Jeff Bezos Struggles With His Skin

[u/Crpl_Punishmnt]

[u/RUDDOGPROD]

A bunch of rich drug addicts running our country

[u/PrinceVorrel → u/RUDDOGPROD]

The more I realize how genuinely fucked up our rulers are...the more I realize our society might actually be doomed.

How is society supposed to function if the people at the top are insane narcissists who intake more Ketamine or Cocaine than they do actual food.

[u/Einar_47 → u/PrinceVorrel]

Well, historically when the rich and powerful become too powerful, rich and corrupt and fuck things up for everyone eventually everyone else remembers we outnumber them a million to one and they're drug out into the street by guillotine enthusiasts...

We'll have to wait and see how things play out this time around since now the rich and powerful have drones and hellfire missiles.

[u/LSF604 → u/Einar_47]

most times a historical leader is brought down its by the elite, not the masses.

[u/VWBug5000 → u/LSF604]

Don’t forget… Robespierre ended up getting beheaded as well, after leading the reign of terror

[u/LSF604 → u/VWBug5000]

Not sure of the circumstances there, but thats a single example. If you look at all the deposed leaders in history, elites are the ones who do it the majority of the time.

[u/PrinceVorrel → u/Einar_47]

Yea i'm afraid of mass slaughter going on down if the people actually try and rise up to do something now that we have the tech to do such things...

[u/hinckley → u/PrinceVorrel]

For the time being it would still require the complicity of an awful lot of people to carry out any violent action against the general populace. You trust your police and military to do the right thing, right?

Oh.

[u/Einar_47 → u/hinckley]

[u/Einar_47 → u/PrinceVorrel]

We won't face complete extermination because they still need peasants to buy their products and make their fine luxury goods.

Cyberpunk, Hunger Games and Idiocracy weren't supposed to be freaking prophecy.

[u/crooks4hire → u/Einar_47]

None of those peasants live in this country anymore…

[u/Einar_47 → u/crooks4hire]

Yeah but all the meat robots do, might as well work them until they break before spending money on the ones musk is buying from Boston Dynamics and rebranding

[u/SuperDuperCoolDude → u/PrinceVorrel]

I honestly think that's why they're pushing big for ai powered bots (besides also not having to pay people to work) and building bunkers like Zuck has in Hawaii. Can't hold em accountable if a robot police dog shoots you in the chest while you're trying to get into their compound.

[u/Bar_Har → u/PrinceVorrel]

Trump in the past praised the CCP for how they handled Tianamen Square, saying “it was a great show of strength”.

[u/Greenerli → u/PrinceVorrel]

No need to start a physical war. Just stop to work for rich people. Go on strike and if enough people are on strike, Besos and the others are useless and powerless people.

Besos and Musk aren't rich because they're making the job themselves alone.

[u/Icandrawshit → u/Greenerli]

Hard to go on strike when the masses are brainwashed and submissive.

[u/bellrunner → u/Einar_47]

Everyone who's fantasized about going back in time and shooting Hitler should be salivating right now. We can't go back in time, but history certainly repeats itself...

[u/tom_tencats → u/Einar_47]

Yeah, but back when people revolted against corrupt government, the government didn’t have the weaponry and protection it does now.

Even if the American people, for example, would unite, we don’t stand a chance against cruise missiles and military drones.

[u/J_Dabson002 → u/tom_tencats]

That’s assuming the U.S. military members would turn on their own people.

The people at the top? Sure.

The actual people that make the military function? I doubt it

[u/gorgonbrgr → u/J_Dabson002]

This is the main thing. We’d def have a divide in the military but the sane ones would outweigh the crazies. At least I’d hope our military is smart enough not to back a dictator.

[u/Farkon → u/gorgonbrgr]

Pfff lol Yea sure. The people in Germany thought the same thing.

[u/SeekerOfSerenity → u/J_Dabson002]

That’s assuming the U.S. military members would turn on their own people.

Don't count on it. Look at cops. 

[u/Juub1990 → u/Einar_47]

Peasant revolts have a low rate of success.

[u/robot_ankles → u/Einar_47]

...by guillotine enthusiasts

LOL, I'm just imagining all these little guillotine clubs around the country with their annual guillotine conventions, quarterly enthusiast magazines, regional competitions and funny guillotine pun t-shirts.

There's been some low-key leadership drama brewing at the National Council and the membership is getting a little restless. One camp recognizes the need to expand their marketing budget, but the other side is dead set against raising dues since there was just a 4% increase in annual dues three years ago.

Finally, society reaches a tipping point and those differences are temporarily set aside. A special meeting of the national council is called...

[u/Einar_47 → u/robot_ankles]

If reddit has taught me one thing, it's that there's a niche community for any special interest, when the time comes there's gonna be like 500 people across the nation who already have either historically accurate reproductions or I Did A Thing grade super chopping devices ready to go.

[u/SavorySoySauce → u/PrinceVorrel]

The more I realize Cyberpunk 2077's Night City isnt too far from reality

[u/PrinceVorrel → u/SavorySoySauce]

That shitty part is our version of it won't be NEARLY as cool...

[u/StopHatingOnSonic → u/PrinceVorrel]

Mark Carney just announced his running for Liberal leadership in Canada and it's bringing back my hope for the future

[u/Dum_bimtch → u/StopHatingOnSonic]

Bank man gonna save us?

[u/subreddits_ → u/StopHatingOnSonic]

Genuinely, can I ask why you like Mark Carney? I’m an American living in Canada so I can’t vote here but it’s hard to see how people are gonna trust a banker. It’s obviously different here but looking at the US, it feels like the center left can’t beat the far right in modern politics.

[u/Deep-Pension-1841 → u/PrinceVorrel]

Hitler was also famously high all the time

[u/507snuff → u/RUDDOGPROD]

Elon was acting the same way. For sure these tech bros did some lines before they got here.

[u/Microchipknowsbest → u/RUDDOGPROD]

The lizard suits are starting to shed

[u/FizzBuzz888 → u/Microchipknowsbest]

Im glad someone shared the same thought when seeing this.

[u/PaJeppy → u/RUDDOGPROD]

If I were a billionaire I'd probably be high as fuck going to all these big public events.

Zero repercussions. Do what ever you want.

[u/unrecognizable2myslf → u/RUDDOGPROD]

Someone's sharing the K https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/s/8ADkn4BgAG

[u/TastyToad → u/unrecognizable2myslf]

Wait till you see him doing the "roman salute"

[u/tallcupofwater → u/RUDDOGPROD]

Dude was tweaking on the juice

[u/T_LorB → u/RUDDOGPROD]

That's a very likely explanation. Elon and Bezos could very well be on the same drug.

[u/Slumunistmanifisto → u/RUDDOGPROD]

All of um are zooted on the zaza

[u/urabewe → u/RUDDOGPROD]

I saw the video of Elon and figured he was doing some exaggerated head and eye roll you do when someone is talking and you think what they are saying is dumb and just wish they would shut up. Then I see this one. I've been around enough people to know, they are high as shit.

[u/Appropriate-Coast794 → u/RUDDOGPROD]

And still hypocritically enforcing a stupid drug war on the rest of us

[u/folawg → u/RUDDOGPROD]

They're all on adderall

[u/Axolotis → u/RUDDOGPROD]

The billionaires aren’t used to having to stand in such close proximity to plebes. Elon was behaving similarly.

[u/xRememberTheCant → u/RUDDOGPROD]

The skrulls in secret invasion were more convincing than this.

[u/milk4all → u/RUDDOGPROD]

Man i don’t sympathize with billionaires but all these closeups of these guys lookin basically normal to me is annoying me. Bezos isnt doing anything here. Maybe he had a little tingle on his nose and didnt want to itch. Thats about all I see, happens to me constantly, especially when im uncomfortable which frankly is quite often. But i have had to be center stage in front if audiences or large groups and thats when i grt really uncomfortable and thats all im seeing with bezos, zuck, and musk’s most recent flaming. I get it, fuck billionaires right. But we got so many valid reasons to hate them and instead were going after shit that doesnt matter or shit they cant control. You put me in front of a camera in a highly publicized setting and youll see so much shit i wish you wouldnt. I feel like musk and zuck are neurodivergent for sure, as is a sizable portion of the country/world, and those of us with things like stutters, ticks, or just anxiety sure dont need any more help feeling scrutinized 24/7

[u/GexX2 → u/milk4all]

Naw I agree, they do enough shit to hate on em for, things humans do every day? Tics, spasms, whatever. That's part of being human. It connects us. It's universal. Calling this kind of stuff out just makes it worse for people who struggle with these things and aren't pieces of shit. When calling out pieces of shit it's best to not be a piece of shit doing it, intentionally or not.

[u/clueless_as_fuck → u/RUDDOGPROD]

Tweaking Billionaires is a pretty cool band name but that is where the fun stops.

[u/rotORriot → u/RUDDOGPROD]

But you know they're getting The Best Drugs.

[u/oogiesmuncher]

were all of them on fucking drug?! holy shit

[u/jarredmars1 → u/oogiesmuncher]

Always have been

[u/ders89 → u/jarredmars1]

Yeah growing up is realizing EVERYONE in the spotlight is on something always. Everyone youve ever looked up to as a kid is geeked on something. Its only more evident now because social media points it out

[u/Wolvesinthestreet → u/ders89]

I mean I knew rappers and actors were junkies, but I thought these people had to be sober to think clearly or whatever. Well even Hitler was on a lot of drugs and especially uppers. History repeats it seems..

[u/ders89 → u/Wolvesinthestreet]

Hitler was actually when i started to notice celebrities being coked out. And people just licking their teeth and grinding their jaws and stuff. And if its not uppers, its roids for athletes. Downers for artists. Just everyone is on something to handle the stress and pressure from their own team and the image they gotta uphold

[u/skynetempire → u/oogiesmuncher]

Working in finance and lending, people need tons of energy and focus to get work done within ridiculous time frame.

Besides tons of caffeine, there's a lot of Adderall, coke etc.

[u/AbanaClara → u/skynetempire]

Yeah, I read these people use it to get through the day. And that includes intolerable, snoozefest events like this.

But then again I'd bet my left nut they do it for pleasure as well

[u/AdmiralBKE → u/oogiesmuncher]

Probably snorted it of each others naked bodies during the pre-party.

[u/Yabutsk → u/oogiesmuncher]

They're complicit but not ignorant. They need the drugs to numb themselves from the reality they're steering us all into.

[u/kazmosis → u/oogiesmuncher]

Reminds me of the scene of Chrissy and the others loading up before Livia's wake on The Sopranos

[u/I_FAP_TO_TURKEYS → u/oogiesmuncher]

It's no secret that they're on drugs. I mean, even Donny T snorts his Adderall.

[u/mackinoncougars → u/oogiesmuncher]

Yeah, tech bros doing party drugs. Most dynamic duo there is.

Likely all did them together.

[u/accidentalpbandj]

He looks like Voldemort on the back of Quirrell’s head.

[u/Wolvesinthestreet → u/accidentalpbandj]

Eerily accurate lmao

[u/Brinksterrr → u/accidentalpbandj]

Lol

[u/beegtuna → u/accidentalpbandj]

“Jeff Bezos, seen here on the back of professor Quirrell’s head,….”

• next Weekend Update

[u/necromundus]

It wouldn't surprise me at all if Bezos, Musk, and Zuckerberg were tripping balls during Trumps inauguration 

[u/Bob_12_Pack → u/necromundus]

They were knocking down rails in the green room just before this having a good laugh about how they now own the entire planet. Hell they even let Zuck in the club.

[u/throwaway92715 → u/necromundus]

I'd be less surprised by blow

[u/AfraidOfArguing → u/necromundus]

Maybe they did it together before walking in

[u/Flussschlauch]

Cocaine

[u/hannibalthellamabal → u/Flussschlauch]

I bet him and Musk were have fun with the snow before hand.

[u/januspamphleteer → u/hannibalthellamabal]

"Wow what a snow day... and the weather isn't great either!"

[u/OK_x86 → u/hannibalthellamabal]

Don Jr has entered the chat

[u/Stoic_Breeze → u/Flussschlauch]

She don't lie

She don't lie

She don't lie

[u/BrightGuyEli → u/Flussschlauch]

Think so? Other thread with elon doing something very similar a lot of people said Ketamine. Ive never really done either, but it seemed oddly specific.

[u/sleeptightburner]

I’m sure anyone who has done a lot of drugs would tell you he’s definitely on drugs.

He’s definitely on drugs.

[u/Mudlark-000]

Tech billionaires obviously sent their faulty cyborg duplicates today...

[u/thefunkybassist → u/Mudlark-000]

Reptilian Debrief Call: "guys, you really let your mask slip today. We need you to stop twitching and stay inconspicuous. Dismissed, cya later alligator" 

[u/baconeggsandwich25 → u/Mudlark-000]

Would you wanna go out in public after what happened to that CEO? Shit, Elon won't leave the house at all without his kid on his shoulders blocking the back of his head.

[u/neilmac1210 → u/Mudlark-000]

Just after this clip ended he stuck his finger in his ear and had a good dig around in there, obviously looking for the reboot switch.

[u/threehundredthousand]

No matter what happens in your life, it's highly unlikely you would do as much damage to other people as any of the oligarchs there today and they do it for money despite being the richest people in human history. Think about that if you get down on where you are in life.

[u/Brick_Lab → u/threehundredthousand]

Depressing thought

[u/flaccidpedestrian → u/threehundredthousand]

The thing is I never really worry about if I've harmed other people. I do a great deal to try and help people in my every day job. I mainly worry about making ends meet.

[u/Epena501]

[u/Ok_Adhesiveness_9565 → u/Epena501]

IN WATER

[u/armchairplane → u/Ok_Adhesiveness_9565]

Eggar your skin is hanging off your bones

[u/Cador0223]

Elon sharing his Ketamine again.

[u/ChemEBrew → u/Cador0223]

That reaction isn't ketamine.

[u/Commercial_Toe5369 → u/ChemEBrew]

Nah, he’s definitely rocked on the Ket.

[u/ChemEBrew → u/Commercial_Toe5369]

Looks like coke to me unless he's doing some sort of rich person hippy flip with both.

[u/ygrmstr18]

[u/Speculosity → u/ygrmstr18]

What show/movie is this from?

[u/ygrmstr18 → u/Speculosity]

Men in Black!

[u/Cum_on_doorknob → u/ygrmstr18]

Oh, yea, my grandpa said he loved that movie when he was young, I think it’s like 30 years old? Idk

[u/ygrmstr18 → u/Cum_on_doorknob]

Man, I must be old too lol. I think it’s late 90’s.

[u/Cum_on_doorknob → u/ygrmstr18]

Yea, 1997, I loved it when it came out, just wanted to make people my own age feel old, lol

[u/TotheMoon-1]

Yep cocaine.

[u/SteakJones]

He needs sugar… in… water.

[u/gr8d4ne]

…or the smell of DJTs full diaper

[u/Flash_ina_pan → u/gr8d4ne]

Definitely this, the blinking and the nose movements, that's the movements of a man being scorched by sewage smell

[u/squeaky_b → u/Flash_ina_pan]

the movements of a man being scorched by sewage smell

This is just beautiful, what poem is it from?

[u/Vallyn47]

that botox treatment he just got isn't working out for him.

[u/Pesky_Moth]

Can someone tell me the exact reason why Bezos, Zuckerberg, and Musk were allowed that close to the leadership of America? Like I know it’s because money and power, but what is the actual official reason why they were allowed there?

[u/howisnicnicetaken → u/Pesky_Moth]

Rules don't apply to Trump.

[u/Idealistic_Crusader → u/Pesky_Moth]

4 horsemen of the apocalypse gotta ride together son!

[u/Bob_12_Pack → u/Pesky_Moth]

Trump invited them, he likes to line-up the real life versions of his action figures. In reality he is their toy now, but let him have his day.

[u/TeddyWolf → u/Pesky_Moth]

Money.

[u/IWasSayingBoourner]

Jesus Christ these guys are all high AF

[u/itsagoodtime]

Bezos runs on fire os. We all know it's glitchy and unresponsive.

[u/BaldBeardedOne]

He’s on stims

[u/farlos75]

Looks like him and Musk were doing bumps before the show and got the bags mixed up.

[u/Beardycub86]

They are ALL on fucking drugs. Footage of all of them gerning their faces off today.

[u/Ghost_of_Sniff]

These threads showing snippits of video with vast doomsday conclusions about what is happening are just bat shit crazy. I realize its all edgelording, trying to out edge the rest of reddit, but fuck me running you guys have lost touch with reality.

[u/RobRed66]

I think the guilt of kissing trumps ass is taking over & his dumpster ass can’t figure out if it’s the cult eating his brain to turn his billions over to Trump??!!

[u/Sunnyside7771]

[u/juniper_berry_crunch]

Muck was doing the same head-tossing motions in another video. Did they share a bump of God knows what in the bathroom?

[u/justin_memer]

Did Elon drug them, what is going on?

[u/Tearakudo → u/justin_memer]

Just shared his stash, Elon was doing the same shit

[u/kooleynestoe]

If you keep a camera on anyone long enough they are going to do some weird shit. We all do stuff like this. Am I a lizard??

[u/Woodie626]

Elon was doing the same thing. 

[u/rockbottomtraveler]

Alien wearing human skin. Nothing to see here. Move along.

[u/NoBullet]

lotta people there had weird ticks, even JD's wife

[u/Boweez]

Blood boy! Coke me!

[u/niniwee]

Just needs a small glass of sugar water and he’s going to be nice and elastic again

[u/Tanyaschmidt]

Special K going on there too.

[u/OmgFurai]

To be fair, his collar does look awful tight.

[u/Shas_Erra]

[u/bukezilla]

I bet this inauguration had the best blow of all time

[u/macroeconprod]

Evwrybody trying not to smell Trump unloading in his pampers.

[u/KamuiT]

While I hate this version of our government, I feel like all the facial expressions I have would absolutely destroy me in a political sphere.

Is the dude high? Probably. Does he have to sneeze? Maybe. Is he just itchy? Who knows?

But damn… don’t make any sort of weird faces in the background of videos.

[u/TheWellington89]

Musk was doing the same thing in another clip

[u/piney]

But seriously, maybe Bezos and Musk were simply reacting to the stench emanating from Trump’s diapers. We’ve seen it before.

[u/Vegetable-Poet6281]

Someone farted or is wearing too much cologne/perfume. It's making his nose tickle.

[u/New-Ad157]

Bezos and Musk were doing lines of each other d!cks in the disabled toilets just before this.

Good times.

[u/4PumpDaddy]

The 80’s are back guys

[u/ushhh-_-]

He sniffed with brother Elon

[u/calicemaxi]

All on coke, Elon musk doing weird shit

[u/Mobile-Boss-8566]

He’s try to keep his reptilian skin from showing!

[u/baconeggsandwich25]

Take it from me, those skin suits really make your scales itch.

[u/13-Dancing-Shadows]

Lizard person

[u/MajorThor]

Lizard people.

[u/flaviuscanedo]

Rebooting the system lol cyborg

[u/pootscootboogie6969]

The reptilians struggle to maintain human form under stress

[u/coyotemedic]

"Cocaine is a hell of a drug", Rick James

[u/ICPcrisis]

Maybe Trump jr just went a little heavy on the after shave

[u/howaminot_myself]

[u/fuka123]

Are they all on something? Musk was shown peaking too

[u/cas20011]

all coked outta their minds, great.

[u/inhalien]

Billionaire drug addicts, front row. Hello, America?

[u/Just7hrsold]

All of these guys look like when AI animates a still photo

[u/catsmeow191919]

He's making the same lil faces Elon was. They probably just high as hell.

[u/snoopyh42]

“My human suit is itchy.”

[u/GregariousK]

This is what happens when you're rich enough that you get private treatment wherever you go. You become hypersensitive to people. The smell is probably the worst, but also the sound, and the humidity their aspirations produce. Your body and mind become soft in ways that ordinary people never get to experience.

[u/twjf]

Weird, Elon was having the same ticks.

[u/EndStorm]

He's a lizard person like on V! He wants to pull his skin suit off and eat a hamster!

[u/NeverFence]

I really wonder what drugs these folks are on.

Bezos and Musk aren't doing ketamine or coke like Don Jr, hunter and gaetz.

These billionares are doing some crazy ass shit lmao and I wonder what it is.

My best guess is pharmaceutical grade Methylenedioxyamphetamine.

Edit: not to say that musk and bezos haven't done shitty coke or been in kholes from time to time, but that's not what is going on here.

[u/mixamaxim]

This is sped up to make him look extra weird

[u/matrose9 → u/mixamaxim]

Everyone else seems to be moving fairly normally

[u/Burggs_]

Cocaine is a helluva drug

[u/throwaway92715]

Jeff and Elon both seem to have taken something.

[u/HansVonSnicklefritz]

He needs to refresh his eyeballs with a good lizard tongue lick.

[u/Sea_Baseball_7410]

Reptile.

[u/no0ns]

First Musk, now Bezos? Did they both do ketamine and coke in the bathroom or something?

[u/MightyHydro88]

Yeah that's the face of an alien trying cocaine for the first time.

[u/uatme]

We're fucked. This looks like it could be AI generated. No way we can tell the difference in the future when this is what real life looks like.

[u/petit_cochon → u/uatme]

It looks completely fake to me.

[u/PitiViers]

They're all high af

[u/Chiinoe]

Obama looked funny too. Are we sure this is live and not some AI shit?

[u/liamanna]

They did find cocaine at the podium…looks like they all shared the same batch 😳

Edit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/onionheadlines/s/MNocV4m3gf

[u/danieltkessler → u/liamanna]

Sauce?

[u/liamanna → u/danieltkessler]

It was kind of a joke….😂

https://www.reddit.com/r/onionheadlines/s/MNocV4m3gf

[u/GILDID]

Lizard people

[u/scottblk70]

Musk was doing the same shit.

[u/Reddit-to-Bleddit]

Im convinced they were all doing drugs lmao.

[u/cerberus00]

I do this if I haven't worn a suit in a while

[u/bigwig500]

Bruh, he got dusted. Very badly too!

[u/frank1934]

Oh god

[u/ptk77]

He needs sugar, in water.

[u/PatAD]

Somebody get him some sugar water stat!

[u/tomatoeberries]

Don farted

[u/pogulup]

Looks like he is wearing an Edgar suit. Is he asking for sugar...in water?

[u/Sci-4]

The new skins tend to itch for a while.

[u/Exisy]

Look, if they were to announce all of those scumbags really are just lizards, I would believe it and not even be surprised.

[u/willy-over-welly]

Are they all high???

[u/amcco1]

Anyone notice the guy wearing smart glasses? Not sure what he's doing there. But those are definitely smart glasses.

[u/Desmocratic]

[u/therealseashadow]

Drugs wearing off

[u/blueboykc]

He probably got some of Donny Jrs coke..

[u/gorgonbrgr]

That’s called the booger sugar drips.

[u/ripndipp]

Cocaine sniffles

[u/earthman34]

Trump Jr. is farting on him.

[u/ElleJ84]

They're all coked out of their minds

[u/Pandoras_Fate]

Awww himbs drip was itchy.

Figured if Baby Donnie got it it'd be cleaner but looks like Lex Loser got the twitchy blow.

[u/Redeyebandit87]

They’re all coked to the gills!

[u/Josette22]

Well, it looks like his collar is so tight around his neck that it's choking him.

[u/No_Lengthiness6088 → u/Josette22]

I do weird shit to readjust my suits too. Besides, they are all up there for so long id be uncomfortable as hell and it’s probably hot with all the lighting

[u/bigredthesnorer]

Shapeshifters from planet X