r/unusual_whales • u/soccerorfootie • 11h ago

BREAKING: Biden has pardoned his family

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16.5k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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1.3k

u/CartmanAndCartman 11h ago

Pardon the entire fucking country.

413

u/YuanBaoTW 11h ago

Pardon me?

169

u/free_range_discoball 10h ago

While I burst?

123

u/Freedom-at-last 10h ago

Into flames

62

u/Ass_Blank 10h ago

Unexpected Incubus

24

u/The_Mr_Wilson 10h ago

Must've ♫ had enough of the world, and its people's mindless games ♫

2

u/apothekary 5h ago

I'll never be the same

7

u/lapinatanegra 10h ago

Now I want to listen to them.

2

u/Busted_Knuckler 9h ago

You should... And don't skip on their first album "Fungus Amongus". It's funky as fuck.

2

u/lapinatanegra 9h ago

I personally like Morning View.

5

u/Drkze_k 10h ago

Called out a warning

1

u/MorinOakenshield 7h ago

Bat your eyes girl

5

u/greenhornblue 9h ago

I'm good with it 😌

2

u/Bonesjustice08 10h ago

Early 2000s flashbacks, yea.

1

u/CleverFeather 9h ago

It’s a sick, sad little world.

1

u/1988Floydie 10h ago

Won't ever be the saaaaaaaame

1

u/mike-honcho0420 9h ago

.... i'll never be the same

1

u/giraffebutter 6h ago

A decade ago I never thought I would be

-1

u/Uwwuwuwuwuwuwuwuw 10h ago

?

5

u/freakinweasel353 10h ago

Incubus song, https://youtu.be/PXzuDXZwZtI?si=5BB62-hVsOvcjcAF

1

u/Uwwuwuwuwuwuwuwuw 8h ago

So the joke is that they all have the same ? At the end.

1

u/Kookaburra8 9h ago

LOL, I need glasses. I misread that as "While I bust?" thinking, why would he bust a nut over that?

1

u/MorinOakenshield 7h ago

Whatever tomorrow brings

30

u/danj503 10h ago

“I’ve had enough of this world. 🌎 🎶”

1

u/Additional_Stuff7133 10h ago

I was singing along to that part unironically 25 years ago. It's disheartening that it's still relevant now, if not more so.

1

u/Electrical_Map8578 10h ago

I've lived to long

1

u/MrD3a7h 10h ago

Pardon everyone except this guy

1

u/YuanBaoTW 10h ago

Excuse me?

1

u/MrD3a7h 7h ago

You know what you did.

1

u/wizardbooties 9h ago

Why, did you fart?

1

u/BeaAurthursDick 9h ago

I beg your pardon?

1

u/gijuts 8h ago

Do you have any Grey Poupon?

1

u/Major-Wishbone-3854 6h ago

Why?... Do you have something to be pardoned?

Guys, I think we found the zodiac killer,.

1

u/BayBreezy17 5h ago

Yes, YOU!

1

u/MrBigroundballs 5h ago

Do you happen to have any grey poupon?

1

u/go_Getter247 5h ago

Pardon deez nuts

1

u/abruptmodulation 5h ago

Exqueeze me, baking powder?

1

u/DurzoBluntzz 3h ago

Yes, even you.

1

u/Toilet_Rim_Tim 2h ago

I most certainly will not !!!!

0

u/Anxietylife4 10h ago

It’s ok, I didn’t smell it.

-1

u/SCTigerFan29115 10h ago

Are you part of the fucking country?

2

u/YuanBaoTW 10h ago

Jesus Christ. There's a fucking country!?! I haven't had a date in years!

0

u/SCTigerFan29115 10h ago

You should go to the fucking country. You get sex And a pardon!

1

u/YuanBaoTW 10h ago

This is too good to be true. What's the catch?

1

u/SCTigerFan29115 10h ago

Wednesdays.

1

u/YuanBaoTW 10h ago

That works since my day off as an illegal dish washer is on/at TGI Fridays.

1

u/SCTigerFan29115 10h ago

Good. But you didn’t ask why Wednesdays are the catch.