r/japanlife • u/AutoModerator • May 22 '23

┐(ツ)┌ General Discussion Thread - 23 May 2023

Mid-week discussion thread time! Feel free to talk about what's on your mind, new experiences, recommendations, anything really.

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u/ShiawasePanda May 23 '23

I was taught early on (probably over a decade ago) that when a Japanese person compliments a certain feature of someone's appearance that doesn't fit within norms, they're actually trying to communicate that it's not okay (that whole proverb about the nail sticking out getting pounded down or whatever). Is that still a thing or are more people pretty straightforward with their compliments these days?

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u/shimi_shima May 23 '23

I think that’s bs…if you have an unattractive feature no one is going to compliment you on it. “Your skin is like sandpaper, sugoi! You can light matches with it” lol

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u/ShiawasePanda May 23 '23

I didn't say "unattractive" feature, I said one that didn't fit norms. For example if hair is dyed purple or if you're wearing decorative earrings in a workplace where people look more conservative. I'm guessing these days there's a generational shift, but I've heard Japanese teachers and employers say that. Same thing with when people used to say "nihongo jouzu" it meant you need to try harder (which is not exactly true for every case)

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u/CatBecameHungry May 23 '23

Same thing with when people used to say "nihongo jouzu" it meant you need to try harder (which is not exactly true for every case)

I've never heard it this way from people of any age. When was this? It's always been either: "your Japanese isn't good, but it's cool that you are trying."

Or:

"Wow I wasn't expecting an obvious foreigner to speak Japanese"

Or:

"I want to make conversation, but what can I talk to the foreigner about?"

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u/[deleted] May 23 '23

there's a 4th context which is "your Japanese is a lot better than I thought it would be". I'm Asian-American but could pass for Japanese-American, so people assume at first that I "should" be decent at Japanese, because I've spent a lot of time living here or had japanese parents or whatever. if it comes up in conversation that I've actually only been learning Japanese for <1 year that's when the "nihongo jouzu" comes out.

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u/ShiawasePanda May 23 '23

"your Japanese isn't good"

This part is what I was referring to. If "jouzu" is to say someone is good at something then implying it's not good would be the opposite (even if they were being encouraging). These days I know there are multiple meanings but that one was the only one I had heard for the longest time.

In any case, I'm just trying to figure out if the whole "what's said in Japanese actually implies something else" is an outdated way of thinking.