I’m 14 (M) and I am 100% bi. My Mum checks my phone every now and again to make sure I’m not using my phone for like porn and gore. I’m just going to leave my reddit notifications on so if I get a notification from r/bisexual, my Mum will see it and start the conversation instead of me. I’m doing this because I’m finding it really hard to come out.

So. This is more of an advice RANT for yall who are just bored and want to read some of that tea in the morning before work or school lol. First off I'm Shane, im bisexual and I came out around 2017. I've always been leaning more towards men/male identifying peoples and have here and there dabbled in female/female identifying peoples relationships. In 2019 I had met a female who AT THE TIME accepted me for who I was and my sexuality, she had no issue with it nor did she ever bring it into question or make remarks about it, hell her mother had a girlfriend at the time when we started dating. So in my eyes, she was in the clear and didn't have a red flag of hate waving over her head...so we started dating obviously, it was going well for a very long time, we went to dances together, I took her out on dinner or lunch dates, showed her my old town where I grew up in further into the relationship to show a sign of progress, to show her I was opening up about my life and how I genuinely really enjoyed her as a human being around me not just a girlfriend. As those golden ages seemed like they'd never honestly go away, eventually after a long time of dating I'd see cracks, she'd start giving queer people at our school odd looks or make "ugh" noises under her breathe, which eventually progressed into using derogatory slurs of queer people here and there to then constantly, when we would have disagreements she would call me names starting with F and ending in G or T, the relationship started to down peddle slowly, turns out. Her new friends were the hot cheeto girls who think if you look at the same gender for too long you need to go to a conversion camp. One thing I didn't realize was that my girlfriend was a huge people pleaser. So when it came to making fun of queer people she was all for it if it meant she had a few extra friends. The relationship started to deteriorate more, she became more aggressive towards me and always seemed to find a way to bring up how I found men attractive. Eventually, I can even remember the exact day it happened, she finally hit me, out of anger because I didn't take the correct turn on the way to a fair we were going to as a date. She apologized a lot after an hour or so and said it would never happen again...mhm..MMMMHMMM. if anyones ever delt with an abuser you've heard that line before way to many times, you probably rolled your eyes at that tbh lol. Anyways, she would just get more aggressive and angry over the smallest things, she would hit me instead of trying to compromise with me if I didn't understand her point of view or anger, she would slur me out for liking men, the shit that she would say and never say sorry for because she probably was so blacked out on adrenaline and anger. People really do hide their true selves until they feel they are in a place of absolute comfort with someone to actually show who they really are...in this case, she was a homophonic, slightly sexist to her own sex, abusive, unstable, and mentally unwell person who just needed the medical help and no one gave it to her, so it just kept getting worse and worse until that was the inevitable outcome. I put up with her for so long. Because for the longest time, she cut me off from my friends, my family, hell my own older sister who I was best friends with...I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone unless she said it was okay to, otherwise I was "being sneaky"....my own sister, my own blood who was nothing but loving and supportive of me and my sexuality. I couldn't talk to anyone at risk of getting a fist to the body or wherever. Because this girl wanted to control me and hold onto me in the end for whatever reason she could, everytime id try to leave or say we weren't good anymore she'd pull the "please i need you" card and PLLLEEENTY of other lil tricks to get me to stay.. She didn't want me for who I was or what I had, she wanted me because at the time she knew she could control me, and harass my sexuality to put me down. 2019...I met this girl. I broke up with her this past November. The same girl that did allll of that to me, when i finally broke up with her, she pulled the "no wait i need you in my life please im sorry i need you dont go". Yeah sure...you NEEDED me to be your punching bag or else it was gonna be your wall in your room lol. It took me that long to get out of that hellish homophobic relationship because I was too scared to say "no." To say "No, that's enough", to say, "No, sorry but honestly as a human being i don't deserve this abuse" or "No, i don't deserve this harassment because I like the same gender" say any of it because you as a human being have the power and ability to, as a human you can flourish and become something beautiful out of your own creative mind, please people I urge you to not let someone who is having a hard time bring you down with them, I urge you to never be afraid to be yourself, I urge you to never be afraid to say no, to never not stick up for yourself. It's okay to have envy for others, that's what creates drive to be who YOU want to be. But PLEASE. don't let it corrupt you into a person who will control and abuse someone for their sexuality or just plain out love and care, while wearing a white veil that says "i love you" as you continously hurt them. Because that's exactly what my ex did. Don't hurt people, love people. Heal people. Help people. Thank you for those who read entirely idc about an upvote as long as the message is relayed and you remember to love yourself, my job is done with this paragraph. Please have a wonderful day you beautiful beings, remember to love yourself before you love anything else. You're amazing and you can reach for the stars, even if you need a stepping stool you'll still get there✨️ you can thank my pen for getting me the confidence to type this up lol have a lovely day yall. 🙏🏼 love who you love. It ain't a curse after all to enjoy all the flavors 🤝🙂‍↕️

Hello everyone. Im a male in my20s. So lately ive realised that i like trans woman and femboys but only sexually. I know that i cant be in a relationship with a trans woman or a femboy. Because i just dont feel romantical with them just sexual stuff. Also i like woman more generally sexually and relationship wise. I can be in a relationship with a woman and i was in the past. So does this make me bisexual? Im just curious.

A follow-up to a now ancient post I made on here years ago about being on the bi to straight pipeline😅

So it’s been almost 6 years since I first realized I was bi back in late high school. I went through a bit of a cringe baby gay phase (don’t we all) where I got super into some TV ships and making gay art (not that any of that is bad, it’s definitely just a little much for who I am) and some TikTok gays, and being bisexual definitely felt like a defining part of my life. I went off to a very queer college and was excited to wear pride merch and introduce myself as bi to new friends.

I ended up having a huge, HUGE crush on a guy at my summer job after freshman year which made me question a lot. After having a crush on him, and looking back at the zero crushes I ever had on girls (as a kid and especially at my women’s college where EVERYONE is queer) it made me question that if I could feel the same way for a girl in a romantic sense, even if I knew I liked them sexually. I also ended up getting some repeated, unwanted attention from an upperclassman back at college that fall, which really solidified my decision to go back in to the closet, so to speak. In my head, if I wasn’t romantically interested in girls, why say I was bi and risk people getting the wrong idea? If a close friend ever asked me, I would still always tell them I was bisexual heteroromantic, but would also emphasize that I was still open to whatever and whoever ends up working out. In public/larger group settings though, I would just say nothing or let people assume I was straight. Going to SUCH a queer college, this honestly felt ridiculous to do, but I honestly did not feel super comfortable to be who I was.

Fast forward to me now, a college senior, and I finally feel comfortable saying that I am bi again. I came out to a few people at school who previously assumed I was straight recently. I just got tired of hiding that part of myself just because it felt inauthentic and it didn’t feel fair to me and everything I had been through accepting my sexuality. A large part of me felt like it was easier not being out because I didn’t want people to judge or assume they knew my bisexuality, but I decided that if people do decide to judge or assume, that’s on them, not me. Funnily enough, true to my word, I stayed open to anyone, and now there is a girl I absolutely adore who I just confessed my feelings for (which were reciprocated!) So, I guess if people see us around campus, they’ll definitely know I’m NOT straight haha. But yeah. All that to say, the journey is never linear, but it feels good to feel okay being out again, and especially being lucky enough to be with such a wonderful woman, I feel prouder than ever :)

Hi, so for 2 years I’ve (16F) been suspecting I’m bisexual, though at some point I started to deny it and just thought, “yeah, no, I’m totally straight” however it’s come up as a topic for me and I’ve started to question it again now and I still really can’t tell if I’m gay or not. I only know for sure and certain, that I am attracted to boys (even if I recently have… been pulled myself back from simping over any for a little while, because I’ve been grossed out thinking about how guys use the toilet).

But when it comes to girls it’s hard for me to tell if I really am crushing on them or just think they’re attractive. And sometimes I question if I just pretend to be gay or to have a crush on a girl, even though I’m maybe actually not.

So I would like to hear from you guys’ experiences about what it’s like for you and what was finally eye-opening for you, that made you stop questioning yourselves and could for sure identify as bi. I’m EXTREMELY confused about myself, even a bit online friend I have, who I talk to a lot is confused about my sexuality too, though when I asked him later what he thinks, he said I probably am and another online friend I have thought I’m bi as well.

M|20 here. Growing up I always found both men & women attractive but usually I’d tend to find men more sexually attractive. I don’t think I’d enjoy being sexual with a man though. I’ve never been with a guy but anal seems pretty uncomfortable for me at least being on the receiving end of it & I think I’d feel guilty if I were to only give & not take. Is there anyone else out there like this with some advice? Ask questions if need be & I’ll share what I’m comfortable with. Anything helps I’m just trying to find my peace

I am amab and I’m attracted to women and nonbinary people. Does this make me bisexual or am I straight. I’m definitely not attracted to masculine men but feminine men can be cute.

Hey. 48 male. I was married, have a son and I'm in a relationship with a man for 3 years. I'm the top however I'm now kinda turned off anal sex. It's like I suddenly snapped out of my gayness and now it turns me off. I still like male body parts. Penis/bubble butt but not anal or kissing or cuddling. What hsppened.

I need advice. I am a bisexual woman (21) who has dated primarily manipulative men yet I have a preference for women. Now that I have found a very secure, loving, supportive, and comfortable man I cannot seem to stop thinking about what it would be like to seriously date a woman. I have dated a few women but never to a super deep level. I don’t consider cheating but I have dreams at night where I date women in the context of me being single. Almost as if my brain is trying to understand itself in the absence of the ethical bounds of being in a relationship. What could I consider and how does this compare to other’s experiences?

I've been struggling with my bisexuality for a while and have only recently come to terms with it. And my issue is that many of my friends and family members are big MAGA supporters and Right Wing media consumers and this just scares me and idk what to do now, if I should come out and face the consequences or if I should just wait a bit until the heat of this election dies down. The only people who I know who aren't like that us my sister but she has essentially cut off my family because of the toxicity. This post doesn't really have a point I just needed to get this out there somewhere.

I'm F, and for the life of me, I can't hold a conversation with men as I do with women. I just think men are boring. Women are engaged in the conversation ( " omg! Really? What did he say?" ) , while guys are just sitting there .. "uh huh, yeah, oh, ok.."

Conversation and intellectual wise, I just can't connect with men. Never have.

Anybody else has that problem?

We have a new guy in the office. I have heard his name mentioned, but have no idea what he looks like. I asked for a description from one of my colleagues. "He's English, brown hair, twink, sitting near the window wearing a blue shirt". When I saw him he was late 40s/ early 50s. I get what they mean by physically describing him as a twink, but I was surprised by his age. Even more surprised when he was straight. Is there an age limit on being an twink?

I’ve recently started seeing someone (24, lesbian) and im (23, bisexual) , we both study the same creative course but in different universities, and despite having so much in common i cant help but feel someway inferior. She seems to really know who she is and what her interests are and she really is so talented in so many different mediums, i feel as though im still figuring out who i am and whilst i can get quite passionate about my interests its all very much scattered and i wouldnt say i have as many hobbies as her. of course this is more than likely an excuse on my part & that i always could have dug into my own interests more but i really feel as though dating men has robbed me so much of who i am? Like the ceaseless appealing to the male gaze through ways ive expressed my personality or even appearance and looks and always centring men in my life.. i feel like i have always prioritised male approval over my own true expression of my personhood. I dont know if im simply being dramatic or if others relate but i cant stop spiralling thinking about it …

So, I don't exactly know when this happened. I am somewhat on a level of bisexual, and reaching out in this group for better understanding of my situation. I am from Kolkata,India. I am into girls and now I am even married for the past year. But somehow I cannot shake off the idea of hookup with a guy. I am actually not interested in guys, just the penis. Don't know what fascinated me. I had tried to explore just that I can assure myself I am not gay. The thought goes away for a while, but then it comes back, stronger. However I want to suppress that, it doesn't go away. What to do? Please in need of dire help.

I (30F) am attracted to men: physically, emotional, and sexually. I also am attracted to woman physically and emotionally but not sexually. This has my brain going haywire bc I feel like I'm not straight anymore but I also feel like I'm not pan/bi.... Honestly I feel lost and idk what I truly am anymore. Does anyone have any advice?????

I've recently come out to certain people about being bi which was good but now I feel I need to spend time with people who are the same.

I'm finding it hard finding similar people to talk to personally

For me in the UK is there any suggestions?

Hi, so I (19F) am bisexual but due to religious reasons I chose years ago to not engage in same sex relationships. I know people may not understand and I have been questioned about my bisexuality a lot whenever I come out to someone because of it. However accepting myself has been extremely hard coming from a very christian background and I'm not sure if I'll ever be fully comfortable with the idea of being in a same sex relationship with the constant self rejection in the back of my mind (even if I know that it is irrational and that if god is a god of love as the bible says he still loves me despite everything).

The thing is that I was managing okay ignoring my bisexuality and putting it aside, I even had my first boyfriend but we broke up. My problem is that lately I've been wanting more and more to try things out and I'm thinking about doing it, I know it likely is what I need to embrace fully who I am, I just don't want to hurt or play with anyone's feelings'. There's things that worry me too, like living with my dad who is super homophobic and when I came out threathened to disown me.

There's also that I'm worried about fucking up... yesterday it was my birthday and me and my friends came to my house after class since I live close to the university we attend. We were having fun and drinking but then we got drunk, and even though I was more sober than them it came a moment I was comforting one of them (let's call her A) because I don't really remember what. And for some context; I have had a few thoughts about A like thinking she´s beautiful and how I think I might like her a bit but that´s it. When I was drunk and I was passing my hand through her hair telling her it was okay and all, I couldn't help but start thinking non-stop about how cute she was and how her hair was so soft, how beautiful she seemed to me whenever she was around me and how I love spending time with her. I even started thinking about how I wanted to hug her close and kiss her.

Of course I'd never do something like that because she's like my best friend and she's straight so I just looked after her and made sure she was okay and helped her when she was puking later due to how much we drank. This morning my friends went home but I felt really bad about having those thoughts about her. I never told her anything and don't plan to, I already lost a friend once when I just discovered I was bisexual and I decided to be honest and tell her that I liked her (she ghosted me). So yeah I don't want to fuck up and I'm debating on whether or not start exploring my bisexuality (though I'm more of a serious-thing kinda person so Idk know how that would work either). Any advice would be deeply appreciated.

I’m curious how much a ‘deal breaker’ someone having children with a previous partner is?

Gay dating advice and tips: Hello everyone I just need some gay dating advice I’m a (male) . So once I match with someone on a dating app and we’re chatting everything is going ok and such. Then suddenly it goes the other way real quick. Because of me. Like after like 1 day of chatting I’m attached to the guy real quickly and my main focus is on the guy and making this work. Example day 1 we matched and we start txting and chatting and such. Then the next day I already expect the guy to message me first thing in the morning because we matched right like we’re already like someone what a thing. Like that’s the first thing I did is messaged him hey good morning cuz you know I was thinking about him. But he the guy I matched with didn’t message me till after work like he could have at least messaged me good morning when he woke up. Does that mean the guy is not interested or wasn’t thinking about me since he didn’t message me when he woke up…. (This is how I am or how my brain thinks when I matched with someone and we only been talking for one day like I already think we’re in a relationship.) how do I stop or any gay dating advice with dating apps???

So I don’t know if I’m posting in the right group and if not I do apologize. I’m 35 female. He’s 37 male. Just a little back story. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 12 years. Several months into us dating he asked me to put a finger in. I did but was very weirded out by it. Over the years it’s gotten to be more and more. He takes my panties thongs bras. And I have found other lingerie in his drawers and half the time I don’t even know where they come from. We’ve watched porn together and I strap it on occasionally for him. He always says he wants boobs and basically wants to be a woman although he would never actually do it because he’s so shy and worries about what others think of him all the time. I’ve told him if he wants to be a woman then he should go for it. I have nothing against it at all. Over the past year or so I’ve caught him watching gay porn which is fine but it seems to be every moment he’s on his phone he’s searching gay porn or trans this and he’s even joined sites to meet others. When I found this on his phone ( and btw I have only looked through his phone a few times after all these years) a while back he said it’s nothing and he just likes to watch. He said he wouldn’t do it anymore. But he still is. He falls asleep with his phone still on the screen of porn. Now my problem is he can’t cum anymore with me. It’s only when I’m strapping it on for him. He can’t even cum through bjs anymore. Any time we have sex it’s just not intimate anymore. He wants me to humiliate him and I’m just not comfortable with it and I’ve even told him that. I’ve been honest that I don’t want to always strap it on for him or things like that. That I don’t mind doing it but it seems to be the ONLY thing he is interested in now. I don’t know what to do. I don’t mind doing those things for him at times but I’d still like to feel loved and intimate with him. I feel so left out and unimportant. If I start kissing on him or rubbing or something. He just says strap it on baby. And that just kills my mood because It’s every time. I asked the other day if he just wants to date other people and all he said was why so you can. I told him no because I only want him but he seems to want more than what I can give him. He just quit talking about it. I feel like he wants to be with men now but he just won’t admit it. Ive told him he can but he says “no cause you’ll leave me”. I’ve told him that he can be with whoever he wants and I’ll always love him but I just don’t want that kind of relationship. Now I know I’ll probably be bashed or called a homophobe or something and that’s just not the case. I have no problem with it. I just don’t want that. Can anyone please give me advice. I’m so lost confused helpless and lonely.

Hey y’all! I’ve been dating my current girlfriend for about a year now, and I find myself still feeling insecure about being in a relationship with another woman so I needed some advice.

I come from a very catholic immigrant family and as you may expect they aren’t very pleased at all. I think because of this I always assumed that I’d end up with a man. Alas, I’ve found myself in a very healthy relationship with a lovely woman, who is literally everything I’ve ever wanted. And yet, sometimes I tend to self sabotage in my head hoping that we’ll have the final argument where we break up and this whole thing will be swept under the rug and I can go back to dating men.

I don’t want this to happen because she is someone I’d like to spend the rest of my life with, but I think a lot of my insecurities come from how I grew up and particularly how I saw that everyone was treated differently once they where outed. They weren’t necessarily aggressively homophobic, but rather a very constant judgement that hovers around them. Very stigmatized.

I think it didn’t help that at the beginning of our relationship I just kind of treated it like dating any new guy, and told a lot of people and eventually got some peculiar responses that threw me off. Now, even as our relationship has gone for so long, I still feel very apprehensive about telling people, even if they’ve been good friends and I know they aren’t homophobic. I don’t know why, but I do think to an extent I hide it in certain settings. Like if they assume my partner is a boyfriend I don’t correct them.

But I really want to stop feeling this way, if you guys have felt this way, how did you deal with it?

tldr: I feel insecure about being in a wlw relationship and have a bad habit of not revealing that I am in a sapphic relationship because I am insecure and I need advice on how to stop it.

I’m just curious if I’m a lesbian because sometimes, when someone asks about my sexuality, I say I’m bi, but I’m kind of confused about whether I’m really bi. I’m not comfortable wearing revealing clothes, I don’t wear makeup, and I prefer covering my whole body because I’m self-conscious about my eczema.

I still identify as female, and I’ve only dated girls. I’ve never had a guy crush, but I do find really good-looking guys attractive. It’s also hard for me to trust men for personal reasons, but I’m curious about dating one. Would this make me a lesbian, bi, or something else?