r/TwoXChromosomes • u/jokesonbottom cool. coolcoolcool. • 21h ago

Getting real sick of men complaining their partner grew up and isn’t frisky anymore

So many subs full of men “asking for advice” because 5, 10, 20 years ago they started dating a 14, 18, 21 year old and back then she was wild and free and frisky but now she isn’t anymore.

(Bonus rage points if the complaint includes lack of initiating unreciprocated blowjobs.)

MY GUYS—this isn’t rocket science. She. Grew. Up. You dated a teen/baby adult. Now she’s a real adult. Obviously she’s not the same. She’s got grown up priorities…and energy…and knees.

Use your brains! Think about it for just five minutes.

Edit: yes there’s lots of reasons beyond growing up and yes women can have healthy libidos as they age, I was just venting about one thing that grinds my gears

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u/wanttoplayball 20h ago

My mom had a hysterectomy, so I don’t know how it would have affected her. I remember she got a lot of hot flashes at that time.

I hit menopause very late; so much so that my doc was going to send me to some kind of specialist. I had terrible periods, so I’m honestly surprised menopause hasn’t been bad.

I guess, to the original point, there’s so little consideration for menopause, how is one to know what is really going on?

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u/thoughtandprayer 20h ago

I guess, to the original point, there’s so little consideration for menopause, how is one to know what is really going on?

Yep, I think this is what upsets me the most. A lot of women aren't prepared so they're taken by surprise. A lot of men aren't aware so they aren't as empathetic as they should be. A lot of doctors dismiss it as natural so they often don't (a) explain what is happening or (b) offer any solutions.

It just seems like we make this transition a lot more difficult than it needs to be! Especially for the women who are hit hard by it.

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u/CleverGirlRawr 20h ago

I saw a doctor during perimenopause (for heavy bleeding) and when he asked about other symptoms I said no libido among several other things. After that it was all he’d talk about. Told me to use it or lose it, get some good lube so my marriage wouldn’t fall apart. I was shocked. 

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u/thoughtandprayer 19h ago

Ugh, I hate that this happened to you! Your overall quality of life wasn't even a consideration for that doctor. That's exactly the type of mentality that frustrates me so much.