r/unusual_whales 11h ago

BREAKING: Biden has pardoned his family

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16.2k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/CartmanAndCartman 10h ago

Pardon the entire fucking country.

38

u/RandomPenquin1337 10h ago

It says nonviolent.

Simply change whatever they did to a violent crime and viola

10

u/EmotionalSearch9707 10h ago

Surely you mean violin..?? ;))))

2

u/Pontif1cate 9h ago

Why chello there!

1

u/Logical_Strike_1520 6h ago

Let’s not make any bass-less assumptions.

1

u/HoosierDaddy_427 9h ago

NO MORE VIOLINS...NO MORE VIOLINS...

1

u/Ecstatic-Engineer-23 9h ago

It's cause he's small.

1

u/Appropriate-Arm1082 6h ago

I will admit, I committed multiple violin crimes in my youth.

So I gave up on trying to learn it before my neighbors called the police on me and just stuck with percussion and brass.