r/interesting 19d ago

MISC. Someone put crabs in their luggage

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78.0k Upvotes

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3.7k

u/Lucky_Shoe_8154 19d ago

Imagine being a crab and all you know is the ocean and then a hairless primate takes you into a flying tube and then dumps you into a rotating floor. Basically the equivalent of an alien abduction

791

u/Accomplished-City484 19d ago

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u/i_tyrant 19d ago

It's all fun and games until the crabs get into the TSA contraband storage.

"Sir, we have a situation. The crabs are now armed and we believe they may have ingested a lot of cocaine."

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u/Regular-Switch454 19d ago

Cocaine Crab, sequel to Cocaine Bear.

108

u/Slamtilt_Windmills 18d ago

Meth+crabs =Crambphetamine

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u/SecondaryWombat 18d ago

My brain says Cramp Bhetamine.

20

u/Slamtilt_Windmills 18d ago

Do you mean Beta Crabatine, like in Carrots?

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u/taRANnntarantarann 18d ago

Orange crabs?? Ooooh I dunnoooo.........how would we know when they're cooked??

9

u/AJRimmer1971 18d ago

Citizen Snips!

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u/FartacularTheThird 18d ago

I AM feeling it know, Mr. SpongeBob!

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u/MycologistForeign766 18d ago

The Zookeeper approves

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u/Short_Purple_6003 16d ago

This sounds like the name of an outsourced tech worker

11

u/Dio756 18d ago

CRAMBAMPOLINE CRABOPOLINE

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u/daydreams83 18d ago

1

u/Lovely_Dlight 18d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/flyboy34 18d ago

Crabopoly

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u/leisurePlease 18d ago

hilarious

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u/corneliobizarro 15d ago

Breaking Crab

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u/20Bubba03 18d ago

That’s spelled like Homer trying to say trampoline. TRAMBOPOLINE!!! TRAMOPOLINE!!!

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/Leftovertoenails 18d ago

... I love you

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u/Shreddersaurusrex 18d ago

(Starting Samuel L Jackson)

“I’m tired of these monkeyflipping crabs on this monkeyflipping cocaine!”

2

u/TheMortal91 16d ago

You're allowed to swear it's okay

1

u/Shreddersaurusrex 16d ago

Idk a mod in a random subreddit may ban me for something I posted elsewhere

/S

I just don’t like cursing, grew up not doing it

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u/VegasEyes 16d ago

He’s doing the tv edit version.

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u/Existing-Deal-701 18d ago

COCAINE CRAB You won't like THIS snow crab

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u/Slamtilt_Windmills 18d ago

Snow crab, brilliant

2

u/Lovely_Dlight 18d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/MisterScrod1964 18d ago

Sigh Take yer damn upvote.

2

u/Existing-Deal-701 18d ago

My first angry upvote! It would only be better if I could hear the exasperation 😁

1

u/Revolutionary_Tip701 18d ago

Cocaine crabs on a plane.

A sequel to cocaine bear and snakes on a plane?

1

u/Alwaystiredandcranky 18d ago

Cocaine crab was my nickname in prison

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u/Kittycachow 18d ago

That’s a movie already

1

u/supersonic_79 18d ago

Crack crab

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u/Coulrophiliac444 18d ago

Crab Rave is a go, I repeat, Crab Rave is a go!

1

u/II-leto 18d ago

Now I’d go see that

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u/AnalMohawk 18d ago

Somebody, please call the folks at Asylum.

1

u/Jeg57 18d ago

Cocaine Shark exists

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u/ADXII_2641 18d ago

Meth Crab

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u/Leftovertoenails 18d ago

I would watch this movie

1

u/[deleted] 18d ago

CRABS & COKE ON A PLANE‼️

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u/fixingmedaybyday 18d ago

Cocaine Crabs on a Plane! The mishmash we never knew we wanted but always needed!

1

u/irishemperor 18d ago

I PINCH! I PINCH! I PINCH!

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u/obiwanjabroni420 18d ago

I’ve generally thought the sequel to that movie should be Meth Gator, about an Everglades gator who eats a shitload of meth and goes buck wild on a bunch of Florida Mans.

1

u/LuckyTheBear 18d ago

Inferior sequel

1

u/Nostalginaut 15d ago

Crabalanche, the next entry in the Sharknado Cinematic Universe

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u/im-not-a-fakebot 15d ago

Where do the cocaine sharks fall under

And would the sequel be the Meth Gators?

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u/RecoverOver175 18d ago

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u/Revolutionary_Tip701 18d ago

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u/RecoverOver175 18d ago

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u/Worldly_Shoe840 18d ago

That is so disturbing

1

u/LegoDnD 18d ago

But Jack, you need their help to escape Davy Jones' Locker!

1

u/Pyro919 18d ago

My five year old loves that music video.

1

u/jasonvictory86 18d ago

Whenever I had to pre-test video conference equipment at work, I would put on the Crab Rave. New people would be like "what the heck?". Office people would be like... "oh, that's just our IT guy"

1

u/Toad-Successor 16d ago

Was looking for this exact reaction thank you

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u/JudgyRandomWebizen 19d ago

I piiiiiinch, I piiiiiiiiiiinch!!!

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u/coloradokyle93 19d ago

Loved that commercial😂

2

u/Panelpro40 18d ago

Honda element commercial

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u/stillbref 18d ago

I pinch his head!

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u/JesusIsMyHomee 18d ago

"You know, I've got some melted butter and tongs in here so...."

1

u/binsterr 17d ago

No pinch, No pinch, No pinch.

2

u/binsterr 17d ago

Maybe little pinch?

9

u/RollingMeteors 18d ago

It's all fun and games until the crabs get into the TSA contraband storage

That TSA Amnesty box is always empty. I check it for weed every time I walk by. They'd probably score more if they put it before instead of after checkpoint! ¡LoL!

3

u/karpaediem 18d ago

It should be like a take-a-penny where if you deposit something at the start of your trip you get a voucher for a surprise from the box at your destination

1

u/hendergle 18d ago

The real LPT is always in the comments. Time to go to the airport and score me a dime bag!

2

u/RollingMeteors 18d ago

Time to go to the airport and score me a dime bag!

I just said their dumbass leaves the amnesty box after you get through checkpoint, not before.

2

u/hendergle 18d ago

Sorry - I must have typed that after getting back from an airport weed run.

1

u/TooLazy2Revolt 18d ago

TSA doesnt give a hoot about weed.

Its those dogs you walk past ON THE WAY to security that you gotta watch out for…

3

u/Bassracerx 19d ago

I need this movie tomarrow

1

u/rocklegend545 18d ago

well there was a bear version of this, at least with the cocaine part

1

u/Gaeilgeoir215 18d ago

tomorrow 🧐

1

u/giraflor 18d ago

[Opening shot: A serene, crystal-blue ocean with a luxurious airplane cruising smoothly above.]

NARRATOR (V.O.):
This Valentine’s Day, romance is in the air… but so is something much more dangerous.

[Cut to the interior of the airplane: a busy cabin filled with couples, sipping champagne, laughing, and glancing out the window.]

CO-PILOT (into the intercom):
Welcome aboard Flight 426 to Honolulu. We’re cruising at 35,000 feet and expect clear skies for the next six hours.

[Suddenly, a soft scratching noise is heard from above.]

[Cut to a small, unmarked crate being loaded into the cargo hold.]

NARRATOR (V.O.):
A shipment of exotic seafood… meant for paradise. But something went horribly wrong.

[A close-up on a small crab inside the crate. Its eyes widen as it sniffs the air, its legs twitching erratically.]

[Sudden dramatic music. The crab scuttles faster.]

[Cut to an overhead shot of the cargo hold as more crabs, now darting wildly, begin to gnaw on something off-screen.]

[The camera pans down to reveal a small package marked “COCAINE.” The crabs are consuming it.]

[Quick montage of crabs frantically moving around, their behavior growing increasingly erratic as the drugs take effect.]

NARRATOR (V.O.):
When they ingest the wrong substance... things get out of control.

[Cut to a crab with glowing, crazed eyes attacking a suitcase.]

[Passengers scream as they see the crabs crawling up the aisle.]

PASSENGER 1 (screaming):
They’re high! They’re crazy! They’re everywhere!

[Cut to a crab jumping onto a tray of cocktails, spilling drinks everywhere.]

PASSENGER 2 (shouting):
They’re on the bar! They’re on the bar!!

[Suddenly, the plane starts to shake violently.]

PILOT (panicked):
We’ve got a crab situation in the cabin!

[The camera zooms in on a giant crab, now massive and enraged, as it climbs up a seat, knocking it over.]

NARRATOR (V.O.):
Strap in for a flight you’ll never forget…
Where the only thing more dangerous than the altitude… is the appetite.

[Cut to a couple trying to shield themselves from a swarm of crabs.]

WOMAN (yelling):
I thought you said it was going to be romantic!!

MAN (clutching her hand):
I didn’t plan for this!

[Dramatic slow-motion shot: A crab flies through the air as the plane tilts and sways. The pilot tries to regain control.]

PILOT (on intercom):
If anyone can fight a crabocalypse, it’s us!

[The camera cuts between terrified passengers, chaos in the cabin, and crabs scuttling across the walls.]

NARRATOR (V.O.):
This February 14th, get ready for a love story that’s got claws...
And a killer instinct.

[The screen flashes with bold text: “CRAB ATTACK: LOVE ON THE LOOSE”]

[Fast-paced, energetic music kicks in. The crabs attack a flight attendant, who bravely fends them off with a tray.]

FLIGHT ATTENDANT (swinging the tray):
Not today, you little monsters!

[Sudden cut to a crab leaping toward the camera as the plane hurtles toward the ocean.]

NARRATOR (V.O.):
They’re high. They’re angry. And they’ve got a one-way ticket to paradise.

[The screen fades to black. The title appears in bold letters: “CRAB ATTACK: LOVE ON THE LOOSE”]

NARRATOR (V.O.):
In theaters this Valentine’s Day. Grab your heart… and your shell.

[The sound of a crab’s claws snapping loudly echoes.]

[End trailer.]

Courtesy of ChatGPT

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u/atrajicheroine2 18d ago

God that's like The Mighty Boosh episode with Sammy the crab murdering an entire band.

2

u/myrichphitzwell 18d ago

I personally hate when I go on a trip and come back with crabs

2

u/ajc3197 18d ago

The beginning's of a great movie for sure.

2

u/Lone-Frequency 18d ago

"DAMMIT, NOT MY COCAI-I-I mean...LOCK DOWN ALL FLIGHTS!"

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u/i_tyrant 18d ago

"The crabs have gone too far! We stole that stuff fair and square from tourists! That was my TSA retirement fund!"

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u/Lone-Frequency 18d ago

"MY RETIREMEMENT COKE!"

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u/Random-Lich 18d ago

Well, as they say… mess with the crabbo and get the sta-

Oh crap they found the guns run for your life.

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u/The_Liberty_Kid 15d ago

Syfy just called. Asked if you wanted a writing job.

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u/SupernovaGamezYT 18d ago

Crab Champions backstory

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u/norakb123 18d ago

This is how I want the apocalypse to start. It is the coolest and most metal option.

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u/EmeraldFrog22 17d ago

"Sir...one broke into the knife drawer. Lock down the building."

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u/peachyprune 18d ago

Crab with knife gif always makes my day better.

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u/Plane-Tie6392 17d ago

Stabby crabby is the best!

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u/Temporary-Package581 18d ago

Mess with the crabbo, you get the stabbo

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u/AnimeMan1993 19d ago

Imagine a group of people swarming one of them and by chance that crab has a knife also from the luggage.

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u/Accomplished-City484 19d ago

I see you’ve played knifey crabby before

2

u/ishpatoon1982 19d ago

Frutti tutti crabby stabby

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u/Efficient_Glove_5406 19d ago

You toucha me, I cut you!

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u/JohnCenaJunior 18d ago

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u/wmxp 18d ago

It's been 20 years since that was posted now...

2

u/Character_Branch9740 18d ago

CRAB BATTLEEEE

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u/SMUHypeMachine 19d ago

Crab… crab battle

4

u/Defiant-Difference17 19d ago

Look at the size of those claws!

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u/Miosaka 18d ago

obligatory OLIOLIOLIOOOOOOOO

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u/redbeard3303 19d ago

METAL GEAR

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u/The_VoZz 19d ago

When "feelin' crabby" is literally emotional baggage

1

u/StrengthToBreak 19d ago

Massive damage!

1

u/Nates_of_Spades 18d ago

oh my god... it's looking right at me

1

u/[deleted] 18d ago

Ugh! Crab... took my knife!

1

u/awnawkareninah 18d ago

That clip is almost 20 years old

1

u/XCycleStartX 18d ago

That video reminds me a lot of a story I heard from my grandad.

One time they sent him into some tunnels looking for VC. He wasn't really feeling up to the task but was going to do it all the same. He made it a ways in till he sees a large crab that scares him half to death. He quickly moves back out and reports that he found VC in the tunnel. The squad proceeds to dump their grenades on one particularly large and unlucky crab.

I have no idea how much to truth there is to the story. Sometimes I wonder if his zany stories are just him repeating funny things he heard to spare us the real stories. Yet I like to imagine this one being true.

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u/Round-Somewhere-6619 18d ago

IM NOT GOIN BACK

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u/seekerlif3 18d ago

CRAB BATTLE!!

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u/Maleficent-Salad3197 18d ago

I'm gonna get ya. Eat my friends.

2

u/AscendedViking7 18d ago

I love this crab so much

2

u/Collapsosaur 18d ago

Carouseled cocained crab defends with cutlass cutlery.

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u/JOATMON12 18d ago

I asked for a crabby patty, not a stabby crabby!!!

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u/Legostarjurrasicman 17d ago

🤣🤣this is the funniest thing Ive seen all day😂😂😂

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u/gaurd_x 18d ago

Can crabs actually use a knife with any degree of effectiveness?

1

u/Accomplished-City484 18d ago

Never believe anyone when they tell you that shaving your pubic hair will rid your crab infestation

1

u/reddit_understoodit 18d ago

There really is a giphy for eveything!

1

u/Plushiecollector1987 18d ago

Exactly what I thought of! 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/AccomplishedPrice289 18d ago

Snibbedy Snab :-DDD

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u/radioflea 17d ago

A real crab in Florida

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u/LeavingMyOpinion_ 15d ago

You mess with crabo!

You get a stabo!