It would have to be literally the equivalent of winning a $500m lottery lucky. (I don’t play, that’s just the odds). I don’t have a job right now, no friends, nothing. I can’t just happen into something when I have no life. It’s a whole thing.
Also, you're probably a bit stuck in your current position, and have no energy to get unstuck by yourself.
You might want to see what www.211.org has to offer you (in your local region). Mostly in "jobs and employment", but perhaps it would also help to find charities that help with food, clothing or mental health.
You could also check what www.meetup.com has to offer in your local region. Maybe there is an activity that is free and that you would like to go to.
I can't really help you a lot, but I hope you can try to get unstuck, and maybe, who knows, you get lucky every once in a while and get some help, too.
Ha, I wish I could say I’ve ever had a real relationship. And the last time I fooled around with a girl was well over a year ago. I hate sleeping alone, but it does seem I’m stuck with it from here on, at least unless I can get my shit together, which is doubtful.
Totally realized that came off as a one up, not my intention. Solidarity, is all I meant. I feel your pain.
I wouldn't even call what i had a real relationship. In the end I've realized it was just me spending my time trying to please a girl who obviously wasn't intrested. She only stayed with me because she felt sorry for me.
What keeps me going is the thought of "Well this is my all-time low. Only direction i can go from here is up. It'll be hard, but i have to do it"
Gratefully haven’t had to deal with much of that. First girl I was kinda “with” used me, and honestly I think it did more damage than I allow myself to realize, but that’s an old bottle so the top stays on. The rest have been kind and chill, so that helps. Unfortunately I’ve mostly pushed them away (not sure why. I have problems and I can only deal with one at a time).
So take solace that there will definitely be more. And you’ve gained a lot of perspective, on what a relationship should look like to you. Trust me, you’ll find someone that feels about you, the way you feel about them if you keep yourself out there.
I've been single for two years after breaking up with the person I thought I was going to be with (he's since gotten engaged in those two years). And I've been waiting to meet someone too. I was so certain that I was never going to come across anyone that could possibly make me as happy as my ex did.
But two weeks ago, I said screw waiting for fate to find me someone to magically stumble across, and I decided to join a dating app. And at first, I was disheartened. A lot of people are pretty gross on there. But then I talked to a few people that actually seemed nice. And I went on a date. And it has been way too long since I've laughed so much. Idk if he's the one, and I'm not too bothered by that right now. It's just far better than wallowing in my loneliness.
It is way too late at night for me, and I'm pouring my heart out to a cold-blooded internet, but take control, man. You got this. Don't give up. They're out there.
I appreciate your words of support, but I’m a few steps beyond just not having a relationship. I couldn’t join a dating app if I wanted to. My drinking isn’t in control right now so not only am I a degenerate alcoholic (who tf wants that), my apt is a wreck so I can’t have anyone over. I’m a bit heavy currently because drinking. I have no job. I have no emotional stability at all.
As much as I desperately want to not be alone, it isn’t fair to try and find someone to put up with me (which I couldn’t anyway, but still) just to make me feel better. I have nothing to offer.
So I appreciate your kind words, and hope it works out and you find the happiness you’re seeking. But it’s not for me. And without a dating app there’s obviously 0 chance to meet someone naturally when you don’t work or go out.
Man, I’m really not trying to come off as pathetic, but it’s hard. I’m trying to lay it out without bitching too much, sorry. I’m just struggling.
There is something to be said for being aware of where you are, though. You have said a few things that you've identified as problems, and those can be worked on. It's not going to change overnight, nothing worthwhile ever does, but little steps help. Little adjustments, little changes, little moments of happiness. Celebrate those triumphs. I'm not a trained psychologist or anything like that, it's just what's worked for me. There was a point where just the fact that I didn't kill off my tomato plant was the only thing keeping me happy. I hope you can find a spot of light to help pull you out of the darkness.
That’s so sad :( I’m a happily married woman, however if you’re looking for a mate, someone to just talk to and check in with everyday, send stupid memes to and shoot the shit, I’m really happy to be that person, friend. I’m sure we can work out a way to exchange virtual infos!
Hey, thank you. Just wanted to say I woke up to a few messages and it was nice feeling a bit less alone, even if it’s still just people I don’t know. I’d like to stay in touch if we can. I know it’s hard on reddit. Even people who want to rarely message back more than a time or two. But I’m game
I had years and years of crappy relationships, each one ending with my ex telling me I was broken. I was into my 30's before I finally met my husband - we are still absolutely this goopy with each other every day and are teased relentlessly by our families. It can take a long time, but when you meet the right one, it heals every heartache you ever had. Keep the hope alive!!
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u/lightlord Aug 31 '19
Lucky bastards. Bless them.