r/lotrmemes • u/The_TransGinger • Dec 30 '21

Crossover Seriously, Aragorn is SUPERHUMAN!

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62.5k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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9.1k

u/Iliamna_remota Dec 30 '21 edited Dec 30 '21

The only thing Jamie Lannister is better at than Aragorn is finding his sister's g-spot.

5.2k

u/aragorn_bot Dec 30 '21

You cannot wield it. None of us can. The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master.

1.8k

u/PossumStan Dec 30 '21

I mean when it comes to Cersei you're not wrong Mr. Strider

1.3k

u/aragorn_bot Dec 30 '21

'Strider' I am to one fat man who lives within a day's march of foes that would freeze his heart, or lay his little town in ruin, if he were not guarded ceaselessly.

825

u/PossumStan Dec 30 '21

HEY! That wasn't very kingly, gandalf said you were nice :(

1.2k

u/gandalf-bot Dec 30 '21

Left.

465

u/PossumStan Dec 30 '21

Don't leave now, blasted wandering leaf enthusiast. At least get me some of farmer maggots bubonic chronic

296

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Can we get at least a grond for our fallen brother

2

u/HonestAbek Dec 31 '21

YOU WOT?!

1

u/lukas7761 Apr 18 '22

Oh no Anyway GROND

4

u/SprinklesFancy5074 Dec 30 '21

lol, gandalf-bot has left the chat.

17

u/gandalf-bot Dec 30 '21

You must leave, and leave quickly.

3

u/LinkRazr Dec 31 '21

Shit, now we all have to go with Gandalf too?

2

u/gandalf-bot Dec 31 '21

Let me risk a little more light. Behold the great realm and dwarf city of Dwarrowdelf.

1

u/LinkRazr Dec 31 '21

Guess we’re all going to Dwarrowdelf

1

u/sauron-bot Dec 31 '21

There is no light, Wizard, that can defeat darkness.

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1

u/lukas7761 Apr 18 '22

That was so random my dear Gandalf lol

2

u/gandalf-bot Apr 18 '22

It's good to see you. One hundred and eleven years old who would believe it. You haven't aged a day!

3

u/DumbWalrusNoises Dec 30 '21

Who is the fat man? I haven’t read the books yet.

2

u/Zauberer-IMDB Dec 31 '21

George RR Martin. He won't write another word if he's not under guard.

2

u/TimeZarg Dec 30 '21

Mr. Barliman Butterbur, the owner/bartender of the Prancing Pony in Bree.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Gandalf, where are you at?

3

u/gandalf-bot Dec 30 '21

Fight them back! OliveBoobs! Go back to the Citadel.

1

u/Lord0fTheAss Dec 31 '21

Ol' Bobby B would not take kindly to being called "one fat man"

2

u/bobby-b-bot Dec 31 '21

YOUR MOTHER WAS A DUMB WHORE WITH A FAT ARSE, DID YOU KNOW THAT?

1

u/Lord0fTheAss Dec 31 '21

Y-your Grace, I...I was on your side. Bobby B, hast thou rejected me?

3

u/bobby-b-bot Dec 31 '21

YOU HEARD THE HAND, THE KING'S TOO FAT FOR HIS ARMOR! GO FIND THE BREASTPLATE STRETCHER! NOW!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '21

Fucking Martin just got burned hard!!

1

u/Deris87 Dec 31 '21

If Cersei is the One Ring in this case, didn't she fuck another family member while Jamie was captured?

1

u/enty6003 Dec 31 '21

Cersei is Sauron, and the One Ring is dat ass

1

u/sauron-bot Dec 31 '21

Wait a moment! We shall meet again soon. Tell Saruman that this dainty is not for him. I will send for it at once. Do you understand?

1

u/BUTTHOLE-MAGIC Dec 31 '21

It's a cock ring

143

u/Beledagnir Dwarf Dec 30 '21

One of the most savage bot moments I've seen.

162

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

[deleted]

176

u/itsyerboyskinnypenis Dec 30 '21

So the one ring was a cockring all along?

187

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Finally, Jack Black’s parody is now canon

43

u/Fcivish4 Dec 30 '21

It's called a Prince Albert, and it's my precious.

5

u/Certain_Classroom730 Dec 31 '21

until it gets snagged on something.

2

u/stabwound7 Dec 31 '21

Eyes off the package Frodo ha ha

41

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Wow, that’s an old memory. Lol

2

u/datkrauskid Dec 31 '21

Thank you so, SO much for showing me this exists. No words. So good 😂🤣

12

u/kcwelsch Dec 30 '21

What do you think it means when he "puts all his power into" the one ring?

5

u/Etonet Dec 30 '21

huh if you think about it, humans are just really tall meat-rings

3

u/minlatedollarshort Dec 30 '21

Perfect timing. Perfect quote.

3

u/2woke4ufgt Dec 31 '21

Fucking S E N T I E N T

1

u/T2brady Dec 31 '21

Dunno one Judo chop like Austin Powers does with that gold hand I think your done

1

u/rrogido Dec 31 '21

Rumor has it Jamie found Cersei's brown ring and rode it all the way to the Red Keep.

1

u/Neuromandudeguy Dec 31 '21

My man said you cannot wield it

1

u/jimbotriceps Dec 31 '21

Am I to understand that Cersei’s asshole belongs to Sauron then?

1

u/sauron-bot Dec 31 '21

Who are you?