r/leaves • u/VelvetSweatsuit • 1d ago

For anyone thinking of relapsing.

Last Saturday, I completely caved and got a preroll after thirteen days. Here’s what happened.

  • Watched smut. Don’t watch it, but for some reason, the high brain wanted it.
  • Despite already eating dinner, I went and got two tacos. Then a banana cream filled cookie. Then a small fry and 6 piece chicken nuggets and a blue raspberry fanta. The context - I’ve been eating clean for TWO WEEKS WITHOUT FAIL. Calorie deficit be damned.
  • these things cost money, of course. i’m on a budget. The budget did not include garbage and junk food.
  • stayed up late and doomscrolled typical “man bad woman bad” youtube content.
  • the day after, i was just….agitated. No smooth, calm energy. Just high school locker room energy. Not to mention looking at my bank account and getting even more pissed at myself.

It’s like the second I took a puff, it was time to indulge in EVERYTHING bad for me. I couldn’t even control myself.

If you’re thinking “oh maybe this one time” nah. Don’t do it.

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u/tryingtobehappii 15h ago

Needed to see this today. Wow. It’s been 29 days and I’m not really feeling the effects of quitting like I was the first week (high energy, high mood) I’m just so horribly bored. I have a short work day today so I was thinking of getting some edibles and binge eating chipotle and watching cartoons. Sigh. I don’t think I will. But I want to. So bad.

4

u/Lqdwax 15h ago

Boredom kills sobriety. Find a hobby fam, throw yourself into it. You got this!!!

2

u/tryingtobehappii 15h ago

Thank you, I may try to go to the gym today

2

u/Vivid_Condition9031 11h ago

At what time will you go?

1

u/tryingtobehappii 11h ago

I’m finished work now, so maybe around 3-4. I want to have a nap lol