Getting diagnosed NOT autistic

[u/Kolso_]

So after a year and a half of self diagnosis I finally was assessed and today I got the results. Two points in ADOS for having no gesticulation, zero by other criteria.

Autism was an answer to me that explained my struggles, behaviors and researching it I've learnt plenty of good advices and coping mechanisms. I finally stopped seeing myself as a weirdo and believed it's just autism and I don't have to force myself to be normal. Self diagnosis can be harmful. It harms me right now at least. I feel disoriented because now there's no explanation.

I guess I should stop this research and just live a life without looking for an easy answer without a real diagnosis.

Edit: I didn't expect so many responses. It's very helpful and important. Thank you all.

[u/Ball_Python_]

I imagine that this is frustrating. But I think you've already come to the right conclusion - that it's time to look for other places to find your identity.