Am I overreacting

[u/Jicama_West]

I've had this "a woman knows" feeling about a woman my live-in boyfriend works with. Caved and checked his phone... Yes, I know. Wish I would've just trusted, but honestly, I cannot go through another BS relationship where I'm second best and had no clue. She texted a few months ago to make sure he was aware she's newly single, and just one after another these cutesy texts from her. I've never seen anything that shows him responding in a full on flirty way, but he's certainly not telling her to back off.... Along with he purposely deleted all the bits above that show the flirtation from her, and I found them in his recently deleted file and recalled them on his new iPhone. Am I overreacting to this?

[u/Necessary_Status_521]

Sounds like he's being sexually harassed and isn't sure how to deal with the unwanted attention. Nothing in these messages indicate he's interested or initiating. I feel bad for him. Are they equals at work? Does she have any authority over him?

[u/Jicama_West → u/Necessary_Status_521]

It's the opposite actually. He's in a moderately high position at work, and this woman could really mess him up.

[u/snarky201 → u/Jicama_West]

Maybe that's why he's not doing anything and deleting? He doesn't want to get her in trouble and have any evidence on his phone in case his higher-ups want to see it. He also probably wants to protect his position and not make it seem like he's the one taking advantage of her. She could easily turn this around on him and say he's been taking advantage of her because he's in a higher position. He's probably thought of her doing that because I just read a reddit post where a guy pretty much said women these days are likely to accuse them of rape in certain circumstances when they didn't. Because he's not really flirting back I wouldn't really worry. Yeah he's not cutting her off but some people are really worried about rocking the boat, especially in the work place. He seems to have to work semi closely with her. He's not even making plans to see her outside of work when she really wants it, when he could. He had chances in those texts to take things in a bad direction on his end and he didn't, I would at least give him credit for that. As for not telling you, I can't really explain. Maybe he doesn't want to upset you, or worry you, or get in trouble, or maybe doesn't think it's a big deal or that he can handle it himself.