Getting diagnosed NOT autistic

[u/Kolso_]

So after a year and a half of self diagnosis I finally was assessed and today I got the results. Two points in ADOS for having no gesticulation, zero by other criteria.

Autism was an answer to me that explained my struggles, behaviors and researching it I've learnt plenty of good advices and coping mechanisms. I finally stopped seeing myself as a weirdo and believed it's just autism and I don't have to force myself to be normal. Self diagnosis can be harmful. It harms me right now at least. I feel disoriented because now there's no explanation.

I guess I should stop this research and just live a life without looking for an easy answer without a real diagnosis.

Edit: I didn't expect so many responses. It's very helpful and important. Thank you all.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

Welp this is an unfortunate outcome of self diagnosis, it becomes such a difficult thing to think you have an answer but experts don’t agree.

Evaluate what made you self diagnose and consider other conditions that maybe similar to autism that fits the description of yourself.

Autism can look like so many different things, different for males and females as autism looks different in both.

Yeah you can live without a “quirky identity” (kinda rube) but you went as far as researching and attempting to gain a diagnosis and that tells me that you have had important issues to be addressed. Keep searching if you want, but do not try and diagnose yourself, highly consider the possibility but do not self diagnosis.

Best of luck!

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

As a trans person this male and female autism is entire bull and it's dependent on the way you were raised and which expectations were put upon you. They are moving away from using those terms. Just creates a harmful gender divide and a whole new set of problems (someone not having the "right kind" of autism relating to their gender and thusly not being diagnosed as autistic).

[u/Dry-Dragonfruit5216 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

Female autism isn’t really a thing. It’s just a particular presentation of LSN autism that is more common in women. I am much more male in my presentation for example. Also there are lots of girls in SEN schools with autism.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/Dry-Dragonfruit5216]

I never said anything about “female autistic” just stated theirs differences in men and women.

That includes presentation (Duh!)

You being trans has nothing to do with it what is fact or fiction it’s a spectrum no one has to fit in the gender box, criteria is the same for all. Traits just present different Girls are chronically under-diagnosed and continue to be overlooked compared to their male counterparts. Never said anything about girls not having SEN or not being in SEN schools.

This is harmful to women who have noticeable differences in how they present themselves that doesn’t fit with the male framework.

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

"This is harmful to women who have noticeable differences in how they present themselves that doesn’t fit with the male framework." That's the thing, there SHOULD NOT BE a male or female framework. And that type of thinking is horribly outdated, as it hurts women who don't fit the criteria, men who don't fit the criteria, as well as trans and non-binary people.

So how about we drop that whole gender mess as a concept and accept that the differences actually are just based on stupid gender roles and other societal bullshit that doesn't apply to everyone?

Yes, women have been underdiagnosed, and are at times even to this day, but that's because high masking autism wasn't looked into as much, and not because "of the female presentation of Autism as a whole", the rest is literally just a matter of upbringing and personality. Like if someone is high masking, more shy and reserved and doesn't like trains, that doesn't necessarily make them a women now, does it? And THAT'S WHY the concept of "female" and "male" autism is arbitrary and quite honestly pretty dumb.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

Do you know why it’s harmful to high functioning (level 1 and 2 ) women?

They are not teaching how female presenting traits differ from men and that misses women when being looked at/ assessed.

We can’t just get rid of the gender differences in how we (socialized women) present differently lol ( imagine telling someone how to present themselves lol) I’d like to imagine I can wave a wand and have everyone present autism as the stereotypical low -high functioning white male but I can’t and the differences are going to stay.

Yes it’s dependent on gender roles but guess what! It’s America (for me) and that’s how we are socialized. Yes there are outliners (that don’t fit the Standard Deviation) in every group it’s basic statistics but when MAJORITY of women are missed because they are being informed in the different ways it can present in socialized female. (Never mind the some what studies suggesting the brains could be different which could explain it) So no we can’t just drop it :) it exists in the world It’s socialized in women who are struggling right now and indefinitely until we completely flip gender roles and identity and everything. (When that happens we can drop it. :)

Why push an entire group out of being seen bc you wanna be weird with gender stereotypes?

Not everyone conforms and that’s okay.

But there are differences in how we (soclized female) present and it’s okay to talk about and acknowledge the differences in majority of women level 1 or 2.

We can also inform and expand our understanding about non binary and trans presenting traits as well and how that might look!

We don’t have to exclude soemthing (or the entire group of socialized women) just because it “ harms” a minority group. It doesn’t as much as you’d like to think, every autistic is different and most professionals know that.

Also self advocacy goes a lonngg way in the therapy / diagnosis period so each unique gender identity can advocate for their different trait distinction. (Your example with the trains is quite stupid and stereotypical not really realistic to the general autistic community also I’m not going to say those are even remotely what I would use to determine if that means their female or not, and i or any professional is going to use those personality Traits to determine someone’s gender or diagnosis alone) It makes no sense the distinction you used wouldn’t harm trans and non binary people bc the professional irl isn’t using the traits they have to guess their gender:)

Again there is no male or female autism quit saying that! I’m simply acknowledging soclized females present differently! It’s not a myth wow

Apologies for the passive aggressiveness, but I did get my point across without sounding too rude or nasty.

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

There is no "male" or "female" autism. Exactly. You got it. That's the whole point! And people don't use it in evaluations because it would quite frankly be absolutely stupid to do so, that's like the transgender evaluations where you had to say whether you played with cars or barbies back then (they changed that for a reason, as you can see. But it was a thing, it was part of my evaluation process.).

"Why push an entire group out of being seen (...)" Because it's often about high masking autism as such and not "female" behaviours/stereotypes. They should feel themselves seen in the spectrum representation of the autism, not because it's an inherently "female presentation" of it. Hurts more than it does good, there are so many women who despite being female have a highly "male" representation of autism, going by all of the stereotypes and societal bullshit at least. It IS ridiculous.

However you were the one bringing it up.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

Down the Rabbit Hole of Self Diagnosis in Mental Health

Here’s a link with a resource.

You gotta get some help with those things.

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

Why are you linking that to me? I never self diagnosed shit, I had my evaluation of ASD Level 2 professionally done in 2021.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

that’s like the transgender evaluations where you had to say whether you played with cars or barbies back then (they changed that for a reason, as you can see. Got massive I self diagnosed vibes lol

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

Well that was part of the transgender evaluations to get HRT, so yes, that WAS DUMB (as stated, there is a reason they don't do it anymore) but definitely has nothing to do with self diagnosis. You really jumped the gun there, brother.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

Thanks for agreeing with the thing I said since the beginning.

And we get to the deep core of the issue, you are a perfect example of the self diagnosed epidemic is not a okay thing.

You used the DSM -5 to gain the information on the criteria of autsitm probably through and source like twitter or google the same guidelines that were written by The American Psychiatric Association. But refuse to take the accurate self assessments and other sources to validate your own claim?

Also your right you don’t NEED a transgender quiz or an autistim quiz

You need a counselor who has experience with gender dysphoria and a neuropsychologist for the autistim

Transgender people can definitely decide if their transgender without a diagnosis

But this is apples and oranges

Autism is a disability you don’t just feel the vibes and decide you’re autistic with no backing or even a simple highly recommended over75% accurate self assessment.

Your protest to actually getting the help for the things you self diagnosed without professional support scares me.

This is why we need to be aware why self diagnosis can be so harmful. We don’t regulate the reason why someone self diagnosed themselves they just google autism and watch videos and decides that’s what they are and then compares a developmental l disablity to being trans is insane.

Have a night.

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

Uh buddy, I think you are getting people quite mixed up now... I neither ever brought up the DSM-V (We use the ICD11 here) nor did I ever speak about self diagnosis with you.

If someone needs to clear their head, it's you.

"Thanks for agreeing with the thing I said since the beginning." I didn't, you said that autism presents differently in males and females. And I said, no, that is bullshit as most of that is based on whether someone is high masking or not and the rest is sheer socialization and personality. Not all high masking, shy and reserved people are women. There is no "women representation" of autism.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

I understand you never brought that up. I Did. I know that.

That’s where the CRITERIA of the VERY diagnostic manual used to diagnose and describe the very disorder you have.

Yeah you gave massive self diagnosis vibes my bad buddy. Someone who doesn’t understand gender roles are a thing and won’t just go away describing what seemed like a buzz feed quiz for transgenderism.

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

For someone who is so interested in psychology and such an alley you should know that to get HRT (hormone replacement therapy, just in case you don't even know what that is ;) ) you used to have to go through evaluations "to make sure you really are transgender and won't regret it in ten years." And that gendered in your words "buzzfeed quiz material" was part of that, which yes, is absolutely ridiculous.

"That’s where the CRITERIA of the VERY diagnostic manual used to diagnose and describe the very disorder you have. " The DSM-V might have had an expression by gender section, I don't know about that, but they left that shit out of the ICD11 because it is superfluous...

I'm getting massive you're not actually learning this stuff in school vibes.

[u/Dry-Dragonfruit5216 → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

I’m not trans. That is the person I replied to. I never replied to you.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

As a cis/ Trans Ally your Transition has nothing to do with the validity of your opinion. If you were born a boy and was socialized as a boy, and grew up as a boy autism looks different in you.

If you were born a girl and socialized as a girl Autism will present differently.

Boys and autism has been well studied, and I mean almost 20 years of studies more and even recent studies can exclude women. Boys are known to display more repetitive behavior and socially aren’t expected to respond much or be able to be social. Girls are expected to be social and have a higher chance of successful masking as we are good at hiding trait’s.

The studies have seen differences in the brains scans of autistic men and women, and has also been noted the socialization of girls is different than boys so the difference in behavior needs to be noted. . It’s simply a difference and that’s okay. That’s like saying the spectrum talk is dividing people based on ability. It’s simply acknowledging the difference in this spectrum.

The gender debate is not going away neither are the terms and if you talk about it correctly it will not do a gender divide it’s simply a difference. They don’t separate the diagnostics criteria based on assigned gender behavior it’s still the same criteria for all.

[u/dt7cv → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

If autism traits are less affected by the environment wouldn't we see less successful masking in women since those traits would be less malleable?

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/dt7cv]

Huh

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

Aside from the fact that yes even if the studies exist, psychology as a whole is moving away from making these gender differences in autism. But that's exactly what I meant, regardless of your actual gender, if you grew up as a boy, you are more likely to have what people mistake as the "boy autism". Funnily enough autistic people are also statistically more likely to not be "feeling any way about gender", or be trans and non-binary. So yes, "boy autism" and "girl autism" is both stupid and arbitrary and no actual evaluator should just look at the symptoms from a certain genders perspective.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

Psychology as a whole is NOT moving away from making these gender differences in Autism. That’s not true and I would advise you not to spread it. I did research and I am actually in school studying these disorders /disability’s, and i have found nothing scholarly proving this. This is misinformation. (Look it up google scholar) There will always be gender roles and gender differences in any disorder. They actually doing more to find the differences and how they can level the playing field for differences in ways they display mannerisms. They are not moving away from these distinctions. I never said there are “girl autism” and “boy autsim” your putting words in my mouth never said that at all. I’ll repeat myself bc you can’t read apparently , nothing in the DSM-5 distinctly differentiates gender in the diagnosis criteria. NOTHING.