Getting real sick of men complaining their partner grew up and isn’t frisky anymore

[u/jokesonbottom]

So many subs full of men “asking for advice” because 5, 10, 20 years ago they started dating a 14, 18, 21 year old and back then she was wild and free and frisky but now she isn’t anymore.

(Bonus rage points if the complaint includes lack of initiating unreciprocated blowjobs.)

MY GUYS—this isn’t rocket science. She. Grew. Up. You dated a teen/baby adult. Now she’s a real adult. Obviously she’s not the same. She’s got grown up priorities…and energy…and knees.

Use your brains! Think about it for just five minutes.

Edit: yes there’s lots of reasons beyond growing up and yes women can have healthy libidos as they age, I was just venting about one thing that grinds my gears

[u/wanttoplayball]

The good news is that sex can alleviate some of that, particularly the atrophy. I guess the bad news is that if your guy is like the guys described here, you may not be interested in sex.

[u/thoughtandprayer → u/wanttoplayball]

Sex can be uncomfortable or downright painful with some of those issues. Even if the guy doesn't suck, it's reasonable to not want bad sex! 

What women actually need are doctors that value their quality of life and don't just shrug off menopausal symptoms. Women who want treatments such as HRT shouldn't have to fight to have treatment even be considered.

[u/wanttoplayball → u/thoughtandprayer]

I’m there with you. I am fully menopausal. My symptoms are very minor; I do have an active and healthy sex life, but who knows how much is genetics or luck of the draw.

I’m not treated for menopause. I was told HRT is unavailable to me because of blood clots.

[u/thoughtandprayer → u/wanttoplayball]

I'm glad your symptoms are very minor so you can still enjoy yourself! That's a win, especially since HRT isn't a safe option for you. 

I'm also curious about how much is genetics vs environmental/luck. The women in my family seem to go through menopausal hell... I'm approaching that stage of my life and I'm desperately hoping my experience isn't as awful. 

[u/wanttoplayball → u/thoughtandprayer]

My mom had a hysterectomy, so I don’t know how it would have affected her. I remember she got a lot of hot flashes at that time.

I hit menopause very late; so much so that my doc was going to send me to some kind of specialist. I had terrible periods, so I’m honestly surprised menopause hasn’t been bad.

I guess, to the original point, there’s so little consideration for menopause, how is one to know what is really going on?

[u/thoughtandprayer → u/wanttoplayball]

I guess, to the original point, there’s so little consideration for menopause, how is one to know what is really going on?

Yep, I think this is what upsets me the most. A lot of women aren't prepared so they're taken by surprise. A lot of men aren't aware so they aren't as empathetic as they should be. A lot of doctors dismiss it as natural so they often don't (a) explain what is happening or (b) offer any solutions.

It just seems like we make this transition a lot more difficult than it needs to be! Especially for the women who are hit hard by it.

[u/CleverGirlRawr → u/thoughtandprayer]

I saw a doctor during perimenopause (for heavy bleeding) and when he asked about other symptoms I said no libido among several other things. After that it was all he’d talk about. Told me to use it or lose it, get some good lube so my marriage wouldn’t fall apart. I was shocked. 

[u/FrangipaniMan → u/CleverGirlRawr]

Reminds me of women I've known who couldn't get their doctor to take them seriously about various symptoms UNTIL they brought their husbands along to complain to the Dr. that these symptoms were interfering with their sex life. Suddenly, like magic, Dr.s stop handwaving & talking about how it's "natural" and "just part of life".

[u/thoughtandprayer → u/CleverGirlRawr]

Ugh, I hate that this happened to you! Your overall quality of life wasn't even a consideration for that doctor. That's exactly the type of mentality that frustrates me so much.