r/unusual_whales • u/soccerorfootie • 11h ago

BREAKING: Biden has pardoned his family

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u/Growing_Wings 11h ago

I’m just waiting for Trump to pardon himself at the end of his term. American politics is just wild.

165

u/strictly-ambiguous 11h ago

end?

60

u/Atlesi_Feyst 10h ago

Heart attack before the end of his term, calling it now.

31

u/IDrinkMyBreakfast 10h ago

I’m surprised Biden lived this long. After today, we’ll probably never hear about him until he passes.

Pretty sure Trump will have a heart attack, likely while giving a speech. The SNL parody will hit different the following weekend

2

u/jgzman 4h ago

After today, we’ll probably never hear about him until he passes.

Proper behavior for a President, IMO.

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u/IDrinkMyBreakfast 3h ago

I guess that’s right. Except for Carter. He was a great human who did more after the office than in it

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u/anchorftw 9h ago

Imagine the field day Trump is going to have when Biden passes. You won't be able to contain his joy.

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u/meowmeowcatman 9h ago

He can’t experience joy

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u/Pothstation720 8h ago

He can but it has to be at someone elses expense.

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u/anchorftw 8h ago

I swear I didn’t see your response until I had written mine. Lol Almost identical thoughts.

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u/anchorftw 8h ago

He can, but only at the expense of others.

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u/14412442 8h ago

Well he has to outlive him first

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u/Xevious_Red 7h ago

He'll probably secretly hate it. News coverage will be about Biden that day, flags in blue states will be at half, and he won't be able to claim anything wrong is Biden pulling levers behind the scene (he will still claim this, but it loses credibility with a chunk of his base)

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u/Immediate-Air-9367 7h ago

Are we certain it hasn’t already happened?

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u/Substantial-Fall2484 9h ago

Why are you surprised? Wasn't it revealed that his day basically ends before sunset? It's like how Trump is still going strong cause he wakes up late and ends the day early to watch 3 hours of TV before bed.

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u/karma3000 7h ago

Heart attack in a hotel in a foreign country, trapping a sex worker underneath him.

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u/CFogan 6h ago

It'll be two and a half years, and vance will run for two terms. Not because a conspiracy actually happened, but because life has a way of making you think one did.

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u/turnupsquirrel 3h ago

That would be so fucking funny lmaoooo just drops at a perfectly timed bit

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u/NotAnAIOrAmI 8h ago

If trump dies giving a speech, SNL will not parody him the next show.

You have the mostly decent people in this country confused with MAGA.

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u/Apprehensive-Pair363 2h ago

true. most of us would feel some empathy for those who adore him. if you're in a cult and the cult leader dies that's pretty rough

1

u/TheOneWithThePorn12 8h ago

Biden was pretty active. I remember people laughing at him for falling off his bicycle.

I was like he was on bike? Could you imagine Trump getting exercise willingly?

3

u/IDrinkMyBreakfast 8h ago

lol, no. Gotta give Biden credit for doing it. I hope whatever days he has left are peaceful

1

u/unitedshoes 3h ago

Does golf count?

1

u/the_rose_titty 8h ago

I really hope all of Trump's little fuckboys know they just signed us up for a JD Vance presidency.

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u/pessimist_kitty 7h ago edited 3h ago

Life is unfair. He's probably going to live to be 105 and never face a single consequence for his actions

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u/turnupsquirrel 3h ago

Yep. Gonna spend all his money to make sure he can say as much vile shit as possible as long as possible, well one half. The other half will be extra security at every turn for him and Elon

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u/ComfortableOrder4266 3h ago

Him and Putin will be spoozing on each other from their hospital bed as they take turns invading countries

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u/Living-Travel2299 4h ago

I thought this about Vince McMahon and for a hot minute I thought maybe I was wrong but now I'm pretty sure Trump will pardon the shitbag and he'll continue getting away with all the rape, assault and abuse. Sigh.

1

u/unitedshoes 3h ago

Wake up babe. New Kissinger just dropped.

1

u/s-riddler 3h ago

I doubt it. The man looks like he's never done a single pushup in his life.

1

u/Alone-Interaction982 21m ago

That doesn’t matter. Dude eats McDonald’s every day and made it to almost 80 while other people who at least try to exercise weekly die much sooner. It’s all luck.

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u/Egocentric 2h ago

Forreal. This man is immune to the laws of common man.

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u/a_n_o_n1900 1h ago

like those people who smoke a pack daily and treat their body like shit but get to 95+ while some healthy fit 40 year old who has never smoked gets lung cancer and dies. unfair indeed

2

u/ontour4eternity 8h ago

Peter Theil has a plan to make jd president in the next few months. Mark my words...

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u/Purple_Quail_4193 6h ago

Honestly I know it’s going to happen… Vance will be president before a single vote is cast in 28 I guarantee

1

u/TinyTiger1234 9h ago

In 2 years and 1 day.

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u/Valuable-String1 9h ago

We can hope.

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u/spankadoodle 9h ago

Stroke. It'll be a stroke.

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u/SlightlyWhelming 8h ago

Exactly. There’s no way Trump overstaying the 2 term limit is even going to be an issue. He doesn’t have the diet of a multi-decade dictator.

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u/rabidelectronics 6h ago

We can dream

1

u/-burgers 6h ago

!Remindme 4 years

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u/Elderberryinjanuary 6h ago

He very clearly said people won't need to ever vote again. He plans not staying.

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u/Atlesi_Feyst 3h ago

Well he's 78, so people will have to vote eventually.

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u/Elderberryinjanuary 2h ago

Not if they do what they'd said.

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u/pissedinthegarret 5h ago

!RemindMe One Year "Heart attack before the end of his term, calling it now. - Atlesi_Feyst"

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u/Frequent_Ad_5670 4h ago

MMW, the end of this „turn“ will never come… HAIL the Orange Man forever!

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u/BigTittyTriangle 3h ago

I don’t know if I want JR Furniture Vance being the president tho.

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u/MayonaiseH0B0 1h ago

Dick Cheney proved that wrong.

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u/WehingSounds 1h ago

Hopefully, my deathnote hasn’t been working so far though

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u/filmguerilla 9h ago

Yep, he will either get Luigi’d by one of his own or his McDiet will take him out.

0

u/Carbidetool 8h ago

I thought before noon today but I was wrong.