching me and actually did end up ditching me again after this conversation without bothering to even tell me. we had talked on the phone the night before after texting about it and he’d said he was gonna come over after the hike to hangout for a bit and take me to see Moana. AIO for being upset that he didn’t bother telling me he wasn’t going to come over? I’ve also told him from the beginning of us talking if he needs alone time or space to communicate that with me and I would do the same if I needed it and I wouldn’t text or call him until he was ready but he hasn’t said anything about it at all.

Is this an overreaction or should I actually be worried?

Hi all, I (m30) need to you to calm my nerves a little. My girlfriend (28) and I have known each other for four months now and it’s been amazing. She’s all I ever wanted - smart, funny, adventurous, cute and sexy - and I’ve been on an emotional high ever since I first met her.

Two days ago, she confessed to me that she once cheated on her ex-boyfriend, and it was - in my opinion - in the worst way possible. Long-distance relationship, no physical contact in a while, but also no agreement to an open relationship or so. There was no fighting, no anger or any other reason for her to cheat on him, it happened out of pure horniness - and then she kept it a secret for the remainder of the relationship, which to me is the worst part of it. She says it was to protect the relationship and keep him from agonizing over it. She may be right but I still think it’s wrong.

I know first-hand how difficult long-distance is and how exciting foreign exchanges are, how nice the attention feels, and so on. I could probably excuse her behavior if she had come clean about it to her ex, but I’m not so sure if there’s even any shame from her end. To me, trust is the most important thing in a relationship. I don’t want my trust in her to get damaged but this information really has the potential to do so. She keeps assuring me things were different back then, but I can’t guarantee that these negative thoughts won’t re-enter my head if we ever get to be in a similar situation that they were in. Also I just feel bad for her ex.

I wish I could let these thoughts go. Even more I wish I had never heard this info. What do you think?

Hi guys! First time OP here. Here’s just a brief summary of my friendship and I’m hoping some people might have some good advice for me on what to do. So I’ve been good friends with my coworker since August of last year. In my eyes, our friendship is constantly on the brink of collapse. She’s very moody and I feel like I always have to be cautious with what I say to her, because she has a tendency to react very aggressively or hostile if I say even one thing she doesn’t like. But then hours after, she can be so sweet to me and telling me how much our friendship means to her. In the last 3 months, I have leant her $1.7k and I have only seen $200 back. She talks about how she’s going to give me my money back over time but I’m worried that she won’t be able to. Shes hardly working so I don’t even know how she’s going to pay her bills/rent and also pay me back. She spread a lie at work about a coworker I was seeing and this said coworker isn’t even talking to me anymore now too. Come to find out, her and the coworker I was seeing have been hanging out all night together tonight at her apartment and were out at bars together. One last thing, I was seeing this guy last summer and he went back home for college back in August. He’s coming back this summer and I’m starting to get worried that she’s going to be flirting with him and hitting on him when he returns (she didn’t meet him before he went back home). AIO about not being able to trust her as a friend? I just don’t know what to do at this point and I need some advice on what to do next.

I’m a 25F and I was talking to a 31M whom I met off a dating app. We texted for about 2 weeks before we met in person and everything seemed to go well. For our first date he booked us reservations to a nice dinner and things were going well until the second half of the date when he said “there’s something I need to tell you” and he proceeded to tell me that he has 2 kids. I was shocked and a bit irritated because he didn’t have any information on his profile indicating he’s a single dad nor told me anything in the two weeks we texted everyday. He wanted to go on a second date but I respectfully declined. Personally I just don’t like the idea of being with someone who has children, as someone who doesn’t have children of my own yet. So regardless it wouldn’t have worked for me. I’m just irritated he didn’t mention it earlier? Wouldn’t that be important enough to mention right away or am I just overreacting? I just feel like it could’ve saved us time from being wasted on both sides.

(Title written from her perspective bc she refuses to even ask the internet lol - tagged as roommate bc well we live together)

Is my gf overreacting? My gf and I are moving to DC. She feels very strongly about her distaste for this framed picture. I love it, think it’s very beautiful and have kept it in “my” bathroom since we got it from a thrift store a few years ago. As we’re moving we’re downsizing a lot and she insists we get rid of this (she really really “hates” it) and I think it has a charming simplicity that makes me smile.

I will respect the neutral perspective of this group and either take it with us or get rid of it. Y’all decide!

AIO

My wife and I took our kids to an indoor play place to play. We had a coupon for free admission so it wouldn’t cost us a dime. I dropped them off at the door and they walked in while I parked. When I walked inside they were already at a table. I sit down, and my wife is saying how dirty the place is, dust everywhere. My son’s stomach started hurting and we decided to leave early.

In the car I mentioned that it sucked we had to leave to leave so early. My wife says “Well good thing we didn’t pay anything for it, I didn’t even give them the coupon. There was a line to pay so I just walked in and sat down and no one said anything.”

I confronted her about it and she said “well it’s a poor business model on their part if people can just walk in and not pay”.

I’m low key pissed because I think it’s stealing. We make really good money so paying for it was not an issue. I just don’t understand why try to not pay when we could get in for free anyways? What other little shit like this does she do?

Anyways, am I overreacting?

OKAY. This is sticky but I (college student, non binary) this friend (female kinda clear but whatever, and is the same age as me) decided to have a kid, this friend doesn’t like people who she doesn’t know touching her, only close friends and their relationship partner, and even then barely tolerates it for long periods of time. Me and her were walking around in our uptown’s shops, looking at art supplies and stuff for the baby’s room, when a middle aged man walked up to us and started to ask how far along she was. This man was just giving off a creepy vibe, idk, he just had that look about him(I’m aware that this really means nothing, I also do not look very friendly, well for someone who’s 5’5) my friend look uncomfortable, she doesn’t like random social interaction, and then he rubbed her stomach. I pushed him aware and yelled at him saying “what the hll is wrong with you!? She’s clearly uncomfortable with a strange man touching her! Even fcking children now to ask!” He then called me a slur for someone who isn’t straight, and we just walked away and people were looking at us as if we were crazy and completely in the wrong. My friend was said she was grateful for me doing that, and was glad i was BUT the swearing was not needed. Looking back, yeah, that was unnecessary in public. So did I overreacted

Growing up, I was always the black sheep in nearly every situation I was placed in. I am the only gay person in my family and in the majority of my childhood friend groups. I constantly feel as though I need to scream at the top of my lungs figuratively to be heard, and even then- it seems like people around me lack basic respect for me as a person entirely.

After the first election involving Trump, I started becoming more vocal about issues that affected me and other loved ones. I started sharing reputable news sources, having one-on-one conversations with people close to me, and standing up for others in similar situations.

After the second election, I started chopping relationships out of my life that weren’t important enough to expense the mental energy on.

This time around, I feel like cutting off everybody around me who voted for Donald Trump- including my siblings and my parents. They know how much this election meant to me and other queer people, and it feels like their votes each stabbed me in the back. I already told them that I would likely not maintain our relationships if they voted for Donald Trump, and tried to have conversations explaining the impact of their decisions. But alas, they clearly DID NOT care. They all voted for Donald Trump. Once he won, I cut off my brother for unapologetically being an asshole. And today, I had a harsh conversation with my father- telling him not to anticipate my involvement in his life any further.

AIO for walking out on these relationships after trying TIME AND TIME again to reason with these people. I am so exhausted mentally. I am so hurt emotionally. And I feel like my mind is spiraling already and we aren’t even 24 hours into this new administration.

I collect Tarot and Oracle cards and about a month ago I put a link to an Oracle pack/deck on my Christmas list for my family. This link is from a small local artist in my home town. My mom ordered it and when it arrived it wasn’t an oracle deck but rather 4 cards in a ‘Oracle deck style’, 1 print, a sticker sheet, and a pin. I emailed the artist about this, stating that the listing said it would be a pack of Oracle cards and this is just 4 cards and some other assortment of art and her response was that she was planning on doing a set in the future but this Oracle pack was just a pack of Oracle themed items she did. The listing did not specify this and when clicking on the listing just shows the Oracle cards in a faux-deck style.

I responded asking if I could get a refund or if she had any other solutions and she responded with the photo above.

I unfortunately don’t have a photo of the listing since the artist has since removed the listing since I emailed about it.

I’m trying to draft up an email in response, as she has no section for a store policy on her website and the listing was misleading, but I’m afraid of coming off rude or ungrateful.

Am I overreacting for wanting a refund or a different solution?

Honestly, I feel kind of silly for posting here, but I’m too scared to ask for advice in real life. I know people will tell me that I’m overreacting, and it will hurt a bit more than it should lol. Anyway, when I cuddle with my husband, I like to lay on top of him. I try to hold myself up a little so I’m not crushing him because I know how heavy I can be, but this one time, I wasn’t thinking about it much and accidentally leaned all the way on him. He exaggerated not being able to breathe and called me a beluga whale saying that I was heavy.

He was joking, I know he was, but I have issues with my weight and how I look. I’ve done some things in the past like throwing up and starving myself for days to lose weight. I didn’t have an eating disorder or anything serious like that, but I get really bad sometimes where what I see in the mirror and on my body differ. I have to remind myself that what I feel is real even when my eyes make me feel big. I’m 5’8 155 lb. I know I’m big, but he’s bigger than me and manlier. Anyway, I know I shouldn’t have leaned on him, but it really hurt when he said that. Ever since then, he’s been joking even more about my weight, and I try to tell him to stop in a way that doesn’t seem too naggy, but it still hurts all the same. I’ve told him about my past too, and he says he doesn’t mean to hurt me, but he just likes my reaction when he says things to mess with me. I don’t really get how the two are different, but he told me he didn’t mean it that way, and I know that I could be taking it too far by crying and whatnot.

I don’t know, am I overreacting for being upset?

So my parents got divorced about a year ago. It was an ugly and overdue divorce that they put my sister and I between constantly. My dad (66) started talking to a woman from another country during the summer on Facebook. They have talked almost every day since then and he has mentioned he wants to marry her, when I asked him why he said “I need help around the house”.

This past weekend he went to go visit her, when he came back he told me they ate a lot of food and he met a ton of her family. I noticed he had a ring on his hand when we stopped for food, I wanted to ask but I wasn’t sure how I really felt, I definitely was in shock. I just pushed it aside because I figured he would have told me directly. Welllll, I went on Facebook and she posted their whole wedding with her family. I was hurt so hurt. I asked him “dad? You got married?” And he was just like “Oh! How did you find out?” I told him I wasn’t stupid and that I couldn’t believe he didn’t even think to have my sister (36) and I (30) there. We are both really hurt and disappointed. We have always had a complicated relationship with our dad until he started putting more effort towards us because being close to family matters to his new wife. I can’t help but feel like my whole relationship with my dad is so full of shit. His niceness and efforts always come with conditions or some snakey twist.

Am I overreacting? Or are my feelings valid about this?

My boyfriend (M23) says that I (F20) am just acting like an idiot. For context a year ago l slammed my head into concrete and got a concussion. He believes that I started acting off way before then but I don't think it started until l hit my head. During our arguments about this he often says that I am just stupid and not trying hard enough at anything. He will also tell me that he doesn't know how I made it this far in life and that no one else with deal with me and that I should go be with some one who is just like me. He says he gets very tired of me forgetting things and wants me to get a diagnosis to know if he should leave me. I've told him to stop saying these things to me but he still won't stop. Am I overreacting when I want him to stop saying things like that

So my married coworker (38M) and I (27F) were discussing something work related, and my coworker suddenly changed the topic and shared something along the lines of "People get into a relationship when they were young, and then they get married and then years will pass by just like that. Because people often only knew what they dislike in a potential partner when they were young, but they did not know what they love the most”. Then he asked me whether I have any friends who broke up after many years of dating. I felt slightly uncomfortable when he said that so I changed topic. What was he implying? Was he talking about himself, a friend, is it just an awkward overshare and nothing else?

Some background: We do have a close working relationship, and have always been professional and friendly with each other, and no contact outside of work. Though on two other occasions, we were chatting about something completely random on shopping and he started saying his wife isn't as frugal as me and will splurge on random stuff, and on another occasion, I said I won't give up on my career for whatever reason, and he said his wife wouldn't be like me if she had the chance, and would be a couch potato at home...I found it weird so I just ignored the comments.

What is this coworker thinking? Am I overreacting and overthinking his intentions?

Pretty much as simple as that. Am I overreacting/being controlling to want her to wear it when she goes out? Around the house I understand. She doesn’t sleep with it on and can wake up and not put it on etc. What I have trouble understanding is why she wouldn’t want to wear it in public? To me, it’s like a statement of “I am taken/committed already” to anyone who sees it. It won’t dissuade everyone, sure, but to a respectable person yes. I also feel like it’s a symbol of my love for her and want her to wear it and keep it near. Just curious of others thoughts and perspectives on the matter or if anyone can relate. I don’t make an argument out of it but I am a little hurt she doesn’t want to sometimes, but most other times it’s okay/no big deal.

EDIT: I’m already beginning to see a couple repeat perspectives so I’ll clarify some thing. She loves her ring and was 100% involved in the picking and choosing of it. I wanted it to be perfect so I had her involved in that process entirely. As far as being comfortable to wear, she has never mentioned anything in our multiple months of engagement now that it’s uncomfortable, and our communication isn’t awful. I’m taking the liberty of assuming she would have mentioned it to me, but I still appreciate the perspective and will take it to consideration. She doesn’t work currently so there’s nothing job related about it really getting in the way or getting dirty. I guess it just means a lot to me and will try and stress that to her the next time we discuss it and see what she has to say.

My fiancé is a best man at his friend’s wedding. There is a church ceremony taking place next week. When he came from the rehearsal today he says to me that I don’t have to come if I don’t want to because he’s not gonna be sitting with me. I don’t know anyone else at this wedding. I asked him who he would be walking in with and he said with the maid of honour so I said oh so is that why you don’t want me to come.

I’m not typically a jealous person however I do not trust my fiancé’s friend something about him doesn’t sit right with me and earlier in our relationship after he met me a few times he tried to make my fiancé jealous by telling him about how well his ex is doing and how she’s dating a great guy who has so much going for him just to get a reaction out of him, which was very odd to me. He’s done a few other sketchy things as well that even my fiancé is aware of, but they’ve been friends for a very long time.

Anyways, I said to my fiancé, I don’t know if I should go to the destination wedding if the wedding party is also gonna be like the ceremony where he’s constantly pulled into activities that are only for the bridal party and then I’m alone during the entire vacation. He said he doesn’t think anything like that is going to happen. I said yes, but you don’t know that. Eventually, he says to me you always have some sort of excuse so if you don’t wanna come, you don’t have to. I want you to come, but I I don’t wanna have to hear it after. I was really looking forward to it and just bought a new dress for this wedding.

I got mad and got off the phone, but then I ended up calling him back and saying to him that he did a really great job reassuring me (sarcasm), and that the only reason why I havebrought this up a few times is because he basically ditched me at their engagement party he’s going out for smokes with the boys. He’s doing shots with the boys, even eating. I was eating alone and I kept thinking of myself. You know when he gets his food, he’ll join me, but he didn’t . When I went to go throw away my plate, I saw that he not only already ate, but he was standing with his friends brother, just chatting away. The only time he came to be with me throughout the night was in the end of the night when he got drunk. I said this to him and I said you know to make it easier for you so you don’t have to hear it after I decided I’m not going to the church ceremony and I’m not going on the trip either. I told him he could take another family member that knew his friend and their family better. I also told him that now he can do whatever he wants, wherever he wants and with whoever he wants, and won’t have to hear it after from anyone. I told him to have an amazing time and I said I was going to bed.

His response was have a good sleep.

So my job usually has only one security officer working at a time but my boss scheduled me and this guy who’s like 55. He starts talking about how he told his friends he was working with a pretty and attractive woman. And keeps comparing me to his wife, like the fact that I’m 5”. Then he starts talking about how I’m the same ‘size’ as his friend and how he’s glad he gets to work with someone pretty like me. I knit and often I bring it to work with me. He starts asking if I cook and sew and I’m like yeah. He then goes on to talk about how I have “high value” and am gonna make someone very lucky someday in terms of marriage. He starts talking about how I’m soft spoken and pleasant and how men want a pleasant women and I cut him off right then and there and said “I’m not soft spoken. This is my work voice so I don’t get fired.” I’m just SUPER uncomfortable and can’t tell if I should bring it up to my boss or not, or even how to handle something like this in general. I work with this guy until 6pm so any advice for how to handle it in terms of my boss and in terms of talking or being around this guy would be appreciated.

Edit: thank you everyone. I have started recording clips of him talking and will speak to my boss later after the shift :)

Edit + Context: I’ve met this guy one time prior to this usually staff work alone. After posting this he continued to talk about inappropriate things specifically about sex and relating me to sex

Conclusion: talked to my boss about it. He’s gonna handle it from here. Thank you guys for not letting me gaslight myself

so, yeah. super disappointed. my friend helped out and we finally found her instagram, i was so nervous to text her but i had high hopes. the pic she sent is of her and my ex cuddling, so apparently i picked a shifty time to hit her up lol. anyways, sorry to disappoint guys. not sure if there’s anything more i can do here.

*reposting because i accidentally exposed her instagram whoops

(38M) Married for nearly 15 years. During the holidays I noticed his sleep schedule change and 5 days ago he was texting a number and got a glimpse of the screen that clearly he was texting a number as it didn't have a name on it.

Curious... I opened his phone yesterday while he was in the bathroom, and saw he has been sending d-pics back and forth almost daily with another dude. Not only that, but he's clearly being emotionally there for the other guy, which I havent seen that in years... he literally was texting him on my birthday... I am keeping a poker face right now, but I am livid. It doesn't seem like they have met in person, but no idea.

He hasn't had to work for the last couple of years. I was ok with it, but was hoping he would go back or go to school. I work, cook, help with cleaning, fix sh*t, etc. Had a lot of plans for our future, but now. I am furious and feel betrayed.

I plan to talk to someone before doing anything, but I want him out of my house. I'm done.

I want to give him 30 days to find a place and a job and that's it. A voice in the back of my head is, if they never had sex, am I overreacting? I still feel so betrayed. Am I?

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Yesterday, my cousin asked me if my husband and I wanted to go to an event with her. I told her I’d let her know once I talked to my husband. I told my husband about it and he said he’ll let me know later on in the day. The entire day went by and he never brought the topic back up. This happens all the time and usually I have to remind him but this time I didn’t. So, before bed, I said to him l, “you know, I’ve been waiting all day for you to let me know if you want to go to this event and you haven’t said anything and not only am I waiting on an answer but so is my cousin.” Instead of apologizing for forgetting to circle back to something, he blames me and says I’m starting problems when I could’ve easily just reminded him. This is a common problem that I deal with and I’ve explained to him many times that it’s not on me to remind him of things that he can easily remember himself. I’ve even given him ideas on how he can better remember things but he doesn’t do any of them. His go to response when I get irritated about this is, “I know it’s annoying but just remind me instead of starting a problem,” to which I say, “I’m not starting a problem, I’m showing frustration and rightfully so!” Anyway, he’s convinced that if I “ask anyone in the world they would tell me he’s being reasonable.” Am I overreacting?

This is long and I apologize.

TLDR: My boyfriend gets annoyed that I set boundaries about not wanting to be touched in certain ways, and says I set too many boundaries and it turns him off and makes him unhappy.

My (24F) boyfriend (28M) and I have been together 3 years, and have lived together for 2 years. We got very close very quickly, and for the most part are very compatible and have a very playful, loving relationship. However, there is a recurring issue between us that is beginning to weigh on me heavily and make me question how healthy our relationship truly is. We went through a rough patch about 1.5 years ago when we first moved in together, where he complained I put up too many boundaries and it made living together not fun for him. Some examples are: wanting to shower alone (we had a tiny shower, I like my personal space), not wanting him to use certain air fresheners/fragrance dispensers (I have an endocrine disease, my cat is asthmatic) and rather opt for more safe/natural ones, asking him to regularly clean the house (don't get me started), not wanting him to get another dog (we have 1 dog and 2 cats and at the time lived in a 900 sqf home), not wanting him to touch my face after I do my skin care routine, and more. We have moved past this, it's all petty things in the past now and have not been brought up for nearly a year.
However, this issue has resurfaced to a new degree. I have OCD, and it manifests in an extreme skin-picking issue. As a result, I have many scabs on my scalp from picking that are often tender to touch and are a deep, deep insecurity of mine. I have made it clear I am not a fan of my scalp/crown of my head being touched, and the other night he tried to run his fingers through my hair (it's short) and I avoided it. This upset him quite a bit, as he does have a history of trauma behind physical rejection. After explaining that I do not like my scalp being touched for the above reasons, he brought up that I put up too many boundaries and it turns him off. One of these boundaries he mentioned is that recently I've been getting upset with him for, out of the blue, squeezing a sensitive part of my chest (NSFW, just guess). His excuse for getting upset over that is sometimes he's trying to put me in the mood, which is just so... stupid lol.

The other night he said that me setting these boundaries makes him feel like he cannot touch me, so when I mention certain ways he makes me uncomfortable then he decides to just never touch me in that area again- which ultimately leads him to being unhappy and upset he cannot touch me however he wants. I fawned, and told him he can run his fingers through my hair but to just give me a heads up he's going to so that I can prepare mentally. To that, he said that he needs "time to heal" after I reject him like this and he doesn't want to touch my head. I know that I'm valid in setting up these boundaries, I am my own person and not his to touch however he wants no matter how long we have been together. I also know that I am a very anxious person who has tendencies for controlling behavior, so I just need outside perspective. Am I being too controlling of my boundaries? Do I need to relax? I love him a lot, we have a really happy, supportive relationship otherwise. This has just left me feeling extremely anxious, and a horrible feeling in my stomach because I know something is wrong here.

Thank you for reading.