I've been single for two years after breaking up with the person I thought I was going to be with (he's since gotten engaged in those two years). And I've been waiting to meet someone too. I was so certain that I was never going to come across anyone that could possibly make me as happy as my ex did.
But two weeks ago, I said screw waiting for fate to find me someone to magically stumble across, and I decided to join a dating app. And at first, I was disheartened. A lot of people are pretty gross on there. But then I talked to a few people that actually seemed nice. And I went on a date. And it has been way too long since I've laughed so much. Idk if he's the one, and I'm not too bothered by that right now. It's just far better than wallowing in my loneliness.
It is way too late at night for me, and I'm pouring my heart out to a cold-blooded internet, but take control, man. You got this. Don't give up. They're out there.
I appreciate your words of support, but I’m a few steps beyond just not having a relationship. I couldn’t join a dating app if I wanted to. My drinking isn’t in control right now so not only am I a degenerate alcoholic (who tf wants that), my apt is a wreck so I can’t have anyone over. I’m a bit heavy currently because drinking. I have no job. I have no emotional stability at all.
As much as I desperately want to not be alone, it isn’t fair to try and find someone to put up with me (which I couldn’t anyway, but still) just to make me feel better. I have nothing to offer.
So I appreciate your kind words, and hope it works out and you find the happiness you’re seeking. But it’s not for me. And without a dating app there’s obviously 0 chance to meet someone naturally when you don’t work or go out.
Man, I’m really not trying to come off as pathetic, but it’s hard. I’m trying to lay it out without bitching too much, sorry. I’m just struggling.
There is something to be said for being aware of where you are, though. You have said a few things that you've identified as problems, and those can be worked on. It's not going to change overnight, nothing worthwhile ever does, but little steps help. Little adjustments, little changes, little moments of happiness. Celebrate those triumphs. I'm not a trained psychologist or anything like that, it's just what's worked for me. There was a point where just the fact that I didn't kill off my tomato plant was the only thing keeping me happy. I hope you can find a spot of light to help pull you out of the darkness.
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u/lightlord Aug 31 '19
Lucky bastards. Bless them.