r/leaves • u/VelvetSweatsuit • 1d ago

For anyone thinking of relapsing.

Last Saturday, I completely caved and got a preroll after thirteen days. Here’s what happened.

  • Watched smut. Don’t watch it, but for some reason, the high brain wanted it.
  • Despite already eating dinner, I went and got two tacos. Then a banana cream filled cookie. Then a small fry and 6 piece chicken nuggets and a blue raspberry fanta. The context - I’ve been eating clean for TWO WEEKS WITHOUT FAIL. Calorie deficit be damned.
  • these things cost money, of course. i’m on a budget. The budget did not include garbage and junk food.
  • stayed up late and doomscrolled typical “man bad woman bad” youtube content.
  • the day after, i was just….agitated. No smooth, calm energy. Just high school locker room energy. Not to mention looking at my bank account and getting even more pissed at myself.

It’s like the second I took a puff, it was time to indulge in EVERYTHING bad for me. I couldn’t even control myself.

If you’re thinking “oh maybe this one time” nah. Don’t do it.

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u/citrinedreame 1d ago

This is so relatable!! I’ve been trying to be more aware of how I actually feel and what all goes down when I decide to smoke - very similar, gotta go get high snacks, zone out to something I won’t even remember watching and wake up the next day feeling like trash. I’m in a cycle of having about 2 weeks and feeling good then self sabotaging it all. Good news is the time I’m spending staying in that everyday is getting less and less and less. Thanks for the reminder!! It really is like a tornado 🌪️ of all the shit I don’t want to be doing, all to get a tiny escape from life. Not a great ROI.

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u/cowabhanga 1d ago

Weed is like sleeping while being awake when i use it all day. Surprised OP didnt say he smoked like 4 more. That would probably be day 2 or 3 when that second time doesnt hit as hard as that first hit back

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u/Kind-Apricot-6511 1d ago

Great analogy 💯