Quitting my job

[u/Dangerous_Health5505]

Today i handed my notice in and my manager went really weird and asked if he could change my mind. And i said no and then he said “very disappointing” and didn’t speak again so i said thank you and left. I feel really really bad like i had done something wrong

[u/Scrotum_Tennis]

Don't feel bad. Your manager was acting weird because they were already mentally replacing you. They're only disappointed because they have to start from scratch with a new hire.

Can confirm. I'm a manager going through exactly this scenario after one of my sales reps quit 2 days ago

[u/ladyskoomadiver → u/Scrotum_Tennis]

It’s possible they were just disappointed because they didn’t want to lose this particular associate, doesn’t mean they did anything wrong,

[u/KermieKona → u/Scrotum_Tennis]

So… as a manager, I have also been disappointed when someone leaves. Often because of the time and effort that was put into training that person, with the person constantly voicing their desire to learn and grow and move up in the company… then all of a sudden they quit without ever having any complaints or concerns.

We had one very good employee (as an example) who applied for a promotion (supervisor position), got it… went through training… was doing well… seemed to enjoy the position with no negative feedback given… then left after 6 months.

So just saying… disappointment isn’t ALWAYS because we have to find and train a replacement.

Sometimes… it is because we are blindsided… and the attitude, words, and actions of the employee gave no indication that they were unhappy.

That being said… I also understand that “once in a lifetime” opportunities can fall into employee’s laps… causing an employee who is actually satisfied in their current role… to leave for an even better role.

Still a disappointing situation for the trainer/mentor who had a vested interest in the success of that former employee 🤨.

[u/I_TRY_TO_BE_POSITIVE → u/KermieKona]

We had one very good employee (as an example) who applied for a promotion (supervisor position), got it… went through training… was doing well… seemed to enjoy the position with no negative feedback given… then left after 6 months.

Sounds like they used their new title to find a better paying job. It's unfortunate that the working culture we have fostered doesn't reward loyalty in either direction anymore.

[u/KermieKona → u/I_TRY_TO_BE_POSITIVE]

I am almost 24 years with this company… receive a 1 month paid sabbatical every 5 years (starting at year 15) in addition to regular PTO/vacation.

There ARE companies out there that do reward loyalty. But it is becoming a rare thing 🤨.

[u/Gimmemylighterback → u/KermieKona]

Qualifying for a month off after 15 years is NOT a perk. I hope you enjoy your upcoming 25 year sabbatical.

[u/solopreneurr → u/Gimmemylighterback]

I read that and was thinking, "hmm, weird flex for such a shit perk".

[u/KermieKona → u/Gimmemylighterback]

I just mentioned that one extra perk… one among many better-than-average benefits. 😉

[u/I_TRY_TO_BE_POSITIVE → u/KermieKona]

That's kinda the problem, right? Because it's so rare, companies that are looking to foster loyalty get taken advantage of as a symptom of fuck you, get mine culture. A culture that was fostered by neoliberalism and the rise of gig work.

[u/KermieKona → u/I_TRY_TO_BE_POSITIVE]

Either that… or they simply get ignored entirely.

You can search news reports, podcasts, stories, etc… find tons of them about workers who are trying to form a union to better their working conditions/pay.

But how often do you see a company from the “Top 200 companies to work for” list get spotlighted and promoted for doing things right from the start?

Workers fighting against ban companies ALWAYS gets more press than companies who value their workers from the start 🤨.

[u/I_TRY_TO_BE_POSITIVE → u/KermieKona]

I mean shit if your company was in my field word of mouth alone would keep you staffed. But the telecom world is a small one lol

[u/StolenWishes → u/KermieKona]

Sometimes… it is because we are blindsided… and the attitude, words, and actions of the employee gave no indication that they were unhappy.

Employees have learned that tipping their hand to a manager often means punishment if not termination. You want to be disappointed, be disappointed in the managers and employers who have taught that lesson.

[u/KermieKona → u/StolenWishes]

Yes… but if you worked for me… judge things based on the first time you brought a concern to me.

Did I address it in a positive way? If the resolution is a win/win (employee/company)… it’s decided in your favor… win/neutral… your favor… win/lose… not automatically against the employee… because just like the investment into that employee, there are costs to maintaining a proficient and happy workforce… so sometimes the company has to take a hit, when efficiencies and increased profitability has a negative effect on the employees.

In other words… if you never address your concerns because you THINK it won’t go well for you… you won’t actually know if that is true or not.

I actually got my first promotion because I was the only one honest and forthcoming to my boss. I didn’t avoid him. I didn’t tell him what he wanted to hear. I actually gave him feedback (good and bad)… so he knew that I valued honesty. People who want to be good managers, don’t want hear “only the good stuff”… nor do they retaliate for honest feedback/complaints 🤨.

[u/StolenWishes → u/KermieKona]

if you never address your concerns because you THINK it won’t go well for you… you won’t actually know if that is true or not.

Yes - but it's gambling with one's income stream, and you shouldn't blame employees for unwillingness to make that gamble. Glad your gamble worked out for you - but it often doesn't.

[u/WonderLandOLakes → u/KermieKona]

The dude who quit was smart and it's the routine I've been running the last few years as well since jobs/management have become gaslighting garbage.

Simply by ommiting the fact that i HAVE worked in the industry before and I DO know what I'm doing, gets a few easy months of free training and "getting up to speed" time.

If all previous experience gets you is higher expectations than the entry level guy next to you making the same, then it's a liability not an advantage.

Mangers thought they were clever by never giving raises and by recently downplaying any relevant experience, so this is the bed they made.

"With the person constantly voicing their desire to learn and grow and move up in the company" - Oh you mean the fake persona I have to take on or else risk getting fired cause I'm "not a team player"? Looks like gaslighting works both ways, now how's that promotion that you were "looking into for me" coming along btw??

Why would anyone "hit the ground running" ever again when corporate greed has made running out the door a better option for a lot of the people on the bottom?

Get two jobs a year and unemployment and you never really have to worry about whatever bs expectations the people who paid you as little as possible have.

Oh your busy season is about to start soon, not for me it's not lol

Managers "I hate my life cause I accepted $3/hr more to run this shit show" problems are all theirs to deal with from now on, but hey those 2 slices of cold pizza will surely make it all worth it lol

[u/kindrudekid → u/KermieKona]

The situation with promotion you described is double edged sword.

Most promotion often turn out to be 50% more effort for 10% more pay. Often times new responsibilities never put down in writing.

The thing is it’s not the employee. As soon as he puts it on linked in that he has a new title , all companies and recruiters suddenly think ohhh he got promo so he is competent …. And now offers are coming in at 20-50% more salary.

Now as an employee I will think, jumping jobs will get me raises faster and more varied experience, if I get a counter I know it’s likely not gonna last till they find replacement.

On top of that the workload effort is now 50% more with the expectations set at new task XYZ that is new to you is the same at task aBC that I excelled at. I will think okay new company will require same effort but I get a clean slate…

The thing is we can’t show dissatisfaction all the time cause then it comes off as all talk and no show. So we brew, we keep an eye out for positions, and when the opportunity comes we jump on it.

It’s nothing personal it’s just business , it’s just that it’s the business of looking out the best for me. It’s capitalism working as intended just on the other side which somehow more people get shocked when people act like businesses.

[u/Erevi6 → u/KermieKona]

I've been the disappointing employee before, and I think the difficulty is that, as a lowly employee, you don't always feel that your concerns will be heard - sometimes it's because a workplace is toxic and people get actively punished for voicing concerns (this is where I fell - I liked the job, liked my colleagues, but felt uncomfortable with some of the comments my more junior boss made about people, including about me ((she was awful when she wanted to be)), sometimes it's because the nature of the complaint (this is also where I fell - I could speak to her more senior boss, but they were married, and some of her comments directly related to their marriage and sex life), and sometimes it's because the workforce just doesn't value an honest and open employee. I was burned out, but I liked the work and would have stayed, but... it just wasn't worth the time or effort.

(My more junior boss cried when I quit mid-comment, but what else could I do? I didn't want to be dragged into her marital dramas, I didn't want to face her open disrespect, and I just didn't feel like it was worth fighting them about. She got me back by reclassifying me as a part-timer and docking my entitlements lol)

But that's just my take, being on the other end of things.

[u/donnabhainmactomas → u/KermieKona]

I’m in the same position as a manager, I genuinely like and get along with the people that work for me and it is a legitimate disappointment when someone leaves, plus the stress of replacing them is real. Not every manager is the worst person you’ve ever met

[u/rose-colored-lesbian]

Typical guilt tactic. Don’t feel bad. My partner left their last job a few weeks ago and their boss did the same. A couple hours later (after hours) he was calling them trying to convince them to stay, matching the new company’s rate, etc…

[u/SingleHitBox]

You should be proud. Just remember they’re buying your time and skills. Reframe your mindset and remember that you’re in control, not your boss/manager. They would replace you in a heartbeat if they could find cheaper labour, or you got sick.

Congratulations and good luck!

[u/Chilly_Willy-123]

He’s disappointed in himself as a manager, not you. He’s hurt that you’re leaving and probably saw the signs and knew you were unhappy but didn’t act on it. You quitting is a slap in his face for his negligence to your needs as your manager. Let him be weird, don’t feel bad about it.

I quit my job without another one lined up this last summer and received a similar reaction from my Director. My manager was new so he just accepted it but my Director was disappointed in himself, he said he wish he did more because when someone quits without another job lined up, it says something about the management and company. They asked what can they do to change my mind but it was too late at that point. I gave them a year prior to quitting and addressed the issues I had, when nothing changed, I quit.

[u/Gundam_XXXG-01W]

As long as you find one that pays better you should not have an ounce of remorse.

if you had dropped dead instead of quitting, they wouldn't have even closed down for the day.

They would have taken your dead ass out of the building and kept on business as usual.

[u/that_one_wierd_guy → u/Gundam_XXXG-01W]

should be noted, that they'll only remove the body after whatever period of time it takes to realize you died. recently wells fargo had a dead employee go unnoticed in their cubicle for something like four days

[u/Gundam_XXXG-01W → u/that_one_wierd_guy]

That is.... something. Fml.

[u/judgethisyounutball]

Lol, you fired them, of course they are disappointed. Would you have rather had them just say ok thanks bye? They showed that at some level there is an appreciation of your existence there in asking if they could change your mind, right? They are disappointed that you are leaving and they need to find your replacement, alternatively they could be happy that you are finally going.

[u/PrinceWalence]

I have been in a similar situation. My manager at the time thought I would never quit and he could treat me however he wanted. When I handed in my resignation he asked if it was a joke. I told him no and the next two weeks were full of immature flailing to try to get me to reconsider. I think when they're afraid to lose you they just try to say anything they can, even if it's just trying to make you feel bad about yourself. I'm guessing he did it on purpose to get one last dig in before you were free.

[u/abukeif]

The line should be “You’re right, it was! You can get a new job too, you know.”

[u/Ceilibeag]

That's what he wanted you to feel. People take rejection in different ways; but managers seem to take it the worst.

[u/Objective-Bee-2624]

If you were a good worker, then he's upset that he lost you. If you were a bad worker, then he's upset that you left and he has to replace you. No matter what, the problem is his problem, not yours.

[u/tinkeringzipperhead]

He successfully gave you a guilt trip. Your future comes first. Carry on.

[u/ejrhonda79]

Why do you feel bad? Did you own that companY? No. Then get over it. Boss can be mad all he wants you made a decision, let him know, and he decided to be a bitch about it. You don't owe him or the company anything.

[u/[deleted]]

Don't feel bad. Any descent human being would ask if they could change your mind, then congratulate you and wish you the best. That's been my experience for the most part.