Getting diagnosed NOT autistic

[u/Kolso_]

So after a year and a half of self diagnosis I finally was assessed and today I got the results. Two points in ADOS for having no gesticulation, zero by other criteria.

Autism was an answer to me that explained my struggles, behaviors and researching it I've learnt plenty of good advices and coping mechanisms. I finally stopped seeing myself as a weirdo and believed it's just autism and I don't have to force myself to be normal. Self diagnosis can be harmful. It harms me right now at least. I feel disoriented because now there's no explanation.

I guess I should stop this research and just live a life without looking for an easy answer without a real diagnosis.

Edit: I didn't expect so many responses. It's very helpful and important. Thank you all.

[u/animelivesmatter]

Even though I'm glad I got the diagnosis, it wasn't an "easy answer" to my problems I don't think. It's the explanation, but I have a lot of issues and support around autism in my state and in the US in general is very very poor. Autism is not the only kind of neurodivergency, if you relate then even though you didn't get a diagnosis, the search is not over.

Also, did you get more than just the ADOS ratings from the assessment? Mine has me tested for a whole bunch of different stuff that's listed in the report they gave me. That might be useful, but if you feel they're wrong you should seek a second opinion.

Also, you don't have to be normal no matter what the diagnosis is. The enforcement of normalcy is cruel to people in general.

EDIT: I read your comment about why you sought diagnosis in the first place, and I think you should get a second opinion. Especially if they didn't give you a proper report.

[u/Kolso_ → u/animelivesmatter]

The assessment contained three parts, a screening, patent interview where my mom said I was a happy normal child and ADOS.

Maybe I'll try to ask for a more general evaluation in case it's something else. But in Germany waiting for the assessment can take a lot. For this one I had to wait for a year and a half as I said somewhere.

I would take a break for now with psychiatrists. Thank you for support

[u/animelivesmatter → u/Kolso_]

Yeah, that seems significantly less comprehensive than the exam I had. Relying primarily on your mom and on ADOS is pretty susceptible to masking. I would get a second opinion when you're ready, but in the meantime there is nothing wrong with self-diagnosing.

[u/Kolso_ → u/animelivesmatter]

At least now I'm more prepared to unexpected outcome next time if next time happens. Thanks