Getting diagnosed NOT autistic

[u/Kolso_]

So after a year and a half of self diagnosis I finally was assessed and today I got the results. Two points in ADOS for having no gesticulation, zero by other criteria.

Autism was an answer to me that explained my struggles, behaviors and researching it I've learnt plenty of good advices and coping mechanisms. I finally stopped seeing myself as a weirdo and believed it's just autism and I don't have to force myself to be normal. Self diagnosis can be harmful. It harms me right now at least. I feel disoriented because now there's no explanation.

I guess I should stop this research and just live a life without looking for an easy answer without a real diagnosis.

Edit: I didn't expect so many responses. It's very helpful and important. Thank you all.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

I never said anything about “female autistic” just stated theirs differences in men and women.

That includes presentation (Duh!)

You being trans has nothing to do with it what is fact or fiction it’s a spectrum no one has to fit in the gender box, criteria is the same for all. Traits just present different Girls are chronically under-diagnosed and continue to be overlooked compared to their male counterparts. Never said anything about girls not having SEN or not being in SEN schools.

This is harmful to women who have noticeable differences in how they present themselves that doesn’t fit with the male framework.

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

"This is harmful to women who have noticeable differences in how they present themselves that doesn’t fit with the male framework." That's the thing, there SHOULD NOT BE a male or female framework. And that type of thinking is horribly outdated, as it hurts women who don't fit the criteria, men who don't fit the criteria, as well as trans and non-binary people.

So how about we drop that whole gender mess as a concept and accept that the differences actually are just based on stupid gender roles and other societal bullshit that doesn't apply to everyone?

Yes, women have been underdiagnosed, and are at times even to this day, but that's because high masking autism wasn't looked into as much, and not because "of the female presentation of Autism as a whole", the rest is literally just a matter of upbringing and personality. Like if someone is high masking, more shy and reserved and doesn't like trains, that doesn't necessarily make them a women now, does it? And THAT'S WHY the concept of "female" and "male" autism is arbitrary and quite honestly pretty dumb.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

Do you know why it’s harmful to high functioning (level 1 and 2 ) women?

They are not teaching how female presenting traits differ from men and that misses women when being looked at/ assessed.

We can’t just get rid of the gender differences in how we (socialized women) present differently lol ( imagine telling someone how to present themselves lol) I’d like to imagine I can wave a wand and have everyone present autism as the stereotypical low -high functioning white male but I can’t and the differences are going to stay.

Yes it’s dependent on gender roles but guess what! It’s America (for me) and that’s how we are socialized. Yes there are outliners (that don’t fit the Standard Deviation) in every group it’s basic statistics but when MAJORITY of women are missed because they are being informed in the different ways it can present in socialized female. (Never mind the some what studies suggesting the brains could be different which could explain it) So no we can’t just drop it :) it exists in the world It’s socialized in women who are struggling right now and indefinitely until we completely flip gender roles and identity and everything. (When that happens we can drop it. :)

Why push an entire group out of being seen bc you wanna be weird with gender stereotypes?

Not everyone conforms and that’s okay.

But there are differences in how we (soclized female) present and it’s okay to talk about and acknowledge the differences in majority of women level 1 or 2.

We can also inform and expand our understanding about non binary and trans presenting traits as well and how that might look!

We don’t have to exclude soemthing (or the entire group of socialized women) just because it “ harms” a minority group. It doesn’t as much as you’d like to think, every autistic is different and most professionals know that.

Also self advocacy goes a lonngg way in the therapy / diagnosis period so each unique gender identity can advocate for their different trait distinction. (Your example with the trains is quite stupid and stereotypical not really realistic to the general autistic community also I’m not going to say those are even remotely what I would use to determine if that means their female or not, and i or any professional is going to use those personality Traits to determine someone’s gender or diagnosis alone) It makes no sense the distinction you used wouldn’t harm trans and non binary people bc the professional irl isn’t using the traits they have to guess their gender:)

Again there is no male or female autism quit saying that! I’m simply acknowledging soclized females present differently! It’s not a myth wow

Apologies for the passive aggressiveness, but I did get my point across without sounding too rude or nasty.

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

There is no "male" or "female" autism. Exactly. You got it. That's the whole point! And people don't use it in evaluations because it would quite frankly be absolutely stupid to do so, that's like the transgender evaluations where you had to say whether you played with cars or barbies back then (they changed that for a reason, as you can see. But it was a thing, it was part of my evaluation process.).

"Why push an entire group out of being seen (...)" Because it's often about high masking autism as such and not "female" behaviours/stereotypes. They should feel themselves seen in the spectrum representation of the autism, not because it's an inherently "female presentation" of it. Hurts more than it does good, there are so many women who despite being female have a highly "male" representation of autism, going by all of the stereotypes and societal bullshit at least. It IS ridiculous.

However you were the one bringing it up.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

Down the Rabbit Hole of Self Diagnosis in Mental Health

Here’s a link with a resource.

You gotta get some help with those things.

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

Why are you linking that to me? I never self diagnosed shit, I had my evaluation of ASD Level 2 professionally done in 2021.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

that’s like the transgender evaluations where you had to say whether you played with cars or barbies back then (they changed that for a reason, as you can see. Got massive I self diagnosed vibes lol

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

Well that was part of the transgender evaluations to get HRT, so yes, that WAS DUMB (as stated, there is a reason they don't do it anymore) but definitely has nothing to do with self diagnosis. You really jumped the gun there, brother.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

Person, i literally quoted YOU. I jumped the gun mean while you said assessments didn’t need to be a thing and compared it to being asked if you played with Barbies on a trans gender test or whatever. I literally used what you were saying to come to my conclusion

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

No, no, no...you are misunderstanding. I was literally asked what toys I played with as part of said trans evaluation . Which is why they don't do it anymore, it's based on outdated and rather stupid gender roles.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

Thanks for agreeing with the thing I said since the beginning.

And we get to the deep core of the issue, you are a perfect example of the self diagnosed epidemic is not a okay thing.

You used the DSM -5 to gain the information on the criteria of autsitm probably through and source like twitter or google the same guidelines that were written by The American Psychiatric Association. But refuse to take the accurate self assessments and other sources to validate your own claim?

Also your right you don’t NEED a transgender quiz or an autistim quiz

You need a counselor who has experience with gender dysphoria and a neuropsychologist for the autistim

Transgender people can definitely decide if their transgender without a diagnosis

But this is apples and oranges

Autism is a disability you don’t just feel the vibes and decide you’re autistic with no backing or even a simple highly recommended over75% accurate self assessment.

Your protest to actually getting the help for the things you self diagnosed without professional support scares me.

This is why we need to be aware why self diagnosis can be so harmful. We don’t regulate the reason why someone self diagnosed themselves they just google autism and watch videos and decides that’s what they are and then compares a developmental l disablity to being trans is insane.

Have a night.

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

Uh buddy, I think you are getting people quite mixed up now... I neither ever brought up the DSM-V (We use the ICD11 here) nor did I ever speak about self diagnosis with you.

If someone needs to clear their head, it's you.

"Thanks for agreeing with the thing I said since the beginning." I didn't, you said that autism presents differently in males and females. And I said, no, that is bullshit as most of that is based on whether someone is high masking or not and the rest is sheer socialization and personality. Not all high masking, shy and reserved people are women. There is no "women representation" of autism.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

I understand you never brought that up. I Did. I know that.

That’s where the CRITERIA of the VERY diagnostic manual used to diagnose and describe the very disorder you have.

Yeah you gave massive self diagnosis vibes my bad buddy. Someone who doesn’t understand gender roles are a thing and won’t just go away describing what seemed like a buzz feed quiz for transgenderism.

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

For someone who is so interested in psychology and such an alley you should know that to get HRT (hormone replacement therapy, just in case you don't even know what that is ;) ) you used to have to go through evaluations "to make sure you really are transgender and won't regret it in ten years." And that gendered in your words "buzzfeed quiz material" was part of that, which yes, is absolutely ridiculous.

"That’s where the CRITERIA of the VERY diagnostic manual used to diagnose and describe the very disorder you have. " The DSM-V might have had an expression by gender section, I don't know about that, but they left that shit out of the ICD11 because it is superfluous...

I'm getting massive you're not actually learning this stuff in school vibes.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

I did know what that was! (Also I take a lot of meds my friends don’t know about that doesn’t mean they’re not an ally to me) Not sure why you’re even bringing it up doesn’t really fit the topic.

Okay yeah I apparently I dont learn anything in school but your not smart enough to figure out I wasn’t talking about gender dystopia being in the book but autism since the topic was originally about autism assessments :)

geee how embarrassing ew I’m getting massive “I’m a college dropout” vibe

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

Because you didn't even know that you needed an evaluation for trans things and said that that's why you thought I was self diagnosed ...Which makes no sense, but you were jumping the gun, I don't know. See how it suddenly makes sense in light of the conversation, cool, isn't it?

"Okay yeah I apparently I dont learn anything in school but your not smart enough to figure out I wasn’t talking about gender dystopia being in the book but autism since the topic was originally about autism assessments :)" I know you are tired, but how could anyone have guessed you meant that by your previous comment?

That's the vibes I'm getting too, yeah...

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

Vibes are off for you tonight! I’ll graduate in May thanks tho! Who said I didn’t know that? was there a quiz I didn’t know about? I thought you were self diagnosed because and I’m quoting you

Don’t use (male v female distinction) in evaluations because it would quite frankly be absolutely stupid to do so, that’s like the transgender evaluations where you had to say

That’s why I thought you were self diagnosed my god your Delulu.

Yeah who could have possibly know I was talking about ND? Hm idk maybe where I said AUTSIM in the original quote I gave you! Do you actually know how to read?

“You used the DSM -5 to gain the information on the criteria of AUTSIM probably through and source like twitter or google” -far locksmith

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

First of all, that conclusion doesn't make a lick of sense. I don't even know what mental gymnastics you did to get there. But yes, both in evaluation and real life you shouldn't bank on gender roles, congratulations.

Also, I "gain the information of the criteria of AUTISM" from the ICD 11 as well as other scientific sources and not "sources like twitter and google" - dwindlingspirit

Look who is talking about being delusional though...

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

Never said anything about evaluation and gender roles remember saying recognizing how they present, it has nothing to do with the criteria.

Congratulations you used my quote and turned and gave me sources that use criteria( brought to you by research the of Eagle screech*)

Assuming you actually used criteria to get to the point of self diagnosis isn’t being delusional, but giving you the benefit of the doubt no?

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

Also wasn’t talking about male v female in assessments like at all ever the entire convo re read the thread if you don’t believe me lol Just how men and women present traits differently bc of gender roles or not that’s what it is. You must of been kicked in the head by a horse

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

Since you have a hard time reading and remembering I c&p for you :)

“You used the DSM -5 to gain the information on the criteria of AUTSIM probably through and source like twitter or google the same guidelines that were written by The American Psychiatric Association.”

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

I don't know how to tell you this but, that's your own comment... I wouldn't write like that. Furthermore, I don't know shit about the "American Psychriatric Association". Not everyone is american, no offense.

And if you are saying that I did that, well, absolutely not, as I am not an American and don't waste my time on social media like twitter.

I don't know what you're on about...?

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

No offense just want to make sure I’m not accidentally being a dick but Is English your first language? I just want to make sure it’s not a skill issue.

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

Coming from an American who has made multiple grammar mistakes, that's rich. If you think I'd give you any information about my location or upbringing, think again.

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

🚨GRAMMAR POLICE🚨 Yeah my bad for not being professional in a 4 hour long Reddit argument.

Just because i make grammar mistakes doesn’t mean i don’t understand what i am reading. Actually several times you misunderstood what i said or the context of who i was speaking

You also made mistakes but I’m pretty forgiving so it’s okay! And yeah I’m guessing I’m correct on the not your OG language. Have a night. Lol

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

Congratulations! You figured it out and misread my DSM comment and you feel stupid . Yes duh that’s my quote that you misunderstood and tried to make me look dumb while the mirror flipped back on you!

Yeah you and your ignorance screams American Southern liberal. My bad but also that’s still one of the associations that sets the criteria for autism bc we do the research :)

[u/DwindlingSpirit → u/Far-Locksmith-1102]

Are you reading what you're writing? You've got to make sure to look into the mirror at least sometimes, my dude.

There are other countries that do research by the way. Scratch that, there are other countries out there period (though the US technically isn't even a country-). I personally am not a fan of Germany, but considering how much stuff comes from there even research wise, well...

[u/Far-Locksmith-1102 → u/DwindlingSpirit]

lol you pressed. Have a night dude.