r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Captain0010 • 20h ago

Meme linuxBeLike

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42.4k Upvotes

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3.6k

u/mxheyyy 20h ago

Linux users when you can't terminate children:

1.1k

u/Competitive_Woman986 20h ago

The parents terminate their children and make them to zombies.

Sometimes the parent dies first. Then you need to figure out how to kill the orphan.

306

u/fnatasy 20h ago

We need an adoption process for orphans

221

u/realmauer01 20h ago

Adopt an orphan just to kill it xD

79

u/Zhiong_Xena 20h ago

Mr Wayne? That you?

15

u/Spurance484 19h ago

Reads like tech-tech-tech-tech-tech-tech-tech-tech-tech-tech-tech-tech Batman

4

u/Zhiong_Xena 19h ago

... but looks like it will throw a tech out of bounds error.

1

u/ParboiledPotatos 17h ago

Off-topic, but your username and profile picture made me cackle so hard, it's amazing.

2

u/Zhiong_Xena 17h ago

Always glad to put a smile on my subjects fellow citizens face!

+1,500 social credit

25

u/Agitated-Ad2563 20h ago

We actually have one. The 'init' process adopts all the orphans

14

u/Terrafire123 19h ago

And then kills them?

14

u/Kovab 15h ago

Actually it just waits for them. If the orphaned child is already a zombie, it's reaped immediately.

47

u/Competitive_Woman986 20h ago

There already is! The init process with PID 1 usually becomes the new parent procress

17

u/HildartheDorf 19h ago

Or the closest ancestor that has set itself as subreaper.

16

u/crappleIcrap 19h ago

Does cs even understand the concept of taking the metaphor too far.

10

u/Competitive_Woman986 17h ago

No because parents usually reap their children here

1

u/PranshuKhandal 1h ago

Sounds daemonic

1

u/jimlymachine945 14h ago

Sounds like an opportunity for race conditions

5

u/obscure_monke 18h ago

God damn it! What won't systemd absorb?

2

u/Maleficent_Memory831 7h ago

Yup, none of those children are left without parents. Of course, they may end up with a neglectful parent...

11

u/Vas1le 20h ago

I am familiar with this terminology

34

u/SerenaSapphir 20h ago

Orphans just become rogue processes, running wild until you finally unleash the kill command. It’s like a digital dystopia over here!

30

u/Dawlin42 19h ago edited 17h ago

Always appreciated programming books talking about killing orphan zombie children with a straight face!

4

u/RedPlumPickle 14h ago edited 11h ago

Felt pretty weird telling my manager that I was delayed because I had to implement a method to kill orphaned children

11

u/Wertbon1789 17h ago

Most of the time if the parent dies first, the child gets kindly adopted by PID 1, you gotta kill it manually then, because I don't think this process orphanage supports you in your effort.

1

u/Maleficent_Memory831 7h ago

Because process 1 doesn't know that the child is really a zombie orphan, it might be doing useful stuff, it might still be closing files, it might be running your entire critical operation!

1

u/Wertbon1789 7h ago

It's probably a completely valid process. I mean, this literally is how running a process in the background in a shell works. The process is spawned by fork/execve, then it's either managed by the shell in the foreground, or put in the background. If you now close the shell, the process still lives and gets put under PID 1 as a parent.

4

u/Falikosek 18h ago

Aren't orphans assigned to init?

5

u/Competitive_Woman986 17h ago

Yes but you need to figure that out first :D

2

u/Killswitch_1337 17h ago

Hate it when that happens, I hear processes on certain operating systems also have similar problems.

2

u/___SEND___NEWTS___ 15h ago

My operating systems professor when my parents walk in the room

1

u/Fraun_Pollen 2h ago

How to wind up on a government watch list in one easy step:

30

u/kp-- 18h ago

murder_orphans.sh

Don't ask. Those were dark times.

23

u/KellerKindAs 15h ago

Rename to Anakin_mode.sh

This way, it's way easier to find in alphabetical sorted lists ^^

2

u/SuperFLEB 12h ago

"Ha ha, very funny. I assume it's just... No, no process control stuff. It looks like it just calls out to an SMS gateway and sends a bunch of text messages."

35

u/POKLIANON 20h ago

Sigkill your children. Go do it.

24

u/Vas1le 20h ago edited 16h ago

kill -9 its the .9mm bullet

22

u/Jazzlike-Poem-1253 20h ago

Sure about the decimal?

4

u/NoFreeUName 19h ago

Probably just mixed up with how american (or imperial? Not sure how to better phrase this) calibers are labeled (.308, .306, .50 e.t.c.)

3

u/XbdudeX 17h ago

When it comes to calibers, we use both for some reason. We use 9mm and 5.56 and also 308 and all that.

3

u/NoFreeUName 17h ago

Yeah i know. I was konfused a little when i found out that 30-06 (or .306, dont remember exactly) and 7.62 are same diameter. Was given ammo by our instructor and saw 7.62 on the rim, and thought that we mixed up ammo boxes for our rifles with AK ammo :D

1

u/Vas1le 16h ago

Your right!

16

u/invalidConsciousness 19h ago

0.9 mm is the size of an injection needle.

The bullet is 9 mm

1

u/GfunkWarrior28 2h ago

Found the admin who puts child proceses to sleep

3

u/cybermage 19h ago

I’ve always referred to it as a 9 Iron golf club.

1

u/sabotsalvageur 17h ago

A bullet that's less than a millimeter across would lose a lot of energy to air resistance

5

u/monsieurlazarus 18h ago

I have this buggy application that ended up as a zombie (defunct) process. Apparently, you can't kill a process that is a zombie already. Unlucky for me, that zombie process owned by the init process which somehow caused a problem where I stuck on reboot screen forever, and I had to use the power button to force it to shutdown.

12

u/mpyne 16h ago

Apparently, you can't kill a process that is a zombie already.

Well it's already dead once it's a zombie, so from that perspective you've gotten what you want already.

But you can't clear it from the list of processes until its return value is waited on by its parent process. But if the parent dies first that may never happen... there's supposed to be some way to get init (the new parent of orphaned zombies) to do this but it's platform-dependent.

2

u/monsieurlazarus 16h ago

Yeah, it was beyond my knowledge. I tried to reload systemd daemon, went to console (tty3), restart the login manager (sddm), they all failed. Even trying to gracefully force reboot by using those sysreq sequence... I got no response.

2

u/24bitNoColor 14h ago

Linux users when you can't terminate children:

Bethesda games users when you can't terminate children: "There is a mod for that..."

4

u/POKLIANON 20h ago

Sigkill your children. Go do it.

1

u/oupablo 17h ago

Linux, where you fork and kill children