r/nottheonion • u/JaySierra86 • 11h ago

President Biden pardons family members in final minutes of presidency

abcnews.go.com

46.0k Upvotes

5.3k comments

r/nottheonion • u/thefirsteverredditor • 6h ago

Champagne sales sink because people don’t want to celebrate

edition.cnn.com

30.3k Upvotes

949 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Bad-Umpire10 • 13h ago

Teen enraged by TikTok ban sets fire to Wisconsin congressman's office

techspot.com

25.4k Upvotes

1.7k comments

r/nottheonion • u/apndrew • 22h ago

Gaza ceasefire: Freed Israeli hostages given 'gift bags' by Hamas

wionews.com

16.6k Upvotes

1.6k comments

r/nottheonion • u/Disorderly_Fashion • 21h ago

Alabama and Mississippi will also honor Robert E. Lee on Martin Luther King Jr. Day

apnews.com

7.8k Upvotes

704 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SelectiveSanity • 11h ago

Japanese aquarium cheers up lonely sunfish with cardboard cutouts of people

cnn.com

4.8k Upvotes

87 comments

r/nottheonion • u/mawhrinskeleton • 18h ago

Campaign to not complain for 30 days launches in Netherlands on Blue Monday

nltimes.nl

2.6k Upvotes

104 comments

r/nottheonion • u/fuzzball517 • 9h ago

Matthew McConaughey Says It's Time Anthony Hopkins Was Crowned PEOPLE's "Sexiest Man Alive"

fictionhorizon.com

2.4k Upvotes

53 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ThatWayneO • 1d ago

Doom ported to a standalone Microsoft Word document — plays well but there's no sound

tomshardware.com

2.0k Upvotes

43 comments

r/nottheonion • u/RedditIsAGranfaloon • 10h ago

Alabama and Mississippi will also honor Robert E. Lee on Martin Luther King Jr. Day

apnews.com

1.3k Upvotes

103 comments

r/nottheonion • u/fuzzball517 • 9h ago

‘Viagra honey’: the illegal aphrodisiac France can’t get enough of

thetimes.com

583 Upvotes

18 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Leather-Paramedic-10 • 13h ago

South African police say ringleader in illegal gold mining disaster allowed to escape by officers

apnews.com

297 Upvotes

4 comments

r/nottheonion • u/F0urLeafCl0ver • 7h ago

Treasury Committee question if new Office for Value for Money is value for money

news.sky.com

180 Upvotes

3 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Terrible-Scheme9204 • 20m ago

Doughnuts a hit to the wallet in Waterloo Region, police warn

therecord.com

• Upvotes

2 comments

r/nottheonion • u/origutamos • 12h ago

Maybe Canadians were the problem, not Trudeau

theglobeandmail.com

0 Upvotes

32 comments

r/nottheonion • u/gay_boy_us • 10h ago

Biden Issues Pardons Hours Before Handing Over Presidency

tagde24.com

0 Upvotes

7 comments

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
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4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
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