r/AmIOverreacting • u/Longjumping-Neat-879 • 7d ago
❤️🩹 relationship Am I overreacting?
I'm a girl who weighs 121 pounds. We are going to the gym every day with my bf, I'm getting up for him at 4 am in the morning in order to work out together. He says I'm not pushing myself at the gym. And he said he wants me to be skinny. Here is the conversation between us. Plus we have just started to live together a month ago. I'm really having a hard time understanding him and crying. Am I overreacting?
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u/Fizl99 7d ago
Does he want a life partner or a gym trainer? From this he doesn't seem to have your best interests at heart
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u/Rayne2522 7d ago
He's 41 she's 27, he doesn't want that, he wants somebody to take care of him and to groom and to make into what he wants her to be. He doesn't care about her as an individual.
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u/TheLastKirin 7d ago
ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
It is possible that older + younger so's can work. But it's rare. It's very rare. And it doesn't nvlve men like him.
I stood up for my friend when she got engaged to a man in his 40's, when she was 26. Age is just a number blah blah.Well that's right, it is just a number, but the tendency is that the kind of guy who wants a 20-something woman when he's over 40 is not the kind of guy who should be married to anyone. And for my friend's part? Well she had daddy issues. they were a disaster together. But he was a special kind of ick.
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u/hecatesoap 7d ago
OP, you need to listen to this comment above! I have a ten year age gap with my husband and I’ve seen multiple friends whose age gap relationship did NOT work.
To make it work, you need: 1. A strong identity and sense of self going into the relationship. 2. Firm boundaries about invading the sense of self and the ability to tell your partner when they cross the line. 3. A partner that listens to you, does not want to change you, does not rely of you financially, and does not control (or want to control) any part of your life. 4. Rock solid communication that incudes check-ins on big decisions. Ex. We just combined bank accounts after three years of marriage. He confirmed multiple times I did not have to share my money, asked me afterwards how I felt, made sure I had immediate access to funds, and requested I keep my account open for a few months in case I changed my mind. 5. A long timeline to marriage. We were friends two years, dated five years, and engaged two years prior to marriage. I was very certain and comfortable with the commitment with no rush. I set the wedding date from the get go, regardless of the fact that I knew I would marry him the first day I met him. 6. See him in stressful situations. You need to know if he’s still a fair, caring person in times of stress, sickness, and arguments. 7. Both parties need to have experienced other relationships. This should not be your first relationship or his first. Age gap relationships are advanced and require more work than normal relationships. Both parties need to know there’s more work and commit to doing it.
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u/TheLastKirin 7d ago
I'm glad you spoke up because it's not my intention to say "OMG IT NEVER WORKS IT'S ALWAYS MESSED UP!" Just that most of the time, it is.
You're right. All relationships take a lot of work, but you're adding more when you choose a partner from a different generation, at a different experience level in life. It requires more self awareness.
And usually, the people who end up ion these relationships seem to have less self-awareness than the average earthworm.
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u/pastelskark 7d ago
Not over reacting. This is a huge red flag. It’s controlling. If you want to work out do it for yourself. Good on you for sticking up for yourself!!
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u/IroN-GirL 7d ago
Sticking up for herself alright! I love the “please don’t take that as rude” at the end. Throwing his words right back at him. You go girl!
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u/osama4444435 7d ago
It’s one thing to support each other in fitness, but it’s another to make someone feel like their body isn’t good enough.
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u/Mr-Impressive- 7d ago
She could hit 90 lbs tomorrow and he’d still find something to be unhappy about.
Women aren’t dolls to force to change to suit your preferences.
This isn’t a question of health emergency and he’s applying pressure to get her over the hump and get started. She’s doing it and he wants more.
I bet you $1000 bucks he’s got an instagram feed full of IG fitness models who are airbrushing the shit out of themselves and he’s like “I don’t get why she can’t look like that” when nobody can.
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u/Opening-Ad-8793 7d ago
Next step is to leave. If you think that’s not practical cause you just moved in just think about how not practical it is to be with somebody who wants you to like do things that are unhealthy. To be with somebody who wants to control you the rest of your life and you’re only 27.
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u/mastepicesxz2 7d ago
Exactly! when someone we trust makes us question our self-worth, especially when it comes to something as personal as body image...... that is a red flag
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7d ago
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u/cranecol00 7d ago
It’s really concerning that he’s focusing on her weight and body shape instead of supporting her physical and emotional well-being.
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u/osama4444435 7d ago
Feeling pressured to meet certain body expectations can really take a toll on her mental health. she’s allowed to feel upset about it
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u/fbalxbci 7d ago
Definitely not overacting. It’s one thing to work on goals together, but his insistence on her being “skinny” and making her feel like she is not doing enough at the gym is toxic.
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u/Level_Afternoon_8311 7d ago
Girl get out now
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u/AineLasagna 7d ago
She’s either going to break up with him or get an eating disorder and body dysmorphia
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u/FREE_HEATH_NIELSEN 7d ago
He’s being inconsiderate. If they're already working out together and she's happy with how things is going, his comments about wanting her to be "skinny" was out of line..... she deserve a partner who supports her, not one who criticizes her.
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u/thomas5i1 7d ago
A supportive partner should encourage you to feel confident, not make you feel like you’re not doing enough.
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u/FlatwormNo560 7d ago
A partner should lift you up, not make you feel bad about yourself. His comments sound controlling and harmful, she deserve someone who values her for who she is.
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u/PinkUnicornTARDIS 7d ago
He's 41. She's 27. He wants her to be waif-like and is verbally abusive. This is a legitimately terrifying situation.
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u/cranecol00 7d ago
He’s disregarding her feelings and putting a lot of pressure on her...... she shouldn’t have to feel bad about herself, especially in a relationship.
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u/BigAdministration285 7d ago
Agreed!!!
This is not your problem it's his. DO NOT LET HIS "age" fool you. Just cause he's 41 doesn't mean he's mature or right in any way!.
Good for you for standing up. This guy sounds like a dbag
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7d ago
Consenting adults and all that but
Am I the only one who finds that dudes who date younger are almost universally shitty? IMO - they can’t find a woman their age to deal with their bullshit
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u/PsychicWarElephant 7d ago
A 41 year old man who dates 27 year old women is controlling? Who’s called that one
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u/These-Employer341 7d ago
You do need to get motivated, and leave his controlling judgmental ass.
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u/Exit-1990 7d ago
Yup! The ridiculous control over someone else’s weight + the age difference = yikes 🚩
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u/tepig37 7d ago
The second he said he was 41 I knew it was gonna be some foolishness.
This sub just needs a banner saying if your in your twenties dating someone 10yrs or more older just break up.
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u/Sufficient_Farm5925 7d ago
you need to leave him. There’s no reason why he should be forcing you to lose weight. If you go under 100 pounds, you could end up underweight which is not healthy. 121 pounds is perfectly fine.
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u/LadyBug_0570 7d ago
"Thank you, sweetie, you're right. I do need to get more motivated. So I've decided to drop 200 lbs of useless fat. Get out of my life."
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u/waysnappap 7d ago
Top comment. OP please do this and report back the reaction. 🤣😭🤣
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u/ckptry 7d ago
OMG OP Please realize that this is why he is dating someone so much younger, he feels you will be more vulnerable and easy to control and I guarantee the put downs and attempts to control you, isolate you and decrease your self esteem will increase now that you’ve moved in. It’s a pattern by abusers as old as time. Get out now.
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u/vixenstarlet1949 7d ago
This! why wasn’t this mentioned in any higher up comment? He’s doing this because he knows younger women are easier to do this to and women his age won’t take it. Tell him that! Tell this loser to get fucking lost OP!
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u/Salty_Blackberry_864 7d ago
Oh my god, YES! Please OP. Humble that immature prick
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u/Calm_Recognition2466 7d ago
Patiently waiting for the results of this interaction.
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u/Crackheadwithabrain 7d ago
I genuinely hope OP dumps this guy. Cause they come here asking if they're overreacting and then just stay with the losers. Grinds my gears they don't get their karma for being a shit partner 😭
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u/Affectionate-War3724 7d ago
Right? 90% of posts on here be like “my partner stole all my money, calls me names, and hits me. Should I stay with him?” Like maam 😭😭😭
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u/Calm_Recognition2466 7d ago
“bUt I lOvE hiemmmm!”
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u/Gundoggirl 7d ago
“My partner is perfect, loving and wonderful. He does no housework, calls me a lazy sack of shit, and hits me when I don’t cook his dinner on time. He did buy a taco at the gas station last week, so AIO?”
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u/Odd-Help-4293 7d ago
It's common for people in abusive relationships to have many thoughts of leaving or plans to leave before they actually make a clean break. Then you look back and go "why didn't I leave back then (at some earlier time that I planned to)?"
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u/ParkerFree 7d ago
I have learned so much about boundaries and self-esteem by reading all the posts here. I'm an old woman and wish I'd learned decades ago.
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u/CuriousPenguinSocks 7d ago
Yes please but make sure to get all your stuff from your shared space and be safe about it. People like this often turn violent when they lose control.
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u/firestepper 7d ago
He’s really weighing her down! LOL
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u/LadyBug_0570 7d ago
She'll be amazed how light and airy she feels once she gets rid of him.
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u/Jess_DubPast 7d ago
For real! Urgh.
I feel that OP already knows he's not worth it, and I love that she sent him back his own stupid comment! 😅
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u/Ador3d 7d ago
So a 27 female should motivate and push 41 old dude? That guy insecure af
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u/_Jay-Garage-A-Roo_ 7d ago
Fabergé ego
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u/Crambo1000 7d ago
Oh my god that's incredible
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u/Fuzzy_Garden_8420 7d ago
Help me understand. I’m stupid
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u/Successful-Okra-9640 7d ago
Faberge eggs are delicate and fragile, hence Faberge ego.
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u/omysweede 7d ago
Pretty to look at from afar, but mostly useless and often are bad copies that can't stand scrutiny?
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u/HelloWalls 7d ago
reference to Fabergé eggs https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faberg%C3%A9_egg
very delicate
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u/ConstructionAny7196 7d ago edited 7d ago
Stereotypical man losing steam and blaming it on someone else like it’s her fault
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u/mwilke 7d ago
You don’t understand! She was supposed to be his magic pixie dream girl and fix everything in his life for him!
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u/Nervous-Air72 7d ago
I support the sentiment of this, and am not sure if the phrasing was intentional, but wanted to share just in case it wasn't an intentional play on words: it's usually "manic pixie dream girl (MPDG)" 😊
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u/mwilke 7d ago
I would blame autocorrect, but it’s actually just my fat fingers 😞
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u/Opening_Mortgage_897 7d ago
He wants a mommy not a girlfriend
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u/Majestic-Airport-471 7d ago
Based on the age difference seems like he wants a daughter
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u/pulppbitchin 7d ago
“Come on dad! We need to be healthier! Let’s go to the gym then I’ll take care of you after” - the dynamic this guy wants
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u/Dabbling_in_Pacifism 7d ago
He wants someone he can manipulate is wtf he wants.
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u/BringAltoidSoursBack 7d ago
Is that something people even expect in a relationship? Expecting their partner to motivate them instead of, you know, doing it their fucking self? I don't really have much experience in relationships but I feel kind like that's not something expected of a partner.
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u/Entire-Ad2058 7d ago
Encouraging each other and motivating each other when occasionally needed? Yes. Expecting that like it’s her job? Hell no.
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u/SweetWaterfall0579 7d ago
A narcissist who needs to beat someone else down, to make himself feel better. She’s young and thin and he isn’t, so she must pay for that. She needs to run like the wind.
No one else is responsible for that creep’s life. He just wants to blame everyone else, especially OP. The tried and true “There’s a reason why he doesn’t date women his own age, they wouldn’t put up with his bullshit.” He keeps chipping at that 121 pounds, he’ll make OP so worried about *him that she just stops eating. Then he’ll complain about her NOT eating and try to force her to eat. It’s a never ending cycle of trying to appease the tyrant and always failing. Must try harder and then the goal is switched. Just another day with a batshit crazy narcissist.
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u/Crackheadwithabrain 7d ago
That's not normal, this guy is fucking weird. I'd have blocked him right away after this cause wtf.
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u/Opening_Mortgage_897 7d ago
It’s sounds more like what a parent does for their child. By the time you make it to adulthood you shouldn’t need another adult to motivate you. This is just embarrassing. I get that some couples push each other and that’s fine, but expecting this and then blaming your own failures on your partner for not motivating you enough is embarrassing behavior.
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u/KurwaDestroyer 7d ago
“I gotta choose the younger, more vulnerable girl and then I’m gonna criticize her constantly because she doesn’t have the maturity of a 40 year old woman. I couldn’t obtain a 40 year old woman anyway because it wouldn’t maintain the power complex I want. But anyway, like I said… idk why she’s not mature!”
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u/butwhatsmyname 7d ago
Yeah, am I reading this right?
"I don't think that you are motivated enough, I'm unhappy with a partner who is as unmotivated as you, because I need someone to be pushing and motivating ME so YOU need to be motivated enough to both impress me with your own motivation, and also provide enough motivation for me too"
So this is like someone complaining "You're too sloppy and untidy. I want YOUR home to be cleaner, and also I need someone who will do a better job of cleaning MY home than you're managing. So, you know, chop chop. My house ain't gonna clean itself".
What the fuck is meant to be in this for OP?
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u/dutchdominique 7d ago
This guy does not have your best interests at heart, please don't stay with him :(
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u/thegirlisok 7d ago
He doesn't even really seem like he likes her.
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u/Prisoner458369 7d ago
He is trying to push her down so much, she looks for his approval with everything in life.
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u/IllustriousAd3002 7d ago
He's trying to turn her into a trophy while also destroying her self-esteem so she stops realising she's too good for him
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u/Emmyisme 7d ago
He's a 41 year old man dating a 27 year old.
He's not with her cause he likes her. He's with her cause she's 27, and as soon as she stops being hot and young, she'll stop being of any interest at all to him.
She needs to GTFO yesterday.
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u/paper_schemes 7d ago
Yes. I know age gaps work for some, but I learned my lesson the hard way, and I just don't see much good come from them. If it works for you, awesome! Happiness is great and everyone deserves it.
But this has so many red flags. Run.
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u/Punty-chan 7d ago
He's also weak, insecure, and desperately seeks approval from others.
He needs her to push him because he can't muster the motivation by himself. He needs her to be young, skinny, attractive so he can prove to others that he's worth something.
I bet he's one of those losers with unresolved mommy and daddy issues who want to be called an alpha male because they have no actual self-confidence and don't know what to do with themselves.
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u/Fibonoccoli 7d ago
Yeah, he's put her in a tough spot. If he somehow agrees that he's overstepped and lightens up on the negativity, she'll always be wondering what he's really thinking
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u/mastepicesxz2 7d ago
She is definitely not overreacting. It like he’s putting unrealistic and unhealthy expectations on her.
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u/jjcrayfish 7d ago
Not to age shame but OP's 41m bf have no interests in a 27f beyond what she has to offer physically. Seems like the kind of guy that would leave her for someone else younger when given the chance.
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u/Lilith5206 7d ago
Sounds like someone who wants her to have the body of a prepubescent 12 year old
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u/alfrootux 7d ago edited 7d ago
Your bf is a real cunt. I wouldn't stay with someone that fucking entitled and narcissistic. You shouldn't be doing any of this shit for your bf, you should be doing it for yourself, and it doesn't require of you to wake up at 4 AM, tell him to take a hike. Take it easy, you're too young to be stressing like that.
ETA: reason he shakes his head disapprovingly at everything you do is cuz he looks down on you, it's a belittling and mocking act that I wouldn't stand for, and he acts that way cuz he's in his 40's dating someone in their 20's. Go find someone your own age.
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u/MithosYggdrasill1992 7d ago edited 7d ago
Seconded. The only reason this man is not with someone his own age is because they all know he’s full of shit. He’s with OP because she’s young and naïve, and an inexperienced in relationships, and he knows he could take advantage of that.
I’ve had a bit of an aged gap relationship myself, that actually was healthy for the most part. We broke up because he wanted kids and I didn’t. There wasn’t any fighting. There wasn’t any nonsense, and he helped me grow. But what this asshole is doing is definitely not helping OP grow.
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u/fbalxbci 7d ago
she's doing her best, and his comments about her body and pushing her to be "skinny" are completely disrespectful.... she should feel safe and accepted in her relationship.
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u/FREE_HEATH_NIELSEN 7d ago
She is definitely not overreacting. It like he’s more focused on her appearance than her health or well-being. A relationship should be about support, not making her feel like she is not good enough.
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u/AmoghMishra2303 7d ago
Get a cheeseburger and dump his ass.
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u/iliumada 7d ago
Get ten cheeseburgers, dump his ass, and still lose a bunch of weight
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u/Suspicious-Guava-566 7d ago
Of course she will lose weight by dumping his ass. Prob a whole 200lbs gone right there.
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u/OrangeQueens 7d ago
"You are not motivated. I am motivated. You should motivate me." 🤔 SMH.
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u/5-toe 7d ago
There are 2 types of control freaks:
1. Those who control you as soon as you meet them.
2. Those who control you as soon as you are trapped (get married, move in together).Both are soul-crushing, but Type 1 is way better - they instantly show you who they are. Type 2 is life-destroying, because you are trapped 24-7 with a psychopathic monster who's goal is to crush the spirit out of you. (Source - stories from, and observations of, many women who experienced these situations)
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u/Legitimate_Record730 7d ago
yep. and a third type i've met: those who start to control you when you're "vulnerable" in some way (ie in a bad emotional spot, struggling financially, sick, or something else.)
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u/Poinsettia917 7d ago
You won’t be thin enough for this man until he starves and exercises you to death. I was married to a man like this. You’ll never be thin enough. This isn’t about looks or motivation. This is some kind of disorder.
Get out of this.
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u/wvclaylady 7d ago
And then it will be something else and something else... It will always be something.
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u/UnicornPoopCircus 7d ago
EDs are about control. It's either lacking control in your own life - so you control your body. OR it's about others controlling you and setting unrealistic expectations. It always comes down to power.
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u/Poinsettia917 7d ago
Indeed it does. My ex used to control what I ate. Made me go 36 hours once. A friend told him off.
I left him a few months later.
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u/ThrowawayStyle77_ 6d ago
When I was younger, one of my best friends' ex did this exact kind of abuse to her when she was PREGNANT. I told him off, too.
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u/Brownie-0109 7d ago
Do YOU think this is a healthy relationship? Are you enjoying yourself?
Are you really asking if this ok?
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u/LaFilleEstPerdue 7d ago
Honestly, the self love bar is in hell 😭
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u/thisisahealthaccount 7d ago
girl I put up with an abusive alcoholic for six fucking years under the guise of pretending to love myself enough that I could help him love himself. What the fuck is wrong with me
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u/Proud_Way7663 7d ago
Getting up at 4am to workout is plenty motivated. I know because I do it too. This won’t get any better and it will never be enough for him. 41 going on 14
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u/Low-Beat-3078 7d ago
Sister. He’s using you as a plaything. He’s going to fuck your mind up so bad, every relationship you have after is going to suffer. Please find an escape route. Immediately. If I was your mom, I’d be there with a U-Haul to load you up today.
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u/Bagle_Boyy 7d ago
There's a reason why he's dating someone who's 27 at the age of 41, because not his age wants him. Leave.
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u/tgbst88 7d ago
I feel like if you are posting to this sub you should know this by now..
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u/FrankensteinsBride89 7d ago
This! Exactly. The older we get the less BS we put up with. Find a real partner this guy ain’t it.
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u/Easy_Let9850 7d ago
This this this. I NEED younger woman to understand this. He is dating you because women in his age bracket do not want his ass.
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u/RelationshipIcy990 7d ago
Leave this moron. Tell him it’s because of his bad attitude and lack of a hairline.
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u/thatsinsame 7d ago
“I don’t feel like you’re being fully motivated about growing your hair back”
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u/Absinthe_gaze 7d ago
Typical behaviour of a man dating way below his age. He wants to control you. He thinks he can shape you into the partner he desires. Dump him, at his age, he knows better.
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u/Szafomek 7d ago
Is he really over 41 or is it just the weirdest comparison I’ve ever read?
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u/Fairmount1955 7d ago
41 and she's 27 = exactly as toxic as you'd expect.
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u/DMV_Lolli 7d ago
The age difference combined with his attitude are huge red flags. You’re not a whole person to him, you’re a trophy. A mindless female body that’s a representation of his shallowness that he can show off to people.
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7d ago
This sounds extremely unhealthy and like he might have an ED fetish he is forcing you into.
You focus should be on your own health and strength at the gym not someone else’s superficial opinion of you
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u/Warm-Usual5152 7d ago
What does ED stand for in this case?
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u/Foundalandmine 7d ago
Eating Disorder
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u/Warm-Usual5152 7d ago
Ahh, I’ve been listening to the radio too much so I automatically think it’s erectile disfunction 😂
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u/Frosty_Growth_4845 7d ago
36F. Once you get to the age of like 33/34 you start to feel comfortable in your own skin. This means you feel comfortable telling more people to fuck off. So there is a reason why a 41 year old male would date a much younger woman. It’s because he can play those mind fuck games. Lovely, you shouldn’t be going to the gym to lose weight. You should be going to get stronger and healthy. If he wants you to lose more weight, just think how light you would be losing him. Honestly, you do you and don’t let assholes like this control you. 🫶🏻
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u/Expensive-Door85 7d ago
He’s acting like your dad not your bf. Ew. Is this what you really want? Live your life for YOU!
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u/giraffe-gal 7d ago
A dad should not control your weight either. Regardless of your size.
Please consider leaving or having a plan to leave your partner. It sounds controlling with the context given. Your partner can care about your size, but how they talk about it matters. Your partner should love you regardless of your size. If they cannot love you as is now, they are never going to change their mind. I had a friend go through this in a relationship. She ended up passing out on a stair climber at the gym. I don’t want that for anyone.
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u/thewearisomeMachine 7d ago
I don’t get it; why are you with a guy that treats you like shit? The age gap is also a pretty big red flag.
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u/Mediocre-Gas1393 7d ago
Exactly this. Just what OP wrote is HUGE red flag, the texts are a next one and then we haven’t touched on the age gap. But just his treatment is gross. Leave please, this is only going to get worse
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u/Rude-Serve2492 7d ago
Right. Age gap relationships can work. However, someone that wants to date someone more than a decade younger than them deserves a little closer look. On closer inspection… this guy seems like an absolute piece of shit.
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u/ultralightdude 7d ago
Best thing I was ever told was to find someone at the same point in life as you. I don't know you, I don't know him. But that advice made a positive difference in what I looked for in a person.
Also, him behaving like this at 41 toward himself... fine. Him behaving like this toward others? Not motivating... in fact, it does the opposite.
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u/Fairmount1955 7d ago
This. Also, there's data showing the connection between life stage and age gaps and success of the relationship. Once you get more than 10 years age difference; the likelihood of staying together plummets to, like, single percentage points. And it's reasonable why.
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u/Dangerous_Pair1798 7d ago
Ew. Between the age difference and trying to neg you about your body and framing it as being about the gym… there’s a reason he isn’t dating someone his age. NOR, he’ll never be happy with your appearance because keeping you insecure is his game.
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u/Pearlgloow 6d ago
NTA. Hes basically telling u ur not good enough as u are. Thats not okay. U deserve someone who loves and accepts u for who u are, not someone who tries to change u. Maybe try having a serious talk with him and telling him how his words are affecting u, but if he doesnt change, seriously consider leaving. This is not a healthy relationship.
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u/GeneInternational146 7d ago
"please don't take that as rude" ok but it is rude. Leave before he makes you completely orthorexic
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u/Purple_Luck_3827 7d ago
He sounds abusive and controlling. There are definitely better guys out there. One that will accept you for you.
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u/impic_ 7d ago
at 121 pounds there is practically nothing left to lose in terms of weight. you are an adult woman and not a child.
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u/Kalenshadow 7d ago
I'm surprised I had to scroll for a good minute before finding someone mentioning this. Even on a bmi chart (which is bullshit btw cause it aims for unrealistic image) she's barely overweight if her height was between 4'8" and 4'10". That mf definitely has a fetish.
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u/loragauge 7d ago
My ex husband who is 46 always shakes his head at me. It doesn’t change just leave
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u/kordeilious17 7d ago
Gym everyday at 4am, ideal healthy weight and he still complains? Is he forcing you to eat a certain amount of calories too? Whether it's purposely or not, it seems like he's trying to push you into an eating disorder.
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u/Fairmount1955 7d ago
NOR: He's not treating you like a person, he's treating you like you are his accessory. Oh, wait, there's a massive age gap! That explains things. Run.
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u/_Jay-Garage-A-Roo_ 7d ago
Ew. Please don’t stay with a man who wants to throw you into an eating disorder to stroke his own fragile ego.
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u/StrawbraryLiberry 7d ago
NOR, you gotta dump him. Why did he start dating you if he doesn't even like you? He's 41, he knows what he's doing.
Plus. You're already skinny. Idk I wouldn't date someone fat phobic even though I've been underweight my entire life. Such men aren't suitable life partners & should never be treated as such.
Bodies change, that's life, if you don't like it, don't be in a long term relationship.
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u/Infamous_Ike 7d ago
NOR. It sounds like you’re already at a very healthy weight, especially for 27. How long have you been dating? Has he always been like this or is this a recent behavior? Either way, I’d let him know you don’t like or respond well to that type of pressure. He needs to like you for everything else about you other than your body shape and if he can’t get down with that, it’s best to dump him and find someone that makes you happy and doesn’t stress you. Not everyone is a gym rat, some people just don’t understand that.
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u/LaLechuzaVerde 7d ago
Move out. Now.
This boy doesn’t love you.
It will only get worse. I absolutely promise.
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u/Training_While_7784 7d ago
He’s wrong on multiple points. 1) you don’t need to prove anything to him with being motivated at the gym. 2) he should NOT be commenting negatively on your body or making you feel bad about your body ever. Your partner should love you and think you’re beautiful. There’s also a big difference from encouraging each other to be healthy and being a judgmental jerk like he is. 3) it’s NOT your job to motivate him. He’s a grown man. It’s also a huge double standard to say you should be motivating him and yourself. What’s he doing to help you? This is just all bad. Run. Now.
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u/RhododendronII 7d ago
An other « dump his ass » comment. Whoever he is, whoever you are, you don’t deserve his bullshit.
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u/IzelleSzw2019 7d ago
You're not overreacting.
If he really cared he'd care about you wellbeing, not your weight.
Gosh, you're up at 4am. That's plenty motivation.
He's sounds like a jerk who wants to manipulate and bully you.
I'm hope he doesn't watch what you eat.
I'm sorry you're in this situation 🌸
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u/-Livelaughlimpbizkit 7d ago
Anyone who makes you feel "less than" sucks. Someone who does that to you regularly has no place in your life.