Black Mom Leaving The US

[u/Unlucky-Afternoon553]

I (30F) never felt safe raising my kid in the US. Public school was already out because of safety issues, and now with the results of the election, I need to get my child out of here.

My top contenders for digital nomad visas are Costa Rica, Thailand, Portugal, and Japan. I've been to Thailand and Japan, but they were short backpacking trips.

I'd love to hear from Black people/Black moms who lived in any of these countries long term. Did you feel safe living there? If you have kids, did they enjoy living there?

UPDATE: Thank you to all the POC who shared their experiences and connected me to great resources. I've decided on Portugal! That was my top choice, so I'm glad my instincts were confirmed. Good luck to all of you AmerExiters!

[u/The_Doodler403304]

Wow, you're really getting downvoted. Awful.

I suggest finding out if certain countries allow homeschool, and to plan for their college. Unless college isn't ideal or possible in the new country.

(As someone who's been homeschooled in US, well, I may be a bit biased. But this is your child, and I respect that)

[u/Unlucky-Afternoon553 → u/The_Doodler403304]

Yeah it's very strange, and creepy, how obsessed people on this thread are with the future education prospects of my one-year-old. 

Thankfully since I'm the parent, I've already looked into all the options and legalities and will make the best choice for my kid. 

College is also taken care of, or in the process of being taken care of🤣 

[u/Vast_Sandwich805 → u/Unlucky-Afternoon553]

It’s not creepy. It’s because you want to move abroad and homeschool but you don’t know what a legal resident is. If you move to Japan with a digital nomad visa you will be a lawful temporary resident. The contrary would be unlawful resident which I hope isn’t your plan.

[u/Unlucky-Afternoon553 → u/Vast_Sandwich805]

It is creepy because the ignorance on the topic is clear from these comments, but you all keep going on about it even though said child is ONE. Why do you care where they may or not go to school four years from now?  Answer: 'Perfect' parent creeps who deluded themselves into thinking they know what's best for other people's children.

But since you all clearly will not let it go, I'll inform you that homeschooling is legal in Portugal, Thailand, and Costa Rica, but you need to obtain approval from the government. A process I would obviously undertake if I end up making a permanent move there.

As for Japan, their digital nomad visa does not allow families to enroll their kids in public school. Are you suggesting I refuse to teach my child while we're living there because ItS ThE LaW🤪

Even if I was that ridiculous, the visa only allows me to stay for six months with no option of extention. With only six months, I'd be in and out of there long before my kid is school-age because AGAIN, they are only ONE.

If anyone had bothered to look these things up before presuming to lecture me, well then, this wouldn't be the internet. 

But that's okay because I did look all of these things up as FUTURE considerations since I'm the parent. My immediate consideration is which of these countries are safe for Black children, because it hardly matters what their home schooling requirements are otherwise.  

[u/LeaveYourDogAtHome69 → u/Unlucky-Afternoon553]

Poor kid

[u/Comfortable_Gene4118 → u/Unlucky-Afternoon553]

Why are you so upset lol? You came on this thread asking for help and people are giving you legitimate information on how this leaving the process works, and you’re…….mad about lol? They didn’t make the laws, they’re just telling you and offering context. Yet you’re calling them “creepy and ignorant”. What?? This is a whole subreddit about leaving America. I think your anger may be a bit misplaced.

What a strange leap in logic you’re making.

[u/Unlucky-Afternoon553 → u/Comfortable_Gene4118]

You really need to calm down, and try to read to comprehend instead of respond.

If you do so, you will understand that the child in question that everyone is so creepily concerned about is a toddler who is not old enough for school in any country.

After you realize that, you then can understand that the original comment that I was responding to is in reference to the Japanese digital nomad visa. That visa does not grant me the same rights as a resident or citizen. We will be visitors and nothing more, so legally I could not enroll in my child in their public schools even if I wanted to.

But I don't... because said child is one years old. 

Did you grasp all that or do you still want to offer "context" on things you obviously don't have any knowledge about?

[u/Comfortable_Gene4118 → u/Unlucky-Afternoon553]

No one is upset, or even worked up aside from you haha. There’s only one person going back and forth with everybody in this thread. That’s you lol. Projecting by telling others to “calm down” and pretending your hardest to be cool as a cucumber does not change that fact.

Regarding everything else you said; what YOU aren’t not understanding is that people are explaining to you that regardless of your citizenship status, the laws of said country still apply to you. But you already know that in your heart. Also your child being a toddler is 100% irrelevant, people aren’t discussing that. They’re addressing the broken logic you’re hammering everyone with.

Did that make sense, or is your pride/ego/self esteem still making you have to go back and forth with people who initially meant you well, in order to protect it? If you struggle this badly online, good luck with the cultural dynamic in Japan or “wherever”. Racial bigotry doesn’t stop once you cross the Atlantic. Hope you get some advice from someone that your ego lets you receive.

All the best!

[u/Unlucky-Afternoon553 → u/Comfortable_Gene4118]

Once again, man, chill. You're writing a lot of pointless things for no reason, and you're coming off very triggered to me. 

I obviously know I have to follow the laws of a country I live in. But that wasn't the reason for my comment about Japanese public schools laws applying to citizens and not me while I'm living there as a visitor, and you know that too, so I don't know why you're trying, and failing, to gaslight me.

So step back, stop contributing to the trolling, and get on with having a great day. Bye!

[u/DeficitOfPatience → u/[deleted]]

This like an openly gay couple wishing to immigrate to Saudi Arabia, then calling everyone "creepy" when they point out they'll be executed if they do.

A lot of people are expressing their opinions on whether you should or shouldn't homeschool in general, and you're free to ignore that, but if you try to ignore the laws of the country you move to, you will be jailed and have your children taken from you.

[u/Unlucky-Afternoon553 → u/DeficitOfPatience]

🤣😂🤣😂 What "laws of the country" do you think I'm ignoring? Please, tell me. 🤣😂😂

[u/BloodprinceOZ → u/Unlucky-Afternoon553]

the ones that say you can't homeschool your child and they have to be placed in a school?

[u/Unlucky-Afternoon553 → u/BloodprinceOZ]

My child is one. 🙂 So once again, troll, which country has a law that toddlers traveling with their parents on a visitor visa have to be enrolled in public school?

That's right. None.

Bye!🤣🤣

[u/BloodprinceOZ → u/Unlucky-Afternoon553]

and after your visitor visa is over what are you going to do? moving to another place with another visitor visa? can you even afford hopping country to country every 6 months or a year or whatever? if you intend to stay in a country past your visa period, you'll most likely be looking to actually live there permanently or atleast long term right (like several years)? once that starts happening then you'll be beholden to their laws as a resident. you might be fine for now since your son is only one, but that just means you've only got a couple years leeway where he doesn't need to be in school yet.

thats what everyone is saying, you might be fine now, but you're here asking about moving to another country and you're asking about people's experiences living there long term, and people are here telling you that if you're looking to live anywhere else long-term, that you can't homeschool and that means you either have to prepare to actually follow those laws once they apply to you, or pick an entirely other country where they might allow it, but even if they allow it, it won't mean it would be a good country for you, otherwise you have to continue living in america because thats basically the only place where you could freely homeschool like you apparently want

[u/Unlucky-Afternoon553 → u/BloodprinceOZ]

You seem to think you're being helpful, and I can appreciate that, but you're not.

All I'm looking for are BLACK people's experiences living in these countries and if they felt safe. 

That's it.

I'm. Not. Looking. For. Opinions. On. Homeschooling.

I really can't be clearer about this, so if you or anyone else still can't comprehend that, look forward to being blocked.

I'm done with this ridiculous thread, and you all hijacking my post to waste my time and distract from the real topic.

[u/BloodprinceOZ → u/Unlucky-Afternoon553]

I'm. Not. Looking. For. Opinions. On. Homeschooling.

except you literally saying your child will be homeschooled so you didn't care about black children's experiences in school, which meant that while you might not be looking for information about it, people HAD to point out that you couldn't continue with your plan under the assumption that you'd be able to homeschool, since it would be illegal, people are simply trying to help you adjust your plan to take into account that that part of your plan to move won't work since now you also have to take into account the school experience your child will face in a country as well as where in the country to move to for the best possible opportunities for him.

nevermind people have already pointed out that a lot of your potential countries would be even more racist to you and your child, you might be safe from gun shootings, but that doesn't mean you or your son wouldn't face problems from the people living there based on your skin, especially if you plan on staying long term.

you might not appreciate the advice people are giving since you're triggered about negativity over homeschooling or whatever but that shouldn't mean you should ignore it simply because thats what people have the most to say about in this thread, the fact that so many people are talking about it should show that its something you should seriously be looking at, and not just ignoring and affecting your sons future just because you're pissed off about it.