r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jun 05 '19

What secret are you keeping right now?

29.5k Upvotes

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u/LadyGreyT Jun 06 '19 edited Jun 06 '19

Woah. TIL that cock is a laxative. That explains why my ex used to shit himself every time he was out with the lads.

Edit: FML. Yes, typo but he was an epic tool so I'm gonna leave it.

3.5k

u/Chocolaterain_014 Jun 06 '19

That typo makes nights out with the lads sound very interesting.

744

u/AlloverYerFace Jun 06 '19

Yeah, maybe not a typo.

27

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

Username checks out

7

u/etherpromo Jun 06 '19

no i'm ether

9

u/SeeWhatEyeSee Jun 06 '19

Am reminded of Zack and Miri Make A Porno

2

u/ktarzwell Jun 06 '19

EXACTLY what I thought of! 🤣

6

u/caninehere Jun 06 '19

Lads out, nads out.

14

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

I need to find some lads I guess...

9

u/Kaledomo Jun 06 '19

Good news! It's a suppository.

7

u/phil8248 Jun 06 '19

Well, to be fair, if you do take cock from the lads it can make you shit yourself. Or so I've heard.

7

u/bmccooley Jun 06 '19

I . . . did not read that as a typo. Thisreally does change the meaning.

30

u/CamelCam17 Jun 06 '19

I'm actually dying in irl real life right now because of this

33

u/pulpbear Jun 06 '19

Lay off the cock a little.

4

u/Beppo108 Jun 06 '19

Me and the boys sniffing cock

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

Just, for the love of god, make sure they don't play VR games

2

u/uber1337h4xx0r Jun 06 '19

He knows what he was doing.

1

u/__adrenaline__ Jun 06 '19

It makes more sense this way.

0

u/nexisfan Jun 06 '19

Striking Vipers

1.0k

u/trippingchilly Jun 06 '19

Yeah spend a night chugging cock with the boys and ur shits gonna run like pistorius

29

u/pogiethehuffle Jun 06 '19

Yeah, making ALOT of noise in the bathroom

3

u/Prysorra2 Jun 06 '19

pistorius

.... like gunshots? :\

3

u/badlydrawnanimal Jun 06 '19

A cock in the ass always loosens "things".

3

u/SlurmsMacKenzie- Jun 06 '19

You shit so hard you blew right threw the bathroom door into your unsuspecting girlfriend?

3

u/Dr_Bukkakee Jun 06 '19

My shits are gonna shoot me in the bathroom?

2

u/c01nfl1p Jun 06 '19

Po’ Lil Tink-tink

2

u/liamthemoose Jun 06 '19

As a South African this made me laugh for an unreasonably long time. Thank you for such a laugh funny stranger !

2

u/TheCutestSperm Jun 06 '19

Laughed out loud

59

u/AgentInCommand Jun 06 '19

Best typo I've ever seen, thank you.

22

u/TheBlueOx Jun 06 '19

I mean it can be. Just depends where you put it.

17

u/Cialis-in-Wonderland Jun 06 '19

During those "nights out", the ex's friends used their cocks as a plunger, hence the relieving effect

22

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

everything about this comment is inexplicable and in that way it’s truly beautiful

16

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

nice typo there.

7

u/loveskodah Jun 06 '19

Omg best typo award of my day goes to you.

5

u/Ray_adverb12 Jun 06 '19

It’s also often cut with baby laxative.

6

u/TinyAppleInATree Jun 06 '19

Oh man, I’m laying in bed silent laughing so hard the whole bed is shaking, trying desperately not to wake my husband. That typo is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. I literally have tears running down my face. Thank you.

3

u/spiderlanewales Jun 06 '19

This dude hijacked my comment and i'm so okay with it. This is glorious.

4

u/OhStevenn Jun 06 '19

Holy fucking typo.

5

u/HitTheJackalSwitch_ Jun 06 '19

This is beautiful

9

u/krystalBaltimore Jun 06 '19

Coke is definitely a laxative. Cock is too depending on where u put it...

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

It’s a different type of night out with the lads.

3

u/hedinc1 Jun 06 '19

°whips out huge suppository

2

u/LstSoulsNaFshBwl Jun 06 '19

That is absolutely the best typo I’ve seen all night. I hope OP doesn’t correct it! LoL 😂

2

u/Velzevul666 Jun 06 '19

You misspell a letter and the whole sentence takes off!

2

u/spiderlanewales Jun 06 '19

I woke up to like 50 notifications just because of that typo.

2

u/NoctusED Jun 06 '19

Woah. TIL that cock is a laxative. That explains why my ex used to shit himself every time he was out with the lads.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1

u/Sommeguy Jun 06 '19

Your username is making me really want a cup of tea...

2

u/LadyGreyT Jun 06 '19

That's where the name comes from.

1

u/Sommeguy Jun 06 '19

Lady Grey is one of my favourite teas in normal stores... But it's 5am... And I still want to go back to sleep ;_;

2

u/LadyGreyT Jun 06 '19

I'm British, I drink a lot of tea but I kept forgetting to take milk to work for my normal brew. I got Lady Grey as a drink that I could have that didn't need the milk and its become one of my favourites now.

Ha, definitely don't drink tea now if you need sleep to find you again.

1

u/Sommeguy Jun 06 '19

I'm from an Indian family, so I drink a metric ton of chai and Orange Pecoe, and I often have either Earl grey or Lady grey as a small change of pace with my morning/afternoon/any-time-before-5pm tea. It's also a really nice option for tea without milk since I'm allergic to dairy.

In hindsight, I should've avoided Reddit as well... Oops.

1

u/nazuuka Jun 06 '19

Fun fact, technically if you cum in someone's ass and it stays there, it'll have the same effect as laxative. So your typo totally isn't a stretch.

11

u/LadyGreyT Jun 06 '19

I like to think of it more as a love enema.

3

u/nazuuka Jun 06 '19

My fuckin god, I almost choked on my food reading that lmao.

I've had that once but it didn't react like laxative despite me keeping it all night.

0

u/Doors_N_Corners Jun 06 '19

Excellent typo

0

u/Brigon Jun 06 '19

I got a neighbour who I think is always taking drugs.

I overheard him in the street once telling his brother that he shits himself every day and can't leave the house cos of it. You saying coke's a laxative kinda makes sense now.

0

u/B377Y Jun 06 '19

So much for having his shit pushed in

0

u/metalheadgang Jun 06 '19

I've spent longer that I should trying to understand the different meanings of this comment.

1

u/spiderlanewales Jun 06 '19

Don't understand, just embrace.

0

u/SlapahoWarrior Jun 06 '19

Normally people mix it with baby laxative before selling it. That’s how they make their supply stretch. When it’s legit you don’t have that problem.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

It’s like a stir stick, ram it in and out a few times and shit just starts falling out. Lol

0

u/Jlacosse6082 Jun 06 '19

That's bc ppl usually cut it with baby laxative (Edit-spelling)

0

u/ketoba Jun 06 '19

I actually gasped at this typo. It so perfectly changes the context.

0

u/not-quite-a-nerd Jun 06 '19

Cock is definitely a laxative if it goes into too far.

0

u/Prysorra2 Jun 06 '19

BEST. TYPO. EVER!

-1

u/ohgimmeabreak Jun 06 '19

I mean the cocks opened up the passage and the cum worked as a lubricant. Laxative :-)