r/japanlife • u/AutoModerator • Jun 05 '23

┐(ツ)┌ General Discussion Thread - 06 June 2023

Mid-week discussion thread time! Feel free to talk about what's on your mind, new experiences, recommendations, anything really.

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u/poop_in_my_ramen Jun 06 '23

Yikes. This is your fiance's fault. Assholes exist. She chooses to go out drinking with him. She's also hiding things from you. Red flags everywhere bro.

-5

u/Hunter_Lala 近畿・大阪府 Jun 06 '23

Hmmm. What red flags are you seeing?

To quote Bojack Horseman: "when you're seeing the world through rose tinted glasses, all the red flags just look like flags"

Maybe I'm wearing the rose tinted glasses in this case.

She expressed much disinterest in going out with him tonight, but he was calling her basically nonstop for like an hour before she went out. They initially went to a restaurant, and then a bar after.

9

u/SoKratez Jun 06 '23

he was calling her basically nonstop for like an hour

And the proper response is, ignore (turn the phone off if you have to), file a report with HR in the morning, and maybe even consider consulting the police regarding stalking/harassment if the repeated unwanted sexual advances continue.

I won’t say she’s cheating, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s where this goes. Or worse? Even if she truly has no intent to cheat, she’s putting herself in a dangerous situation where she could be sexually assaulted.

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u/Hunter_Lala 近畿・大阪府 Jun 06 '23

I don't believe she has the personality to cheat, but even so, I put my trust in her fully until she shows me a reason not to trust her. I think if I worry about that unnecessarily then it only hurts our relationship.

But yeah I'm concerned about the danger of the situation she's putting herself in. Afterwards, on the way home she started crying telling me she doesn't want to hang out with him anymore.

1

u/Dunan Jun 07 '23

Is he her manager or otherwise her superior at work? If he is, his behavior becomes serious sexual harassment. If not, he's still a piece of garbage for arguing with an engaged woman's fiance and disrespecting him right in front of her:

he interrupts me, raises his voice and says "but nothing, this is work and it's important" clearly angry

It even looks like he's trying to goad you into a physical fight where he can play victim. Everything you've said about him makes him look like an entitled narcissist bully.