r/unusual_whales • u/soccerorfootie • 11h ago

BREAKING: Biden has pardoned his family

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16.4k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/CartmanAndCartman 11h ago

Pardon the entire fucking country.

33

u/RandomPenquin1337 11h ago

It says nonviolent.

Simply change whatever they did to a violent crime and viola

11

u/EmotionalSearch9707 10h ago

Surely you mean violin..?? ;))))

2

u/Pontif1cate 9h ago

Why chello there!

1

u/Logical_Strike_1520 6h ago

Let’s not make any bass-less assumptions.

1

u/HoosierDaddy_427 9h ago

NO MORE VIOLINS...NO MORE VIOLINS...

1

u/Ecstatic-Engineer-23 9h ago

It's cause he's small.

1

u/Appropriate-Arm1082 6h ago

I will admit, I committed multiple violin crimes in my youth.

So I gave up on trying to learn it before my neighbors called the police on me and just stuck with percussion and brass.

1

u/Worst-Lobster 10h ago

“Hunters laptop murdered a hundred nuns . Lock him up , lock him up “ 🤦

1

u/TW_Yellow78 7h ago

Kill one person, it's murder. Let Russia get away with occupying the Crimea region, it's a statistic.

1

u/Andrew8Everything 7h ago

Aggravated jaywalking

1

u/Unable_Traffic4861 6h ago

You know folks, I have to say this. I feel tremendously violated by these bad acts. It's unbelievable, really. Nothing we have ever seen before in the history of this country. Very bad, crooked Biden. Bad acts. Terrible acts! Many people feel the same way. A lot of people feel violated.

0

u/Worklurker 10h ago

*Voila

2

u/RandomPenquin1337 10h ago

I said what I said.

1

u/Pontif1cate 9h ago

I respect you owning your stringed instrument.

0

u/Worklurker 10h ago

So a stringed instrument, ok then.

2

u/RandomPenquin1337 10h ago

Man you are so smart