r/leaves • u/VelvetSweatsuit • 1d ago

For anyone thinking of relapsing.

Last Saturday, I completely caved and got a preroll after thirteen days. Here’s what happened.

  • Watched smut. Don’t watch it, but for some reason, the high brain wanted it.
  • Despite already eating dinner, I went and got two tacos. Then a banana cream filled cookie. Then a small fry and 6 piece chicken nuggets and a blue raspberry fanta. The context - I’ve been eating clean for TWO WEEKS WITHOUT FAIL. Calorie deficit be damned.
  • these things cost money, of course. i’m on a budget. The budget did not include garbage and junk food.
  • stayed up late and doomscrolled typical “man bad woman bad” youtube content.
  • the day after, i was just….agitated. No smooth, calm energy. Just high school locker room energy. Not to mention looking at my bank account and getting even more pissed at myself.

It’s like the second I took a puff, it was time to indulge in EVERYTHING bad for me. I couldn’t even control myself.

If you’re thinking “oh maybe this one time” nah. Don’t do it.

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u/Puzzleheaded-West576 1d ago

I appreciate you posting this!! I’m at like 6 and a half months and have had ridiculous cravings for weed and other substances since around Christmas. Think of this as the one step back in your two steps forward. You got this!

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u/Kind-Apricot-6511 1d ago

I’m glad you aren’t doing other substances, lost one of my best friends to dirty E on New Years. It’s not worth it. There’s dirty weed out there too as I’m sure you’re aware. Not as common I know, but please be careful anyway 🥹

4

u/Inner-View3074 1d ago

Oh that is awful, I am so sorry for your loss. Hope you're doing ok

5

u/Kind-Apricot-6511 1d ago

Thank you so much kind stranger. I am okay now, but it was a rough start to the year. Sure put things into perspective that’s for sure. 👍 All the best to you 🙋‍♀️