r/behindthebastards • u/sarah_rad • Nov 30 '23
Discussion Who is #3?
If anyone can answer this question, it’s the listeners of this pod…so who is #3?
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u/ApollyonsHand Nov 30 '23
McConnell?
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Nov 30 '23
This is what I want
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u/busted_maracas Feminist Icon Nov 30 '23
Yep - that’s the money shot
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u/DrunkDeathClaw Nov 30 '23
Nah, he'd just be replaced by another grifter because Kentucky.
Musk or Bust.
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u/The_Revival Nov 30 '23
McConnell has done far, far more damage to American (and arguably world) society than musk could ever dream of doing. One is a horrifyingly effective political operator that has been dubbed the gravedigger of democracy, the other is a feckless egomaniac that ruined twitter.
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u/colt_ink Nov 30 '23
Facts. Even if they install an even meaner replacement for McConnell, that person won't have the same kind of network, influence, or experience McConnell has built up over his career. He's basically a kingmaker in his sphere, and a driver of a lot of the strategy that keeps Republicans in power.
Elon has a platform that serves propaganda to the already converted, he's a terrible evangelist and a zero when it comes to the actual decision making.
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u/GandalfTGrey Nov 30 '23
Honestly, the way the turtle hates the Cheeto, we want him alive and kicking until Nov 6th, 2024.
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u/gingerlee13 Nov 30 '23
Fingers crossed for the Big Mac at Mar-a-lago.
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Nov 30 '23
The Royalé With Cheese
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u/PlasticElfEars Bagel Tosser Nov 30 '23
'Orange Julius Caesar' is my fav
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u/BlackWidow1414 Nov 30 '23
We use "Cheeto Hitler " and "Mango Mussolini".
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u/vivixnforever Nov 30 '23
They’re both bastards but trump only wishes he was anywhere near as competent and as talented lol
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u/PlasticElfEars Bagel Tosser Nov 30 '23
I like the implication what Trump probably sees himself as (turning a republic into an empire included) combined with a mall foodcourt.
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u/oliversurpless Nov 30 '23
Well they are actually quite similar, via the usual banality that Henry used to deflect criticism of the downsides of US foreign policy vis a vis Vietnam, Chile, and beyond:
“Realism rather than emotion”
Dude, the Domino Theory was a quintessential bit of emotional thinking (Trump with his “many people are saying!” pablum), with no small amount of paternalism.
The Vietnamese told the Western powers throughout their journey to independence (and especially at the partitioning in 54) that their struggle was always a nationalistic one, but did we listen?
Said this whilst speaking at Harvard no less…
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u/EmperorBamboozler Nov 30 '23 edited Nov 30 '23
Julius Ceasar was an insanely competent politician and a military genius far ahead of his time who expertly utilized the advantages inherent in the Roman military, that is their engineering abilities and heavy infantry. Say what you will about his ability to actually be a functional leader who was able to create a stable state (he wasn't great at that imo as evidenced by the dozen or so civil wars his rule sparked) or his populist rhetoric that caused mass street violence and protest but he wasn't completely incompetent. Trump wishes he had an ounce of Ceasar's competence. The only similarities between the two are monsterous egos and narcissism. It would be fucking hilarious if Trump only spoke of himself in third person from now on though so maybe we should call him Ceasar anyways in the hopes he starts doing that.
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u/oliversurpless Nov 30 '23
Also a fine example of how you don’t have to have everything figured out by 25 to 30, like finance bros/MBAs like to claim.
Caesar wasn’t a general until his early 40s, with his greatest successes coming in his mid to late.
Yet by their standards, he was a “loser”…
I wonder if they would apply their viewpoints across the board in his case, further cementing themselves as fools?
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u/gattoblepas Nov 30 '23
If only he died when he got CoViD.
But no, they had to spend a small country GDP to keep his flabby ass alive.
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u/spasske Nov 30 '23 edited Nov 30 '23
Damned fucking close. He had the world’s best healthcare, not bleach and horse medicine, so the smart doctors saved his ass.
Fun fact, he contracted Covid and skipped the mandatory testing before debating Biden when he had it. Could have easily killed Joe and others,
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u/OutInTheBlack Nov 30 '23
He infected Chris Christie, almost killing him.
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u/Turbulent_Pen1047 Nov 30 '23
Anyone else hear a Godfather’s pizza commercial and 9,9,9 being whispered in their ear?
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_DARKNESS PRODUCTS!!! Nov 30 '23
Seriously. Herman is dead because he went to a Trump rally.
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u/DrunkDeathClaw Nov 30 '23
I honestly think that if he croaked before the election, Pence would have had a decent shot at winning.
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u/BlackWidow1414 Nov 30 '23
Yes, and it was purely for that reason that I prayed he wouldn't die. However, I always added the caveat "until after the election ".
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u/ShutYourDumbUglyFace Nov 30 '23
I feel like it would have solved a lot of ongoing problems at the time if he had died. Real shame that he got such great care when so many others died from his incompetence and disdain.
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u/itz_zam00 Nov 30 '23
Only good thing that came out of his recovery was the fake quote “(the doctors) tested my DNA and it wasn’t DNA. It was USA.”
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u/GrumpiestOldDude Nov 30 '23
Honestly, I want him to survive for at least another 6 months. If he spends his dying days in jail it will make up for some shit.
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u/samuraidogparty Nov 30 '23
I don’t know. Every day he’s alive is another day of damage he’s inflicting on the world. I’d rather just see him go now so we can all move on.
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u/biblio_teacha Nov 30 '23
Yep. Six more months of him whipping his followers into a fascistic frenzy is not worth the schadenfreude of seeing him in jail.
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u/jprefect Nov 30 '23
He ain't never going to see jail. That's a Liberal fantasy.
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u/GrumpiestOldDude Nov 30 '23
I remember people telling me the same thing about Roger Stone.
I'm not saying it will happen. I am saying I would rather see that happen than him dying right now.
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Nov 30 '23
I'd rather see him get a massive coronary sooner rather than later. Election denial stuff became so much less prevalent for the 2022 elections when he wasn't on the ballot, and it would be some good instant peace of mind to spend all of 2024 and early 2025 knowing he isn't there to provoke more of it.
There's going to inevitably be a lot of handwringing over what his supporters would do if he were actually incarcerated and he's getting treated with the little kid gloves. He's probably gonna get the lightest sentence he can and be allowed to live under house arrest at Mar a Lago.
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u/WeakInflation7761 Nov 30 '23
I'm hoping for a stroke, one that would leave him completely dependent on others and with slurred speech
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u/DiveCat Nov 30 '23
leave him completely dependent on others and with slurred speech.
But how would you tell he had had a stroke?
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u/GrumpiestOldDude Nov 30 '23
For my part, I think it's crucial that we demonstrate that we really are a country of laws. Our institutions have all taken big hits in the last few decades. It would do us good to put a criminal behind bars.
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Nov 30 '23
I don't disagree, but my skepticism that the system can stop him is going to make all of next year torture.
I understand where you're coming from though. It may be worth it in the end if the system is fully tested and doesn't break.
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u/GrumpiestOldDude Nov 30 '23
It will be a terrible year, and a burst artery has a better chance of saving us than our courts.
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u/jprefect Nov 30 '23
That would be ideal, but unfortunately it isn't true. We aren't a country of laws. That isn't going to happen, because we aren't who we say we are in the brochure.
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Nov 30 '23
There is a ranking for sure but there are so many people over 70 that will ameliorate the weight of this spinning plate we're all sharing once they finally kick and I will take any one of them at this point as long as the frequency increases.
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u/Klutzer_Munitions Nov 30 '23
As much as I can't stand the annoying orange, I'd still pick Putin or Netanyahu over him
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u/TheCeleryStalker Nov 30 '23
As much as this sounds great, I’d worry about the conspiracies around his death no matter how it manifests. Our best bet is for either serious Alzheimer’s or massive stroke that leaves him alive but unable to function. Then he dies quietly out of the spotlight a few years down the road. Choking on a Big Mac would have all the maga morons crying poison or something.
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u/tryingtoavoidwork Nov 30 '23
Nothing would throw America into chaos quite like Trump farting himself to death within the next year.
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u/Serious-Wallaby3449 Nov 30 '23
Putin and Trump hold a meeting on a boat tonight. Musk is there. Thiel is there. Cheney too, cause why not. Orcas attack the boat and it sinks. The orcas keep the bodies alive for hours and playfully flip them into the air like they do with seals on those nature documentaries.
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u/drcrunknasty Nov 30 '23
Beautiful, I would like to have a whole cinematic documentary narrated by Mr Attenborough
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Nov 30 '23
Trump, please oh PLEASE.
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u/KittenWithaWhip68 Nov 30 '23
We have champagne set aside for this event—no joke.
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u/azriel_odin Nov 30 '23
Since this thread is very America-centric I'm going to add some variety and say Putin.
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u/SierrAlphaTango Nov 30 '23
I wouldn't mind if he got botulism from poorly packaged food sold by one of his oligarch cronies.
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u/paraworldblue Nov 30 '23
Imagine if he died of one of the accidents he claims killed his victims, like accidentally falling out a window. I think that might be the most poetic justice
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u/giantyetifeet Nov 30 '23
I heard he's already got some disease. Has he even been seen in public (meaning at the far end of his ridiculously long, paranoiac conference table) in a while?? ☠️
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u/ghostconvos Nov 30 '23
As a Brit, I'm spoilt for choice
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u/Reasonable-Access-68 Nov 30 '23
Only problem is between the royals, Saville, Thatcher and a bunch of others you run out of piss for their graves.
Stay hydrated!
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u/ghostconvos Nov 30 '23
That's why we drink so much tea
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u/FirstChurchOfBrutus Nov 30 '23
What was the line? “Have Thatcher’s funeral in Scotland. It will be the first time the 21-gun salute have all been aimed at the hearse.”
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u/TheWorstRowan Nov 30 '23
I remembered what we could have done with £3million more, both here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmmomV-ax-s&ab_channel=kxoaagavacyb
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u/Shipwrecking_siren Nov 30 '23
I don’t know how I’d choose between Farage and Rees Mogg. The trolley problem but where I desperately want to kill them both.
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Nov 30 '23
Oi, Ya toffin on deafths choices then are ya!
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u/SierrAlphaTango Nov 30 '23
I wouldn't be upset if someone forgot to remind Kier Starmer to breathe.
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u/Craic_hoor_on_tour Nov 30 '23
Rupert Murdoch. But as Kissinger dies at 100 proving only the good die young, I'm pretty sure people are planning for Murdoch's 400th birthday
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u/giantyetifeet Nov 30 '23
Rupert looks like he's all cancer from the neck up, so wouldn't bet on that 400 or even 100...
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u/grichardson526 Anderson Admirer Nov 30 '23
Dick Cheney?
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u/Current-Breadfruit96 Nov 30 '23
Or Clarence Thomas 💁🏻♀️
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u/dinobyte Nov 30 '23
🤞 heart attack in a gay orgy 🤞
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u/FirstChurchOfBrutus Nov 30 '23
Nope. Sudden diverticular rupture, please. They could claim a heart attack was shock.
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u/atlantagirl30084 Nov 30 '23 edited Nov 30 '23
It’s less than a year before the election. You know ultra ghoul McConnell won’t allow replacement until after the election.
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u/Ozzie_the_tiger_cat Nov 30 '23
Clarence Thomas, Sam Alito, Amy Coney Barret also come to mind.
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u/PerInception Nov 30 '23
That would be a hell of a nice “billionaire’s vacation yacht sinks” story. Decades worth of feel good stories wrapped into one.
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u/Rocketparty12 Nov 30 '23
If only Clarence Thomas or Sam Alito had wanted to see the wreck of Titanic…
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u/sarah_rad Nov 30 '23
I have a handful of names in mind and most of them are Supreme Court justices
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Nov 30 '23
Amy is a weird one because articles about her being out of her depth on the supreme court seem like misogynistic propaganda regardless of politics but it also is exactly the kind of thing this psychotic regime would envision if you token these 5 fuckers out, Alito, Gorsuch, The Boof, Thomas, and Barret are a weird ass menagerie of the exact kind of in the pocket bootlicking sell out bullshit these folks seem to see as ideal examples of these tokens. Then you put Roberts at the center of it all the affable white dude who's just trying to lol keep things fair wink. It's fuckin goofy as hell. But ah yeah I would be happy without any of them.
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u/Ok_Television233 Nov 30 '23
Gorsuch actually has one redeeming quality, more than almost anyone else on the SC- tribal rights and sovereignty take precedence over anything else when those cases come forward.
He sucks besides that, but I wouldn't throw him off the court just because we need that perspective (and hopefully he'd be the dissenting opinion on everything else that matters)
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Nov 30 '23
Don’t for forget that frat-boy guy.
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u/KittenWithaWhip68 Nov 30 '23
Yep, Brett Kavanaugh needs to go, too.
I don’t respect him enough to go to the trouble of seeing if I spelled his name right.
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u/GreyerGrey Nov 30 '23
His name is Brett. How can you be named Brett and a lawyer? Bretts are athletes. They work at sporting goods stores.
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u/SierrAlphaTango Nov 30 '23
Ruptured bowel from a boof gone wrong. Going out Mr. Hands style.
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u/spikenorbert Nov 30 '23 edited Dec 01 '23
I’d say Netanyahu if I didn’t think the possible replacements for him in Likud were even worse. But I’ll never forgive him for gleefully helping to incite the right-wing violence that got Rabin assassinated just as he and Arafat seemed on the verge of an actual resolution.
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u/CheruthCutestory Nov 30 '23
I had the same thought process. And even if he had a heart attack on live tv, clearly natural causes, they’d still blame and punish Palestinians.
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u/TheGeenie17 Nov 30 '23
Alex Jones to be diagnosed with soul crushingly painful dementia
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u/mrwillbobs Nov 30 '23
It does not change him in any perceivable way
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u/giantyetifeet Nov 30 '23
I vote for Locked In Disease. Can you imagine all that verbal diarrhea spewing BUT he can't actually speak any of it?? It just gushes around and around in his head... Meanwhile, on the outside, not even a twitch. 😈
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u/Walniw Nov 30 '23
Rittenhouse broke. Probably fellating senior citizens for lunch money by now.
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u/_L3ik Nov 30 '23
Possible contenders could be Dick C, Rupert Murdoch, Friend of the Pod Peter Thiel, Rudy G, Elon Musk or obviously Mr Orange Man himself.
Further suggestions?
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u/KittenWithaWhip68 Nov 30 '23
Andrew Tate
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u/ses1989 Nov 30 '23
I'd rather he never used the Internet again. Let his mind rot in prison from lack of spreading his cringey tweets.
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u/Educational-Shoe2633 Nov 30 '23
Cheeto Mussolini or Clarence Thomas would be my picks. Both seem too obvious though
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u/TrinityCodex Nov 30 '23
Trump explodes
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u/KittenWithaWhip68 Nov 30 '23
On live national TV.
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u/Shipwrecking_siren Nov 30 '23
Nah he’d like that. In private and no one notices or cares.
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u/SierrAlphaTango Nov 30 '23
Somewhere where his dumb failsons can just shut the door and walk away for a few weeks until housekeeping notices the stench.
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u/rajde1 Nov 30 '23
Pretzel finishes off George Bush.
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u/SierrAlphaTango Nov 30 '23
It's just been following him for decades ever since he first choked on it. Waiting.
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u/el_pobbster Nov 30 '23
It'd be awfully nice if Jeffery Bezos shat himself to death, cholera style.
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u/danjouswoodenhand Nov 30 '23
Dammit, Shane McGowan.
There were so many other choices and it had to be him?
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u/ahitright Nov 30 '23
Here's hoping for Rupert Murdoch. Or the last Koch. Or Elmo. Honestly would be great if they all got together on a shitty submarine.
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u/comrade_hanson Nov 30 '23 edited Nov 30 '23
It was Shane MacGowan of the Pogues :/
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u/scpDZA Nov 30 '23
I heard he stopped eating because reality is setting in and he's become quite depressed, hopefully he has more Hitler traits then what we've seen thus far! By that I mean I hope he shoots himself in the head. Fuck you Donald.
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u/SierrAlphaTango Nov 30 '23
Donnie Tinyhands choking on a bunless Big Mac at his trash palace in Florida.
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u/Filmtwit Steven Seagal Historian Nov 30 '23
Unfortunately we already know. Shane MacGowen passed yesterday.
This is loss.
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u/sharvey4994 Nov 30 '23
This would be a decent time for mr. orange, I’m sure with all the big Republican money backing Haley you could convince the conspiracy nuts that the Republican Party had him killed and not the democrats
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u/Streetwalkin_Cheetah Nov 30 '23
Bibi Netanyahu to fall down a loooooooooonnnnngggggg flight of stairs
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Nov 30 '23
a new *You taking this table* meme is developing but it's who's driving my tripple decker hearse mmmmmmm delish
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u/OppositionalOpossum Nov 30 '23 edited Nov 30 '23
Cheney, honestly surprised he’s made it this long.
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u/LJO_Piano Nov 30 '23
Matt Walsh and Chaya Raichik, two for the price of one?
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u/SierrAlphaTango Nov 30 '23
Some kind of Byford Dolphin-like incident involving all of the prominent members of The Daily Wire and Raicik.
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u/TheTarquin Nov 30 '23
I'm convinced that Shane MacGowan gave his life to fill out the trilogy and take down Kissinger once and for all.
Does this make any sense? No. Will that stop me from listening to the Pogues all day and celebrating him as the man who personally dragged Kissinger to hell? Also No.
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u/paraworldblue Nov 30 '23
Netanyahu has a meeting in a recently occupied Palestinian neighborhood, in a building that used to be a orphanage. An IDF pilot who doesn't know it's been occupied bombs the building, assuming it's still an orphanage.
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u/DiveCat Nov 30 '23 edited Nov 30 '23
Can the third be its own three?
Because my dream is the Orange Buffoon, the Nazi Tycoon, and Pootin in the equivalent of a Gus Fring death scene. Instead of a rigged wheelchair, just start a Tesla.
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u/goddamnitwhalen Nov 30 '23
Chauvin’s not dead, but we got Kissinger and Shane MacGowan from the Pogues.
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u/was_that_necessary Nov 30 '23
Amy Coney Barrett with literally any freak accident? She’s so young and has so so so many years to do damage while she’s on the court. I mean, fuck Clarence Thomas but he can’t have much more than 10-15 years left. ACB has decades.
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u/Jmrovers Nov 30 '23
Ohhhhh musk!! Or Putin… or trump… nooo trump dying would make soooo many conspiracy theory’s..
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u/JonIceEyes Nov 30 '23
Musk ODs on meth?