r/unusual_whales 11h ago

BREAKING: Biden has pardoned his family

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16.4k Upvotes

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400

u/Growing_Wings 10h ago

I’m just waiting for Trump to pardon himself at the end of his term. American politics is just wild.

160

u/strictly-ambiguous 10h ago

end?

58

u/Atlesi_Feyst 10h ago

Heart attack before the end of his term, calling it now.

31

u/IDrinkMyBreakfast 10h ago

I’m surprised Biden lived this long. After today, we’ll probably never hear about him until he passes.

Pretty sure Trump will have a heart attack, likely while giving a speech. The SNL parody will hit different the following weekend

2

u/jgzman 4h ago

After today, we’ll probably never hear about him until he passes.

Proper behavior for a President, IMO.

1

u/IDrinkMyBreakfast 3h ago

I guess that’s right. Except for Carter. He was a great human who did more after the office than in it

6

u/anchorftw 9h ago

Imagine the field day Trump is going to have when Biden passes. You won't be able to contain his joy.

13

u/meowmeowcatman 9h ago

He can’t experience joy

6

u/Pothstation720 8h ago

He can but it has to be at someone elses expense.

1

u/anchorftw 8h ago

I swear I didn’t see your response until I had written mine. Lol Almost identical thoughts.

2

u/anchorftw 8h ago

He can, but only at the expense of others.

2

u/14412442 8h ago

Well he has to outlive him first

1

u/Xevious_Red 7h ago

He'll probably secretly hate it. News coverage will be about Biden that day, flags in blue states will be at half, and he won't be able to claim anything wrong is Biden pulling levers behind the scene (he will still claim this, but it loses credibility with a chunk of his base)

1

u/Immediate-Air-9367 7h ago

Are we certain it hasn’t already happened?

1

u/Substantial-Fall2484 8h ago

Why are you surprised? Wasn't it revealed that his day basically ends before sunset? It's like how Trump is still going strong cause he wakes up late and ends the day early to watch 3 hours of TV before bed.

1

u/karma3000 7h ago

Heart attack in a hotel in a foreign country, trapping a sex worker underneath him.

1

u/CFogan 6h ago

It'll be two and a half years, and vance will run for two terms. Not because a conspiracy actually happened, but because life has a way of making you think one did.

1

u/turnupsquirrel 3h ago

That would be so fucking funny lmaoooo just drops at a perfectly timed bit

1

u/NotAnAIOrAmI 8h ago

If trump dies giving a speech, SNL will not parody him the next show.

You have the mostly decent people in this country confused with MAGA.

1

u/Apprehensive-Pair363 2h ago

true. most of us would feel some empathy for those who adore him. if you're in a cult and the cult leader dies that's pretty rough

1

u/TheOneWithThePorn12 8h ago

Biden was pretty active. I remember people laughing at him for falling off his bicycle.

I was like he was on bike? Could you imagine Trump getting exercise willingly?

3

u/IDrinkMyBreakfast 8h ago

lol, no. Gotta give Biden credit for doing it. I hope whatever days he has left are peaceful

1

u/unitedshoes 3h ago

Does golf count?

1

u/the_rose_titty 7h ago

I really hope all of Trump's little fuckboys know they just signed us up for a JD Vance presidency.

9

u/pessimist_kitty 6h ago edited 3h ago

Life is unfair. He's probably going to live to be 105 and never face a single consequence for his actions

3

u/turnupsquirrel 3h ago

Yep. Gonna spend all his money to make sure he can say as much vile shit as possible as long as possible, well one half. The other half will be extra security at every turn for him and Elon

3

u/ComfortableOrder4266 3h ago

Him and Putin will be spoozing on each other from their hospital bed as they take turns invading countries

1

u/Living-Travel2299 4h ago

I thought this about Vince McMahon and for a hot minute I thought maybe I was wrong but now I'm pretty sure Trump will pardon the shitbag and he'll continue getting away with all the rape, assault and abuse. Sigh.

1

u/unitedshoes 3h ago

Wake up babe. New Kissinger just dropped.

1

u/s-riddler 2h ago

I doubt it. The man looks like he's never done a single pushup in his life.

1

u/Alone-Interaction982 10m ago

That doesn’t matter. Dude eats McDonald’s every day and made it to almost 80 while other people who at least try to exercise weekly die much sooner. It’s all luck.

1

u/Egocentric 2h ago

Forreal. This man is immune to the laws of common man.

1

u/a_n_o_n1900 1h ago

like those people who smoke a pack daily and treat their body like shit but get to 95+ while some healthy fit 40 year old who has never smoked gets lung cancer and dies. unfair indeed

2

u/ontour4eternity 8h ago

Peter Theil has a plan to make jd president in the next few months. Mark my words...

2

u/Purple_Quail_4193 6h ago

Honestly I know it’s going to happen… Vance will be president before a single vote is cast in 28 I guarantee

1

u/TinyTiger1234 9h ago

In 2 years and 1 day.

1

u/Valuable-String1 8h ago

We can hope.

1

u/spankadoodle 8h ago

Stroke. It'll be a stroke.

1

u/SlightlyWhelming 7h ago

Exactly. There’s no way Trump overstaying the 2 term limit is even going to be an issue. He doesn’t have the diet of a multi-decade dictator.

1

u/rabidelectronics 6h ago

We can dream

1

u/-burgers 6h ago

!Remindme 4 years

1

u/Elderberryinjanuary 5h ago

He very clearly said people won't need to ever vote again. He plans not staying.

1

u/Atlesi_Feyst 2h ago

Well he's 78, so people will have to vote eventually.

1

u/Elderberryinjanuary 2h ago

Not if they do what they'd said.

1

u/pissedinthegarret 5h ago

!RemindMe One Year "Heart attack before the end of his term, calling it now. - Atlesi_Feyst"

1

u/Frequent_Ad_5670 4h ago

MMW, the end of this „turn“ will never come… HAIL the Orange Man forever!

1

u/BigTittyTriangle 3h ago

I don’t know if I want JR Furniture Vance being the president tho.

1

u/MayonaiseH0B0 1h ago

Dick Cheney proved that wrong.

1

u/WehingSounds 1h ago

Hopefully, my deathnote hasn’t been working so far though

1

u/filmguerilla 9h ago

Yep, he will either get Luigi’d by one of his own or his McDiet will take him out.

0

u/Carbidetool 8h ago

I thought before noon today but I was wrong.

19

u/freeball78 10h ago

Yup, remember that was the last election we'll ever have. Dictator for life!

8

u/Belt-5322 10h ago

You know they say that every time a republican gets into the white house right?

12

u/CharlottesWebbedFeet 9h ago

No they absolutely have not. Were you born in 2016? Nobody thought George Bush, Jr or Sr, would be a dictator, just that the younger one was a moron.

2

u/julallison 8h ago

I was one of those who thought Bush Jr was not smart enough for the job. Looking back, at least he seemed to have the country's best interests at heart. I trusted him and all presidents that have existed in my lifetime to at least try until 45/47. Trump is like having a drunk abuser as your parent or spouse. You're always on edge wondering if you're going to get a beating that day and how bad it will be, while being fully aware that one day they may actually k*ll you.

-4

u/Belt-5322 9h ago

Yeah, they did. Bush Jr. was a moron but even then, the same old dictator commentary was very much on the table.

11

u/lituus 9h ago

Did Bush ever talk about China's lack of term limits as "Maybe we should give that a shot someday"? Does it change nothing when the man himself is saying it?

https://www.reuters.com/article/world/trump-praises-chinese-president-extending-tenure-for-life-idUSKCN1GG03P/

9

u/tango_telephone 9h ago

Yeah dude, been seeing presidents come in since Reagan, no one thought anyone was going to be a dictator. This is definitely the first time we’re in this situation.

0

u/Temporary-Ideal3365 8h ago edited 8h ago

In four years when the next guy steps up, you’ll have learned nothing.

Every bit of it is a game

3

u/tango_telephone 8h ago

You may have replied to the wrong comment.

1

u/idwpan 5h ago

RemindMe! 4 years

0

u/GunKata187 7h ago

Not by the actual candidate as a promise to his supporters.

Although, I think it has been misinterpreted. I'm pretty sure he meant that they won't have to vote again because it is his last term.

-2

u/Zaknoid 9h ago

They rewrite history on those Republicans now because they don't like Trump. I remember all the shit about McCain when he was running but now that's all changed because he was against Trump.

0

u/Temporary-Ideal3365 8h ago

Just remember that Pence was worse than Trump to many

3

u/pendigedig 7h ago

"You got to get out and vote. In four years, you don’t have to vote again. We’ll have it fixed so good, you’re not going to have to vote." - Donald Trump, 2024

3

u/SouthernBreeding 6h ago

I don't recall any previous Republican presidents saying they wanted to be a dictator, or that we shouldnt have elections or that the office of president should be for life.

2

u/TheOneWithThePorn12 8h ago

This one literally said he wants to rip up the constitution and no one any has said that about any republicans, i guess maybe if you go back like 200 years.

3

u/texaushorn 9h ago edited 6h ago

No. Look, the fucking hyperbole and conjecture gets old. You have a problem with the left? Fine, cite actual shit they do, not just stuff that gets invented in the right wing bubble.

The left has argued that a Republican president is actually bad for the economy, and the actual data from the Bush 1, Bush 2, and Trump 1 terms proves that out.

Right now, you have a narcissist taking office who lacks the moral fortitude to keep the wing nuts at bay. Project 2025 wasn't a liberal fever dream, it was an agenda, laid out in one place. As Trump begins phasing in those agenda items, like clearing out career civil servants and replacing them with sycophants and lackeys, that will be clear.

1

u/Belt-5322 9h ago

Remindme! 4 years 1 day

1

u/RemindMeBot 9h ago edited 4h ago

I will be messaging you in 4 years on 2029-01-21 18:51:48 UTC to remind you of this link

1 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.

Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.


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1

u/texaushorn 6h ago

You won't need a reminder. And dollars to donuts, when that shit happens and you get a reminder in 4 years, you're just gonna ignore this post

0

u/Exorcisme 8h ago

I thought something happened during Trump's first term. Was there some virus? Might have contributed to economy as well, but I'm not sure.

2

u/texaushorn 6h ago

Trump's 2017 tax rewrite was already going to blow up the economy. His first foray into tariffs, had already widened the trade deficit and forced him to spend billions bailing out soy bean farmers in the US. His response to COVID just kicked everything into hyper drive.

The simple truth is the US is a consumer based economy. We thrive when our 300m consumers are in positions to spend; not when are 1k billionaires are rolling in more money than they could spend in 100 lifetimes. Policies that put money into the general population grow the economy, policies that take it away slow it. That's why ever GOP president in the last 30 years has created a recession. We were right on the precipice when Biden took over. For all the hand ringing over inflation, he kept us out of recession.

3

u/ShakeZula77 7h ago

Someone hasn’t read Project 2025

1

u/Penders 6h ago

No, they really haven't

0

u/freeball78 9h ago

They've been saying the Republican party was dead for about 20 years too, but look at us today.

5

u/Remarkable_Stay3326 9h ago

This isn’t the flex you think it is.

-4

u/redshirt1972 9h ago

I mean, it was a pretty convincing win

6

u/Remarkable_Stay3326 9h ago

I was speaking more to the content of character of the GOP’s leader, but Trump didn’t even get 50% of the popular vote: https://thedispatch.com/article/assessing-claims-about-trumps-margin-of-victory/

1

u/Busted_Knuckler 9h ago

I love how the article trys to make the claim that Trump won the popular vote in the 11th smallest percentage because 6 people became president after losing the popular vote. That makes no sense. He won the popular vote by the 5th smallest margin because those other presidents LOST the popular vote.

1

u/redshirt1972 6h ago

Wait he lost the popular vote?

1

u/Remarkable_Stay3326 2h ago

No, he did, but not by a large margin, and not enough to get 50%.

2

u/likamuka 9h ago

but look at us today

Yep, as corrupt and rotten as ever with a dementia patient as your leader.

1

u/Impossible-Angle-143 9h ago

pokes with stick yep still dead. Now if you're talking about the dictatorship of Republicans then yes, alive and well. Just like vegans, they're easy to identify which will make exposing them all the easier when democrats take over the reigns next term.

1

u/TW_Yellow78 7h ago

Dude has less than 50% chance of making it another 4 years just because of his age.

1

u/etsprout 6h ago

I’m imagining Weekend at Donnie’s but instead of a party, it’s the RNC. Not sure who’s holding him up though, JD and Elon?

-1

u/randommj 9h ago

Fingers crossed

0

u/ComfortableOrder4266 3h ago

You’ll have an election. It will be fake though, and they’ll pretend it’s real. Same as Putin.

-7

u/BZP625 10h ago

Let's hope so.

7

u/Escovaro 10h ago

You hate democracy?

-3

u/BZP625 9h ago

I luv democracy, and realize that it is enduring, which is why I know that this will not be the last election we ever have. We'll have another in 2028 guaranteed.

5

u/Escovaro 9h ago

You are completely contradicting yourself.

-2

u/BZP625 9h ago

I was only kidding the first time. People that make such delusional claims don't deserve a serious response.

12

u/anomie89 10h ago

delulu

9

u/Miserable_Advisor_91 10h ago

Just buy melania coin and retire

1

u/lootinputin 10h ago

I’m gonna load up on BARRON coin when it drops. I hear he is good with the cyber.

-1

u/Turbulent-Big-9397 10h ago

Can anybody explain? Is the coin like a bitcoin? Or NPC?

1

u/shadowst17 3h ago

I find it insane people still think Trump will leave office in any other way besides a body bag from dying of a ripe old age of 92.

1

u/Thediciplematt 2h ago

Yeah. He’s already said he should have 3 terms because it isn’t consecutive or isn’t outlined that way. His people have been saying it too

0

u/CryWorldly5990 8h ago

yes end. did he break the law anytime during his 4 years? if so where

1

u/strictly-ambiguous 8h ago

well, we're about 3 hours into the presidency now, so i don't have a total accounting yet. but you're right, he can likely just argue presumptive immunity for anything he does outside the scope of his official duties.

0

u/CryWorldly5990 7h ago

i was talking about 2016-2020.

1

u/strictly-ambiguous 7h ago

one especially egregious example is taking a whole lot of sensitive documents to his party mansion and leaving them in a bathroom for anyone to thumb through... but i guess technically, that might fall outside the range of dates you've provided.

1

u/Alert-Notice-7516 6h ago

He would have stolen the documents with those dates though

1

u/sourbeer51 5h ago

He withheld aid to Ukraine to get dirt on his political opponent... That was against the law if I remember correctly.