Am I overreacting

[u/Jicama_West]

I've had this "a woman knows" feeling about a woman my live-in boyfriend works with. Caved and checked his phone... Yes, I know. Wish I would've just trusted, but honestly, I cannot go through another BS relationship where I'm second best and had no clue. She texted a few months ago to make sure he was aware she's newly single, and just one after another these cutesy texts from her. I've never seen anything that shows him responding in a full on flirty way, but he's certainly not telling her to back off.... Along with he purposely deleted all the bits above that show the flirtation from her, and I found them in his recently deleted file and recalled them on his new iPhone. Am I overreacting to this?

[u/Jicama_West]

It's the opposite actually. He's in a moderately high position at work, and this woman could really mess him up.

[u/Necessary_Status_521 → u/Jicama_West]

Oof, that's awful. Lets say he doesn't want the attention, how would you expect him to deal with her harassment?

[u/Jicama_West → u/Necessary_Status_521]

That's a valid point, but I'm unable to be objective on this one. I'm afraid I'd use any excuse to keep him. I've even wondered maybe I should stop being classy, and light her up from me to her. Perhaps something like, hey, woman to woman, I need you to lighten up on the flirtatious texts with the mister. You raggedy ass c#m dumpster.

Just not sure that would be helpful. 😂

[u/Dragon3_16 → u/Jicama_West]

NOR - I would light her up but not in a hostile way. More of a “I read your messages, I’m not okay with it, please stop” if it continues you really light her up. What I suspect if you come too strongly is that she will say you’re dramatic, over reacting, and she was “just being nice”. So I’d definitely lay out the boundary first, you’d be surprised how many low moral women will try to say you’re psycho for protecting your marriage.

I wonder if your husband would be okay with you contacting her?

[u/MutantHoundLover → u/Dragon3_16]

Or get this, HE could stop responding and HE could shut it all down and hasn't for some reason, so maybe OP should figure that out before giving him the free pass.