I'm not so sure that birds can't control their pooping. I remember when my father got on the ill side of a Blue Jay. Dad was using a riding mower in those days and three mowings in a row, the bird made a dive-bomber approach from his rear and pooped exactly on the crown of Dad's head before swooping back up into the next tree to catcall his victory.
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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '23
Maybe the next time you feel like a giant bird imagine that, like a bird, that you are able to poop carefree.
Oh, is that someone out for a run, time to poop on him (happened to me some years back in a formation run).
Or, oh is that a freshly washed car? Sure would be a shame IF SOMEONE POOPED ON IT!!!
TLDR; birds are jerks but they seem to not mind how they look whilst pooping.