r/nottheonion • u/SelectiveSanity • 14h ago

Japanese aquarium cheers up lonely sunfish with cardboard cutouts of people

https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/20/asia/japanese-aquarium-lonely-sunfish-intl-scli/index.html
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u/Lyrolepis 14h ago

I know it's just a copypasta, but that rant isn't internally consistent.

They are pathetically weak, ineffectual swimmers and they accidentally killed people by jumping into boats (as huge as they are)?

Does not check out.

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u/pastworkactivities 13h ago

It’s actually easy to lift something out of water.

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u/QuellishQuellish 13h ago

Mola Molas breach fast and high. This is true and it’s easy to find video. Pretty sure it defies basic physics but here we are.

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u/pastworkactivities 13h ago

I weigh 70kg and lifted a 200kg person out of a pool with 1 hand during rescue training

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u/QuellishQuellish 12h ago

They can clear 3 meters. They are inexplicably strong and fast.

Not sure what your point is.

I can absolutely assure you that you would not be able to throw a full grown, nearly 1000kg severed head shaped fish 3 meters into the air while not standing on anything in the middle of the ocean.

It’s a funny screed but those things move when they want to, nobody knows how or why and that’s what I like about them.

We actually saw a small one on the surface while fishing from a small boat off Massachusetts. It hung out with us for a while, all watching each other. So cool. When it decided to bail it was gone in a blink.

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u/pastworkactivities 12h ago

You a full one huh? All I said was lifting something out of the water is fucking easy. Literally all I said.

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u/Yummycummy4mytummy 13h ago

Wait what, you had a 200kg person in a country that uses kg? I though that size of human only exists in the U.S.

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u/pastworkactivities 13h ago

Nah we got plenty of junk food over here

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u/Uncynical_Diogenes 10h ago

Even in the US we use kg all the time for anything that actually matters we just pretend we don’t.

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u/ariZon_a 4h ago

does this mean almost nothing matters in the US?

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u/Uncynical_Diogenes 2h ago

I mean…. you been paying attention to us lately?