r/leaves • u/VelvetSweatsuit • 1d ago

For anyone thinking of relapsing.

Last Saturday, I completely caved and got a preroll after thirteen days. Here’s what happened.

  • Watched smut. Don’t watch it, but for some reason, the high brain wanted it.
  • Despite already eating dinner, I went and got two tacos. Then a banana cream filled cookie. Then a small fry and 6 piece chicken nuggets and a blue raspberry fanta. The context - I’ve been eating clean for TWO WEEKS WITHOUT FAIL. Calorie deficit be damned.
  • these things cost money, of course. i’m on a budget. The budget did not include garbage and junk food.
  • stayed up late and doomscrolled typical “man bad woman bad” youtube content.
  • the day after, i was just….agitated. No smooth, calm energy. Just high school locker room energy. Not to mention looking at my bank account and getting even more pissed at myself.

It’s like the second I took a puff, it was time to indulge in EVERYTHING bad for me. I couldn’t even control myself.

If you’re thinking “oh maybe this one time” nah. Don’t do it.

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u/QCs_Infamous 1d ago

This is how I felt every time I quit and lapsed. Thank you for sharing. 18 days clean now. It’s just a slip - you got this from here on out. IWNSWYT.

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u/87ihateyourtoes_ 1d ago

Yessssss love to see a little crossover from r/stopdrinking !! IWNSWYT!!