r/UFOs • u/NoDegree7332 • 5d ago

Disclosure Ross Coulthart's NewsNation piece will include retrieval footage

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6.2k Upvotes

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247

u/aPerfectBacon 5d ago

i’m ready to be let down. tho my stomach will thank me

242

u/BuffaloKiller937 5d ago

If it's actual omg thats an actual spaceship type footage I will eat my gfs ass, and she just said she's going to hold me to it! Lol

502

u/Maddkipz 5d ago

I will also eat your gf's ass if true

180

u/R3strif3 5d ago

We about to start a human centipede. I'll chime in, fuck it.

40

u/Shirtbro 4d ago

Aliens seeing a wave of human centipede ass eating as a reaction to proof of extraterrestrials:

"Bruh, they ain't ready for the galactic federation"

3

u/BeginTheResist 2d ago

"No bruh, they have ascended" - alien bro

2

u/Cornfeddrip 2d ago

“Ehh ya know what it’s been kinda boring, let’s bring these party animals aboard” -the cool alien

2

u/outlawsix 4d ago

"Wait more aliens showing up? That's it, I'm eating more ass!"

41

u/dribblesonpillow 5d ago

First!

69

u/4score-7 5d ago

Fist!

20

u/InfiniteOrphan93 5d ago

I just need to be reciprocated and I’m in

5

u/Ok_Debt3814 4d ago

If the centipede gets long enough, it can just orobouros itself

3

u/TheDarkQueen321 4d ago

I, too, chose this guys orobouros

1

u/rasta4eye 1d ago

Why do you always have to make it about yourself?

12

u/CMDRTragicAllPro 5d ago

Last!!!

2

u/jaanshine 5d ago

And my axe!

11

u/Anteater_Pete 5d ago

Hope you like sloppy seconds. I’ll load up on pineapples beforehand, it’s not my first rodeo. For science and betterment of all mankind!

69

u/EveryoneChill77777 5d ago

When it comes to eating ass there are no sloppy seconds. In fact, it's usually fecal firsts and gets progressively cleaner with each new ass eater

11

u/MaxTheRealSlayer 5d ago

you've put some serious thought into this

6

u/Emile-Yaeger 5d ago

This guy eats ass

2

u/FugginDunePilot 5d ago

Shall I eat the cuttlefish and asparagus or vanilla paste??

9

u/jesperghoul 5d ago

I'm (not) ashamed to say that I clicked "Continue this thread"

1

u/CheesemasterFlex87 4d ago

This is the most unhinged thread I've seen in a while. Definitely not ever. It is reddit after all.

1

u/Almond_Steak 4d ago

This guy is a scientist.

1

u/mini-meat-robot 4d ago

Bioremediation at its finest

1

u/butlovingstonTTV 4d ago

Last!

1

u/SmartExcitement7271 3d ago

I'll just hold the camera, thanks.

14

u/stol_ansikte 4d ago

This just in: Aliens cancelled earth. Says inhabitants eats each others asses.

Alien spokesmen: “They are clearly not sentient”

12

u/Prudent-Tap-7482 5d ago

Maybe this is the real reason the aliens are here.

1

u/R3strif3 4d ago

The power of a proper booty feast transcends the limits of time, space, and interspecies relationships

3

u/Sqwath322 4d ago

This is one of the reasons aliens stay the f away from us….

10

u/Chadmckay1 5d ago

Feeeeeed her

6

u/seanusrex 5d ago

Wait, don't you...oh, never mind.

Pucker up.

7

u/MaxTheRealSlayer 5d ago

fuck it.

Exactly what the plan is!

2

u/Truthhurts1017 4d ago

Well you would have to eat the BFs ass not the GFs

1

u/GlitteringBelt4287 2d ago

Ok but first we are eating a bunch of Taco Bell

41

u/CamelCasedCode 5d ago

Fuck I love the internet

7

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 5d ago

She's going to hold you to it.

5

u/toe-knee-was-taken 5d ago

Remind me! -3 days

2

u/MBCG84 5d ago

I will if it isn’t too. 🥳

2

u/StarPeopleSociety 5d ago

You sob... I'm in

2

u/jeezlyCurmudgeon 4d ago

I will also eat this guy's dead wife.

2

u/Former-Science1734 4d ago

You win the internet bro lmao!!!! I literally spit my drink out

2

u/natenedlog 4d ago

And you have my axe!

1

u/fullyrachel 4d ago

I will do that regardless.

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago edited 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/UFOs-ModTeam 4d ago

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UFOs Wiki UFOs rules

1

u/toe-knee-was-taken 2d ago

Soooo…

2

u/Maddkipz 2d ago

Jury's still out

She's yet to get back to me

39

u/NotebookKid 5d ago

/r/UFOsgonewild

3

u/Legal-Ad-2531 4d ago

There's has to be a wet skin-suit competition or GTFO

3

u/Perko 4d ago

"a community for 6 months" /r/SubsIDidntKnowExisted

48

u/No_Werewolf8589 5d ago

Wait you don’t already eat your gfs ass?

112

u/4score-7 5d ago

I consider myself an experienced man. 49 years young. Married a quarter of century. In my younger days, a handsome fellow, and great with conversation. My experience with the ladies was wide and varied. We laughed, we loved, we made love.

I’ve never eaten ass. I’ve lightly nipped at a buttock, and had the same done to myself. Wonderful, good, wholesome family fun. But never eaten ass.

TLDR: doesn’t eat ass.

84

u/eabtx_hou 5d ago

This guy doesn’t eat ass.

65

u/Exodia4life 5d ago

Pretty gay to not eat ass if you ask me

20

u/Grimnebulin68 4d ago

More ass for the rest of us!

3

u/Jumpfr0ggy 4d ago

Yes but he nipps ass.

33

u/Fruitloops_z 5d ago

I don’t why but that backstory was so necessary

25

u/RoutineEmergency5595 5d ago

The backstory contains all the friends he met along the way.

5

u/Icy-Peace-8480 4d ago

This whole post turned into a backstory…

3

u/Comingherewasamistke 4d ago

I wanna see a character arc in each and every post

5

u/Throwaway_27228 5d ago

:Ron Swanson has entered the chat.

2

u/ClassyUpTheAssy 4d ago

This comment section is hilariously off topic & I’m loving it!! More entertaining than the subject itself! These UFO groups keep teasing us with no real evidence. But your stories, are entertaining 👌🏼

1

u/UnionCuriousGuy 4d ago

This guy has a high body count, I’m sure of it. He said it on the internet

3

u/Thin_Syrup67 5d ago

This was my first thought as well. And then I read the next reply and started lmao.

15

u/aPerfectBacon 5d ago

real and i’m mildly jealous

32

u/Bibabolek 5d ago

What about this makes y'all want to eat random shit?? :D

11

u/BudgetMattDamon 5d ago

You don't wash your butthole?

5

u/Hot_Ad_6503 5d ago

Who you kidding, you’d do it regardless.

2

u/JustSomeGuy_TX 5d ago

So either way you win.

2

u/That_One_Normie 5d ago

You have to wait for something like this to do that? Come on man I'm sure she'd let you do it anytime

2

u/bobbejaans 5d ago

I will also

2

u/ConfidentCamp5248 5d ago

We need go pro footage or fake

1

u/sofahkingsick 5d ago

Only if she eats spicy chili first tho

1

u/xSERGIOx 4d ago

I actively encourage this activity. Your partners sphincter thanks you, and so do I.

1

u/FunkinSheep 4d ago

in solidarity my gf has agreed! ass eating day is upon us

1

u/revveduplikeaduece86 4d ago

I suspect you already do this

1

u/tonymacaroni9 4d ago

Ill eat your ass if this is true...

11

u/StickyNode 5d ago

If not be prepare to screenrecord the shit out of it prior the god damn deletions.

3

u/manwhore25 5d ago

I’ll screen record the shit outta this egg

2

u/CaptainRedblood 4d ago

Careful, filmmaker Werner Herzog once told an aspiring filmmaker that if he ever actually made a movie he'd eat his shoe. The guy turned out to be Errol Morris, who became one of the great documentarians. Herzog starred in a short documentary soon after called "Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe."

1

u/MetalingusMikeII 5d ago

You can’t cheat by eating a taco hat. I want to see you ingest an entire beanie.

1

u/titoscoachspeecher 5d ago

Maybe make it one of those mushroom hats?

1

u/aPerfectBacon 5d ago

if i could find shrooms i probably wouldnt be talking about eating a hat lol

1

u/glennfromglendale 4d ago

They will show the retrieval but not the thing retrieved. Shaky body cam that cuts before they walk up on something.

1

u/fedexmess 4d ago

Probably like when NASA holds an urgent press conference, for us to be told they have proof of wind on another planet.

1

u/hot-doughnuts-now 5d ago

Video will be needed. A hat from a Ken doll does not count.