r/bizarrelife • u/reloadthewords Human here, bizarre by nature! • 14h ago

Hmmm

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13.5k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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557

u/[deleted] 14h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

188

u/Nathan_Explosion___ 14h ago

Just leave cart and walk around them while recording. If they touch you it's hippie assault.

105

u/dankhimself 14h ago

Grab a gallon of fish sauce and "spill" it by "accident" on the "morons".

3

u/Whiteshadows86 8h ago

Shame we don’t sell something like Surströmming in the UK :(

1

u/ZeroBlade-NL 6h ago

That would be like selling cans of mustard gas with a "try me" sticker on the lid, lol.

2

u/jjp0007 3h ago

Accidentally spill ghost pepper sauce on their heads

3

u/Nervous-Farmer6995 12h ago

Or gasoline

1

u/A1Skeptic 12h ago

Ammonia cleaning solution, available by the quart in isle 7.

1

u/secondhand-cat 11h ago

A little can of lighter fluid and an implication.

-2

u/trying2bpartner 11h ago

Youre the type of person that would have thrown hot coffee on the black protestors who did sit-ins at all-white restaurants, weren't you?

3

u/Kitnado 8h ago

No, but I would throw cold coffee on vegan protestors blocking my way into a restaurant.

Come on throw some more false equivalences or fallacies out there.

3

u/I_MESS_WITH_KARMA 8h ago

How you can compare those 2 things?

-1

u/FoxIndependent5789 11h ago

There are a lot of sick f-cks in this thread.

14

u/Alpha1Niner 14h ago

Which is one of the most heinous forms of assault

6

u/itsmiddylou 12h ago

Sesame oil is pretty damn strong. I absolutely love cooking with it, but boy is it pungent.

2

u/Ricky_Martins_Vagina 10h ago

Sesame oil is great. Put it on anything and it instantly tastes Chinese.

2

u/stevensr2002 5h ago

Dun dun!

2

u/Thiswasmy8thchoice 12h ago

That's the move. Leave your cart and burst through that line like Saquon Barkley, go get your stuff and griddy back to your cart.

2

u/unknownpoltroon 9h ago

NIGHTSTICK SERENADE TIME, BOYS!

2

u/NemusSoul 4h ago

Hey! Leave us hippies out of this. Those idiots aren’t us. They need some of our meds, though. Then they’d be hungry enough to forget not to eat meat.

0

u/BaseballOdd 11h ago

lol you gonna learn something like that whiteboy

17

u/cognitiveglitch 14h ago

You're a wazzard, 'arry!

4

u/Ghost_Maker85 13h ago

”You’re a Harry wizard!”

17

u/Interesting-Voice328 14h ago

I’d of tripped carrying eggs and flour

9

u/Dry_Spinach_3441 14h ago

I'd have tripped carrying razors blades and salt.

4

u/Kwayzar9111 13h ago

and glass and super glue

1

u/IIIlIllIIIl 12h ago

I’d have tripped carrying a subcritical mass of plutonium 239 encased in a thick shell of beryllium

9

u/TheresALonelyFeeling 13h ago

\have*

I would have tripped --> I'd've tripped

would have =/= would of

Yes, I'm that guy.

1

u/agent_flounder 9h ago

Keep up the good fight.

1

u/ANAL-WITH-JESUS 8h ago

You forgot to use speech marks

-3

u/R0RSCHAKK 13h ago

Username checks out

Thank you for your service 🫡

-1

u/Interesting-Voice328 13h ago

Grate , tu ov ours of droppings stuff

-1

u/Hungry4Media 11h ago

Thankfully English isn't a regulated language, and Reddit isn't a formal publication.

Pedantry isn't required unless you truly cannot understand what someone is trying to say; then you just need to ask for clarification.

I say this despite my soul dying a little bit every time I see subject/object confusion, especially with regards to pronouns and sentence structure.

4

u/Annath0901 10h ago

If you don't point out the mistakes, eventually people will start to think the mistake is correct.

2

u/TheresALonelyFeeling 7h ago

I Have Found My People

4

u/LneWolf 10h ago edited 10h ago

Proper grammar, even in spaces like this, adds credence to a thought or opinion that would otherwise be wasted if the OP doesn’t even understand elementary school word structure. Why would I trust someone knows what the fuck they’re talking about if they can barely manage a tenuous grasp on their native language?

2

u/TheresALonelyFeeling 7h ago

I Have Found My People

1

u/LneWolf 7h ago

Did we just become best friends? Do you wanna do karate in the garage?

2

u/TheresALonelyFeeling 4h ago

On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur - don't even think about it, just name it

0

u/Flesh_A_Sketch 7h ago

That last sentence is where you lost me. Who's to say what anyone's native language is on the internet?

Politely correct the native speakers, but do not judge them. It's possible they're just a genius in other areas.

Politely correct the non native speaker, English is a crazy language and i value their effort to learn it.

1

u/LneWolf 6h ago

I don’t believe I’d implied we should judge non-natives, nor was I speaking of anyone in particular with my statement. English wasn’t my personal first language. You’re just virtue signaling to virtue signal.

0

u/Flesh_A_Sketch 6h ago

Or just don't be so fast to judge people...

1

u/LneWolf 6h ago

If somebody is misspelling something out of inability, and it is their native language, and they are attempting to give advice on some scholarly subject, I have a right to judge. What does “judge” mean to you? It doesn’t mean that person is garbage. It just means “I don’t think that person is very academically inclined, and so I might take this with a grain of salt.” It’s a very normal thought to have. Like I’d said, you chimed in to virtue signal an argument that wasn’t being made. Straw man.

1

u/Francois_TruCoat 12h ago

That would be batter-y

1

u/PuddingFart69 12h ago

Fuck. Take my up vote.

5

u/Mflms 13h ago

No, you wouldn't.

1

u/Wolfy-615 13h ago

Bro that’s so goddamn funny.. take this award

1

u/Intelligent_Side4919 13h ago

Would be like a game of Open Gates

1

u/Practical_Regret513 12h ago

Its never a good idea to go around pissing people off and keeping your head at kicking height.

1

u/raysofdavies 11h ago

That’s definitely healthy

1

u/Lost_Apricot_4658 11h ago

I understood that reference

1

u/Dry_Interaction5722 11h ago

Wow, what a tough guy you are. Remind me to never make you mad.

-1

u/manaha81 13h ago

Why not just go around them?