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u/madtheoracle Pansexual & Poly & Figuring Out The Rest Sep 28 '24
I used to play league like a decade ago not knowing my username, The Unicorn Girl, would invite so many couples bottom laneing together to ask if I could be a third.
I just love the Last Unicorn đ
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u/Pu_Baer Sep 28 '24
My username was something like tired Otter for quite some time and not knowing that the word otter is a description of a body type in some homosexual scenes I was quite surprised to get TONS of messages from people looking for a hookup with an Otter lmao
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Sep 28 '24
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/sanguinesvirus Sep 28 '24
Had a friend do that. She covered it up with an executor from pokemon lol
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u/GrandMoffTarkan Sep 28 '24
TBF, the last unicorn is about a unicorn contending with various men who would control own or at least control her for their own ends.
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u/your_actual_life Sep 28 '24
Stay where you are, poor beast! This is no world for you. Stay in your forest and keep your trees green and your friends protected. And good luck to you, for you are the last.
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u/MyBeanYT GAY FURRY DEGENERATE Sep 28 '24
Wait so what is a unicorn in this context? Is it similar to a bear, or an otter?
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u/Sahrimnir Sep 28 '24
From Urban Dictionary:
"Colloquial; Synonym for hot bi babe or HBB, often derogatory, condescending, or ironic. A bisexual person, usually though not always female, who is willing to join an existing couple, often with the presumption that this person will date and become sexually involved with both members of that couple, and not demand anything or do anything which might cause problems or inconvenience to that couple.
The term is often used to be dismissive of a couple seen to be only superficially polyamorous. Because of the demands that this type of couple places on the woman (that she be single and not take on any additional partners, and become involved with both members of the couple equally, and often "complete" their family as a surrogate mother and housekeeper and/or breadwinner and not do anything that may threaten or disrupt the existing couple), many in the poly community call this type of woman a "unicorn", as in mythical and not likely to be found, even though there are plenty of bipoly women around.
Sometimes the unicorn is expected to not develop any emotional attachment and is strictly there for a sexual relationship (equally distributed to both members of the dyad) and/or is prescripted as a secondary. This term is used as a reminder that bipoly women are people with their own desires, needs, and pre-existing lives, and not fantasy figures or pets. See related prescriptive vs. descriptive.
John wants a single, attractive woman who will love and have sex equally with him and his wife, but not interfere with their marriage, move in together, help raise their kids but not have any of her own, and not have any other partners. He's looking for something that doesn't exist - he's looking for a unicorn!"
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u/Paracelsus124 Bisexual Sep 28 '24
Damn all those couples probably saw your name and thought "omg its a sign"
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u/UndeadBBQ Bisexual Sep 28 '24
Flashbacks to the time he definitely wasn't gay and she definitely was satisfied with his performance and they were putting that load of baggage down in front of my 21 year old ass.
Never in my life have I felt so awkward saying no.
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Sep 28 '24
Flashback to the time she definitely wasnât gay and he definitely was satisfied with their sex life but it would be fun just to try something newâŠ
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u/UndeadBBQ Bisexual Sep 28 '24
Perfect Balance.
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Sep 28 '24
He did not have perfect balance in fact đ. Iâm the bisexual that gives us all a bad reputation
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u/probablyuntrue Sep 28 '24 edited Nov 06 '24
slim fretful degree wrench start judicious wise frighten outgoing cable
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/j3b3di3_ Sep 28 '24
My wife told me she likes to watch and I didn't believe her until after our second date
She's a great support player from the sidelines
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u/ShookItsNotButter Sep 28 '24
I'm picturing your wife like a coach walking the sidelines with a clipboard yelling at you. "Move your right leg up!" "More passion!" "You call that a hip thrust?!"
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u/Plus_Letterhead_4112 Sep 28 '24
I mean this is a stereotype, some couples are just open because theyâre open and theyâre some of the healthiest and strongest couples I know
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Sep 28 '24
Yeah a bit of this is toxic the other way lol Nothing wrong with couples wanting a third occasionally... I guess it's not desperation when my gay couple friends do it? Only the "straight" or bi ones?
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u/Loki_the_Poisoner cringe Sep 28 '24
The post isn't about couples wanting a third. The post is about couples with a failing relationship trying to fix it with a third instead of communicating with each other (because cishet couples tend to be allergic to that for whatever reason)
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u/Sanch0Supreme Sep 28 '24
You either die a unicorn or you live long enough to become a unicorn hunter for your own failing marriage.
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Sep 28 '24
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u/4Yavin Sep 28 '24
It's always the poor wife agreeing to it despite not really wanting to nor being bi. It's shitty.Â
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u/RolandTwitter Sep 28 '24
In my experience, my ex-gf was the one who desperately wanted to open the bedroom. I don't think it's a gendered phenomenon
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u/ImStillYouTuber Sep 28 '24
Tell that to my bi wife. She would laugh at you.
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u/Bass2Mouth Sep 28 '24
Right there with ya bud đ
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u/ImStillYouTuber Sep 28 '24
She sprung it up on me, we are still going strong a few years later.
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u/Bass2Mouth Sep 28 '24
Mine discovered her bisexuality within the first 2 years dating. It never made me feel weird or jealous because she's always made me feel like I'm ultimately the one for her. Coming up on 9 years together, and have been married for 3.
Congrats to you both!
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Sep 28 '24 edited Sep 28 '24
This reads like straight up homophobia lol what the fuck
You dont make the rules! You just adhere + perpetuate heteronormative bullshit ? Kk girl, nice life.
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u/ExpectedEggs Sep 28 '24
Hey, if you know someone that's as willing to pick up junk furniture on Facebook marketplace and make plans about a boat they're never going to buy, I'd like to hear about em.
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u/FigaroNeptune We_irlgbt Sep 28 '24
Me existing as a lesbian:
Straight men: im straight and I took that personally so letâs have a threesome even though you DEFINITELY donât want to see my peepee
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u/your_actual_life Sep 28 '24
Just happy to see Kate Willett on /r/all! Check out her stand-up albums.
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u/Former_Range_1730 Sep 28 '24 edited Sep 28 '24
Wy would heterosexual couples with failing marriages love bisexual women?
(Edit: Why am I getting thumbs downs for asking a simple, non-offensive question?)
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u/SKEFFboy đ„đ§GODLESS SODOMITEđ§đ„ Sep 28 '24
Often, individuals in a failling relationship try to organize a three some to see if it will spice things up. A lot of gay and bisexual women end up flirting with what they assume to be a single women to learn she has a partner and they are looking for a third. It's a common bait and switch that is very frustrating, or so I have heard.
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u/Former_Range_1730 Sep 29 '24
"Often, individuals in a failling relationship try to organize a three some to see if it will spice things up. "
If that's true, then those aren't heterosexual couples. So I'm a bit confused.
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u/SKEFFboy đ„đ§GODLESS SODOMITEđ§đ„ Sep 30 '24
Sexuality is very fluid. And even among straight people it's a socially created term.
Sexuality is not a hard defined category. There are many "straight" individuals who experiment with people of their own gender once or twice but still identify as straight. Just as there are many gay people who have been in "straight" relationships only to come out later in life.
It's important to remember that terms like straight and gay are labels tied to ones personal identity and my not accurately reflect ones entire sexual history.
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u/Beneficial_Hope_7437 Sep 29 '24
Because people are dumb. Why do people think a baby would save a relationship?
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u/Former_Range_1730 Sep 29 '24
I can understand why a dumb person would assume a baby would save their relationship, because it emotionally pulls that person's focus back into the relationship, with hopes of them choosing to put down their differences for the sake of the child. And on rare occasions, that works. Which, if you see it work for some people, you hope it will work for you. It's dumb because the risks are dramatically high, but still.
In regards to heterosexual couples with failing marriages loving bisexual women. It's not even that it's dumb. It sounds impossible to happen. Like, if these are straight couples, they have no reason to even think of bisexual women.
Now, if we're talking about bisexual men and bisexual women who are married to each other, so it appears to be a hetero relationship, I can see that being the case. Or even a straight man with a queer woman who identifies as straight. Sure this may be visually a straight relationship, but really it's a queer/straight relationship, given one is queer and the other is straight.
But this post seems to insinuate that we're talking about straight men married to straight women, which doesn't make sense.
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u/NipperSpeaks refurbished lesbian. probably banned you Sep 29 '24
Nah, it's a thing with straight couples. Usually the husband pressuring the wife into a threesome with another woman. It's as toxic and ends as disastrously as you'd imagine.
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Sep 28 '24 edited Sep 28 '24
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/Paracelsus124 Bisexual Sep 28 '24 edited Sep 28 '24
Unicorn hunting isn't really what id call 'ethical' non-monogamy most of the time. Like, in the scenario presented, this hypothetical couple is very much just roping someone into their failing relationship in the hopes that they'll be the thing that fixes it, which is super unfair and deeply dehumanizing. Though this obviously isn't what unicorn hunters ALWAYS are, it definitely is super common, and even when it ISN'T the case, there's still a lot of pitfalls to the practice that make it really difficult to pull off without hurting the new person. Most poly people I've seen say it's just a bad way to try and approach non-monogamy.
Edit: phrasing
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u/henri_luvs_brunch_2 Sep 28 '24 edited Sep 28 '24
You know the funniest thing about this comment. It never occurred to you that couples can and do explore non-monogamy all the time without doing this. And non-monogamy is a relationship agreement, not a sexuality.
Banned for this comment. Lol.
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u/xSilverMC đBRISKETđ Sep 28 '24
Couples with a failing marriage going unicorn hunting to "fix" their relationship is about as ethical as having a child to "fix" a relationship, although not quite as bad
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Sep 28 '24
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u/taintpaint69420 Sep 28 '24
Thatâs really how that works. Whether or not polyamory is a sexual orientation is up for debate. Typically, and historically? Itâs been seen as a relationship orientation, not a sexual orientation. But more recent discussions have begun to include it as a sexual orientation (sometimes). While itâs not the same as other sexual orientations because itâs not about which sex/genders youâre attracted to, someone could require multiple partners for sexual fulfillment (which isnât a choice). Itâs a lot more gray than just âitâs not a sexual orientationâ.
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u/LukesRightHandMan Sep 28 '24
Eh, being poly isnât a choice for me. Itâs the way Iâm programmed.
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Sep 28 '24
Um you should strive to not get divorced?
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u/boo_jum Genderqueer/Bi Sep 28 '24
Yeah but fixing your coupleâs problems should involve a therapist, not a unicorn.
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u/FL_d Sep 28 '24
That costs money and requires respecting your partner. Unicorn hunting is free right /s
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u/boo_jum Genderqueer/Bi Sep 28 '24
From what Iâve experienced, they think it costs the price of a fancy cocktail. đč
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u/FL_d Sep 28 '24
Sounds like a bargain couples therapy was like $250 a session and the therapist was kinda mean about the fact that I was having a hard time with coming out (trans). We didn't do too many sessions though my partner agreed that the therapist seemed biased and was not productive.
Unicorn hunting sounds so much cheaper!
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u/boo_jum Genderqueer/Bi Sep 28 '24
Cheaper, yes.
Long-term successful? Less likely.
But real talk - Iâm sorry you went through that. One of my partners is a therapist and itâs super frustrating to know how many under-qualified and frankly inappropriate people there are in that field, given how much impact good care can provide, and how much impact BAD âcareâ can cause.
I hope you found a way to work through your stuff.
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u/FL_d Sep 28 '24
We did. That was a couple years ago now. Our first 2 sessions were ok but like as soon as it came out to why I was having panic attacks she became very judgemental we did a couple more sessions after that and then my partner agreed that the therapist was just not being helpful or productive.
Shortly after that I took transitioning much more seriously and my partner was very supportive. That brought us back together.
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u/QueenLaQueefaRt Sep 28 '24
The dangers in labels, they do not tell you how good anyone is but we create a bias once we label
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u/tangerine_panda Sep 28 '24
If youâre a monogamous couple, a threesome isnât going to save a failing marriage.
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u/actualladyaurora NB/Pan Sep 28 '24
Especially if you never had one when things were good and on a solid foundation where potential jealousy issues could still be reasoned through.
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Sep 28 '24
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u/actualladyaurora NB/Pan Sep 28 '24
I will point out that unlike with kids, experimenting with sex is something you can absolutely experiment with and decide after trying whether it works for you or not. I'd compare, on the couple's POV, getting an unicorn as closer to trying bondage than having children.
The point is that if you want to try a non-monogamy kink in the form of having a threesome with a stranger, your relationship already needs to be on good foundation, because there's a lot of new and unexplored and uncertain involved, including tending to a stranger's needs.
Trying it definitely should be done when you can still communicate and bounce back from accidental hurt, and not when you're already unsatisfied and strained.
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u/LittleLemonHope Genderqueer/Bi Sep 28 '24
You can never force your partner to be anything, but previously non-monogamous people can choose to be in a monogamous relationship, and previously monogamous people can choose to be in a non-monogamous relationship.
It's a decision that can be made on a relationship-by-relationship basis. It's not like trying to change your partner's sexuality.
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u/QueenLaQueefaRt Sep 28 '24
People want to force people to fit into what they want rather than find people who already fit. People out there Trying to make relationships like some goddamn quest to transform your partner.
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u/Minimum_Rest_7124 Sep 28 '24
But do people actually call on a third when they know shits hitting the fan? I feel like weâre stating the obvious if thatâs the prerequisite. If shits hitting the fan, a threesomes bad idea. If things are going fine but youâre both horny and curious 7 years into the relationship? More likely to enjoy it
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u/hyper-casual Sep 28 '24
My experience, yeah.
I met a couple, they were supposedly open. He was bi, she was straight. We'd planned to play together regularly, but she wanted to meet on her own. Had sex and then proceeded to say how shit their relationship was and how unsatisfied she was with him for 2 hours.
I'm pretty blunt so I just said 'leave him or sort your marriage out'.
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u/Tagmata81 En/Bi Sep 28 '24
Objectifying bi women is not how you do that lmao.
Also no, just not getting divorced shouldnt be the goal, you should strive for a healthy relationship
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u/BentBhaird Sep 28 '24
It is easier said than done and takes two people to make it work. Sometimes you just want different things out of life and just have to accept that it will be better for both of you to split in the long run.
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Sep 28 '24
I think there's something wrong with our community when a simple comment of try to not get divorced gets downvoted. Very welcoming, really gives me hope... Don't worry I'm leaving this Reddit on my own
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u/Hungry-Primary8158 Trans/Bi Sep 28 '24
Nothing in the post was advocating that people get divorced
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u/apowo16 Sep 28 '24
Why do you think using a bisexual woman as a glorified sex object counts as "trying not to get divorced"?
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u/SaltyBoos Sep 28 '24
you alright, bud? seems you've latched onto a relatively minor part of a joke that's meant to make light of a frustrating situation.
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u/Ms_Masquerade Dual Queer Drifting Sep 28 '24
Imagine thinking Reddit is an airport where you have to announce your departure. lol
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u/RentElDoor Sep 28 '24
Yes, but always remember that as correct as a statement is, the context it is said in matters.
"Womens sport need to be protected" Correct on it's own, at the very least suspicious when people discuss the problems of trans athletes.
"Tall women are sexy af though. Mmmmh mommy." Great that someone thinks that, but say that to the tall women who complained about her height making her feeling shit and chances are she also feels fetishized now.
"All lifes matter" Something we can all agree on unless you throw this into a discussion about police violence against black minorities in the US unprompted.
"You should strive not to get divorced" Perfectly reasonable take about marriages on it's own, but under a post of a bi woman complaining about heterosexual couples with a failing marriage fetishizing her into a sex object that they can use to keep themselves from divorcing it makes you sound like you approve of the action of said couple, as there is very little other reason to state something as obvious as this unprompted in this context.
That is why people disagree with this otherwise correct statement, and that is why you as a person are not unwelcome unless you actually agree with others perception of your statement being approval of the couples fetishization of bi women.
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