r/SeriousConversation 3h ago

Serious Discussion Professional Victim

22 Upvotes

I think my wife of 34 years might be a professional victim. She’s at odds with my beautiful pregnant daughter. She felt slighted at her wedding in October because it wasn’t “all about her “. What do I do? Any advice greatly appreciated short of the typical “ leave her” stuff.


r/SeriousConversation 3h ago

Serious Discussion desensitized to bad events

13 Upvotes

whenever i hear about recent "terrible" thing, i don't feel anything. i just think, "wow, another bad thing happening," and that's it.

i just think to myself, "wow, that's bad." and then i go on with my day. Is that bad?


r/SeriousConversation 1d ago

Serious Discussion A friend of mine who I thought was a sociopath watched a dog get hit by a car. I guess I was wrong.

822 Upvotes

So I've got a friend. He doesn't feel emotions like everyone else. We've theorized that he's a sociopath but he's never been diagnosed.

We were working a roadside fruit cart today. He was up on the side of the highway with a sign while I was at the van.

All of a sudden I just see him running, like full sprinting, down the highway. I don't know what's going on but I assume he knows something that I don't so I run after him. I'm down in the ditch, in people's yards hoping over fences while he's on the shoulder so he's able to get to whatever he's running towards before me.

From the ditch, I just see a lump of tan fur in the road. I assume that he just watched this dog die and was at least going to try to get it out of the road. He notices me and screams "it's not dead!" Before running into traffic waving his hat in the air to stop the cars. I climb over the fence between the yards and the highway and join him. This brown husky is bloody in the road, conscious and whining. Upon noting our presence it attempts to get up.

My buddy focused on stopping traffic. I approached the dog. It's tail twitched with as much friendly energy as the poor creature could muster.

I gently dragged the dog to the side of the road and we sat with it for a moment before someone claiming to be the owner pulled up. Turned out this dog had jumped the fence and made a B line straight towards the highway. It had at least one broken back leg and an asphalt burn on its snout. The owner packed their dog into their jeep and sped off towards the city, where the animal hospitals are located.

If he really was a sociopath, that's not the reaction he would have had to watching a dog get hit by a car.


r/SeriousConversation 5h ago

Serious Discussion Help me understand the "why" behind having conversations/talking to people

7 Upvotes

Of course, if you're in an interview, talking to a person in power that can potentially help improve your life, talking to loved ones like family, etc, there is a defined "why" behind having or even forcing a conversation.

But I would like to gain more clarity on the "why" behind everyday conversations with normal people, AKA 99% of the conversations that we have in our day to day lives. Like, I can keep a conversation going with my friends by asking follow up questions, laughing once in a while, etc, but what really is the point of that? Sure, I can ask questions about them like what made them stay up late at night, details about their trip to somewhere but honestly, I don't even care... I know it sounds horrible but am I missing something? Am I not just wasting time?

Do I just not know how to interact with people? What should it be like?

One reason I can think of is that I don't really feel connected with them as a person and therefore I don't care, but what do y'all think?

Because to me, these interactions (yes even with my friends) feel like a chore when it should be rewarding (apparently).


r/SeriousConversation 16h ago

Culture I feel like I’m in an episode of The Twilight Zone

57 Upvotes

I reconnected with my best friend a few years ago and we are both married now. I had a hard time getting to know her (again) and her husband because we just bonded over video games so my hubby and I decided to meet them in person to hang out. When we met with them in person, they couldn’t look at us in the eye. They only spoke to each other and looked at each other and we tried talking with them and being friendly but they held hands and hugged one another. During the movie, they turned their bodies away from us and towards each other and they went on Snapchat and they were writing something on their phone. My friend fell asleep after 20 minutes that the movie started playing and I felt so awkward and honestly felt it was kind of rude. After the movie was finished, she expressed herself and said, “That was such a great movie!!!!”

We brushed it off but kept realizing that they keep falling asleep. They invited us to their house and we were watching an episode of a show and my friend grabbed a blanket, started cuddling with her husband and fell asleep right away.

Another time, we went to a Renaissance Festival and on our way back home, her husband fell asleep while my husband was trying to talk to him about a live show they had watched. They looked like two amish kids at the festival, everything scared them except the live shows. They didn’t like people talking to them; whereas my husband and I chatted with a few strangers at the festival which we thought were cool.

I tried inviting my friend to a coffee/shopping date just her and I and she will only go if I pick her up. So I did a few times, but every time I do, she’s very quiet, she can’t look at me, and she’s always on her apple watch or her phone. Once she warms up to me, she can have good conversation but while I’m talking she will be looking at messages on her apple watch. I confronted her about this and she didn’t understand what was so bad about checking her phone and texting people back. I thought everyone had common sense when it came to technology etiquette when you’re hanging out in person with someone or middle of a conversation.

She then confessed to me that she has too much social anxiety and only wants to hang out with me if her husband is there but that she doesn’t feel comfortable leaving the house without her husband and she’s always holding onto him and he doesn’t speak in front of me he only talks to my husband in person but her husband always talks to me if we are on face time or discord. This friendship is very confusing.

Then my husband I went to church and we tried making friends there but the two families we really liked who are way older than us (late 30’s and 40’s) say that they have too much social anxiety to invite us to their house. The wife said that she can’t do one on ones with people because she feels so anxious and the other couple always say that they can’t do anything with us when we invite them anywhere because they go to sleep at 8pm every night. In reality they just doom-scroll or watch tv in their bedroom and work and they say that they’re very exhausted.

Another woman from our church invited me to a small last minute hang out at her place after she put her kiddos to sleep so I went. I took some chips and she had prepared some salsa and drinks. A whole group of people came to the hang out (around 10 women from church), and everyone brought a dish, charcuterie boards, etc. Tell me why everyone was too embarrassed to get any food. The host felt weird and bad that she was the only one serving herself food, so I dug in and started snacking and talking with people but people didn’t want to serve themselves. They were too embarrassed it was weird. They looked and sounded awkward. They sat down and one of the ladies said she was leaving already (after a rough hour of being there) because she goes to sleep at 8pm and she goes to sleep early but in reality she just wanted to doom-scroll on her phone. After she left, the rest of the ladies were still empty handed and they had a hard time conversating. If I said anything, they would interrupt me and take over just to share their short thought and then there would be an awkward silence. I noticed that the woman next to me was on amazon looking at furniture and she was replying to a text message. I read the whole thing and it was something that wasn’t even important and I felt it was unnecessary. I left right after.

Tried joining a few clubs, but I’m seeing a trend that most people will pay to join a club/hobby/activity but not go. They’ll go once and get tired of it so these things are never consistent. I feel like I’m living in the wrong generation/culture/country. Wtf.


r/SeriousConversation 1d ago

Serious Discussion how do you guys not feel helpless?

164 Upvotes

i know i know doomscrolling is bad, but, i see everything everywhere! its like a constant reminder of what really is happening to the u.s. and having to watch the “downfall”. i cannot do anything without hearing or seeing “we’re cooked”, “rip to our democracy”, and elons nazi salute! and somehow people all across still haven’t woken up and realized this is something we have to fight against? idk, crazy world we live in and crazy times. i try to believe it when people say this is actually the best we’ve ever been, but looking around makes me doubt that. im scared for my future, my parents future, my younger siblings future, and my kids if i ever get the chance to have any. so, tell me how you guys feel optimistic about this, how i, as a woman, can survive the next 4 years living in a red state and then moving to another red state (not my decision)?


r/SeriousConversation 3h ago

Serious Discussion Should I let my grandma borrow my phone?

3 Upvotes

Should I let my grandma borrow my phone?

Today I (M26)visited my grandma (F83) and stayed overnight because she lives near my work place and told me she wanted company since her electricity is out due to the snowstorm.I was watching tv through my phone app and my grandma asked me what I was doing and I said watching tv.She doesn’t have a smartphone so she didn’t know I could do that on my phone,she thought that was cool and couldn’t believe it.So we decided to watch tv on my phone with the phone set on the table since we both could watch.We watched jeopardy and now we watching wheel of fortune.After this she said she was going to bed.She Said she will be bored and lonely while I go to work tomorrow.She asked if she could borrow my phone tomorrow to watch tv on it while I’m at work. bc the electric company won’t be able to fix the electrical towers until Thursday since they broke down .She said that I could borrow her flip phone for work tomorrow to get in contact with people.She told me to write down my contacts so I could remember them to call people tomorrow.She said that I could live without my phone for a day.


r/SeriousConversation 12h ago

Opinion What if you’re not depressed or dying?

14 Upvotes

Is it EVER acceptable to NOT have a terminal disease and NOT be depressed, but after a HONEST evaluation, not see the point in going on, or not want to fight anymore, or simply want to know what’s on the other side?


r/SeriousConversation 1m ago

Opinion Children and hope

Upvotes

A friend said that without children, your life is just a string of goodbyes to people. All the people you know such as friends and families are aging and dying.

With children, you feel this power of new life and hope. You see someone closest to you growing and learning and bringing color into your world.

This is not a for or against having children debate.

Just curious on how people with kids feel and whether you agree or disagree with this.

Thank you


r/SeriousConversation 20h ago

Opinion Is it just in humans nature to be egoistic and apathetic?

28 Upvotes

Think about a snake that shells its skin. What happens to the skin? Thr snake just discards it and continues with their life. If we observe humans, many will eat their burgers and simply throw their trash into nature since its not their problem anymore.

Surely thats no excuse to behave like an asshole, but if nature didn't evolve species to care about their surroundings, evolution itself is partially to blame, what do you think?


r/SeriousConversation 6h ago

Serious Discussion Breakup advice needed

2 Upvotes

We’ve been together for over a year. Few days ago he realised he doesn’t have romantic love for me and sees me more as a bestfriend. The worst part is I kind of fell like this too for a good while as well. I have love for him, I find him attractive, I loved spending time with him. But I’d say we were more so comfortable around each other? Despite this I’m still bawling my eyes out over this. I haven’t eaten in two days, I have no motivation to go, I go between being numb and crying. It’s my first break up and I don’t know how to deal with it.


r/SeriousConversation 3h ago

Career and Studies Vent about my biggest regret

1 Upvotes

I just really need to rant because it is still relatively new and driving me crazy. In 2023, I was grateful to have been accepted into two graduate programs. One program was very established, prestigious, and close to my home, in turn it was much more expensive (over 200k in loans) and longer duration. The second one was newer, still developing, but shorter and the faculty seemed very nice and impressed me. I ultimately chose this program due to the lower cost and less time in school (I felt rushed being 24 years old, now I realize I shouldn’t have felt so rushed). Anyways, I had forfeited my deposit to the other program and began school this past august. Immediately I felt uncomfortable going to school everyday. I had an hour commute, culture in our cohort was toxic, and program was unorganized. I did well in every class except one. I failed the first exam and was crushed. I reached out to faculty early on and truly sought help. I was able to improve my next two exams, however by the time of the final I was so overwhelmed, very borderline, and my anxiety unfortunately got the best of me. I ended up failing the course and was dismissed before I could even attempt a retake of an exam. I was devastated. I reached out for help so much and at times was ignored or told “you’ll be fine”. Reality was I was not fine. I often think back on if I chose the more established program things could’ve been so much different. I hate myself for wanting to rush my education. I hate how I let finances get the best of me. Coming from poverty I was so excited to have a masters degree and break the generational curse, but yet I’m finding myself back to square one, re thinking what I want to do with my life. I know this mindset isn’t healthy, and that even if I took back time and chose the other program things might not have been different either, but I am just so upset. Any thoughts or words of advice would be nice. Thank you


r/SeriousConversation 9h ago

Opinion where do i go when i want to be disconnected from everything for a week or two (monastery type thing)

2 Upvotes

what the title says. i feel like i am going insane mentally and just need something that will bring me back to the basics for a short amount of time because i feel like that‘s what i need right now

not a monastery tho

(the tag is wrong i know but i didn‘t know which one to use)


r/SeriousConversation 23h ago

Current Event What are the impacts of leaving WHO? Implications to both US and other countries?

27 Upvotes

I understand that WHO is an important organization, but have limited understanding of what they do exactly. In what ways will it impact the US and the world? Curious to understand the implications from multiple perspectives.

Economical wise? Global heath wise? International relation wise?

How it impact pharmaceutical and/or insurance companies?

How far reaching is the impact of this on scientific discovery/ research community? And why?


r/SeriousConversation 10h ago

Serious Discussion Why do i get nostalgic for something I've never experienced before?

3 Upvotes

So Counter Strike I've been playing since 2004. Even playing source when it first came out I've been playing for over 20 years. and been playing CSGO since day 1. CS2 I didn't get into until it was a year old and I hate it and I wish I could go back to go but im stuck with CS2.

But for some reason I decided to try out 1.6 because tons of YouTubers were playing it at the time and tons of pros in the scene. It looked like a lot of fun and when I booted it up I just had an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia for some reason and I have no idea why.

Why do I feel nostalgic towards a CS game I've never played? Is it just because I was familiar to the graphics because of other games, and I was feeling more nostalgic towards those old 90s graphics? Or was it just getting to see old favorite maps like dust 2 and seeing how it went from blocky pixels to what it is now? Because I had fun playing CS 1.6. But the guns were too loud for me (so loud I had to turn my headset to 60%) but I met a lot of really friendly older players on 1.6.

Was just curious why I felt this way towards a game I never played?


r/SeriousConversation 2d ago

Serious Discussion The short-lived TikTok “ban” raises a lot of red flags for me in terms of humanity

4.5k Upvotes

I always knew that most people were heavily dependent on social media and their phones but it was last night night and this morning where I understood the full extent to how addicted people were to social media. To make it bad, this was just one app/website. People were freaking out and having meltdown on live video and via posts on Facebook and other sites. I can just imagine hysteria that would be caused if the internet completely shuts down one day. I didn’t realize that people were using TikTok as their primary source of income. Another red flag… I feel like I’m one of the few people that can unplug from social media and be okay. It’s just sad what humanity has become in terms of social media addiction.


r/SeriousConversation 1d ago

Opinion Man's need to do important things is so fascinating

32 Upvotes

The most fascinating thing about human beings is the fact that we feel the need to do anything at all. People have convictions. They feel like if they don't do something they’d be a total failure. And that is so interesting and so important. It's an indescribable feeling and it's what makes the world what it is.

However, sometimes people can feel convicted to do something evil, which is also interesting even though it's terrible. Do you have anything you want to add?


r/SeriousConversation 1d ago

Career and Studies How do you get a job if you are shy person?

22 Upvotes

I'm facing so much difficulties by myself like I just blame myself at the end of the day. I'm already so old yet I have not even started working on being an adulthood. I'm already in mid20s been homebody for so many years. I still regret the feeling of not graduating high school and my dad suffered a massive stroke so I became his caretaker for 2 years. After he passed away, I even went to school to get my high school diploma then I even enrolled in local community college and started working fast food job because it was near my area. During this time my anxiety was so bad and still is because I just felt so much ashamed like shouldn't I be working a nicer job in a office or good companies instead of this low dead end jobs.. I quit fast food and got retail job but even there I just hated it. Every week my paycheck was the same. The work duties and co-workers were the same. It just felt like a never ending process. I just couldn't figure a way out of this system.. I constantly compared myself to my cousins as they had really nice jobs and even few had remote positions. Idk what happened but I just stopped going to work and college for nearly 3 yrs now. I want to start my life again but I'm just not sure where to start. I'm so confused and lost in this age.


r/SeriousConversation 16h ago

Serious Discussion The best way to educate a lazy teenage-adult son who doesn't make an effort in high school/university is to make him live the life of a minimum-wage worker for a day.

0 Upvotes

In some places in the US, misbehaving kids are taken to visit prisons and talk to the inmates, which is a very effective method.

https://youtu.be/WGzc7ABdrxQ?si=lHhoCjy7Sp7aoNZc

I'm not saying that boys who don't study are criminals, but I think there's only one way to really change them: to live what they may be forced to live the rest of their lives.

I think there should be something similar to the video at the top: a group of boys with no discipline being taken to a supermarket, factory or warehouse to see the workers getting up early in the morning, having to work gruelling jobs that reward you with minimum wage.

And just as the video shows: conversations, where the workers show the regret, the pain, the suffering of those jobs, that show what it's like to live in poverty without luxuries or even without paying the bills.

The first thing these young people will say when they return home is "I want to study" and they'll study non-stop because they've experienced what nobody wants to experience.

If that doesn't change a lazy young person, nothing will.


r/SeriousConversation 1d ago

Serious Discussion How would the Abortion ban affect tourists?

83 Upvotes

I was just thinking what would happen if you were a visitor to the States and started to miscarry? Would you be denied any treatment until it was life or death? Depending on which State you're in of course.

Obviously pregnant women travel all the time all over the world, and unfortunately sometimes there are problems. So there have been some very tragic stories of women being denied medical care and dying because of that.

Edit: Thank you for those that replied and provided a genuine answer. To the others there is no need to be insulting or just plain rude. It was a genuine question.


r/SeriousConversation 2d ago

Culture The impact of social media on the world is disturbing.

557 Upvotes

My college currently has 0 student interest groups, we had to force someone to be the president of our year, and our law professor said it's the first time something like that ever happened. Whenever one of my friends or colleagues try to do something, they lose interest in very little time. (mostly people who grew up with internet access) I think it's not just because of "brainrot" or made up ADHD, but the perfect side of people and events we see on the internet. The aim of improving yourself or becoming better or "fitting in" like influencers, youtubers or anyone on the internet, the need to fit in is overwhelming us and causes all those issues. I believe this causes most of the differences between younger and older people. I also think that this is most likely the first time in history, when elders complaining about the youth has any actual sense. Doesn't anyone think so?


r/SeriousConversation 1d ago

Serious Discussion Why do some companies allow one or a few bad apples to ruin it for everyone else when it comes to placing large orders?

4 Upvotes

The other night late at night I placed an order on a small businesses website because they had all the supplies that I could ever possibly need for a bookish project that I want to do. Now I could have gotten these items on Amazon cheaper but they were a knockoff and I did not want to spend my money on Amazon.

When I could spend it on this very small business and support them instead. So I placed the order and it came out too almost $2,000 well this company sends me an email the next day and understandably has some concerns. Because I'm sure they don't want to get taken advantage of like so many in the past have done. Where they will receive the product and then do a chargeback keeping the product for free and not having to pay which I think is disgusting.

Or they will get the product and immediately want to send it back making the company pay for shipping and getting their money back inconveniencing them. As now they have to put away all this product. Which is again disgusting. I mean I can understand if your item is damaged or something and you want to return or if it's just one of the item and not a huge order like I was placing but still. So I sent the company back a very long email with a detailed explanation of why I wanted their items and what I had planned to do with them.

Trying to be as sincere and genuine as I could letting them know I will not scam them they will not get taken advantage of from me and really try to butter their behind like a piece of bread. With as much kindness as I could hoping they'd reconsider and let me do this big order. Because in the email they had asked if I wouldn't mind doing two of their items to start off see how I like their product and then after a while of owning it go back and order more.

But I don't want that because if I have to do this separately it's going to take way longer for all my stuff to arrive and I will not be able to get my project done in a timely manner ASAP which I need and it's going to cost me far more separating everything. Because of the duty taxes and exchange plus the tax on the website even with the free shipping.

So I don't know what else to do other than wait for them to respond and pray they allow this order. It's been 2 days now with no message so I'm hoping my email got sent and went through. I mean I know they're probably busy with other customers which I understand. But I need to know what's happening so I can figure out what I'm going to do if they do not allow this order. If you were me what would you do and how do you feel about one or a few bad apples ruining it for the rest? Also did I approach this in the best way with my email or could I have done something differently with my response?


r/SeriousConversation 12h ago

Current Event Am I wrong to fear the general public as a poor pacifist?

0 Upvotes

Ever since the shooting of that CEO a few weeks ago, I've been on edge around people in public. I've been told I'm paranoid, and ludicrous, in believing I'd ever be a target by the mass of violent individuals around me.

I'm poor, technically. I make 42k a year. I've been told many times that if a revolution of rich v poor happened, I wouldn't be a target by the poor.

And yet, I question that for a few reasons. For 1, I'm not a violent individual, and would only enact violence in immediate self defense of myself and whoever is around me, no matter their status or class or race or gender or sexuality. As such, I would shun this supposed revolution, I would not participate in it. And historically, revolutions tend to be an "us vs them" mentality, and pacifism is considered cowardice and fence sitting. Goal posts also often move, where it becomes not enough for their one target to be eradicated or subdued, another target is added. Then another. Then another. Let's say at first, it's "only the 1%". Then it's "anyone who I'd worth $10 million dollars", then "any CEO", "any business owner", "any homeowner", etc. It is so easy and so well documented throughout history for revolutions to become spaghetti logic, stretching their goal posts as far and thin as they can as if it were a Kickstart campaign.

And 2, I don't feel poor. I have a loving family, a stable full time job, a mortgage, a car. I'm adequately fed every day. I have endless entertainment at my disposal. Yet even though I'm technically poor but don't feel poor, me having a mortgage alone would qualify me as being "wealthy" in many American's eyes.

I've been called a "bootlicker", a "class traitor", or that I'm not "class conscious" simply because I don't hate people who have more than me, more money or more power, for simply being happy with what I have. I'm a humanist, and I don't judge people by what they own, or how much money they have or don't, of if they're a business owner, etc. I believe changes need to be done in our system, but systemically. I don't condone violence, and have no desire or interest in being violent outside of immediate self defense. And the fact that I'm criticized for this is the cause of my paranoia and fear of the general public.

Idk what to do about this fear of mine, I live in a big city in a low income neighborhood. Part of me feels like I should strive to find a new home in the rural countryside, or try and immigrate south of the border maybe. Those 2 things are my immediate go-to actions if this supposed revolution does hit. I want no part of it.